纸年（2018）

喔 我爱这个女人
Oh I love this woman!
亲我
Kiss me!
么 么 么 么
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
我爱你
I love you.
我爱她
I love her.
我爱你 我爱你
I love you, I love you.
恭喜 恭喜 祝福你
Congratulations, congratulations, good luck to you
和你的孩子
and your baby.
恭喜 恭喜
Congratulations, congratulations.
我爱她
I love her!
谢谢
Thank you!
晚安
Good night!
老婆
Wife.
呃
Ew.
你是我的老婆
You're my wife.
别说那个词
Don't say that word.
- 老婆 老婆 老婆 老婆 - 恶心
- Wife, wife, wife, wife. - Ew!
老婆
Wife.
我的老婆
My wife.
老公
Husband.
- 哎 - 哎
- Oh. - Oh.
老公
Husband.
那对我真的太管用了
That really works for me, though.
我喜欢
I like that.
喔
Oh!
我们结婚了 妈妈
We got married, Mom!
哦 我的天哪
Oh my God, oh my God!
你听见了吗 吉姆？
Did you hear that, Jim?
丹尼 你结婚了我真开心
I'm so happy Danny that you are married.
没错 木已成舟 我要对她负起责任
Yeah, Yeah, I made an honest woman out of her.
内特 你不打算说点什么吗？
Aren't you going to say anything, Nate?
恭喜 亲爱的
Congratulations, honey.
谢谢你 老爸
Thanks, Dad.
干嘛? 他们干都干了
What? They already did it.
还有什么可说的
What's there to say?
乔安妮 内特
Joanne, Nate,
你们得来我们这儿串门呀
you'll have to come visit us.
喔 宝贝 这听起来还不错
Oh, Pearl that-that sounds just lovely.
抱歉 你那边又卡住了
Sorry, you're frozen again.
你刚刚说什么
What was that?
哦 好的 妈妈 我想着
Oh, okay Mom, I think um
我去找个网好点的地方
I'm going to find some better wifi here.
现在能听见了吗？
Um, can you hear me now?
还是不行
Ah, it's still off Danny.
妈妈？ 哈喽？
- Mom? - Hello?
你再多走走试试
The more you move around
对
Yep.
你能
Can you just
别转相机吗
stop rotating the camera.
我需要来杯咖啡
I need coffee.
钱的方面 你们俩是怎么打算的？
What are you two going to do about money?
我不知道 妈妈
I don't know, Mom.
赚呗
Make it.
你们俩都没有工作
Neither one of you has a job.
丹他是个很好的演员
Dan's a very good actor.
可也没活儿接
Who's never booked a gig.
他有活儿接
He has booked gigs.
他有很多活儿可以接
He's booked tons of gigs.
我不明白你为什么不在公♥司♥里干了
I don't know why you quit working at the firm.
你♥爸♥爸仍然需要你的帮忙啊
Your father could still use your help.
妈妈 我告诉过你 我是个写作家
Mom, I told you. I'm a writer.
如果我接受了某个工作我就是另一个身份了
If I take a job then I'm suddenly that thing
我就不是个写作家了
and I'm not a writer.
我们会给你钱
We're giving you money.
我们不需要
We don't need it.
我只是希望你们能邀请我
I just wish that you would have invited us.
我知道
I know.
哦 不错
Oh, great.
你们在煮咖啡吗？
You guys made coffee?
太棒了
Amazing.
妈妈 你看见这个厨房♥了吗？
Mom, you see this kitchen?
- 看到了 很漂亮 - 看见这个厨房♥了吗？
- Yes, it's beautiful. - See the kitchen?
- 哦 是的呢 - 妈妈 这是个厨房♥呢
- Oh, it's so. - Mom, it's a good kitchen.
- 你能帮我拿上那个吗？ - 好的
- Can you grab that for me? - Yeah.
你需要我来开吗
You want me to do it?
我可以开
I can do it.
我可以的
I can do it.
你只要扭一下这个
You just got to twist the thing.
- 我可以 我可以 - 不 你
- I got it I got it. - No, you
我能搞定
I got it.
好难开
It's hard.
你觉得好点了吗
Do you feel better?
你的小肚肚
Your little tummy.
我的小肚肚?
My tum tum?
你的肚肚
Your tum tum.
你想要多少都可以
You can have as much as you want.
我们现在很有钱
We're rich now.
真的？
Really?
我们从我们的婚礼上省下了这笔钱
Yeah, we got all this free money from our wedding.
该死 也许我也该结婚了
Shit man, maybe I should get married.
我现在还是很穷
I'm so poor still.
真甜
Yeah, it's pretty sweet.
至今 我们好像
So far we've gotten like
收了800美元
$800 from like,
从叔叔阿姨
aunts and uncles and
和我妈妈摩♥门♥教♥里那些奇奇怪怪的朋友们
my mom's weird Mormon friends.
那太棒了
That's amazing.
我们也应该结婚
We should get hitched.
我们会结婚的
We'll get hitched.
- 马上就会变富有 对吧 - 嗯嗯
- Just get loaded, yeah. - Mmhmm.
- 对 结婚结婚 - 好
- All right, let's do it. - Okay.
你们想来点烤热狗么？
You guys want burnt hot dogs?
抱歉 我我把它们搁在烤架上太久了
I'm sorry, I left them on the grill too long and
我只是 我没在想它们 我只是在找 啤酒
I just, I was not thinking and I was looking, drinking beer
没事的
It's okay.
- 结婚 - 结婚
- Aw, married! - Married!
好的 好的
Okay. Okay.
你们结婚了 你们结婚啦
You're married, you're married!
我知道 我是一个结了婚的男人
I know. I'm a married man.
可别那样摸我
Don't touch me like that!
太可爱了
That's cute.
你们想再来点啤酒吗？
You guys want anymore beers?
哇哦 不错哦
Whoa, that was a nice one.
你会日我爷爷的 肯定的
You would fuck my grandpa, that's for sure.
那是当然啦 他是个性感男人
'Course I would! He's a sexual man.
我就知道你是这种人
I wouldn't put that past you.
所有成就都是你先解锁的
You were always the first to do everything.
才不是呢
That's not true.
哦 天呐 就是这样的
Oh, my God. It's so true.
不 - 是的 是你先亲了一个男孩子
- No! - Yes, you kissed a boy first.
和迈克尔·拉普纳一起旋转瓶子？
Spin the bottle with Michael Lapner?
那不算
That doesn't count.
- 它算 - 不算
- It does count. - No way.
你先给人口♥交♥的
You gave a blow job first.
但我有教你技巧
But I taught you the proper technique.
你知道 扭扭
You know, twist, twist.
舔舔
Lick, lick.
别用牙
No teeth.
像没牙的奶奶 哦 哦
Grandma, oh, oh!
多么悲伤和恶心
How sad and gross.