史前巨鳄（1999）

I'm not mushing it.
别那么用力 太软了
You might mush it. It's a little soft.
拜托 我才没有用力
For Christ's sake, I'm not mushing it!
老天爷
Oh, God.
好
Ok.
我受够了
That is it! That is it!
不 不 我碰到头了
No, no, I keep getting hit with heads!
冷静点 好吗?
Try to calm down.
你才冷静点
You calm down!
冷静点 深呼吸
Calm down, ok? Just keep breathing.
我很冷静 我很镇定
I'm being very calm! I am composed!
这是我第二次被断头打到
This is the second time I've been hit with a severed head,and it upsets me!
搞什么...
What the hell?
我只想回帐篷去
I just want to go back to my tent now.
可以回去吗?
Can we please go back?
别开玩笑
You gotta be kidding.
我没开玩笑
I'm not kidding!
你看
Look.
# The itsy-bitsy spider #
# Crawled up the water spout #
我的天
# Down comes the rain #
# To wash the spider out? #
她在干嘛
What is she doing?
# Dum de dum de dum #
噢
Oh.
什么?
What?
注意看水边十尺处
Look 10 feet into the water.
快来吃哟
Come and get it!
哇
Wow.
令人作呕
Disgusting.
我又没有犯法
I haven't broken any laws.
你有犯法
Oh, but you have, ma'am.
你欺骗警♥察♥
You lied to us.
那是妨碍公务
That can be obstruction of justice.
你害一个人被咬死
A man has been killed, in part because of your silence.
我可以告你蓄意危害他人
I could make out a charge of reckless endangerment.
你拿牛去喂鳄鱼也是不对的
And I'm sure PETA would be annoyed at how you treat your cows.
我要是老实说你就会去猎杀它
The reason I lied, if I told you the truth, you'd hunt it down and kill it,
这不就是你所要做的吗
which seems to be exactly what you're trying to do.
你喂这只巨鳄有多久了
How long have you been feeding this thing?
六年了
6 years.
六年?
6 years?
柏尼去钓鱼 它就跟着回来
Well, Bernie was out fishing, and it followed him home.
我们拿东西喂它 它又没害人
So we threw it some scraps, and, well, he didn't seem to bother anybody.
它就像是野生的宠物
He became kind of like a pet who lives in the wild.
他就这么出现了?
He just appeared?
你不知道它是怎么来的
You have no idea how he arrived here?
不知道 你知道吗
No. Do you?
你不是把柏尼推去喂鳄鱼吧
Your husband Bernie, you didn't, by any chance, lead him to the lake blindfolded?
你再乱讲我就要你好看
If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it.
你先生是被巨鳄吃掉吗
Did the crocodile kill your husband?
是 不过那是个错误
Yes, but it was all...it was a mistake.
错误?
A mistake?
两年前一匹马挣脱缰绳
One of our horses got loose 2 years ago.
跑去湖边喝水
Went to the lake to drink,
巨鳄想吃它 柏尼去拦它
and the crocodile started coming in, and Bernie went to intercede, and--
要是我报♥警♥它一定没命
if I'd reported it, they'd have sent people to kill it.
你怎么能不报♥警♥?
Ma'am, how could you not report this?
这会害死人
It puts human life at risk.
湖边没人烟
Nobody lives on this lake.
这是它的湖
It's really his lake now.
我知道你疯了 不过别下去
Come on, Hector. I know you're crazy, but you can't do this.
我得看看它的鳄窝
I need to see his habitat up close, Deputy Gare.
看"动物奇观"嘛
Then watch Nova, ok?
别下水
But don't go in the water.
求求你
Please.
我跟你上♥床♥
I'll have sex with you.
快走吧
Let's just get out of here.
亲爱的
Darling,
它不会伤害我的
he's not gonna hurt me.
别去
Don't.
赫克托
Hector!
犯罪率这么高 飞机老是失事
Murders and rapes in the cities. People bomb planes.
警♥察♥也没办法
Can the police stop them? No.
我只是用小牛喂一只鳄鱼
But feed one little cow to a crocodile--
你被软禁了 乖乖等警♥察♥来
You stay right here until the police show. You're under full house arrest.
谢了...
Thank you...
蠢警长
Officer Fuckmeat.
警长 赫克托有麻烦
Sheriff, we gotta problem with Hector.
什么麻烦
What problem?
他潜下去了
He went swimming.
收到
Check.
我突然觉得自己很蠢
Suddenly I feel a bit foolish here.
你跟别的鳄鱼不同
You're different from the others.
我的天
Holy Spirit of Sobek.
我的妈呀
Holy Ghost.
他妈的
Holy shit.
赫克托
Hector!
赶快启动引擎
Just turn the ignition.
很容易
It's fuel injected.
快点
Come on!
我知道咬断我的头很爽
I know that under the circumstances, biting my head off might seem viable.
不过你没这么贱吧
It would cheapen you.
我用枪打它
I may get a shot!
不行
No!
子弹打不♥穿♥它
Bullets might not penetrate its hide.
天啊 加油 再游过来一点
Oh, Jesus. All right, just a little further.
就像这样
Just like that.
快走
Move over!
快走
Go!
- 快飞 - 我正在试
- "Go! - I'm trying.
天啊
Ahh! Jesus!
鳄鱼先生 你这次太过份
That's your last little stunt, Mr. Crocodile.
你被禁足了
You're grounded.
这些可是精密的装备
This is some very delicate equipment that you're throwing around.
我不管 你想自杀 是吗
I don't care. You trying to kill yourself?.
你想去见你老伴 对吗
You want to meet your maker, is that it?
你想跟鱼神游泳是你家的事
You might think they're godly,you might get some spiritual lift out of backstroking with dragons,
不过你差点害死一名警员
but you just put a deputy at risk out there, sir.
可是它没把我吃掉
Let's not overlook the fact that he didn't eat me.
因为它刚吃了一头牛
'Cause he just ate a cow, stupid.
我是平民 不是赙鱼
I'm a civilian. I'm not a trout.
你根本管不着我
You have no authority over me whatsoever.
我可以逮捕你
Hey, hey, I can arrest you.
那就动手呀
Well, then do it.
你伤了他的自尊心
You hurt his feelings.
我不在乎 你在乎吗
I don't care. Do you care?
不在乎 他是个混球
No. He's an asshole.
你想被它吃掉吗
Did you want to be killed by it?
你真以为我疯了吗?
You think I'm that nuts?
赫克托
Hector.
你这种行为等于是自杀
What you just did, there had to be at least some sort of a death wish going on.
在古美拉尼西亚
In ancient Melanesia,
嫌犯都被丢进鳄鱼池
people suspected of crimes would be thrown to the crocodiles.
鳄鱼们会判定什么人有罪
Crocodiles would decide. They would be the judge.
你想受到审判吗
Oh, and so that was you wanting to be judged out there?
也许吧 又怎样
Maybe I was, and so what?
很没道理吗?
Is that too arbitrary?
总比当个有钱人好吧
Better to be measured by my wealth?
总比被别人讨着要钱好吧
Better for me to get my self-esteem looking in the eyes of cheap sycophants craving a meal ticket?
鱼龙眼里有诚实
There was more honesty in those dragon's eyes.
鱼龙眼里有尊严
There was more dignity in those dragon's eyes.
老天爷 废话少说