失败者（2025）

The world's underdogs have grossout moves for overcoming
用来克服生活中几乎每个难题
just about every problem life can throw at them.
所以为了成功克服最具挑战性的关卡
So just how gross do you have to be to succeed
究竟需要有多恶心
in the most challenging level of all?
（线上载入中）
这是一场大规模的多角色竞技场死亡对决
A massive multi-character arena-based death match.
或是在动物界中 这被称为非洲大草原
Or as it's known in the animal kingdom, the African savanna.
充满这种趾高气扬 爱出风头的终极大魔王
Chock-full of swaggering bigshot bosses like these showboats.
诀窍就像在监狱的第一天
The trick is, like prison, on the first day,
你要挑战最强的那个
you gotta shank the biggest guy you see.
你必须确立主导地位
You got to establish dominance.
所以当它们自己占据最好的资源时
So when they're taking all the best loot for themselves,
隐秘的动物英雄必须用其他方法赢得游戏
the underdogs have to win the game another way.
这表示要克服恶心感
By getting over their gag reflex
去吃其他玩家不想吃的东西
and going for the stuff nobody else wants.
在这种情况下 就是一桌美味的内脏 肠子和骨头
In this case, a tasty smorgasbord of offal, intestines, and bones,
还有些许炭疽 肉毒杆菌
seasoned with a pinch of anthrax, a dash of botulism,
和霍乱当调味料
and cholera to taste.
这就像是大自然版的寿司加油站
It's like nature's gas station sushi
只是少了生化武器的味道
but less biochemical weapon-y.
这不是我心目中的午餐 但我也不是它们其中一分子
Not my idea of lunch, but then I'm not one of these guys.
来认识这位玩家 内脏航行者23
Meet username VisceraVoyager23.
因为菜鸟大♥师♥69遇到一些版权问题
Because NoobMaster69 had some rights issues.
秃鹫不擅长狩猎或打斗
Vultures aren't big on hunting or fighting,
但涉及到开心地吞食腐烂
but when it comes to happily devouring the contents
充满苍蝇的骸骨场时 它们可是专业玩家
of a rancid, fly-infested boneyard, they are the pro gamers.
为了维持这个隐喻 它们的数据非常惊人
To keep this metaphor going, their stats are impressive.
它们能飞行到一万米的高度 一天能飞行三百多公里
They can fly up to 35,000 feet, cover 200 miles a day
能从近六公里外 发现一具约一米长的尸体
and spot a three-foot carcass from four miles away.
内脏航行者23进场时
And when VV23 drops in...
它会和一群伙伴组队
...she squads up with a whole party of sidekicks,
它们的特技一个比一个更恶心
each with a special skillset more disgusting than the last.
内脏航行者被科学家称为撕裂高手
VisceraVoyager is what scientists call a ripper,
或是澳洲人所称的碎尸者
or what Australians call a rippah.
擅长分解难啃的料
Great at breaking down the tough stuff.
它的伙伴 血腥死神擅长吞噬
While her buddy GoreReaper is a gulper
它那颗特制的脑袋专门用来
with a head specially suited to getting the good stuff
从难以触及的地方挖出精华部位
out of all those hard-to-reach places.
三号♥玩家 随你怎么称呼 则是所谓的拾荒者
And Player 3, Insert Name, is what's known as a scrapper.
它只是来挑残渣碎屑的
And he's going in for just a little slice.
最后是掏肛哥
And finally, there's butt guy.
这不算什么特质 比较像是个人偏好
Not exactly an attribute, more of a personal preference.
加油 掏肛哥
You go get him, butt guy.
说到挖掘腐烂尸体时
When it comes to mining a putrefying carcass...
个个都可以发挥作用
...everyone can play a part.
到最后
The end of the day,
在这场生命游戏中 秃鹫是组队玩家
vultures are team players in the game of life.
没有它们 这世界将淹没在层层尸体中
Not only would the world be knee-deep in dead bodies without them,
它们超强的胃酸 能消化掉所有毒素和细菌
their super-strong stomach acid digests away all the toxins,
这些尸体若未被处理
all the bacteria, that if left unchecked,
会让其他动物生重病
would leave other animals terribly sick,
或严重腹泻
or crapping through the eye of a needle.
在某种意义上 它们甚至可以说是英雄般
Literally, and some might even say heroically,
拯救了其他生物
saving their lives.
所以要谢谢秃鹫 这世界才得以远离疾病
So thanks to the vultures, the world is kept clean of disease,
瘟疫 还有那个家伙正在吃的东西
pestilence, and well, whatever it is that guy's eating.
大自然和其中所有生物 才能继续玩这场游戏
And Mother Nature, and all her charges, can keep on playing.
什么 谢谢你
What's that? Thank you?
不客气 水牛先生
You're welcome, Mr. Buffalo.
好了 隐秘的动物英雄在生命游戏中
Well, there you have it, the underdogs' secret to winning
成功闯关的秘技 就是做最恶心的自己
the game of life simply by being their disgusting selves.
所以给我便便吧 给我屁♥股♥打嗝浮力辅助器
So bring on the poop, bring on the butt-burp buoyancy aids,
给我便便扇 鼻涕吊床
the defecation fans, show me the snot hammocks,
给我淋上精♥液♥香水
shower me in semen-scented cologne,
帮我装屁♥眼♥安全密室
install me a butthole saferoom.
好 就连我的恶心忍♥耐度都爆表了 关机吧
Okay, even I've hit my own grossout limit, so let's just, we're gonna shut it down.