贵族大盗

Score one for Martland.
-马特兰 -上帝
-Martland... -God.
斯特拉戈还有什么特点
...what else can you tell me about Strago?
色盲 对腰果过敏
Well, he's colorblind and he's allergic to cashews.
太好了 英国的国民和
Goody. Every subject of the Crown and
腰果都能安心睡觉了
every cashew in the Kingdom shall sleep safely.
乔安娜 你好漂亮
Johanna, you look lovely.
阿♥拉♥斯泰尔
Alastair.
你真的好美 亲爱的
You do look lovely, darling.
美极了
So absolutely lovely.
我就知道是你
I thought that was you.
艳光四射
Radiant...
马特兰和乔安娜也在学校认识
Martland also met Johanna at school.
经过三年的追求
After a three-year courtship,
他终于鼓足勇气对她表达爱意
he finally worked up the courage to express his feelings to her.
写了一首诗
In verse.
乔安娜 你...
Johanna, do you...
他还真会挑时机
Rotten timing for him.
-你好 -马特兰
-Hello! -Martland.
能麻烦你关门吗
Would you mind terribly, dear boy, the door?
当然 我 可以 把门关上
'Course, I'll just... I'll get it. I'll shut the door.
戈雅的画遗失是怎么回事
Now, what's all this about a missing Goya?
谁叫这房♥子太大
Oh, it's the house. Terribly vast.
有回音 你不知道吗
Echo-ey, don't you know?
事关机密 我想
Well, that's classified information, I'm afraid.
你懂的 攸关国♥家♥安♥全♥
You know, state secrets and what have you.
我老公留了那丑胡须 想抓住青春的尾巴
My husband is trying to reclaim his youth by growing that horrible moustache.
麻烦告诉他来不及了
Do inform him that that ship has sailed.
我家每个长辈都留胡须
Every Mortdecai man before me has had one.
我会让你知道
And I will have you know that some members
有些女人觉得这样很迷人
of the fairer sex do find it quite appealing.
哪个女人
Whom exactly?
当然不是特定的人
No one in particular, of course.
这是比喻 众多女性
Metaphoric woman... Women.
比喻 就是 你懂的
Metaphorically... General... You know.
你敢用这脏东西勾引别的女人 搞清楚
If you are growing that excrement on your lip to please another, know this:
我会杀了她
I will kill her.
阿♥拉♥斯泰尔 好高兴见到你 一定要再来
Oh, Alastair. It's so lovely. Do come back.
能跟讲理的人说话真让人心情舒畅
It's so wonderful to have someone of reasonable intelligence to converse with.
我很乐意
I'd be delighted.
我觉得你们婚姻出现了裂痕
Do I detect a slight crack in the marital armor?
小摩擦而已 没什么
A mere tiff, old bean. Nothing more.
是吗 我觉得似乎不只如此
Oh, really? Seems like more than a tiff to me.
只是内人需要改变某个想法而已
My wife needs to come around to a certain viewpoint. That is all.
祝你好运 兄弟
Well, good luck, mate.
设法找到那幅戈雅画作 用你的看家本事
See what you can dig up about that Goya. Usual channels.
明天在伦敦见
We'll meet in London tomorrow.
没问题
Of course.
本来画都到手了
I had the painting in my hands.
一定有人知道我会去
Someone must have known I was coming.
米尔顿·克兰福 那个美国人
Milton Krampf? The American?
一定是他的艺品商干的
Then it must have been his dealer.
克兰福的艺品商叫什么名字
Krampf's dealer, what is his name?
摩迪凯
Mortdecai.
乔安娜 亲爱的
Johanna, my darling.
我的爱
My... My love. My...
唯一的真爱 我心爱的小宠物
My only true love. My love beast.
闺房♥里的小淘气
My rumpus room rascal.
你想象不到 我会是什么样的猛兽
You have no idea the beast you are about to receive.
乔安娜
Johanna?
你在里面还好吗 亲爱的
Are you all right in there, darling?
是我 查理 你老公
It is I, Charlie. Your husband.
什么事
What is it?
我心爱的月亮 我是你专有的
Oh, moon of my delight. This is your own personalized
阿♥拉♥伯酋长 希望进入你的帐棚
Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent.
我来带你前往热情的沙漠
I have come to carry you off to the burning desert,
在热带星空下与你缠绵
and work my greasy will upon you under the tropical stars.
让你的骆驼上♥床♥
Send your camel to bed, damn it!
我的酋长 是不是你已将
My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated
限制的胡须刮掉了
that moustache of the Prophet?
我会修剪一下
I'll trim it.
亲爱的
Darling,
我即将展开非常危险的任务
I am embarking on a very dangerous escapade
或许不会回来
from which I may not well return.
通常在这种情况下...
And it is customary in these situations for, you know,
你应该好好送别一下
a proper send-off.
来场快速的激♥情♥交流
Quick session of congress.
鱼水之欢
Sink the Bismarck, if you will.
对了 我是不是提过
And by the way, did I mention
事关国♥家♥安♥全♥
it is a matter of national security.
我也很为难
It's very difficult for me as well, you know,
你的胡须很碍事
this thing that's come between us.
我知道 亲爱的
I know, darling.
不 站住
No, no. Steady yourself.
亲爱的 我求你
I beg you, darling, please.
有人作呕我就跟着想吐
You know I have a sympathetic gag reflex.
天啊 真受不了
Oh, God. It's unbearable.
你会习惯的 我保证
You will get used to it. I promise.
我何必习惯
Why should I have to?
我投入了那么多精力
I'm invested in it.
为何你不能投入精力 让我们摆脱财务危机
Why can't you invest in saving us from financial ruin?
还是你要我帮你解决
Or do you want me to sort it out for you?
当然不用 你不必担心
Heavens, no. You needn't worry yourself.
情况在我的掌控之中
I have things firmly in hand.
老婆 你害我也快吐了
My love, you are killing me. Please.
你脸上好像长了一个阴♥道♥
It looked like you have a vagina on your face.
你是说胡须看起来像阴毛
Surely you mean the pubic hair above a vagina.
我就是摆脱不了那个画面
I simply cannot get my head around that image.
查理
Oh, Charlie...
不过
However,
既然你提起
now that you've mentioned it,
我已经忍♥不住了
I'm unable to steer my mind away from it.
拿那鬼东西去塞床垫吧
Go stuff a mattress with that thing!
我是说胡须
The moustache, I mean.
乔克
Jockie,
如果这不只是小口角呢
what if it isn'tjust a tiff?
如果是压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草呢
What if this is the well-known "it," as it were?
那就太惨了
That'd be awful.
乔克
Jock?
你要回床上来吗
Are you coming back to bed?
好 等一下
Yeah, give us a minute, love.
嗨
Hi.
你好
Hello.
找一个人睡
And myself sleeping alone.
你想我作何感想
How do you think this makes me feel, man?
不知道 老爷
I dunno, sir.
管他的 我心意已决
Dash it all, I am resolved.
既然我们缺钱 那笔钱非赚不可
If it is money we need, then it is money we shall have.
乔克
Jock?
在叫我
That's me.
明天把劳斯莱斯卖♥♥给那个
Tomorrow we shall sell off the Rolls
粗俗的美♥国♥佬♥ 米尔顿·克兰福
to that vulgar American, Milton Krampf,
然后想办法找到那幅画
and we will find that painting if it is the last thing we do.
没错 我早上打给史宾诺沙
Right-y-oh. I'll call Spinoza in the morning.
-好 -晚安 老爷
-Yes, do. -Good night, sir.
乔克
Jock?
什么事 老爷
Yes, sir?
你想我们能床头吵床尾和吗
Do you think it will be all right in the end?
很难说 老爷
I couldn't say, sir.
我的第一站是见格雷厄姆·阿切尔爵士
My first stop was to see Sir Graham Archer,
我同行的艺品商 也是戈雅专家