老友有喜（2011）

Three trains or a $70 cab ride? That's even?
你别这样
Please don't do this.
那...
Well...
你想见他 随时可以来
You can see him whenever you want, as much as you want.
我只是不能再接近你了
I just can't be close to you anymore.
-这个放哪里 -那边就好 谢谢
-Where do you want this, hon.? -Right there is fine. Thanks.
亲爱的 拿铁要么
Babe, you want a latte?
不要 我在面膜
No, no, I'm on a cleanse.
我要在周五前瘦5磅
I have to drop five by Friday.
一个1 一个2...
A one, a two...
等等 抓住我的手
Wait, wait. Hold my hand.
那是你需要的 像杰姆一样的男人
That's what you need. You need a guy like Jim.
对的
That is true.
等等 我刚得到他 别让他溜走
Wait a minute, I just got him. Don't take him away.
你让我们都成恶人了
You make the rest of us look bad.
烫不烫
Is it burning?
不烫 好
It's not burning? Okay.
-那要不要... -我不要番茄酱
-And what about... -I don't want ketchup!
米罗 你鼻孔里的番茄酱还烫么
Is the ketchup inside your nostril still burning, Milo?
-湿湿的 -谁把它变得湿湿的
-It's wet. -Who made it wet?
-那是谁的主意 -别这样 你们俩
-Whose big idea was that? -Stop it. You guys.
你们俩 我说真的 别这样 我们很好了
You guys, I mean it. No, no, no. We're doing so well.
为什么有人要把孩子带到这个地方
Why would you want to bring your kids to a place like this?
人都他妈疯了
People are fucking crazy.
-是的 -做得好
-Yeah. -Good job.
别这样 别这样 真是谢谢你们俩了
Please, please, please don't. Okay, thank you very much.
-嗨 -你小孩好可爱
-Hi. -Your kids are adorable.
谢谢 我们在想办法
Thank you. We thought we'd try. See how far we get.
今天是我老公生日
It's my husband's birthday.
-生日快乐 -多谢
-Happy birthday. -Thanks.
-他们多大了 -小姑娘11 双胞胎5岁
-How old are they? -She is seven, and the twins are five.
我有个儿子 几个月后要2岁了
I have a boy. He's going to be two in a few months.
噢 天哪 要准备好啊
Oh, God. Get ready.
谢谢
Thanks.
我现在好怀念他们2岁的时候啊
Actually, now I miss twos.
好了 孩子们 挺好 隔壁那桌好心的叔叔阿姨
All right, you guys, listen. Those nice people next to us,
他们不希望薯条满天飞 好不好
they don't want French fries flying into their plates, okay?
所以如果你们吃光 而且好好吃
So if you eat everything, and if you eat nicely,
我们甜点能吃冰淇淋
we can have ice cream for dessert.
嘿 他准备好了 我去接他
Hey, he's ready. I'll go get him.
-嘿 你听说了么 他们要关掉奥利 -没听说
-Hey, did you hear? They're closing Ollie's. -No, I hadn't.
一个时代过去啦
End of an era.
-让我...我去接她 -好
-Let me... I'll go grab him. -Okay.
亲爱的 你♥爸♥爸来了
Sweetie, your dad's here.
嗨 天哪 你好漂亮
Hi! Oh, my goodness, you're gorgeous.
-嗨 很高兴见到你 -很高兴
-Hi. So happy to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
我们刚在自酌自饮 都快烂醉了
We were just drinking heavily by ourselves.
-谢谢救了我们 -烂醉 最好了
-Thank you for saving us. -Heavily. That's the best.
-更加可怕了 -我都不知道是谁的
-That's even worse. -I don't know whose it is.
就有时候就突然跳出来
It just comes out sometimes.
-谢谢你陪我出来 -有呼必应
-Thanks for coming out, man. -Yeah, sure.
-好久不见了 -是啊
-It's been a while. -Yes, it has.
我只是想顺便 亲自道个歉
I just wanted to apologize in person, by the way.
在佛蒙特的时候 是那么大白♥痴♥
For being such a profound asshole up in Vermont.
我真的那时候一团糟
I was in a really bad place, man.
-对不起 -谢谢
-I'm sorry. -Thank you. Thanks.
是 那次是很烂
Yeah, that wasn't great.
不过你知道么 你是对的
But you know what? You were right.
而且几乎都对了
About pretty much everything.
是 亚历克斯告诉了我MJ的事情 很遗憾
Yeah, Alex told me about MJ. Sorry about that.
噢 没事 没事
Oh, no, that's fine.
是其他事情
It's everything else that really sucks.
嗯 也听说了
Yeah, I heard about that, too.
稍纵即逝 真是奇妙无比
It's amazing how fleeting it is, you know?
无论是什麽
That thing, whatever it is.
比如见到新的人
Being into someone new.
是 这个我深有体会
Yes, I've had a few one-night versions of that
尤其这6个月 虽没什么好骄傲的 但...
over the last six months. Not that I'm particularly proud of, but...
很疯狂的是 某一天 她们还是最辣的妹子
No, it's crazy. It's like one day, they're the hottest thing on two legs,
之后 她们就毫无美感
and then the next, they just look ugly to you.
这就是爲什麽 你愿意和某人风雨同舟
That's why you stay with someone
和某人患难与共
you want to be with under the worst possible circumstances.
这也就是米茜和我所没有的
That's what Missy and I didn't have.
我们能有福同享
When things were great, we were great.
但是 有难的时候
As soon as things got hard,
我们貌合神离
we didn't want to be anywhere near each other.
我做过关于她的春梦
I had a really dirty dream about her.
关于MJ 我大概梦过都10次了 老弟...
MJ? I had like 10. Dude...
不是 老哥 是朱莉
No. Dude, Julie.
朱莉
Julie.
-真的 -是啊
-Really? -Yeah.
我不知道 感觉像...在亵渎神灵
I don't know. I'm... You know. It's like... Fucking Jesus.
那你们俩为什么不去试着在一起
So why didn't you guys ever even try being together?
毕竟 安迪走了之后 你就一直在
I mean, after Andy was out of the picture, you were right there.
我不知道 或许是太过熟悉了
I don't know, man. Just too much familiarity, you know?
没有新鲜感
Nothing surprising.
人说兄弟如手足 女人如衣服
It's like she's one of my limbs or something.
她却是如我手足
Like she's part of my body, you know?
那很亵渎 是因为...
And that's bad because...
嘿
Hey.
嗨 儿子 嗨 儿子
Hi, buddy. Hi, buddy.
-玩的开心么 -嗯
-Did you have fun? -Yeah.
有帮我带比萨回来么
Did you save any pizza for me?
没有啊 没比萨啊
No pizza for me. No pizza for me.
好吧 听着 该睡觉了
All right, listen, it's bedtime.
和爸爸说晚安 已经很晚了
We should say good night to your dad. It's way past your bedtime.
等下 我...
Wait. I just...
我知道 下周你生日 我...
I know the big birthday is next week, and I just...
去年给你的礼物 你从没打开过
You never opened your gift from last year,
我想当面交给你
so I just wanted to get it to you under the wire.
谢谢 不过我不需要什麽礼物
That's nice. I don't need any gifts.
不 你拿着吧 不要了可以扔掉
No, just take it. You know. Throw it away if you want.
拆礼物 拆礼物
Open it! Open it!
-不 我真的不需... -拆礼物 妈妈
-No, I don't really... -Open it, Mommy!
不 亲爱的 我...
No, sweetie, I'll just...
谢谢你把他送过来 确实很晚了
Thanks for taking him tonight. I had a really rough deadline.
-嗯 -爸爸 留下来
-Sure. -Daddy, stay!
爸爸 留下来
Daddy, stay!
好 亲爱的 我们该去睡觉了
Okay, sweetie, we're going to go to bed.
爸爸 拆礼物
Daddy, open present.
-没关系 -爸爸 留下来 拆礼物
-That's okay. -Stay and open present, Daddy!
好吧 好吧 我们很快拆礼物
You know what? This is what we'll do. We'll open the present real fast
只要你答应去睡觉 好么
as long as you promise to go right to bed, okay?
-答应我乖乖去睡觉 -那我要爸爸讲故事
-You promise to go right to bed. -I want Daddy to put me to bed!
-没事的 儿子 -我要爸爸给我讲故事
-No, that's okay, buddy. -I want Daddy to put me to bed!
爸爸 留下来
Daddy, stay!
好吧 好吧 我们俩一起给你讲故事
Okay, all right, you know what? We'll both put you to bed,
然后我们一起拆礼物
and then we'll open the present,
然后你答应乖乖睡觉 好么
and then you're going to go to sleep real quick, okay?
-嗯 -爸爸 留下来
-Okay. -Daddy, stay!
我们走
Here we go.
进来吧
Come on in.
-不好意思 有点乱 -噢 收拾得很好了
-Sorry, it's kind of a mess. -Oh, no, it's great.
哇 布鲁克林的房♥子 这么大
Wow, you get square footage in Brooklyn, huh?
是啊 我们都很喜欢
Yeah, we like it.
好 你要很快拆开来么
Okay, you're going to open it really fast?
要不要哗啦一下撕开来
Are you going to rip it open?
-嗯 -你要哗啦一下撕开来
-Yeah. -You're going to rip it open?
-超级快 -好的
-Real fast. -Okay.
就在这边
It's right through here.
好了 儿子 先穿上睡衣