科学小怪蛋（2008）

You're not wearing any you know pants.
嗯?
Hmm?
是 我没穿
Oh no I'm not.
我在想 为何隐形人需要穿裤子呢?
I figure why does an invisible man need to wear pants?
对我来说是一种解放 殿下
It's very liberating Your Highness.
殿下 那些乌云
Sire the clouds
是凶还是吉?
were they a blessing or a curse?
当然 我从不会希望 乌云笼罩在我人♥民♥头上
Well of course I would never wish the clouds on my people.
我们重整旗鼓为了共同的利益
But we rallied together for the common good
而信奉邪恶 看看我们现在吧!
by embracing evil and look at us now!
受尊重的 成功的
Respected successful.
你在干什么?
What are you doing?
挠我隐形的...
Scratching my invisible...
回到我的第二个问题上 阁下
But getting back to my next question sire.
邪恶科学节还有两天就要开幕了
The Evil Science Fair is two days away.
做个预测吧? 能有谁打败沙登弗里德博士吗?
Any predictions? Can anyone beat Dr. Schadenfreude?
我不喜欢做预测
Well I hate to predict.
我是说 邪恶科学家们都是
I mean all the Evil Scientists are
由自身资格获得的扭曲的魔王头衔
twisted fiends in their own right.
也就是说 今年也许会有个天才
That said there may be a genius this year
带着革命性的邪恶造物
with an Evil Invention so revolutionary
最终将沙登弗里德拉下马
that Schadenfreude might finally get knocked off his perch!
最终被拉下马的人只能是你
The only one getting knocked off his perch is you!
该死 我需要那个怪物!
Damn it I need that monster!
我不会被一个驼背的 大腹便便的
I will not be beaten
凸眼的矮子打败的
by a hunchbacked pot-bellied bulgy-eyed runt.
我觉得他有些可爱的 天才是有魅力的
I think he's kind of cute. Talent is attractive.
我现在能构想出伊戈尔和他的怪物
I can just picture Igor and his monster now
测出他们的致命战斗动机
plotting their deadly combat maneuvers.
伙伴们 能过来一下么?
Guys can you come in here?
我想和你们谈谈
I need to talk to you.
如果她有女性问题 就由你解答
If she's having a woman problem it's all yours.
噔噔!
Ta-da!
这是什么?
What are these?
首场演出的礼物
Opening night presents.
我知道明天的表演只是试镜
I know it's technically just an audition tomorrow
但我说管他呢
but I figured "What the hey?"
礼物不贵 我是用手边的材料做的
They're not much since I had to use stuff I found around here
好了...先给你 布莱恩!
but well... You first Brain!
一个信封! 你会把我宠坏的 小姐
An envelope! You spoil me rotten lady.
还是打开看看吧
I think we better open it.
是你头上的新标签
It's a new label for your jar.
布莱恩没拼错!
And Brain is spelled right!
没拼错 对吧?
It is right?
你不应该担心标签的问题
You shouldn't really worry about labels though
你虽说是大脑 但也是有心的
because you may be a brain but you have heart.
有的时候 心比较重要
And in some ways that's more important.
心? 我更想要双脚
Heart? I'd kill for a pair of feet.
打开你的吧 斯坎普 这是史前万年青
Open yours Scamper. It s a prehistoric evergreen.
它们永不凋零 我是想说
They live forever. I just want to make sure
万一我们三个发生了什么事
that if anything ever happens to the three of us
你还有个伴
you always have company.
好极了 我一定对它过敏
Great. I must be allergic to it.
但愿它有恐龙时代的毒素 然后能杀死我
With any luck it'll kill me with its dinosaur-era toxins.
现在能看看伊戈尔的礼物吗?
Can we move on to Igor now?
以前没人送我礼物
No one's ever given me a gift before.
这是导演不可缺少的东西
It's something no director can be without.
贝雷帽!
A beret!
看哪!
Voil?
法国名言
That's French for
"别向我和我可笑的帽子扔石头"
"Please stop pelting me and my ridiculous hat with rocks."
伊戈尔 我们送给伊娃的礼物呢?
Hey Igor where's our gift for Eva?
什么礼物?
Our gift?
哦 不是吧
Oh! You guys didn't.
我们已经准备了
We did.
你放在哪里啦 伊戈尔?
Where'd you put it Igor?
在别的房♥间
It s in the other room.
礼物...礼物...
Gift gift gift gift.
伊娃 我们送你这个
Eva. Well we got you this.
项链一条
It's a necklace.
这是我见过最漂亮的东西!
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!
伊戈尔 能帮我...
Igor can you...
我可以自己来 但我笨手笨脚的
I would do it myself but I am all thumbs.
是啊 对不起 你的手都是用便宜货做的
Yeah I'm sorry about that. I got the thumbs on sale.
我要永远戴着它
I'm never gonna take this off.
这样你们的心就能 和我永远紧紧相依
That way all of you will be close to my heart forever.
我要把刚才的事写进日记中!
I need to go write this down in my sense-memory journal!
我的荧光笔呢?
Oh where did I put my glitter pen?
看吧 这对一个不该成为 邪恶科学家的人来说
See this is the kind of moment that'd be tough
是多么难熬的时刻
for someone who wasn't meant to be an Evil Scientist.
一般人会心软 然后告诉她真♥相♥
Somebody who'd go all soft and want to tell her the truth.
但很走运 我是邪恶发明家 对吗?
But lucky for us I'm evil right?
是啊 我们真幸运
Yeah. Lucky us.
我不觉得幸运
I don't feel lucky.
要冷静 因为我们就快成功了
So we stay on track cause we're almost there
我现在要做的 就是不要去想她
and I just don't let her get into my head.
做一个小驼背可真不容易呢
It s so hard being a little hunchback.
海迪!
Heidi!
格里斯丁博士在睡觉 我是说 他身体不适
Dr. Glickenstein is under the rug. I mean under the weather.
我不是来找他的
I didn't come to see him.
我是来找你的
I came to see you.
我?
Me?
今天有一个伊戈尔来
By the way an Igor came by today
让我把这个亲手交给你
and asked me to hands-deliver this to you.
我就亲自过来了
And these are my hands.
什么? 这是什么?
What? What is it?
我也不知道
Ja I haven't any idea.
"希望你别在那儿"
"Wish You Weren't There. "
好极了 非常好
Oh excellent wonderful.
你收到我的卡片了
You got my card.
发生什么事了吗?
Is everything okay?
我听到了奇怪的声音
I heard a strange noise.
哈?
Ooh!
我不是故意在门里 偷听你和伊戈尔的对话
Oh I wasn't at the door listening to you and Igor.
我只是...
I just...
你好! 初次见面 我是伊娃
Hi! We haven't met. I'm Eva.
你生气了吧?
Oh you're upset aren't you?
在想"这个和伊戈尔住一起的 陌生女人是谁" 对吧?
"Who is this strange woman living with Igor " right?
相信我 伊戈尔和我只是朋友
Well believe me Igor and I are just friends.
身为他女朋友的你 完全不必担心
As his girlfriend you have nothing to worry about.
我不是他女朋友
I'm not his girlfriend.
你不是?
You're not?
但他看你的眼神...
But the way he looks at you...
他从没那样看过我
He never looks at me that way.
也许某些男人
Maybe some men like girls
不喜欢女生长得像只废弃物
who don't look like they've been put together at the junkyard.
也对
Right.
你长得真难看
You have a very ugly face.
我要养精蓄锐准备明天的试镜
Well I have to go get some rest for my audit on tomorrow.
见到你真高兴
It was nice meeting you.
哦
Oh.
怎么搞的!
Whoops!
试镜?
Audit on?
你觉得这鸡尾酒怎么样 伊戈尔?
So how's your cocktail Igor?
好喝吗? 喜欢吗?
Is it nice? You like t?
椰子好喝吗? 椰汁够多吗?
Is it coconut-ty? Coconut-ty enough?
等等! 你啜饮的样子应该有型点!
Wait! You should be sipping in style!
伊戈尔 另类吸管! 马上拿来
Igor Krazy Straw! Right now.
像个小喇叭 好多了吧? 喝起来好多了吧?
Small trumpet. Isn't that better? Doesn't that taste better?
抱歉先生 为什么...
Excuse me sir but why...
为什么叫我来这?