倒忌时

"If you could know exactly when you're gonna die,
你会想知道吗"
would you wanna know?"
上帝啊
Oh, my God.
所以你最近表现得像个怪人
Is that why you've been acting like such a freak show?
因为一个应用程序告诉你
Because an app told you
你只下一天可活了
you only have one day to live?
不 这是假的 很明显
No. It's fake, obviously.
可是我想知道
Well, I wanna know.
别
Don't!
你有什么毛病
What is your problem?
我很抱歉你一直被塔尔伯特太太当保姆
I'm sorry you're stuck with Mrs. Talbot,
但你不可以待在这里
but you can't stay here.
求你了 我从来没有要求过什么
Come on. I never ask for anything.
我说了 现在不是时候
I told you, it's just not a good time.
上帝啊 自从妈妈死后
God. Ever since Mom died,
你这个姐姐当得真的很不称职
you've really sucked in the big sister department.
别这么做 不要试图
Don't do that. Don't try to make
让我感觉愧疚来得到你想要的
me feel bad to get what you want.
告诉你一下 不管你觉得
Just so you know, whatever you thought
我和乔那天晚上在干什么
Joe and I were doing the other night,
我们今晚一定会再做一次的
we're definitely gonna be doing it tonight.
倒忌时
你还有1天4小时55分钟
滑动以查看计时器
下一位
Next.
我的手♥机♥死机了
My phone just quit working.
这原因还真是令人费解
I can't imagine why.
你每次都是这么"优雅"地把它放下的吗
You always put it down with such grace?
你一般会用它做些什么
What do we use it for, primarily?
大部分都是在发短♥信♥和刷脸书
Mostly just texting and Facebook.
你口袋里的这部手♥机♥
You have more computing power in your pocket
拥有比航♥天♥局载人登月时还要多的计算力
than NASA did when they put a man on the moon,
可你却"大部分都是在发短♥信♥和刷脸书"
but you use it for "mostly texting and Facebook."
所以人类是生来就被注定的
This is why humanity's doomed.
我不想看到你这种态度
You know what?
以为自己是个科技男就在这儿拽了
I don't need your smug "tech guy" attitude.
你的经理在哪儿
Where's your manager?
-我去叫他 -对 去找他
- I'm gonna go get him. - Yeah, go get him.
稍等 行 等会儿
Just hang on. Alright. Hold on.
您好 我是这儿的经理
Hello. I'm the manager.
小姐 您需要什么帮助吗
Something I can help you with, miss?
你刚刚给自己丢了个顾客 傻蛋
You just lost yourself a customer, smart-ass.
是嘛 你觉得我还能找到下一个吗 还是
I did? Do you think I'll be able to find another one, or...
下一位
Next!
我要一部新手♥机♥
I need a new phone.
好的 你想要哪一款
Okay. What kind of specs are you looking for?
这些是刚进的
These actually just came in.
好 就那个吧
Yeah. Sure. That one.
好的
Okay.
如果你能先 等我把卡给刷了
If you could just... wait till I run the card...
好吧
All right.
没关系 我相信你
Never mind. I trust you.
你的眼神告诉我你是一个
Something in your eyes says you're
正常的 头脑清醒的人
a normal, completely sane person.
需要我帮你转一下电♥话♥卡吗
Need me to transfer a SIM card over?
不 我都要全新的
No! I want all new everything.
-新手♥机♥ 新号♥码 新流量运营商 -好的
- New phone, new number, new service. - Okay.
这个不在价目表上
Now, off the books,
只要700块 我帮你解除出厂限制
for $100 cash, I could jailbreak it.
这样一来 你想下什么软件都可以
You can have every app you'll ever need.
不用了 它出厂什么样就给我什么样
No, I just want it however it comes.
好吧
Okay.
给你
Here you go.
怎么样 可以吗
That's good?
还需要别的什么帮助吗
Anything else I can help you with?
没有了
No.
好的
Okay.
下一位
Next.
倒忌时
更新完成
-这踏马是什么 -什么
- What the hell is this? - What?
这个软件
This app!
为什么它会出现在这上面
Why is it on there?
真奇怪 你刚刚买♥♥了它吗
That's weird. Did you buy it?
我哪有时间买♥♥啊 你刚刚才把它打开了
When could I have done that? You literally just turned it on.
好的 深呼吸
Okay. Deep breath.
那我们删掉它就好了 来
We'll just delete it. Here.
你删不掉它
It won't let you delete it!
算了 给我吧
Just give it to me.
行吧 我们在大众点评上哦 叫医生的无线网
All right. We're on Yelp. Doc's Wireless.
记得给好评 谢谢了
Please leave a review. Appreciate it.
她刚刚说的那个软件叫什么
Hey. What app was she talking about?
嘿 倒车看路啊
Hey! Watch where you're going!
-对不起 -傻♥逼♥女司机
- Sorry. - Stupid bitch.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
怎么又是你 你是白♥痴♥吗
You again? Are you an idiot?
看看你对我的雷克萨斯做的好事
Look what you did to my Lexus!
嘿 我跟你说话呢
Hey! I'm talking to you!
嘿 嘿
Hey! Hey!
放开她
Let her go.
你想干嘛
What are you gonna do about it?
我想干嘛
What am I gonna do about it?
你可以现在离开 这样谁都不会受伤
Well, you can leave and nobody gets hurt.
或者你也可以继续待在这儿
Or you can stick around
不一会儿你就会发现我这人有点疯狂
and find out that I'm all sorts of crazy.
并且 我说的那种疯狂啊
And I mean the type of crazy where
是那种我发现我快死了的那种疯狂
I just found out I'm gonna die,
说不定我会捎上一个白种男人跟我一起死
and maybe I feel like taking a white man with me.
所以 你选吧 我完全不会在意你的选择
So, the choice is yours. I really don't give a damn.
淡定 老兄 只是点儿小碰撞而已 天呐
Relax, man. It was just a fender bender. Jesus.
你没事吧
You okay?
你也看见那些不干净的东西了对吧
You're seeing stuff too, aren't you?
我也是
So am I.
我只想知道 为什么是我们
What I wanna know is, why us?
酒吧
因为我们下载了它
Because we downloaded it.
不 肯定不是这样
No, that's not it.
其他人下载了 但是他们就能活到100岁
Other people download it, and they find they're living to be 100.
它说我违反了用户协议
It told me I violated the user agreement.
对 它也对我说了同样的东西
Right. You know, it said the same thing to me.
你有看吗
Did you read it?
条款及细则吗 看了 一字不落
The terms and conditions? Every word.
真的吗
Really?
骗你的
No.
你们想不想买♥♥张去南极洲的船票
You wanna buy a ticket to Antarctica?
想也买♥♥不了
Well, you can't.
因为只有政♥府♥和光明会的人才能去南极洲
Because only the government and the Illuminati have access to Antarctica.
明白没 那群狗♥娘♥养♥的
See? The sons of bitches!
行 要是我们逃到别的地方去呢
Okay. What if we go somewhere else?
不 没关系了
No, it's okay.
反正我们也没办法倒回去读它了
There's nowhere to go back and read it.
我觉得 肯定有什么在等着被我们发现
I think that there's gotta be something there
告诉我们答案
that could tell us.
你们这群人该醒醒了
You people need to wake up.
因为如果我们去了
Because if we go there,
我们就会发现南极洲
we'll be able to see that Antarctica
是地球的边缘
is the edge of the flat earth.
大概没什么不可能吧 格尔
I guess anything's possible, Ger.
要是我们有办法
What if there's a way for us to
再看一遍用户协议呢
look at that user agreement again?
听我说
Track with me.
要是我们能让某个人下载它
What if we got someone to download it
让我们看看条款 再点拒绝就好了
just so we could see the terms, and we don't accept it?
不行 这么做不对