科学小怪蛋（2008）

And I'm not.
我想欢迎各位参加我每年一度的邪恶科学节预热派对
But I want to welcome you all to my annual pre-Evil Science Fair party.
我的女朋友洁盈
My girlfriend Jaclyn.
你知道 她也许看起来像
You know she may seem like
很肤浅 很阴险的卑鄙小人...
a shallow conniving wretch...
就这些词了 差不多足以形容她了
That's all I got. That pretty much sums her up.
向17次邪恶科学节不败的获奖者
A toast to the undefeated winner of 17 Evil Science Fairs
世界上最伟大的邪恶天才致敬
and the greatest Evil Genius in the world.
向国王鞠躬!
Bow for the King!
"世界上最伟大的邪恶天才"
"The greatest Evil Genius in the world. "
我记得以前人们是这么称呼我的
I remember when people used to call me that.
在乌云毁了我们的农民的乐土时
Back when the clouds destroyed our peaceful land of farmers
我的计划是勒索全世界拯救我们
and my plan to blackmail the world saved us all
对 正如你说了一遍又一遍
Yes as you've told us all over and over and over.
对 嗯 还有
Yeah well here's more.
你知道很多年前 Schoddy家的姓是Poekelmacher?
Did you know that years ago Schoddy's family name was Poekelmacher?
他的家庭是做腌菜的
His family were pickle-makers.
博士 你今年的邪恶发明是净食还是时萝啊?
So what's your Evil Invention this year Doctor kosher or dill?
真想用腌菜灭了那个鸟不生蛋的地方
I want to shove a pickle right where the sun don't shine.
你说瘴气王国吗 主人?
You mean Malaria Master?
不管我赢了多少届邪恶科学节
No matter how many Evil Science Fairs I win
我总是要向那个白♥痴♥鞠躬
I always have to bow down to that idiot.
我总是得不到他的尊重!
I will never get the respect he gets!
尊重? 尊重又换不来海狮靴子
Respect? Respect isn't gonna keep me in baby-seal boots.
你只需要一直赢下去
You just need to keep on winning
嗯 这是一个真正无用的吸血虫说的话
Well that is spoken like a true worthless leech
顺便问问 是谁啊 还没有帮我偷到今年的获奖发明
who by the way still has not helped me steal this year's winning invention.
你知道 要是你是个真正的科学家
You know maybe if you were a real scientist
你就不需要我每年帮你说谎
you wouldn't need me to help you cheat every year.
你整个实验室都是假的
Your whole lab is fake
和你一样
just like you.
也许我应该把你扔回到 我发现你的贫民区!
And maybe I should throw you back in the gutter where I found you!
你就会说 Schadenfraude博士!
You're one to talk Dr. Schadenfraude!
你才没有那个胆量
You don't have the guts.
爸爸还在生我的气吗?
Is Daddy still mad at me?
不
No.
但是你和你的朋友海迪
But you and your friend Heidi
还有点事情要做
still have a little job to do.
噢 我们在努力
Oh we're trying.
嗯 那么更努力一点!
Well try a little bit harder!
因为今年
Because this year
我不会只是赢下邪恶科学节
I won't stop at just winning the Evil Science Fair.
我还准备放出我的获奖发明
I'm gonna unleash my winning invention
给那自以为是的国王看看
on the King's smug little face
然后就轮到他对我卑躬屈膝了!
and then he'll be the one groveling at my feet!
嗨 你好
Hi there.
瞧 是你的女朋友 海迪
Look it's your little girlfriend Heidi.
你应该喝杯可可 休息一下
You take a cocoa break
我会帮你守卫着你的新发明
and I'll guard your plans for your new invention.
不 等一下!你会溅湿我的计划的
No wait! You'll spill on my plans.
海迪 你不够小心!
Heidi you're not careful enough!
有时候你太粗心了
You're so sloppy sometimes.
噢 普斯金
Oh poopshkin.
我去了趟邪恶书店 给你带了张激发灵感的海报
I went to the evil bookstore and got you an inspirational poster.
是只小猫咪!
It's a little kitten!
提醒你每天留点时间折磨它
To remind you to always take time in your day for a little torture.
我的变换器!
My transducer!
是时候走了 我没时间喝可可看小猫!
Time to go. I have no time for cocoa or kittens!
我得独自秘密的处理我的计划
I have to work on my plans alone and in secret.
换句话说 一路平安(法语)
In other words bon voyage.
谁不喜欢折磨小猫?
Who doesn't like tortured kittens?
我...我喜欢小猫
I... I like kittens.
我不喜欢肮脏的驼背小乖乖
I don't like dirty little hunchpeople.
太好了 沙登弗里德会杀了我的
Great Schadenfreude's gonna kil me.
为什么有两个转换器?
And why are there two transducers?
主人 我想210亿瓦的应该比较安全
Master the 21-gigawatt might be somewhat safer I think.
想? 伊戈尔是不会思考的
Think? Igors don't think.
我要用160亿瓦的 你这个笨蛋!
I'm using the 16-gigawatt you fool!
现在滚过去 拉电闸!
Now get over there and pull the switch!
你在等什么?
What are you waiting for?
是的 主人!
Yes Master!
就是这样!就是这样!
Yes! Yes!
就是这样!
Yes!
我都说过160亿瓦能行的 你这个伊戈尔
I told you the 16 would work you Igor.
看着我的火箭舰船!
Behold my rocket ship!
为穿流于世界而生
Born to stream through the world
向每个人释放痛苦和烦恼
unleashing pain and misery on everyone.
我以你的名字来命名它 妈妈
I named her after you Mother.
现在时候把老牛放进去测试一下
Now to take the old cow for a test drive.
不 主人! 这个火箭要...
No Master! The rocket is going to...
呃...就是这样
Uh... Yeah that.
终于死了
Finally.
现在我可以把门厅的小毛毯扔了 那玩意丑的要死
Now I can throw out that rug in the foyer. That thing is hideous.
我们都这么想的 只是我说了出来
We were all thinking it. I just said it.
噢 不 那是谁? 我要怎么办?
Oh no who's that? What am I gonna do?
放轻松点 这是格里斯丁的城♥堡♥
Relax this is Glickenstein's castle.
他不需要给任何人开门
And he doesn't have to open that door for anyone.
给大王开门!
Open for the King!
除了大王 噢 我的天! 噢 我的天!
Except for the King. Oh my God! Oh my God!
他是来见格里斯丁的! 我该和他说什么?
He's here to see Glickenstein! What do I tell him?
告诉他真♥相♥呀 要是他要杀了我们
Tell him the truth. And if he kills us
我可以回来 给你扮个豪华的葬礼
I'll come back and give you a beautiful funeral.
对 对 真♥相♥ 这是个不错的选择 对 对
Right right. The truth that's a good option. Right right.
格里奇! 格里奇 我的孩子
Glicky! Glicky my boy.
格里奇在哪里?
Where's Glicky?
陛下 他走了
Your Highness he's gone.
糟透了 我要看他的发明
Curse it I need to see his invention.
沙登弗里德变得太受欢迎了
Schadenfreude is getting too popular.
人们也许会让他当国王的
The people might make him king.
今年一定得有个人击败他
Someone has to beat him this year
用一个比他的更邪恶的发明
with an invention more evil than his.
一个可以攫取沙登弗里德的桂冠的人
Someone who can snatch Schadenfreude's number one position
恨恨地让他在第二名丢脸!
and rub his face in number two!
呃...
Ew...
陛下 格里斯丁博士...
Your Highness Dr. Glickenstein is...
在创造生命!
creating life!
你说"生命"?
Did you say "life"?
是的
Yes.
想想看 会呼吸的生命 可以随心所欲地毁灭一切
Thinking breathing life that can destroy freely all on its own.
没有任何邪恶科学家能够创造生命
No Evil Scientist has ever been able to create life
噢 当然他们变异生物
Oh sure they've mutated life.
他们终结生命
They've ended life.
他们把生命炸成几百万个碎片
They've blasted life into a million gooey pieces.
但是创造生命?
But created life?
这样的一个武器 简直是史上最伟大的邪恶发明
A weapon like that would be the greatest Evil Invention of all time.
那么它的发明者就是 史上最好的邪恶科学家?
And its inventor the greatest Evil Scientist of all time?
当然了! 这就是我所期待的
Of course! This is what I've been waiting for.
你的工作就是 保证格里斯丁顺利安全
And it's your job to make sure nothing happens to Glickenstein
否则我就把你扔回收槽
or I'll throw you down the recycling chute
把你的肉瘤做成防撞块!
and use your hunch as a speed bump!
噢 大好事啊 沙登弗里德的连胜就要终结了
Oh this is big. Schadenfreude's winning streak is over.
来吧 孩子们! 给他们点颜色瞧瞧
Come on boys! Let's go kick some old people.
噢! 你造♥反♥啊?
Ow! What is wrong with you?
你那是去送死 这可是我的活
That's for having a death wish. That's my thing.
我不会死的 斯坎普
I am not gonna die Scamper.
人生中的头一回
For the first time ever
我要真真正正地活一次!
I'm gonna live!
我有时候会下来这里思考
I sometimes come down here to think.
噢 这多么有趣
Wow how interesting.
接下来呢? 你要拿个吉他出来
What's next? You're gonna pull out a guitar
然后弹奏一首你大学时代创作的 关于被误解的歌♥吗?