尸骨无存2（2009）

家乡纯水（矿泉水公♥司♥）
我什么都没看到！
I didn't see anything!
他们当时大吵大闹 他们总是这样吵闹
They were yelling.
They're always yelling.
我只求能有一丝安宁
All I wanted was
some peace and quiet.
放松 伙计 你只是撞到了一直驼鹿
Relax, man.
You just hit a moose.
一只驼鹿？
A moose?
你确定吗？
Are you sure?
当然 我经常碰到这种烂事
Yeah, man, I see this kind
of shit all the time.
事实上，跟I-95近期发生的事比起来
这个连“烂事”都算不上
In fact, this ain't shit compared to
what just happened on I-95 recently.
那次是一个女的撞到了一头驼鹿，
I mean, a lady hit a moose
and the motherfucker
她直直的冲破了风挡玻璃 伙计
went right through
the windshield, man.
不会吧
No.
千真万确
Yeah.
我当时跟我堂兄正在聚会…
I was partying with my cousin.
你知道的…
哪种聚会？
- You know...
- What kind of partying?
就是那种…
明白了
- partying like...
- Okay.
我就像楠塔基特岛上那些
“老二”大得连婊♥子♥都受不了的家伙们那样
getting some hair pie
like the man from Nantucket
正跟几个“小毛穴”大战三百和呢
whose dong was so long them
bitches couldn't even fuck it?
然后这该死的驼鹿打断了我的“阅屄♥♥式”
And this fucking moose pissed
on my pussy parade, man.
我不得不在星期天跑出来 就是因为
I had to come down on
a Sunday because he's sitting
它（驼鹿）清醒的坐在一辆沃尔沃的前座上
in the front seat of
a Volvo wide awake
脑袋从玻璃上的破洞伸出来
with his head sticking out
the cracks in the glass and shit, man.
可怜的家伙
Poor guy.
我必须把它弄下来
I had to put him down.
但是我先拍了一张照片
But I got
a picture of it.
我一直随身带着这张照片
因为每次我把这个故事讲给人听的时候
I carry this shit with me now 'cause
every time I'd tell that story
他们都不相信
nobody would believe me.
一笑了之吧 伙计
好的。
- Laugh it off, man.
- Okay.
这算不上什么
好的
- This ain't shit.
- Okay.
好了吗？把孩子们送到学校去吧 好吗？
All right?
Just get the kids to school, all right?
当然 好的 谢谢你
Yeah, okay.
Thank you.
再次感谢
Thank you.
闭嘴！
Stop!
温斯顿 能听到吗？
Winston, do you copy?
温斯顿 能听到吗？
Winston, do you copy?
是的 长官 我听着呢
Yes, sir, I'm here.
你♥他♥妈♥在哪？
Where the hell are you?
史密斯桥大道 我正在清理巴士事故的现场
Smith Bridge Road. I'm still clearing
the scene from that bus accident.
我不在乎是不是智障开的巴士
I don't give a shit
if it's a handicapped bus
现在公路上到处都是喋喋不休的弱智
and there's a bunch of
retards splattered all over the road.
我需要你现在就回来
I need you back here now.
不知从哪冒出来一大堆西装革履的家伙
There's a bunch
of suits up here
不停的问一大堆关于我们办事流程的洋问题
asking a whole lot of big-city questions
about the way we do things.
他们今早刚去过“小木屋”
They were
up at the cabin this morning
我想要确保你这蠢货弄清楚状况
and I need to make sure
that your stupid ass
你明白吗？
is on the same page.
Do you get me?
是的 长官 我懂了
Yes, sir, I'm on it.
桑迪泰勒可笑得要命
Sandy Taylor's fucking ridiculous.
你-你 约翰 你刚才趴在方向盘上睡着了
Yo- yo, John, you were
just asleep at the wheel
当着校花的面
for the hottest girl in school.
是的 她不是我的类型
Yeah, not my type.
等等 你说桑迪不是你的类型？
Wait, Sandy is not your type?
你什么意思？
What does that even mean?
难道你是玻璃（同性恋）？你跟你♥爸♥说过吗？
Does that mean you're gay?
Did you tell your dad?
他抑郁了吗？ 还是-
Was he bummed, or-
伙计 你天天都能见到她 你知道的她简直是噩梦
Dude, you see her every day.
You know she's a nightmare.
不 我不知道
No, I don't know that.
事实上 你也不知道 你不知道自己想要那种类型
In fact, neither do you.
You don't even have a type,
约翰 别太认真了
John, you have an obsession.
卡西！卡西 我爱你！
'Cassie!
Cassie, I love you!
你能亲我吗？你能-
Would you kiss me?
Would you-'
说真的 伙计 别拿这张欲求不满的臭脸对着我
Seriously, man, don't take your fucking
blue balls out on me, man.
不要以为这里只有你想着
Don't think you're the only dude
here thinking about taking
带完美小姐去“新城”
Miss Gorgeous to Boomtown.
我还知道你是唯一一个
I actually know you are
the only person here
笨到即使知道她的前男友
dumb enough to take
a girl out whose ex-boyfriend
是“踢掉牙”黑带也仍然要约她出来的人
does have a fucking black belt
in kicking teeth in.
听着 伙计 我跟你说-
Look, man, I told you-
她是不可能跟我出来的
there's no way that she's
gonna go with me
她才跟他分手没几天 你操心这些干什么？
just days after breaking up with him.
Why do you care anyway?
既然你讨厌舞会 干脆别去了
You hate the prom,
so drop it.
我知道 舞会很烂 但是这是两码事
I know, prom blows.
But this is a whole different thing.
这对你很重要
This is important for you.
知道我什么意思吗？这就像…
You know what I mean?
This is like...
此外 这证明了你对姑娘们知之甚少
Besides, it really just proves how little
you know about girls anyway.
那么-嘿 我他妈正说话呢 过来
So- hey, I'm fucking talking.
Come on.
如果她跟他分手了 那是因为她终于认识到
If she broke up with him,
it's 'cause she finally realized
连混♥蛋♥都要比他强
how big of a fucking
douchebag the guy is.
至于跟你去参加舞会
那就像是最终的火力出击 是吗？
And going to prom with you, that's like
the ultimate power move, all right?
你是全学校最聪明的家伙
You're the smartest dude
in school,
你认识她都一辈子了
you've fucking known
the girl your whole life,
你还深深的爱着她
and you're head over heels
in love with her.
不是吗？ 我是说 别泄气
All right?
I mean, come on.
对于这些婊♥子♥来说 怨恨跟钱一样重要
Spite is almost as important
to those bitches as- as money.
知道我说什么吗？她知道这一切
You know what I mean?
She knows all this.
我是说 现在马克已经出局了
I mean, now that Marc
is out of the picture,
她正好也要一雪前耻
revenge is exactly
what she needs.
对于这里的任何一个女孩来说
For every single girl
in this building,
复仇是第一位的
that is the priority-
revenge.
我是说 看那边那一对野兽
I mean, look at those
2 fucking savages right there.
嘿 这就这么回事-
Hey.
That's how it is-
好了 好了 我会考虑的
All right, all right,
I'll think about it.
干就好了 给你的小妞刮刮“胡子” 一鼓作气
Just fucking do it.
Shave your pussy, get it over with.
我为你的理想鼓劲 你要坚持下去
I'm rallying for your fucking cause.
You need to do this thing.