惊声尖笑5（2013）

等等，不对，是个鬼
Wait a minute. I was wrong. It's a ghost.
非常强大
So strong.
- 救命啊，抓住我了！ - 蛋！
- Help, it's got me! - Dan!
蛋，醒醒！
Dan, wake up!
女士，你必须得搬出去啊
Ma'am, you got to get out of here.
太邪恶了！是妈妈！
It's evil! It's pure evil! It's Mama!
（第五夜 2013年3月12日）
你现在相信有问题了吧？
Now do you believe that something's going on?
他被拖走了，大喊“妈妈”
He got dragged away, yelling out, "Mama."
他被拖走了？我不记得了
He got dragged away? I don't remember that.
蛋，你当时晕了
Dan, you were unconscious.
这我也不记得了
I don't remember that, either.
宝贝，我不想和你吵
Look, honey, I don't want to argue.
重要的是我们深爱彼此，是不？
The important thing is, we love each other, OK?
不，重要的是
No, the important thing is that
“妈妈”可能是真的
this Mama thing could be real
她可能想杀死我们
and she might be trying to kill us.
朱朱，那小子是个骗子
Jod, that guy was a fraud
鉴定完毕，懂吗？
and that's it. OK?
- 那是什么？ - 是我鸡鸡
- What's that? - My penis.
- 不是 - 是
- No. - Yes.
- 那，就在那里 - 我知道，努力中
- There, right now, there. - I know. I'm trying.
- 到底是什么？ - 我鸡鸡？
- What the hell is that? - My penis?
什么声音？
What's making that sound?
蛋，到底是什么？
Dan, what is that?
我鸡鸡
My penis.
是烟吗？
Is that smoke?
玛利亚！你在干毛？
Maria! What are you doing?!
你要把房♥子烧了啊！
You're gonna burn down the house!
杀死恶灵！
Kill bad spirits!
怎么了？
What is going on?
玛利亚差点把房♥子烧了
Maria almost burned the house down.
- 什么？ - 够了，她得…
- What? - That's it, she's got...
够了！还管不了你了
Enough! This is getting out of hand.
你把大伙吓到了
You're scaring everybody.
你不能开除她
You can't fire her.
她都和我们好几年了
I mean, she's been with us for years.
我不知道该怎么做
I don't know what to do.
- 这是歧视 - 好吧，这就是搞神马鬼？
- That's discrimination. - OK, now what the hell?
真是疯了！
This is completely insane!
这是她的信仰，宝贝！
It's what she believes in, honey!
给我！
Give me that!
你赶我走？你家现在处于危险之中！
You're gonna let me go?! Your family is not safe!
对不起，玛利亚，我们缘分尽了
I'm sorry, Maria, it's just not working out.
我会给你推荐的，没有孩子的人家
I'll give you a recommendation, just nothing involving kids
或者在方圆一英里之内
or within a mile of anyone's house.
我没工夫和你扯了，我还得工作呢
I can't do this anymore. I got to go to work.
我都听不明白你说什么！
I don't even understand what you're saying!
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
在过去的两年中，我们的蛋·桑德斯
for the past two years, our own Dan Sanders has been
在30个猩猩身上测试了I13药剂
testing the I-13 compound on 30 apes.
不幸的是，其中的29个变成了
Unfortunately, 29 of them turned into
精神病，疯子，暴♥力♥的性变♥态♥
insane, aggressive, deviant sexual predators.
但有一个，凯撒
But one, Caesar,
智力得到了巨大的提升
has experienced a huge leap in intelligence.
他一人面对三个对手
Here he plays three opponents.
虽然他们也是猩猩
Of course, they're apes.
但凯撒的惊人能力是一个人的杰作
But Caesar's superior capabilities are the work of one man.
他就是I13项目的幕后推手，蛋·桑德…
The brains behind the I-13 project, Dan San...
- 你没事吧？ - 没事，马丁
- Are you OK? - I'm fine, Martin.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
我来给你们介绍凯撒…
I'd like to introduce you to Caesar...
小样的，看你往哪儿跑！
You're not getting away from me!
哦，不！
Oh, no!
（突发新闻）
百老汇大桥上的交通陷于瘫痪
Traffic is backed up on the Broad Street Bridge,
那里的警♥察♥很显然
where apparently police
受到了猩猩群的攻击
are battling dozens of apes in a running gunfight.
我们的报道证实有某实验室的科学家
Our reports indicate that a scientist at a research laboratory
给了这些猩猩一种实验的智力药物
gave these apes an experimental intelligence drug.
据称所有相关领导都赶到了现场
I'm being told that all available officers are now on the scene.
可此时此刻
But at this time,
请观众们尽量绕行该地段
we are advising all our viewers to find alternate routes.
我们之前接到了一个911报♥警♥电♥话♥
I'm now being told we have the actual 911 call
它使警♥察♥赶到了现场
that first alerted the police to the situation.
911，什么事儿？
911, what's your emergency?
天啊！屋子里都是猩猩！
Oh, my God! Apes are inside the house!
冷静点，夫人，怎么了？
Calm down, ma'am. What happened?
我们正在做♥爱♥…哦，天啊！
We were making love and... Oh, my God!
- 他们在攻击他！ - 他们在攻击谁，夫人？
- They're attacking him! - Who are they attacking, ma'am?
卡尔！哦天啊！快救救他!
Carl! Oh, my God! Please, help him!
你的丈夫呢？
Where is your husband right now?
卡尔不是我丈夫
Carl's not my husband.
（说的就是你，嘿嘿）
我丈夫是12频道新闻的播音员
My husband's the anchor for Channel 12 News.
他不会知道这事儿
He can't know about it.
- 好的，夫人，但我们需要… - 快！
- OK, ma'am, but we need to... - Hurry!
趁我丈夫不在赶紧来救他！
Send help while my husband's still on the air!
夫人，这并不重要，您的生命才重要
Ma'am, that's not important. Your life is.
恩，没错，他才不管我死活呢
Yeah, you're right. Why should he care?
我是说，我非常肯定
I mean, I'm pretty sure
他又在睡那个女播音员的，那个贱♥货♥！
he's been sleeping with his co-anchor, that bitch!
我要撕烂她的…
Oh, I'm gonna rip her...
（我们正在试验技术难题，请闪开！）
恭喜你，姑娘
Congratulations, girl.
我就知道是你
I knew it was gonna be you.
如此完美，如此机械化
You're just so perfect, so mechanical.
看你跳舞就好像看机器人跳舞一样
Watching you dance is like watching a robot.
谢谢
Thanks.
饿死了
So hungry.
就这点？
Is that all?
皮埃尔有体重要求
Pierre has a weight limit.
我太胖了，看看玛拉
I'm too heavy. Look at Mara.
看起来好极了
She looks great.
你没事吧？
Look, are you sure you're OK?
家里发生了怪事儿
Weird things have been happening at home.
凯西说会有意外
Kathy said there was going to be an accident.
结果希瑟就发生意外了
Then it happened to Heather.
那真是糟透了
That's some serious shit.
你该和你孩子好好唠唠
You should talk to those kids.
哇，披萨
Whoa, pizza.
我吃啊吃啊吃，但就是不增重
I eat and eat and eat, and I don't gain a pound.
（婊♥子♥）
（贱♥人♥）
（垃圾）
希瑟！
Heather!
你以为你能取代我？
You think you can replace me?
看天鹅到时候吞噬了你你还臭美不！
Well, we'll see how you like it once the swan consumes you!
妈的！
Damn it!
该死的门！
Door!
奶奶个腿的！
Son of a bitch!
哦，没想到你还很擅长建造啊
Oh, I didn't know you were such a good builder.
凯西，你能告诉我关于妈妈的事儿吗？
Kathy, I want you to tell me about Mama.
妈妈不喜欢你谈论她
Mama doesn't like it when you talk about her.
妈妈是谁？
Who is Mama?
她读了一本邪恶的书
She was a woman who read from an evil book.
有时候她会在梦中找我们
Sometimes she comes to us in a dream.
梦中？
In a dream?
对啊，梦中
In your dreams, of course.
我希望看到你的梦境
I wish I could see what's inside your dreams.
进入你的梦境
To extract what's in your dreams.
进入“盗梦空间”
To perform an inception.
别吹了行不？那是我出生时吹我的号♥
Will you drop that? That's my birth tuba.
（介不是小李子吗？）