死在西部的一百万种方式

When I asked why, she simply said,
"我想在他咬我之前咬他一口"
"Well, I wanted to bite him before he bit me."
你怎么样 爸爸 还好吗
Hey, how you doing, Dad? You okay?
她是个踏实的好女人
She was a good, solid woman.
我喜欢她
I liked her.
爸爸冷静点 你这么多愁善感我不太适应
Easy, Dad, I'm uncomfortable with so much emotion.
对不起我没救活她 艾伯特
I'm sorry I couldn't save her, Albert.
她吞了个碎片 医生 你也无力回天
She had a splinter, Doc, what the hell were you supposed to do?
尘归尘 土归土
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
这里还有两具
Hey, we got a couple more here.
我们能不能用这个坟
Yeah, can we get in on this grave?
可以 用吧
Yeah, sure. Yeah, go ahead.
万分感谢
Much obliged.
谢谢
Thanks.
我看最近到处都有孩子在滚铁圈
Man, I see kids everywhere with those stick hoops lately.
我也是
I know. Me, too.
这对他们的大脑不好吧
It's got to be bad for their brains, right?
是啊 会让他们的反应变得迟缓
Yeah, it stunts their attention span.
我在报纸上读过相关报道
I read an article in the paper.
我也看过
Yeah, I saw that.
好像是说会让他们失去创造力
It's like they lose the power to innovate
因为他们整天都只盯着铁圈
because they're staring at the stick hoop all day.
我跟你说
Let me tell you something.
二十年后
When intellectual progress
等人类的智力发展骤停时
comes to a screeching halt 20 years from now,
全得感谢滚铁圈
you can thank the stick hoop.
说的没错
Yeah. That's about right.
爱德华 爱德华
Edward, Edward.
妈了个蛋
Holy shit.
妈蛋富伊
Fucking Foy.
她还告诉我她不想找新欢
She told me she didn't want to see anybody.
说要一个人好好想想
She told me she had to work on herself.
看看
Look at that.
上帝 混♥蛋♥富伊
Oh, my God. Fucking Foy!
小胡子护理店的老板
The owner of the Moustachery.
快看 他亲她呢
Oh, look at that. He's kissing her.
-还是舌吻 -他妈的 富伊
- He's frenching her. - Fucking Foy!
也许你应该蓄个胡须
Maybe you should grow a moustache.
不 我可蓄不起
No, I can't afford it.
面霜 蜜蜡 乳液什么的
The creams, the waxes, the lotions.
我可没那钱
I don't have the money.
富伊这个混♥蛋♥
Fucking Foy!
艾伯特 我们去教堂吧
Hey, Albert, maybe we should just go to church.
应该能让你好受点
It'll make you feel a lot better.
教堂不会...
Church is not gonna...
看 是冰
Oh, hey, look! It's the ice!
怎么会这么大
Why is it so big?
这样就不会融化
So it doesn't melt.
可真齐整啊
That's so neat.
这个制♥作♥过程还是挺有意思的
I know. It's actually really interesting how they do it.
一家波士顿的公♥司♥
It's this one company out in Boston
从结冰的湖和池塘里
that basically cuts it in big blocks
把冰切成大块
from frozen lakes and ponds,
用船只运到...
and they just ship it all over the...
上帝啊 上帝啊
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
这事儿黄的也太快了
That went south so fast!
绝不能犯错 孩子们
And make no mistake, my children.
那些肆无忌惮的人们
There shall be swift and righteous justice
很快就会受到相应的制裁
on all free grazers.
让他们再也不敢
No more shall they nibble wantonly
从我们这里顺手牵羊
at the teat of our coffers.
《圣经》里的一段话
And that's just exactly like that part in the Bible
也说明了这个道理
that applies to that situation.
我还要为詹姆斯·爱迪生的家人
I would also like to offer a heartfelt prayer
致以最真诚的祈祷
to the family of James Addison,
今天早晨
who was killed this morning
詹姆斯·爱迪生在卸冰的时候去世了
while unloading the ice shipment.
詹姆斯 整个七月我们都会在
James, we will think of you lovingly this July
喝夏日冰饮的时候想到你
as we sip the cold summer beverages
你却为此付出了生命
for which you gave your life.
他们还是会用那该死的冰块
They're still gonna use the fucking ice.
在我们结束今早的活动之前
Now, before we end this morning's service,
我想欢迎一下我们的两位新成员
I would like to welcome two new members to our community.
路易斯·巴恩斯和他的妹妹安娜
Lewis Barnes and his sister, Anna.
他们刚搬到老树桩镇
They've just moved here to Old Stump
他们计划建一座农场
and they plan to build a farm.
让我们祝福他们
And we wish them all the luck.
好了 今天的仪式到此结束
Well, that concludes today's service.
愿上帝在未来的一个星期保佑你们
So, may God bless you for another week
还有要小心美洲狮
and there is a mountain lion warning in effect.
小胡子护理店
头发面部营养液
头发面部营养液
头发面部营养液
胡须营养液
胡须精华素
胡须精华素
胡须精华素
是你啊
Hey, you.
集市要开始了
So, the fair's coming up...
我刚还在想 我们一会可以去买♥♥衣服
and I was thinking that we could go dress shopping later.
我刚还在想 你该买♥♥新裙子了
I was thinking you need a new dress.
很贵的那种吗
Something expensive?
蠢贵蠢贵的
Stupidly expensive!
好吧
Okay.
天啊
Oh, Jesus. Wow.
你好啊 艾伯特
Hi, Albert.
你好
Hello.
怎么啦 哥们 没见你来过这儿啊
What's up, kiddo? Never seen you in here before.
随便看看
Just browsing.
行啊
Yeah.
可你没胡子呢
You don't have a moustache, though.
我知道 我正考虑蓄呢
No, I know. I was thinking about growing one.
抱歉 我没听清...
I'm sorry, I can't...
-我说我正考虑蓄胡子 -这样啊
- I said I was thinking about growing one. - Oh.
抱歉 我去下洗手间
Excuse me, I have to use the powder room.
那你准备留什么样的胡子呢
And just what kind of moustache are you looking to grow?
大胡子
Um, a big one.
就那种 沿着嘴巴边缘
Like one of those ones that goes down
一直往下长
along the side of my mouth,
再从下巴边缘往上长
and then goes up the edge of my jaw,
然后和鬓角连在一起
and then becomes my sideburns,
最后和头发连在一起
and then becomes my hair.
莫比乌斯胡
A Mobius moustache.
莫比乌斯胡 就是它
Mobius moustache, that's the one.
好吧
Yeah. Um...
你应该知道 留那种胡须
You should know that kind of moustache
可得花不少钱
is a very costly facial accessory.
是啊 我知道
Yeah, I know that.
可你只是个牧羊的
Well, you're a sheep farmer.
我问你
Let me ask you something.
你这么做觉得很爽是吗
You feel good about what you're doing?
我做什么了
What exactly am I doing?
撬别人的女友 这就是你干的好事
Stealing a guy's girlfriend. That's what you're doing.
觉得很舒服是吗
You feel good about that?
我说 是露易丝甩的你 朋友
Hey, Louise dumped you, my friend.
她想要一个更能满足她的人
It's not my fault
又不是我的错
she wanted someone with more to offer.
我可以给她一所豪♥宅♥
I can give her a lavish home.
温暖的毛毯 包装精美的糖果
Warm blankets, wrapped candies.
你行吗 艾伯特
Can you say the same, Albert?
你买♥♥得起有包装的糖果给露易丝吗
Can you give Louise wrapped candies?
操你丫的
You know what? Fuck you, man.
没错 她最近都操着呢
Yeah, that's what she's doing.
酒 吧