古宅老友记：2023圣诞特别集（2023）

And you can stop right there, Thorne!
你别去烦艾莉森了，她忙的很
You leave Alison alone, she's very busy.
对她有好处，这不关我的事
Good for her, it's no business of mine.
- 什么? - 我不是家庭破坏者
- What? - I'm no home-wrecker.
我和艾莉森之间都结束了，我已经放下向前看了
It's over between me and Alison, I've moved on.
哦，真的吗?
Oh, really?
- 什么，你有新欢了吗? - 对! - 谁啊?
- What, to someone new? - Yes! - Who?
我就告诉你是谁吧
And I'll tell you who.
一个叫詹妮弗·安妮斯顿的女士
A certain Ms Jennifer Aniston.
- 《老友记》里的瑞秋吗? - 还有更多呢
- Rachel from Friends? - And so much more.
詹妮还是个艺术家，一个偶像
Jen is an artist, an icon
她是一位强大的女商人，
and a powerful businesswoman,
所以是的，我想我确实爱她，非常感谢
so, yes, I think I do love her, thank you very much.
呃，所以我想是风吹进来了……
So, erm, so I'm thinking that the breeze just blew in...
- 窗户是关着的，艾莉森 - 是，但是……嗯…
- The window was closed, Alison. - No, but... Well...
因为窗框都太旧了，所以风还是会吹进来的
The draft can still get in because it's the old window frames.
因为我们负担不起替换它们的费用
Like, we can't afford to replace them,
所以风还是会进来
so the wind still gets in.
你看到了吗?
There, you see?
喔哇 !
Waaaa!
喔喂哇 !
Wooowaaa!
嗯
Hmm.
你在这 嗯?
There you are. Huh?
感觉到圣诞节气氛了吗?
Feeling Christmassy yet?
- 没有 - 太棒了! 因为我有个好主意
- No. - Great! Because I've got an idea.
音乐
Music.
这总是让我在圣诞节感到兴奋
That's what always gives me a Christmas tingle.
这几位都是唱圣诞颂歌♥的歌♥唱家
麦卡特尼，维扎德，平·克劳斯贝
McCartney, Wizzard, Bing for the nanas.
带上你的香蕉?
Bring your bananas?
圣诞颂歌♥集锦! 一定有你最喜欢的吧?
Christmas hits! You must have a favourite?
这是一栋老房♥子。
It's an old house.
电路也不好
Dodgy electrics.
- 漏风的窗户 - 但是…
- Draughty windows. - But...
你不用担心米娅，妈，我们没事
You don't need to worry about Mia, Mum. We're all good.
哦，我的天哪！
Oh, good lord!
那...是立体声音响
That...is the stereo.
我们出去的时候，我把音响设了定时器
Erm, I put the stereo on a timer when we go out
这样听起来就像家里有人一样
so it sounds like we're in.
- 但你自从米娅出生后你就没出去过 - 是的，我……
- But you've not gone out since Mia was born. - Yeah, I...
我之前在那里打扫卫生，我一定是不小心动了定时器
I was cleaning there earlier, and I must have turned the dial.
愚蠢的爸爸!
Silly Daddy!
♪ 所以它在这里…♪
♪ So here it is...♪
嗯? 嗯?
Huh? Huh?
耶，我喜欢这首歌♥
Yeah, I like the song.
也喜欢看你跳舞
And I love the dance.
我只是觉得不太……
I just don't feel very...
关掉！快关掉它！关了！关了！
Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down!
哦，耶，关了!
Oh, yeah. Down!
我还是去把它关了，因为我好像设定为一个小时了
I should turn that off, because it's set to last an hour.
真的是这样吗? 嗯
Or was it? Hmm.
- 我能看出来你在撒谎，迈克尔 - 我没有撒谎啊
- I can tell when you're lying, Michael. - I'm not lying.
对不起，艾莉森
Sorry, Alison.
我和他们说的一样
What they said.
贝蒂，如果就算是…真有个捣蛋鬼什么的
Betty, if it was a... poltergeist or whatever,
你会觉得他们会做出比玩音响更糟糕的事
you'd think it would do worse than playing with the stereo.
嗯，也许事情就是这样开始的
Well, maybe that's how it starts.
好吧，听我说 OK……
OK, well, look. OK...
如果这个房♥间里真有什么东西…
If there is something in this room...
.．那就给我们点信♥号♥♥吧
..give us a sign.
看到了吗? 什么都……
See? There's...
什么都没有……哦!
There's nothing... Oh!
我的天啊！
Oh, my God!
我昨天装饰过房♥间
I was putting the decorations up yesterday,
我一定是没把它挂好！妈!
and I must have not put it on the hook properly! Mum!
- 刚才那是鬼吗? - 不是，是你
- Was that a ghost? - No, that was you.
妈!
Mum!
进展的可真好
So that went well.
- 我们要怎么说服… - 我不知道
- How are we gonna convince... - I don't know.
我太累了 无法思考
I'm too tired to even think.
- 我能睡觉了吗? - 当然
- Can I just sleep? - Of course, yeah.
太好了!
Yes!
- 贝蒂? - 谢谢你来得这么快，牧师
- Betty? - Thank you for coming so quickly, Reverend.
嗯，本来我也正要出去
Well, I was heading out anyway
把耶稣诞生布景从仓库里拿出来
to get the nativity display out of storage
而你听起来又很心烦意乱
and you sounded rather distraught,
- 所以我也不想让你这么担心 - 快进来
- so I didn't want to leave you in a state. - Come in.
我得说，这是一个非常不寻常的要求
I must say, it's a most unusual request.
- 我以前从来没有经历过 - 但你能做到吗?
- I've never been asked before. - But you can do it?
嗯，是的，这件事可以的
Well, yes, it is a thing.
只是，我以前认识的人从没被问过……
It's just, certainly no one I know has ever been asked...
神父?
Father?
晚上好，迈克尔
Good evening, Michael.
你来这里做什么?
What are you doing here?
他是来驱魔的
He's here to perform an exorcism.
嗯? 哦! 很好
Huh? Oh! Great.
我去拿祈祷书
I'll just get my prayer book.
鬼们! 如果你们能听到我
Ghosts! If you can hear me,
这里有个牧师要做驱魔
there's a vicar here to do an exorcism.
赶快离开! 我知道你无法走远，但是…
Get out! I know you can't leave, but...
我不知道！鬼鬼! 你们在吗?
I don't know! Ghosts! Are you there?
家里养的土鸡和大量的上等英国蔬菜……
Home-raised chicken and plenty of good British veg...
贝蒂把牧师带来了
Betty's brought the pastor.
意大利面吗? 这可不太有圣诞氛围
Pasta? Well, that's not very Christmassy.
不，不，不，是牧师！教区牧师!
No, no, no, the reverend! The vicar!
他是来驱魔的！
He's here to perform an exorcism!
我的天哪，我们该怎么办?
My goodness, what will we do?
也许没什么事吧
Maybe it's all right.
他们要驱的是恶魔，对吧?
It's demons that they're after, isn't it?
你知道，就是那些伤害活人的恶灵
You know, evil spirits who do harm to the living.
哦 上帝，哦 上帝，哦 上帝啊！
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
是啊，也许我们应该…
Yeah, maybe we should...
- 赶紧离开这里吧！- 快! 快点!
- Let's get out of here! Quick! - Come on!
等等! 汉弗莱在哪儿? 哦!
Wait! Where's Humphrey? Oh!
脑袋去哪里了！
The other bit!
如果这间房♥子里有鬼魂，不要躲起来
If there are any spirits here in this house, do not hide,
我们希望你们去倾听上帝的话语
we call on you to hear God's word.
汉弗莱! 汉弗莱! 汉弗莱!
Humphrey! Humphrey! Humphrey!
伙计们，我在下来！
Guys, down here!
在那里! 快! 快，快，快！
There! Quick! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
- 来吧 快点，托马斯! - 哦，谢天谢地。
- Come on. Quickly, Thomas! - Oh, thank goodness.
慈悲的主啊，我们为这个地方祈祷
Visit, Lord, we pray, this place,
使它远离敌人的圈套……
and drive far from it the snares of the enemy...
艾莉森! 艾莉森!
Alison! Alison!
- 怎么啦? 是米娅有事吗? - 不，她很好。
- What? Is it Mia? - No, she's fine.
是妈，她把牧师带来了
It's Mum, she's brought the vicar round.
- 什么? 为什么? - 他在驱魔 - 什么?
- What? Why? - He's doing an exorcism. - What?
这行不通，对吧?
It can't work, can it?
我不知道啊
I don't know.
因为你以耶♥和♥华♥为你的避难所，
Because you have made the Lord your refuge,
灾祸必不临到你身上
there shall no evil happen to you,
因为他吩咐他的使者看顾你们
for he shall give his angels charge over you.
灾祸必不临到你身上
There shall no evil happen to you,
因为他吩咐他的使者看顾你们
for he shall give his angels charge over you.
灾祸必不临到你身上...
There shall no evil happen to you...
...因为他吩咐他的使者看顾你们
...for he shall give his angels charge over you.
- 通过我主耶稣基♥督♥的名义 - 阿门。
- Through Jesus Christ our Lord. - Amen.
现在没什么好担心的，艾莉森。
There's nothing to worry about now, Alison.
房♥子已被净化
The house is clean.
谢谢你，牧师
Thank you, Reverend.
好吧，凡事都有第一次，对吧?
Well, there's a first time for everything, eh?