最佳销售员（2021）

I was captain of the cross-country team.
我一直在工作，好吗?
I worked all the time, okay?
我没有朋友，也没有私人生活，因为我在工作，而且我真的很擅长工作。
I had no friends and no personal life, because I was working and I was really good at it.
但这些都是狗屁，不是吗?
Oh, but all that is bloody bullshite, isn't it?
都是他妈的屁话。
It's all fucking bullshite.
我不需要这个。
I don't need this.
很明显，你也不知道。
Neither do you, clearly.
很好。
Fine.
很好。
Fine.
去给我拿瓶酒来。
Go and get me a fucking bottle.
继续。
Go on.
该死的地狱。
Fucking hell.
喔!
Whoo.
喔!
Whoo.
嘘。
Shh.
嗯哼。读!读!
Ahem. Read! Read!
读!读!
Read! Read!
读!读!读!
Read! Read! Read!
读!读!读!读!
Read! Read! Read! Read!
读!读!读!
Read! Read! Read!
读!读!读!读!
Read! Read! Read! Read!
不走了。
Don't go now.
伙计们，现在别走。
You guys, don't go now.
这是bullshite !
This is bullshite!
好吧，我马上回来。
All right, I'll be back.
音乐开始。
Start the music.
嘿。
Hey.
你说你要看书的。
You said you were going to read.
你读给他们听。
You fucking read it to them.
他们不是来找我的。
They're not here for me.
我他妈不是来找他们的。
And I'm not fucking here for them.
你知道吗?反正也不重要了，因为现在没人读书了。
You know what? It wouldn't matter anyway, because no one fucking reads anymore.
标签“bullshite !”
Hashtag "bullshite!"
读!读!读!
Read! Read! Read!
里面的人都被激怒了。
They're all pissed in there, you know.
群的发言。
Bunch of twits.
Bullshite !
Bullshite!
读!读!
Read! Read!
我马上就回来。不要动。
I'll be right back. Don't move.
嘿!打扰一下!
Hey! Excuse me!
Bullshite,先生。
Bullshite, sir.
我真的很抱歉，亲爱的。
I'm really sorry, darling.
真的。
Really.
“伊甸园就不见了。
"Eden was gone.
“不再触手可及。
"No longer within reach.
看来上帝已经不再犯错误了。”
It seems God was done with mistakes."
这是更好的吗?
Is that better?
你打算整本书都这样写吗?
And you're going to do the whole book like this?
嗯,没有。
Well, no.
我是说，只有最好的段落，部分。
I mean, just the best passages, sections.
那太夸张了。
Well, that was too melodramatic.
好吧，我们可以…你可以选择任何你喜欢的。
Okay, well, we can... You can choose... whatever you like.
好吧。
Okay.
嗯哼。我试试看。
Mm-hmm. I'll try.
“盘子不是来自害虫或昆虫。
"The plate did not come from a pest or insect.
“它来自于人们盯着自己的肚脐，而不是彼此的眼睛。”
"It came from man gazing into his own navel instead of into one another's eyes."
这就是你要找的吗?
Is that what you were looking for?
你觉得呢?
What do you think?
更好。
Better.
真的吗?你不觉得太夸张了吗?
Really? That wasn't too melodramatic for you?
你还有什么?
What else you got?
我在想……“地球上最富有的地方已经变成了墓地，因为梦想被埋葬在那里。”
I was thinking... "The richest place on earth had become the graveyards, because that's where dreams were buried."
那是很重的东西。
That's some heavy shit.
“他很高兴死去。
"He was happy to die.
他只剩下投降了。
"Surrender was all he had left.
“他不会再发生什么事了。
"Nothing more could happen to him.
再也不能从他身上夺走什么了。”
Nothing more could be taken from him."
“看着这个星球上唯一剩下的人死去”是一种独一无二的感觉。
"Watching the only other person left on the planet die "was a feeling like no other.
“这个世界立刻感到比以前大十倍，冷十倍，地心引力似乎松开了。”
"The world instantly felt ten times as vast and cold, and gravity seemed to loosen its grip."
"就好像她画的壁画"一直都是为他准备的。
"It was as if the murals she painted "were always intended for him.
“他变成了一个可能看到他们并找到希望的陌生人。”
"He had become the stranger who might see them and find hope."
“当时没有电♥话♥。
"There were no phones.
“没有电视，就没有政客。
"No TVs, no politicians.
“没有国王或王后。
"No kings or queens.
“没有银行，没有邻居，没有电影明星。
"No banks, no neighbors and no movies stars.
“当然，上帝还在。
"Of course, God was still around.
但他并没有起到什么作用。”
But it's not like he'd ever made a difference."
哇。看,间。
Wow. Look, Hemmy.
看,间。看。你知道那是谁吗?
Look, Hemmy. Look. Do you know who that is?
那是你的爸爸。
That's your papa.
是的,哈里斯肖。
Yeah, Harris Shaw.
这是你的信托基金，好吗?
This here's your trust fund, okay?
所以，这本书很畅销。
So, the book is selling.
是的。销♥售♥。
Yes. Sales are up.
这一切都是因为这个花招。
All because of this gimmick.
我觉得他们读到的东西跟这个有关系。
Well, I think what they're reading has something to do with it.
我猜你还是找到了一种扰乱我语言的方法。
I guess you found a way to mess with me words after all.
快看，肖。
Check it out, Shaw.
我要把你的话带进坟墓。
I'm taking your words to the grave, man.
你妈妈养了一个失败的傻瓜。
Your mother reared a failed twit.
谢谢。
Thanks.
真不敢相信我会这么说，但票已经卖♥♥完了。
I can't believe I'm saying this, but we are sold out.
我很抱歉。
I'm so sorry.
我们的票已经卖♥♥完了。
We are completely sold out.
我们卖♥♥完了。
We're sold out.
嗯,公告!
Um, announcement!
不幸的是，我们的书全部售完了，但请网上购买♥♥。
We are completely sold out of books, unfortunately, but please buy them online.
就用打折代码"扯淡"吧
Just use the discount code "bullshite"
的折扣。
for the discount.
——Bullshite !-没错。
- Bullshite! - Right it is.
我们的票已经卖♥♥完了。
We are completely sold out.
什么?是的!
What? Yes!
是的,是的,是的!
Yes, yes, yes!
好吧，你肯定不会相信我要告诉你的事。
Okay, well, you're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you.
什么?好消息还是坏消息?
What? Good news or bad news?
我刚接到《今夜秀》才艺协调人的电♥话♥
I just got a call from that talent coordinator from the "Tonight Show."
他们想让哈里斯宣传这本书。
They want Harris to plug the book.
哦,我的上帝。好吧。
Oh, my God. Okay.
我知道，我知道。
I know, I know.
什么时候?
When?
——明天。——明天?
- Tomorrow. - Tomorrow?
比如，明天?
As in, like, tomorrow?
比如，他明天上节目?
Like, he's on the show tomorrow?
你会准备好的，对吧?
You'll be ready, right?
好吧。
Okay.
你会准备好了。太好了。
You'll be ready. Great.
好工作。伟大的工作。
Good job. Great work.
哈里斯会很棒的。
Harris is going to be great.
说话很快。
Talk soon.
你♥他♥妈♥在干什么?
What the bloody hell are you doing?
角色扮演。角色扮演。
Role play. Role play.
——什么?-我来主持。
- What? - I'm going to be the host.
你会做你自己的，只是会更好。
You're going to be you... except nicer.
更讨人喜欢。
More likeable.
来吧。
Come on.
我是血腥的舒适。我不动。
I'm bloody comfortable. I'm not moving.
啊!很好。
Ugh! Fine.
我们在这里做。
We'll do it here.
再说一次，我是主持人。
Again, I'm the host.
你是你，但是被审查了。
You're you, but censored.
还记得吗?