海蜇

我放学了就给中介送过去
Uh, I'll give it to the agency after school.
但是 你不能翘班呀
Thing is, you can't be skippin' off work.
尤其不能在他们刚给你晋升的情况下
Not after they, you know, given you that big advance.
那我就明天去送房♥租
Um, I'll do it tomorrow, then.
为什么不让我去呢 我都已经出来了
Why don't you let me do it? 'Cause I'm out and about now.
妈妈 我
Mom, I...
不 听我说 我知道
No, listen. I know.
我知道我最近情绪有点起伏
I know that I've been a bit up and down lately.
但今天真的是个好日子
But today's a really good day,
我只是 我只是想帮点忙
and I just... I just want to be of some help.
拜托了
Come on.
给我个机会证明自己不是个废物吧
Let me be more than a speed bump.
好吧
All right.
乖女儿
Good girl.
来抱抱
Come here, you.
爱你
I love ya.
好了 你们俩 该去上学了
Right, come on, you. Off to school.
最好先把薯条吃了
Better eat them chips up.
我们能快点吗
Can we just hurry up?
在舞台中♥央♥
...efforts to lose the card
制♥造♥牌丢了的假象
at about the middle of the deck.
但是你总能快速地让它
You should find that it always makes its way straight back...
回到顶上
to the top.
真不错 汤米 真的很好
That's good Tommy, really great.
矩阵在召唤
And The Matrix called.
基努·里维斯想把黑外套要回去了
Keanu Reeves wants his coat back.
好吧
Okay.
好了
All right.
下一位
Next.
艾玛
Emma!
稍等 艾玛
Uh, one second, Emma.
怎么了
And?
我来了
Now I'm here.
为什么来
Why?
带装彩排
Dress rehearsal.
不对
Oh, wrong.
如果你来参加带装彩排
If you were here for the dress rehearsal,
就应该9点钟到的
you'd have been here at nine o'clock
跟其他人一样
like everyone else.
而不是中午才来
Instead of which you show up at midday.
你已经被踢出才艺演出了
And you're out of the showcase.
可是我照你说的做了
But I did what you asked.
看
Look.
我写内容了
I made a routine.
这跟内容没关系
This isn't about your routine.
重点是你有没有表现出尊重
This is about showing some respect.
求你了 黑尔老师
Come on, Mr. Hale.
我带了内容来的
I've got some material here.
我觉得你会感兴趣的
I think it's really gonna interest you.
你迟到了三个小时
You show up three hours late,
打断了你同学在皇家剧院
disrupt your classmates' last rehearsal
正式演出前的最后一次彩排
before they get out on that Theatre Royal stage,
然后还觉得自己能继续参加
and you still expect to go on?
你已经清楚表明了你心里什么更重要
You've shown quite clearly where your priorities lie.
你觉得弗兰奇·博伊勒
Do you think Frankie Boyle
会像你一样前一天去主题公园玩
tits about at a theme park all day
然后第二天登台获得满堂彩吗
before getting out on that stage and killing it like that?
不 因为他是个匠人
No, because he's a craftsman.
他把自己的愤怒 挫折
He channels his anger, his frustration,
脆弱无助 全都揉进他的喜剧里了
his vulnerability, and works them into his comedy.
工作 萨拉
Work, Sarah.
奉献
Dedication.
但你不是个努力做事的人 不是吗
But you're not a worker, are you?
我比达伦·布朗
I know more about work
更了解工作
than Derren Brown-finger up there.
英国心灵主义者 魔术师 作家
你♥他♥妈♥管这叫工作
Call this fucking work?
陪这群毫无天赋的呆子一起排练
Titting around on stage with this bunch of no-talent fuck buckets.
告诉他们只要他们的愿望足够强烈
Telling them that they could go far
就可以达到心中的目标
if they just wished hard enough.
你以为你那愚蠢的才艺演出
You think your stupid showcase
可以让我们去世界各地演出吗
is gonna send us around the world?
真是笑话
It's a joke.
这里是马盖特 老天
This is Margate for fuck's sake.
唯一关心这破烂演出的人 就是你
The only person this shit matters to, is you.
你老了 被困在这里
And you're old, and you're stuck here.
你只剩我们了 真是他妈的悲剧
All you have is us, and it is fuckin' tragic.
有什么不对吗 萨拉
Is something wrong, Sarah?
没有
No.
一切都他妈的很好
Everything's just fuckin' fine.
Emma
Um, Emma.
所有人 休息五分钟
All of you. Five minutes.
操
Fuck it.
你以为你♥他♥妈♥的是西蒙·考威尔
Think you're Simon fucking Cowell?
《美国偶像》毒舌评委
去你♥妈♥的♥混♥蛋♥
Fucking wanker.
萨拉
Sarah?
萨拉
Sarah.
老天
For fuck's sake.
快上来吧 我们该走了
Well, come on, then. Let's go.
我们不停一下吗
Aren't we stopping?
空间
...space.
显然这里会发生些事情
There were obviously things that were going to take place.
那有多少这样的海报
So how many of these posters?
你都寄出去了吗
Have you mailed out?
我们 我们还没有都寄出去
Ooh, we've... you know, we haven't mailed them out.
孩子们 今天过得怎么样
Are you all right, kids? How was your day?
你们想看这些小丑吗
You wanna see the bunch of jokers
他们上电视了
they've got on this show.
外面的车是谁的
Whose van is that outside?
是我们的 我今天刚开来的
Oh, that's ours. I got it today.
这家伙几乎算是送给我的
This bloke was practically giving it away.
很酷 不是吗
It's cool, innit?
我们有车了
We got a van?
是的 我们有车了 不是吗
Yeah. We got a van, in't we?
现在我们想去哪儿都可以了
Now we can go away wherever we want.
知道吗 就像正常家庭那样
You know? Like a proper family.
拜托
Please.
求你告诉我付过房♥租了
Please tell me you paid the rent.
放松点
Ah, lighten up.
我的天啊
Jesus Christ.
你这人怎么这么扫兴
Stop being such a Buzz Killington.
你♥他♥妈♥的买♥♥了辆车
You bought a fucking van!
是为我们大家买♥♥的
I bought it for us.
你连驾照都没有了
You haven't even got a license anymore.
我还记得怎么开车
I still remember how to drive.
我打算开车送你们上学不好吗
I'm gonna drive youse all to school, innit?
就只有两个座位
It's only got two seats.
没关系 后备箱很大
It doesn't matter. It's got a big boot.
怎样 大到当我们的房♥子被收回时
What, big enough for us to move into
可以搬到里面去住吗
when they repossess our house?
你为什么要这样
Why have you gotta do this?
你为什么要破坏所有事
Why do you have to spoil everything?
你没看见孩子们有多开心吗
Can't you see how happy the babies are?
你总是这样
It's so fucking typical of you.
为什呢
Why?
车从哪儿买♥♥的
Where did it come from?
求你把车退了 妈妈
You need to take it back, Mom, please.
你怎么这么讨人厌呢
Why are you such a drag?
从你出生开始 你♥他♥妈♥的就是一个讨厌鬼
Ever since you were born, you been a fucking drag.
你♥他♥妈♥的总是阻止我做我想做的事情
You been fucking stopping me doing what I wanna do.