雾水总统（1993）

He's not a president. He's an ordinary person.
我可以杀普通人
I can kill an ordinary person.
鲍勃 想杀多少杀多少
Bob. I can kill 100 ordinary people.
鲍勃
Bob.
他只是按照你的吩咐在做事
He's only doing what you told him to do.
我让他做什么了
What I told him to?
我听到了 你说过"从联邦预算中削减掉6.5亿美元
I heard you. You said, "Cut $650 million off the federal budget...
就可以保住你那些的收♥容♥所♥" 我不是那个意思
...and you can keep your shelters." I didn't mean it.
我吃饱了撑的要保一个流浪汉收♥容♥所♥
Why would I want to save a homeless shelter?
他只是在做他份内的工作而已
He was only doing his job.
他的工作 他的工作 去他的工作 那是我的工作
His job? His job? It's not his job! It's my job!
鲍勃
Bob.
你能不能冷静一点
Will you calm down?
他是三方委员会的成员吗 他是参议员吗
Was he on the Trilateral Commission? Was he a senator?
他连续九年上过"名人录"吗 你好 朱迪
Was he in "Who's Who" nine years in a row? Hello, Judy.
嗨 朱迪 嗨
Hi, Judy. JUDY: Hi.
我要毁了他 我要撕烂这个混♥蛋♥ 不要这样
I'll destroy him. I'll shred the bastard. Don't do this.
我要一劳永逸地把他解决掉 然后我们一起进监狱
I'll lock him away for good. Then we'll all go to jail together.
你这话是什么意思
What do you mean by that?
就是你理解的意思
Just what you think I mean.
你这是在威胁我吗
Are you threatening me?
好吧
Well....
是啊
Yeah.
我想是的
I guess I am.
谢了 默里
Thanks, Murray.
多亏了你
You did great.
嘿 要是你什么时候再回来
Hey, maybe you can come back sometime.
我们可以去戴维营之类的地方看看
We can go to, uh, Camp David or something.
戴维营 对啊
Camp David? Yeah.
尽快离开这里吧
Get out of here as fast as you can.
拜托 一定要是七
DAVE: Come on, seven.
拜托 一定要是六
Come on, number six.
我们都输了
We both lose.
我看到你这边灯还亮着 所以我来
I saw your light was on, so I just....
介意我坐一会儿吗
Mind if I sit down?
呃
Uh....
不介意 请坐吧
No. Please.
你要不要
Would you like, uh....
不用了 谢谢
No, thanks.
你今天做了一件了不起的事
That was quite a thing you did today.
换成任何人都会这么做的
Anyone would've done that.
我不这么认为
I don't think so.
不管怎么说 你帮助了很多人
Anyway, you helped a lot of people.
你知道
You know...
这有点让我回想起了当初
...it kind of reminded me...
你在州议会上做的那件事
...of that thing you did a long time ago in the state legislature.
是啊
Oh, yeah.
我也是
Hmm, me too.
你从来没去过州议会
You weren't in the state legislature.
嗨 我是埃伦·米切尔
Hi, I'm Ellen Mitchell.
你是哪位
Who are you?
听着 我说这个是不想给你增添心理负担
Look, I'll make this easy on you.
我们几乎不再见面了
I never see him anymore.
我也几乎不认识他了
I barely know him anymore.
我只是想知道他人在哪里
I'd just kind of like to know where he is.
这样会给我带来很大♥麻♥烦的
This could get me into a lot of trouble.
请开门吧 杜安
Open it, please, Duane.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
很抱歉 你们不可以进来
I'm sorry, you're not allowed in here.
亚历山大先生留下了严格的指示 我稍后会向你解释
Mr. Alexander left strict instructions. STEVENSON: I'll explain it to you later.
噢 不
Oh, no.
发生了什么事
What happened?
他中风了
It was a stroke.
很严重
It's pretty bad.
我不明白 他是不是
I don't understand. Is he...
他是不是要
Is he going to...?
我很遗憾
I'm sorry.
你要离开了吗
You're leaving?
我不再是第♥一♥夫♥人♥了
I'm not the first lady anymore.
我不该再留在这里
I shouldn't be here.
那你要去哪儿
Where are you going?
回家
Home.
哪儿的家
DAVE: Where's home?
能不能别再问十万个为什么了
ELLEN: Look, can we stop with the 20 questions?
我现在真的没有这个心情
Because I'm really not in the mood.
就是些纪念品 毛巾之类的东西
Souvenirs. Towels and stuff.
你也要走吗
You're leaving too?
我从没想过要伤害任何人
I never wanted to hurt anybody.
我甚至还认为我在帮忙呢
Heck, I even thought I was helping.
你知道
You know...
你和自己做了这个小小的交易
...you make this little deal with yourself that...
你可以忍♥受他和其他女人乱搞
...you can put up with all the other women...
你甚至可以放弃自己的生活
...and you can even do without a life.
你甚至可以放弃生孩子
You can even do without children...
因为你相信自己的所做所为是正确的
...because you believe in what you're doing and you think....
你以为你有机会帮助别人
You thought you had a chance to help people.
你打算怎么回家
How are you gonna get home?
呃
ELLEN: Um....
我不知道 我还没有
I don't know. I hadn't really...
考虑得那么长远
...thought it out that far.
你确定这是个通道吗
ELLEN: Are you sure this goes somewhere?
他们说林登·贝恩斯·约翰逊就是一直用这个通道
They say LBJ used it all the time.
限制区
杜安说他会在那里停一辆车
DAVE: Duane said he'd leave a car right over there.
你是什么时候发现的
When did you, uh, first know?
我是说我的身份
I mean, about me?
在车上时吧
In the car, I think.
在去收♥容♥所♥的路上 你看了我的腿
On the way to the shelter, you looked at my legs.
比尔很久以前就不再看我了
Bill stopped looking a long time ago.
我还以为是在我洗澡时发现的呢
I thought maybe it was in the shower, heh.
不是
No.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
怎么了 警♥察♥
What? Police.
你犯了什么事 我不知道
What'd you do? I don't know.
能看一下你的驾照吗 先生 给 警官
POLICEMAN: See your driver's license, sir? DAVE: Here, sir.
还有车辆登记证明
And registration.
听 没有 我一定是忘在家里了
Um.... No, uh, I, uh, must've left it at home.
请从车里出来
Step out of the car, please.
我们两个都出去 是的 请都出来
Both of us? Yes, both of you, please.
你可能没注意到
Well, you may not be aware...
但就在这片街区 有一个"禁止左转"的标志
...but there is a posted "No left turn" sign just down the block here.
你就直接那么开过去了
You went right through it.
哦
DAVE: Oh.
我真不知道当时在想什么 我的天
I don't know what I was thinking. Oh, my gosh.
哦
Oh.
我们长得很像
We're look-alikes.
不是 我们两个长得不像 但我的意思是
Heh, we don't look like each other, but I mean...
我知道你在想什么 我们就是总统和第♥一♥夫♥人♥的替身
I know what you think. People hire us to impersonate the president and first lady.
我们在同一家机构工作 也是在那里认识的
We work out of an agency. That's where we met.
你看起来真的跟他很像
You sure look like him.
谢谢 我们确实在很努力保持这个形象 我是说她
Thanks. We work very hard at it. I mean, uh, she....
她专门把头发剪得和第♥一♥夫♥人♥一模一样
She got her hair cut to look... Perfect match.
我们刚刚结束在萨伯斯坦婚礼上的表演 大家都很喜欢
We just, uh, played the Sapperstein wedding. They loved us.
我们还按照惯例去了地中海俱乐部
We did.... We did our, uh, Club Med routine...
就像第♥一♥夫♥人♥和总统一样比尔 米切尔会这样
...where the first lady and the president go to Club Med, and there's Bill Mitchell.
他会说 "7点钟我要打一个小时的排球
He's like, "At 0700, I want an hour of volleyball.
8点30分向我详细汇报 关于冲浪情况的完整简报"
And then at 0830, I want a complete briefing on the whole surf situation."
最后 还有在人才俱乐部的闭幕表演
And then the big finale at, uh, the Talent Club.
明天太阳就会出来
The sun will come out tomorrow
用你兜里最后一个子儿赌明天
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
我很好
I'm okay.