杀人狂恋爱中（1987）

一切都棒极了 你说是吗?
Everything was wonderful, don't you agree?
是啊
Yep.
当然 你总可以给她送束花
Sure, but you can always send her flowers.
她有花粉过敏
Oh, she's allergic to flowers.
那一盒精致的糖果呢?
How about a nice box of candy?
真可惜 眼睛是会骗人的
Too bad, eyes can be deceiving.
走一个 - 问题就在这
One, what's the problem.
当然 你总可以给她送束花
Why don't you send her some flowers?
那就送一盒精致的糖果!
Well, then, send her a box of candy!
走一个
One.
怎么了?
What's the matter?
你有试过送束花吗?
Have you tried a bouquet of flowers?
那送一盒糖果呢?
How 'bout a box of candy?
你有没有想过
Well, did you ever think about
也许给她买♥♥点投资性房♥地♥产♥呢?
maybe buying her some investment property?
这能给她减点税
Yeah, it'll give her a break on her taxes,
但我觉得一间六居室大房♥够大了
Sure, but I think a six-unit would be big enough.
但我还有一座商场要出手
I got a shopping plaza I wanna unload.
是不是觉得要有字幕该多好?
Wouldn't you just kill for subtitles?
我雇了个新舞娘 生意一如往常地好
I hired a new dancer, business was, well as good as usual.
我并不是一直做舞娘的
I haven't always been a dancer, you know.
我曾经非常不开心 我的气场一团糟
I was once very unhappy, my karma was all screwed up.
我还认真考虑过自杀
I had given serious thought to killing myself.
因为 人生实在是太他妈无聊了
I mean, life was so fucking boring,
我身上没发生过任何事
nothing, nothing ever happened to me,
已经到了我想自我了结的极点
and it got the point where I wanted to end it all
或者别人替我了结也行
or have somebody end it for me.
我曾在大晚上去林间散步
I used to walk in the woods at night
希望能够遇袭 但没有任何事发生!
waiting to be attacked but nothing, I mean, I was in a rut!
你们试过瑜伽吗?
Have you ever done yoga?
我信天主教
I'm a Catholic.
我每天早上都做 你们也该试试
I do it every morning, you should do it,
会让你觉得好些的!
you'd feel better!
事实上 是瑜伽和这份工作拯救了我
Actually, it was the yoga and this job that saved me!
事实上 这份工作是我身上
Actually, this job is one of the best things
发生过最棒的事
that ever happened to me.
乔 那个老板 他真是个甜心
Joe, the owner, he IS such a sweetie!
我们约会过一次 没什么结果
We went out once, it didn't work out,
但他还是给了我这份工作
but he still gave me this job.
你知道 他不是那种人
You know, he is not the type of guy
对待女孩像刀俎鱼肉
that treats a girl like a piece of meat
玩弄够了就丢到一边
just to cut up and throw away.
生活简直不能更美好!
Life couldn't have been better!
除了一个问题
Except for this problem
厨房♥水槽总是出问题
we kept having with our kitchen sink.
水管工什么时候来?
When's the plumber coming?
水管工什么时候来?
When is the plumber coming?
你没叫人来?
Didn't you call one?
你没叫人来?
Didn't you call one?
我以为你说你要叫!
I thought you said you were!
我以为你说你要叫!
I thought you said you were!
真的?
Really?
真的!
Really!
你好! 有人在吗!
Hello, is anybody there!
呜呼呼呼!
Woo woo woo woo!
呜呼呼呼!
Woo woo woo woo!
帆船翻 翻帆船!
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat!
什么玩意儿?
What the fuck!
帆船翻 翻帆船!
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat!
你在干嘛呢?
What are you doing?
快说! 帆船翻 翻帆船! 快说!
Say it! Toy boat, you need, say it!
帆船翻 翻帆船!
Toy boat, toy boat!
谢谢 谢谢 说你需要被听到
Thank you, thank you, say you need to be heard.
快说 - 不要!
Say it. No!
快点快说! - 不要!
Come on, say it! No!
说啊! 说啊!
Say it, say it!
我回家去了
I'm goin' home.
拜拜 - 快说!
Bye. Say it!
叽叽咕咕噫噫噫 - 快说!
No, unique, yee yee! Say it!
算了吧
Nevermind.
喂 是的 我家的厨房♥
Hello, yes, I'm having problems
水池下水有点问题
with the drain in my kitchen sink.
没错 呃 下水堵了
Mm-hmm, it's, um, it's clogged,
我需要派人来疏通一下
I need someone to come over and unclog it.
是的 你能派个人来吗?
Yeah, could you send someone over?
什么叫你们没有上门服务?
Well, whatta you mean, you don't make house calls?
这真是我听过最愚蠢的事了
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
行 你也一样!
Yeah, well, well you, too!
他让我周四下午三点
He wanted me to bring in
把水槽带过去修
at three o'clock on Thursday!
那么 这个家伙如何?
What about, what about this guy?
这写着他能上门服务
It says here he makes house calls.
艾科尼(青春痘)街的比尔·怀赫德
Oh, Bill Whitehead at Acne.
让我给他打个电♥话♥
Yeah, lemme give him a call.
生意一定做得挺大
Must be a big business.
是啊
Yeah.
你说得没错 这段戏该结束了
Yeah, you're right, this is the end of the scene.
凯特?
Kate?
凯特?
Kate?
凯特?
Kate?
凯特?
Kate?
凯特!
Kate!
凯特?
Kate?
凯特!
Kate!
别吓我 你要干什么
Don't do that, what are you tryin' to do,
我差点犯心脏病 差点勒死你!
give me a heart attack, I oughta strangle you!
我以为你金盆洗手了!
I thought you gave that up!
洗手是吧 我回到家
Gave it up, sure, I come home
门也没锁
and the door's unlocked.
门还...外面很多坏人疯子的
The door's un-, there's crazy people out there,
你知道我在说什么吗?
you know what I'm saying?
你妈妈在你小时候就没教过你
Didn't your mother ever tell you when you were a kid
锁好门吗 锁好门然后...
to lock the door, just lock it so people--
你冷静点好吗!
Will you calm down?
我只是去车♥库♥拿这个了
I was just getting this from the garage.
水管工哪去了?
Well, what happened to the plumber?
他死了
He died.
他...什么? 什么?
He dah, what?-what?
他死了!
He died!
他一直没来 我就给客服打电♥话♥
He didn't show up, so I called the service,
他们说他死了 懂了吗?
and they told me he died, OK?
那他来不了了?
So he, he's not coming?
他当然是来不了了!
Of course, he's not coming!
你是笨蛋吗!
What are you, stupid?
你是脑残吗?
What are you, brain dead?
放过我吧行吗?
Just leave me alone, OK? Leave you!
好的 谢谢你
Just, thank you.
祝你好运
Good luck.
行吧
Yeah.
真是混♥蛋♥
Such an asshole!
* 最高法♥院♥禁止(bar: 酒吧, 禁止)鸡♥奸♥罪行
太棒了 现在我犯罪了
Great, now I'm a criminal!
我们再找个水管工吧
Let's get another plumber.
我早准备好了
I got him right here.
哦天啊
Oh boy!
再来点! 再来!
More, more, more!
你找到毛病在哪了吗?
Have you found the problem yet?
我看找到了
Yes, I think I have.
你好 下水修好了吗?
Hi, is the drain all fixed? Hi.
不太好
Not exactly.
什么叫不太好