鱼缸加州（2018）

你想看《古董巡回秀》吗?
you want to watch an Antiques Roadshow?
我想再来一杯
I'm gonna need another one of those.
我也是
Me too.
来吧 照我说的那样 - 好
Come on. Now, just like I showed you. - Okay.
你需要在这里 还有这里签字
I'll need an initial here, here,
在这里写上名字和日期
and sign and date here.
还是28号♥ 对吗?
Still the 28th, right?
是的
Yes.
好了 如果有什么变化 请告诉我
Great. Well, let me know if anything changes.
很高兴见到你 - 我也是
Good seeing you. - You too.
嗯 嗨?
Um, hi?
你好
Hello there,
好像没见过你
uh, strange person.
你好
Hey there.
你在做什么?
What are you doing?
只是 呃 给我的地方
Just, uh, putting some
粉饰一下
finishing touches on my place.
这是你的地方?
This is your place?
嗯 这个
Well, it's, uh,
更像是个投资性房♥产
more of an investment property.
是止赎房♥ 很可能会升值
It's a foreclosure. Probably gonna flip it.
顺便说一句 我叫罗德尼
I'm Rodney, by the way.
嘿 你要去哪儿?
Hey, where are you going?
这是谁?
Who's this?
他是来帮忙的
That's the help.
真的?
Really?
我可不管她怎么看我 - 仅此而已?
I'm gonna take this personally here in a second. - A word?
很高兴见到你 亲爱的
So nice to see you, sweetheart.
我喜欢这些运动裤 这是什么 连续20天了?
I love these sweatpants. What is this, the 20th day in a row?
妈 这些都是满的
Mom, these are all full.
你连一颗药都没吃过吗?
Have you even taken a single pill?
妈 身体是你自己的
Mom, this is your life.
如果你看了说明 就知道上面写着
If you read, you will see that it says,
“不要把药丸和酒混在一起”
"Do not mix the pills with the booze."
所以我只是按照说明书来做
So I'm just following directions.
哦 那就戒酒 妈 很简单
Oh, then lay off the booze, Mom. It's simple.
亲爱的
Honey,
如果让我戒酒那还不如杀了我
if I cold-turkey quit, that will kill me.
就让我做我喜欢做的事 好吗
Just let me have whatever I need, okay,
好好享受我的余生
to enjoy the rest of my life.
天哪 你在说什么
God. That's crazy.
我实际上还以为你会听从我
Here I was actually thinking you were listening
前几天在午餐时说的话
to what I was saying at lunch the other day.
我有听你的
I was listening.
你说 “找个人
You said, "Get somebody
来家里帮忙”所以我找了 看
to help out around the house," so I did, look.
找来骗吃骗喝的!
Helping himself to lunch!
他真的无家可归吗?
Is he actually homeless?
嘿! - 闭嘴 你是无家可归 忘了?
Hey! - Zip it. You are homeless, remember?
有蒜酱吗? - 那是给她的 不是给你的
Is there any garlic sauce? - That is for her, not you.
真的很好吃 - 滚
This is actually pretty good. - Out.
身体是你自己的
This is your life.
又见面了 - 请不要对我大喊大叫
Hello again. - Please don't yell at me.
我想我们一开始都误会了
I think we got off on the wrong foot here.
听着 我不是来偷你老妈的东西
Look, I'm not here to steal your mom's shit
或是来蹭吃蹭喝什么的 好吗?
or take advantage of her or anything like that, okay?
我保证 - 你能帮我个小忙吗?
I promise. - Can you do me a small favor?
当然
Sure.
你有没有办法能说服我妈吃药?
Do you think you can try and get my mom to take her meds?
好 没问题
Yeah, no problem.
看似简单 但事实并非如此
Seems easy, but it's not.
你是说琼很固执? 天哪
Are you saying that June is stubborn? Gasp.
要像哄骗小狗一样骗她
Trick her like a dog.
真的?
Seriously?
这是医嘱 - 嘿 奥利维亚
Doctor's orders. - Hey, Olivia.
嘿 弗洛伊德
Hey, Floyd.
普拉提见 - 好
See you in Pilates. - Oh, yeah.
这里有多少只死猫?
How many dead cats are in here?
你觉得黑暗是你的盟友
You think darkness is your ally,
但你只不过是适应了黑暗
but you merely adopted it.
而我却是诞生于黑暗的
I was born into it.
被黑暗所塑造的
Molded by it.
直到成年我才第一次看见光
I didn't see the light until I was already a man.
对我来说它只不过是很刺眼而已!
But by then it was nothing to me but blinding!
你站在那里多久了?
How long have you been standing there?
你真是一个怪人
You're a weird little man.
这里有许多很酷的玩意儿
There's a ton of cool shit in here.
是吗? 你觉得是谁放在这儿的?
Really? Who the hell do you think put it here?
来看看这个
Check this out.
我和吉姆就是这样认识的 - 是吗?
This is how Jim and I met. - Really?
我看到这个帅哥从我身边骑过
I see this handsome guy ride by.
我吹了声口哨
I whistled.
他停了下来
He stopped.
我坐了上去
I got on.
一坐就是一辈子
And never got off.
晚餐快准备好了
Supper's almost ready
晚餐快准备好了
Supper's almost ready
罗德尼
Rodney
罗德尼做了晚餐
Supper made that Rodney
罗德尼做了晚餐
Rodney made the supper
晚餐快准备好了
Well, supper's almost ready.
嗯 有些什么?
Hmm. What's on the menu?
闻着还不错
Doesn't smell half bad.
我这个老婊♥子♥有时候还是会说些好话的
Well, the old bitch can be nice when she wants to be.
我喜欢称之为...罗德尼的惊喜
I like to call it... Rodney Surprise.
是意大利面...
It's pasta with--
呃 呃 呃! 不要破坏惊喜
Uh, uh, uh! Don't spoil the surprise.
所以 你为什么不邀请个朋友来吃饭?
So, why don't you invite a friend for dinner?
我意思是 如果你有的话
I mean, that is if you've got any.
嗯 当然有
Yeah, sure.
我想我知道有个人可以请来
I think I know someone who can make it.
晚餐快准备好了
Supper's almost ready
哦 琼 一干而尽!
Oh, June, drink up!
该你罚酒了 - 是啊是啊
You are in the liquor penalty box right now. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
哦! 看起来不太好
Ew! That did not look good.
好 我们好像快没酒了
Okay. Boy, we are running low on the old hooch.
哦 你这娘娘腔行不行啊?
Oh, can't you pussies keep up?
那是什么意思?
What does that mean?
意思是我们是她的朋友
That means we're her friends.
对了 我想我在车♥库♥里看到了一瓶东西
Okay, I think I saw a bottle of something in the garage.
好 - 我马上回来
All right. - Be right back.
快点
You'd better.
所以
So,
鲨鱼来袭 鲨鱼来袭
shark attack, shark attack,
鲨鱼来袭 鲨鱼来袭!
shark attack, shark attack!
鲨鱼来袭! - 美酒来袭
Shark attack! - Booze attack.
美酒来袭 美酒来袭 - 哦 不错不错不错 看看他带来了什么
Booze attack. Booze attack. - Oh, yummy, yummy, yummy. Look at what he brought.
看看他带来了什么 来 掰手腕 掰手腕
Look at what he brought. Here. Arm-wrestle me. Arm-wrestle me.
来 准备 开始
Come on. Ready? Here we go.
哦 不!
Oh, no!
你输了 - 你真厉害
Got ya. - He's a strong man.
好了 好 伙计们
Okay. All right, guys.
该谁了? 到你了 - 都是你的了 大男孩
Who's up? Your turn. - It's all yours, big guy.
轮到你了 伙计
Your turn, buddy.
好吧 但我不能再喝果汁了
All right, but I can't drink much more juice.
再喝要吐了 - 天啊
It gives me the runs. - Oh, God.
好吧 我想 那么
Well, shit. I think, then,
你是时候喝人生中第一杯酒了
it's time for you to have your first beer.
好吧 我尽可能快地赶来了
All right, I came as fast as I could.
哦! 墨西哥卷饼!
Oh! With burritos!