邻居大战

I got, like, four pails out of you.
待会得拿出去倒了
We should go mom tipping later.
这么快就开玩笑吗
Hey, too soon.
太快了吧
Okay, too soon. Way too soon.
说得对 不好意思 我只是想逗母牛开心一下嘛
Yeah, I agree. I'm just trying to lighten the moo-ood.
母牛哦
Moo-ood.
-别开玩笑了 -知道啦
Stop it. I know.
如果你再嘲笑我 我就搬回澳大利亚
I'm gonna move back to Australia if you don't stop.
现在我脑子里全是笑话了
Now I can't stop thinking of them.
-马克...-好吧
Okay. Mac...
这件事在我"乳"齿纯洁的心中留下了阴影
That was udder-ly traumatic.
别说了
Please stop.
你身体的多少成分被震撼到了 2% 1%
How much of you is traumatized? 2%? 1%?
双关语
Cheesy的词源是奶酪的意思 这里还是关于奶♥子♥的笑话
这个笑话真俗气
That was a cheesy one.
-不错嘛 -你喜欢哦
That was good. You like that?
你也是能讲笑话的嘛
You did it. See?
是吗
Yeah?
听见了吗
But you know what? You hear that?
这是我们的胜利
It's victory.
我们终于可以好好过日子了
We can finally go back to our lives.
一切都结束了
It's over.
你们俩来这儿干嘛 皮特呢
What the heck are you guys doing here? Where's Pete?
我不知道 好像是去什么校园招聘会去了
I don't know. At some job fair or some shit.
还有什么能比这个见面重要
What the heck's more important than this?
嘿 我就是想跟你们说一声
Hey, I just wanna let you guys know
来这里之前 我吃了 整整一个大♥麻♥巧克力蛋糕
that I ate a whole pot brownie before coming in here
劲儿慢慢地上头了哦
and I am really starting to feel it right now. Yeah.
你干嘛要吃
Why would you do that?
你们两个不许说话 我来处理
Guys, don't talk. Please let me handle this.
好了
Okay.
"兄弟会严重致伤一名经济学教授"
"Fraternity severely injures economics Professor."
这是啥
What is this?
报纸头条
It's a headline.
是好头条 还是坏头条
Is it a good one, or a bad one?
坏的
It's a bad one.
非常坏的头条
Yeah, it's a really bad one.
坏头条
It's a bad one.
作为台达帕普西的主席 我保证
I promise you, as the president of delta psi,
我们会想方设法纠正我们的错误
that we will find a way to right this wrong.
非常抱歉
Very sorry about this.
算了吧
You know what? That's it.
你们已经是第二次大错了
你们到这学期结束之前都留校察看
You're on probation until the end of the year.
如果你们再因为办爬梯
Okay? You so much as throw a party,
导致噪音投诉 或者再给我 弄出一个这样的头条
generate a noise complaint, or end up on any sort of headline,
你们就要被取缔
and you are out.
请不要让我们留校察看
Please don't put us on probation.
我们学期末的狂欢怎么办 泰迪
What about the end-of-the-year bash, Teddy?
我们还要名垂青史 我们还买♥♥了一堆气压啤酒桶呢
I mean, we have to get on the wall, plus we bought the kegs.
她会给我们报销那些酒桶吗
What, is she gonna reimburse us for those kegs?
-你能不能给我们把酒桶报销了 -不能
Are you gonna reimburse us for those kegs? No.
司寇尼 现在别闹
Scoonie. Not now.
滚出去
Get out!
真抱歉
I'm so sorry.
我想跟你说啊
I just want to let you know,
来见你之前 我吃了整整一个大♥麻♥蛋糕
I ate a pot brownie before coming in here.
你最不应该透露这事的人就是我了
I'm the opposite of the person you say that to.
你这一项就能又算一个大错了
That could have been two strikes, right there.
哦 你在这儿呢
Oh, there he is.
吓死我啦
Holy shit.
我算是逗你玩儿呢
I'm just kidding. Sort of.
怎么样 兄弟
What's up, man?
副♥主♥席♥ 你错过了院长会面啊
Thanks for missing our meeting, Mr. vp.
我有工作面试 所以...
I had this job interview, so...
当然了 你自己的事更重要嘛
No, no, clearly you had more important things to do.
也是
Yeah.
院长会面怎么样
So, how'd the meeting go?
挺好
Oh, it went great. It went great.
我们被留校了 不能再开爬梯了
We're on probation. We can't party.
该死 真扫兴哦
Shit. That's a bummer. Mmm-hmm.
那...昨晚的事怎么说
So, are we cool with what happened last night?
先兄弟 后马子 不是吗
Bros before hos. Right?
-对 -对吗
-Yeah. -Right?
对啊
Yeah, man.
先JJ 后美臀
Junk before trunk.
对啊 先蛋蛋 后花姑娘
All right, balls before dolls.
先同僚 后 情妇
Compadres before I sleep with tu madres.
先布拉德皮特 后玩小木耳
Brad pitt before grab clit.
先大棒 后瘦干狐狸精
Deez nuts before skinny sluts.
先撸管 后约炮
Masturbate before I ask her to date.
先放屁游戏 后看大妈访谈
Beef stew before watching the view.
先勃起 后1D
Male erection before one direction.
先超级玛丽 后末路狂花
Mario and Luigi before Thelma & Louise-ee.
先伯特与厄尼[芝麻街里的基友]后上♥床♥欢喜
Bert and Ernie before squirtin' spermy.
先男人钱包 后...其他钱包
Man purses before regular purses.
-说的不错 -恩
Makes sense. Yeah.
先运动 后生殖瘤...不要 这个不好
Sports before genital warts... No, fuckin'. That's bad.
-这个很怪诶 -我有点不在状态了
That was a little weird. I'm fading a little bit.
先约翰·麦登 后...
John madden before...
阿♥拉♥丁里的茉莉
Jasmine from Aladdin! Jasmine from Aladdin!
我们同时说出来的
We just said it at the same time!
好了 我还有事...
All right, man, I should probably...
待会我们回去见 好吗
But, I'll see you back at the house, yeah?
再见
See you, brother.
-聊得不错 哥们 -待会见
-All right. Good talk, man. -Later.
嘿 你是台达帕普西兄弟会的吗
Hey! You delta psi?
是的 你也是兄弟会的
Yeah. Are you a delta?
不 我过去的室友是
No, my roommate was.
我总是带着他的领带去勾搭女孩子
I used to wear his ties to get girls.
你对AT&T的工作感兴趣吗
You interested in working for at&t?
你们是做什么的
What do you guys do?
我们是一家大型电讯公♥司♥
We're a giant telecommunications corporation.
-手♥机♥啊...-哦
Cell phones. Oh.
你的平均绩点是多少
What's your gpa?
大概二出头吧
Like, low twos.
我在说笑 一点几 将近2
I'm just kidding. High ones.
我们想找的员工
We're actually looking for candidates
最好在成绩上面有所建树
that are a little more academically inclined.
祝你愉快
So, you have a nice day.
你什么意思
What does that mean?
就是说你太蠢了
It means you're too dumb.
祝你好运 兄弟
Good luck, bro.
我希望我们能够共同"建立"美好未来
I hope we can"build" a great future together.
建筑学笑话嘛
Architecture joke.
我懂啊
I know!
我喜欢开玩笑
I like to have fun with it.
无聊
Lame.
老马克
Big Mac! Yo!
-他坐在这儿呐 -嘿
There he is. Hey!
你知道吗 我在想
You know, I was just thinking,
你和凯利可以带着你家小公主
it would be great to have you and Kelly
来我家一起聚一聚
and your little princess over for a play date.
-我们会考虑的 -好的 行
We'll put it on the books. Okay, cool. Great.
争取就最近吧 我会给你答复的
Sometime soon. I'll just... I'll get back to you.
很好
Yeah. Great.
这时候狗就开始叫 汪汪汪
"And the dog goes, 'woof, woof, woof, woof!
汪汪汪
"'Woof, woof, woof!'"
-你好 宝贝 -今天过得怎么样
-oh, hi, baby. -How's it going?
挺好 我挺好的
Oh, good. Yeah, I'm good, I'm fine.
我挺好
I'm fine.