鱼缸加州（2018）

苔丝
Tess.
你的充气床垫又漏气了
Your air mattress is deflating again.
好吧
Okay.
你看到我另一只鞋了吗?
Have you seen my other shoe?
它在和你躲猫猫 希望你回到床上来
It's hiding from you. Wants you to come back to bed.
听起来很诱人
As tempting as that sounds,
但在我热得融化之前 我得去找个有空调的地方
I have to go somewhere where there's air conditioning before I melt.
你知道 如果我们一起搬进来的话
You know, we can solve this really easily
我们就可以很容易地解决这个问题
if we just moved in together.
已经六个月了 苔丝
It's been six months, Tess.
我保证会好好的照顾你
I'm ready for a bigger commitment.
罗德尼 你连给你的金鱼起名字的时间都没有
Rodney, you can't even find time to name your goldfish.
找到了 - 好 再来亲一个 来嘛
Found it - All right. One more kiss for the road. Come on.
过来! - 不要...
Get over here! - No--
我不要!
I can't!
我得走了 - 不 我会让你走的
I have to go. - No, look, I'm letting you go.
我会让你走的 来
Look, this is me letting you go. Come here.
天哪 - 怎么了?
Oh, my God. - What?
有口气!
Morning breath!
是你的电♥话♥ - 嗯
That's your cue. - Yeah.
你为什么不每次都把它放在同一个地方?
Why don't you put it in the same spot every time?
找到了
Got it.
这是... - 工作
That is for... - Job.
面试
Job interview.
天哪 我要去面试 来 拉我起来 拉我起来
Holy shit. I can do this. Okay, help me up. Help me up.
哦! 嘿 小伙子 对于那个我很抱歉 - 没问题
Oh! Hey, little man. Sorry about that. - It's no trouble.
但我确实要和你说说房♥租的事
But I do need an update about the rent.
你还有三笔欠租得尽快支付
We need one of those three back-payments pronto.
再给我一个星期 我保证 - 拜托...锁上门
One more week, I promise. - Please-- lock the door.
我很抱歉 谢谢你 查理
Sorry about that. Thanks, Charlie.
我不知道一个星期是否可以
And I don't know if a week is going to cut it.
妈妈今天早上用各种丰富多彩的语言
Mom was using all sorts of colorful language
来形容你 但没有一句是好话
this morning to describe you, and none of it was good.
那就五天 我正在去求职面试的路上
Five days, then. I'm on my way to a job interview now.
即使你找到工作 你也很可能要两周后才能拿到薪水
Even if you get a job, you probably won't get your paycheck until two weeks from now.
有道理 我们想办法搞定这事
Good point. We'll figure it out.
我会跟她说 失去你实在是太遗憾了
I'll talk to her. It'd be a shame to lose you.
好 就这么说 再帮我说点其他的好话
Yes. Say that, plus other nice things about me.
我不在乎是不是撒谎 只要好话就行
I don't care if they're lies. Just make 'em nice.
我很好奇你怎么总是在那个小沙坑里玩耍
Very odd that you're always working in that little bunker.
祝你好运! - 谢谢!
Good luck! - Thank you!
芝麻开门
Open, door.
哦 得把你修好 嗯 就这样
Oh, got to get you fixed. Yes, I do.
很抱歉让你久等了
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
菲尔为星期五便装日带来了墨西哥牛排
Phil brought in steak fajitas for casual Friday,
所以我想在实习生洗劫一空之前赶去那里
so I wanted to get in there before the interns ravaged them.
闻着味道不错 我是罗德尼
They smell delicious. I'm Rodney.
我是苏珊
Susan.
所以 根据这份简历
So, according to this résumé,
你最久的一份工作做了六周
the longest job you've held is six weeks.
严格来说 是九周
Well, technically it was nine weeks,
但他们每周工作两天 每天工作5个小时
but they were two-day weeks for, like, five hours a day.
那之前那份工作呢? 一周?
And the one before that? A week?
那是一周60个小时
It was a 60-hour week.
听着 在我们谈论...
Look, before we get into...
公♥司♥制度之前
office politics,
我们能否先谈谈...薪水
can we talk... salary
或者... - 我认为还没到谈这个的时候
or s... - I don't think we're there yet.
不 不 我不是故意要狮子大开口
No, no. I don't mean to just zoom into that,
但很明显我希望能有6... - 6万?
but, you know, obviously I was thinking 60. - Thou?
万? - ...万
Thou? - ...sand.
...万 - 6万?
...sand. - Like, thousand?
6万
Like, thousand.
不 我也是很讲道理的人 你可以适当还一点价的
No, I'm a reasonable guy. I'm willing to negotiate by a few.
“一点”?
"A few"?
很少一点点 我不想贱卖♥♥自己
Few. I don't want to undersell myself.
等等
Wait.
是不是丹尼为你安排的这个职位?
Did Danny set you up for this?
谁是丹尼?
Who's Danny?
你没有大学文凭
You don't have a college degree,
也没有任何工作经验 而这是一个助理职位
and you don't have any experience, and this is an assistant position.
你们打电♥话♥给我时我也挺意外的 有点意外
I was shocked that you guys called me in, too, a little bit.
我意思是 “助理总裁”听上去很厉害的样子
I mean, an "assistant CEO" sounds really important.
是“总裁助理”
Assistant to the CEO. "To."
不 不 我很确定电♥话♥里的那个人说的是“助理总裁”
No, no, I'm pretty sure the guy on the phone said "assistant CEO."
哦 那是我现在的助理 就在那儿
Okay, that would be my current assistant, right there.
哦 他看到我们了 别管他
Oh. We got eye contact. Just ignore him.
看着我 别回头看... - 你需要什么吗?
Look at me. Don't look back Don't look... - You need somethin'?
嘿
Hello?
看着我 别回头 - 好的
Just look at me. Don't look back. - Okay.
如果我们坐着不动 他就会离开
If we stay still long enough, he will go away.
你听到我说话吗?
Can you hear me?
苏珊?
Susan?
苏珊!
Susan!
苏珊 你听到我说话吗?
Susan, can you hear me?
每天都听到
Every day.
苏珊!
Susan!
哈利 你没有工作要做吗?
Harry, don't you have work to do?
没有
No.
星期五便装日还有什么意义?
What else would be the point of casual Fridays?
去他妈的工作
Fuck this job.
那就是我的竞争者?
Is that who I'm competing against?
本质上是 - 我...
Essentially. - I am...
很喜欢这次机会
liking my chances.
我可不打算用一个白♥痴♥替换另一个白♥痴♥
Well, I don't intend on replacing one idiot with another.
是的是的 - 哦 天哪 他回来了
Right, right. - Oh, Jesus, he's back.
嘿 我把咖啡洒在复印机上了
Hey, I spilled coffee on the copier.
机器坏了 别指望我
It's busted. That's on me.
现在是时候谈薪水了吧 还是...
Is now a good time to talk salary, or...
你有调酒经验吗?
Do you have any bartending experience?
就个人而言 我有很丰富的
Personally, I have a lot more
泡酒吧的经验
bar-attending experience.
哦 开个玩笑
Oh, come on. That was funny.
好 我再问你个问题
Okay, let's try this again.
你如何调制一杯莫吉托?
How do you make a, uh, mojito?
龙舌兰...杜松子酒
Tequi... Gin.
朗姆酒
Rum.
还有...其他一些东西
And... other stuff.
我自己更喜欢喝威士忌
I'm more of a whiskey fan myself.
好吧 那你如何做一杯威士忌酸酒?
All right, so, uh, how do you make a whiskey sour?
威士忌 威士忌以及吃醋的旧情人 我说的对吗?
Whiskey, whiskey, and a jealous ex-lover. Am I right?
因为是酸的?
'Cause it's sour?
好吧 我得走了
Okay, I'm going to get going.
我15分钟后要去做按♥摩♥
I got a, uh, massage in 15 minutes.
那种是...
It's one of those...
你懂的
you know.
啊 就是那种赤脚踩到你背上的?
Ugh. That kind where they walk on your back with bare feet?
保持联♥系♥
I'll be in touch.
嘿 嘿!
Hey, hey!
嘿
Hey.
面试怎么样了? 成功了吗?
How'd that one go? Did you get it?
实际上当场就录用我了
Practically gave it to me on the spot.
什么?
What?
恭喜啊! 真为你感到骄傲!
Congratulations! I am so proud of you!
哦 这没什么
Oh, it wasn't anything.
哦 太棒了! 我太惊讶了!
Oh, it's so good! I'm so impressed!
那么 这是...这是什么? 为了庆祝吗?
So, what's... what's this? Are we celebrating?
哦 只是一些好吃的东西
Oh, it's just a little this and that.
给
Here.
哦耶 - 干杯
Oh, yeah. - Cheers.