失败者（2025）

大家好 我是瑞安·雷诺兹
Hello there. I'm Ryan Reynolds.
对
Yeah, hmm.
就是那个瑞安·雷诺兹
That Ryan Reynolds.
我是电影演员
I'm a film actor,
我偶尔也涉足电视和其他行业
occasionally I dabble in television and other industries.
我也是父亲
I'm also a father.
但我已经准备好摆脱这些破事了
But I'm ready to move on from all of that crap.
接下来要涉足什么
So what's next?
野生动物 就是这个
Wildlife, that's what.
不 不是这种自以为是的家伙
Nope, not these blowhards.
它们不需要我的帮助 我是为了这群家伙而来的
They don't need my help. I'm here for these guys.
大自然的冷板凳选手们
Nature's benchwarmers.
我说的可是顶级怪咖
I'm talking grade-A freaks
它们那些荒诞诡异 超乎想像的异常生活
and their freakin' bizarre, weird, freakshow lives.
准备好迎接隐秘的动物英雄吧
Get ready for the Underdogs.
这群家伙是最恶心 最诡异的
These guys are the grossest, weirdest...
也是生命这部伟大电影中 最意想不到的明星
...the most unlikely stars in the great movie of life.
现在轮到它们大放异彩了
Now it's their time to shine.
无论哪里有明目张胆的恶作剧
Wherever there is blatant mischief,
无论哪里有懦弱之举
wherever there is abject cowardice,
无论哪里有难以忍♥受的性张力
wherever there is unbearable sexual tension...
那里就会有隐秘的动物英雄
...that's where you'll find the underdogs.
年轻岁月 交给你们了
You tell 'em, Green Day.
我是瑞安·雷诺兹
I'm Ryan Reynolds.
而我全力支持这群怪胎
And I endorse these weirdoes.
《隐秘的动物英雄》
（巴厘）
欢迎来到我的家
Welcome to my home.
这是一座俯瞰印度洋的热闹寺庙
It's a busy temple overlooking the Indian Ocean.
也是一场巧妙诈术的绝美舞台
And a beautiful setting for an ingenious hustle.
这是我 一只长尾狝猴
This is me, a long-tailed macaque.
有人说我听起来像瑞安·雷诺兹
Some say I sound like Ryan Reynolds.
我也不知道为什么 我又没去过加拿大
I don't know why. I've never been to Canada.
（旁白并非瑞安·雷诺兹）
这集故事是关于像我们这种被低估的角色
This is the story of how underdogs like us can get ahead
如何靠着微不正当的手段闯出一片天
through slightly underhanded means.
例如贼头贼脑耍诡计
Generalized scheming.
偷窃
Thievery.
也许还有一点点的敲诈勒索
Also, maybe just a little bit of light, uh, racketeering.
不太懂我的意思
Not sure what I mean?
天啊
给大家示范一下
Take it away, guys.
啊
Ah!
大家总说犯罪没好报
They say crime doesn't pay.
对我们来说却有好报
Sure does in our case.
真正的报酬是食物
The real prize is food,
我们发现一个诀窍 只要抢走观光客的破烂东西
which we figured out we're given in exchange
再还给他们 他们就会给我们食物
for returning the tourists' trashy-ass belongings.
干得好
Nice work.
（小偷）
但小偷小抢只是个开始
But petty theft, that's just the beginning.
这世上被看扁的族群个个身怀绝技
There are underdogs out there with a whole host of special skills,
我正好有个任务 需要召集最顶尖的人才
and I've got a job in mind that calls for the best of the best.
我要打造一支狡猾动物特攻队
I'm building a crack team of devious animals,
队员来自世界各地
drawn from all over the world.
每个都是老练的骗徒
Each one a hustler.
擅长自己独门的诈术
Each one a master of their own unique con.
（伪装大♥师♥）
（卧底）
它们是单打独斗的行家
Experts when working alone.
（诱饵）
但若能集结起来 我就拥有一支
But put 'em all together and I've got the lineup I need
能完成完美抢案的梦幻阵容
to pull off the perfect heist.
（代罪羔羊）
（嫌犯一个比一个怪）
首先我们需要一个卧底高手
First up, we need someone who knows how to go undercover.
深藏不露的高手
Deep undercover.
（印尼）
但这里一无所有
But there's no one here.
真的吗
Or is there?
你刚刚被这条毛茸茸的躄鱼骗了
Oh, you've just been fooled by the hairy frogfish.
（伪装大♥师♥）
它那一身花俏的装饰 一点也不低调
His flamboyant frills aren't my idea of subtle,
但在这海底 那正是它能完美隐身
but down here, they allow him to blend in perfectly
潜伏狩猎的关键
while he goes hunting.
不过水流一变 它的伪装就被揭穿了
The change of current has just blown his cover.
对一个靠奇袭过活的家伙来说 这可不是什么好事
That's bad news for a guy who relies on the element of surprise.
但你想在海洋的底层混
But you don't live life as a bottom-feeder
就不能没有几个看家本领
without having a few tricks up your sleeve.
包括走路这招
Including walking.
对一条鱼来说还不错吧
That's not bad for a fish, huh?
但见识过这家伙后 我学会了见怪不怪
But with this guy, I've learned to expect the unexpected.
现在它要驾着自己的身体转移阵地
Now he just has to motor his boat to a new location,
寻找下一个目标
his next big target.
这地方看起来不错 黑暗的裂缝里有满满的猎物
This place looks pretty good. Plenty of prey in these dark crevices.
让我想起明尼阿波利斯机场的那间厕所
Reminds me of that airport bathroom in Minneapolis.
来看它大显身手
Now, watch the master at work.
一次快速的伪装大变身
A quick disguise change
只需要整整两周
that takes... two... whole... weeks.
什么 两个完整的工作周
Two, what, two full business weeks?!
哇
Wow.
好吧 所以它不是地球上最有效率的罪犯
Okay, so he's not the most efficient criminal on Earth.
但只要给它336小时
But you give him a mere 336 hours,
它就能从如仲冬般的惨白肤色
and he has transformed from a mid-winter pale
变身成夏末般的深色杀手风格
to a late summer dark and deadly.
刚好可以完美融入新的猎场
That's perfect for blending in to his new hunting grounds.
就像我用的浏览器 无痕模式 宝贝
And just like my Internet browser, incognito mode, baby.
哇
Wow.
现在它只要设下诱饵 等猎物上钩
Now all he's gotta do is set the bait and reel 'em in.
那诱饵是什么
What's the bait?
是一块改造过的鱼鳍 看起来像条虫
Oh, you know, it's a bit of modified fin that looks like a worm.
有点腥味 但有嚼劲
It's a little gamey, but, uh, it's also, you know, chewy,
不好消化
impossible to digest.
那条毫无防备的可怜小鱼
Oh, that poor unsuspecting fish.
我们会怀念你的
He will be missed.
几千分之一秒的时间 它就没了
Gone, in a few thousandths of a second.
而那只是开胃菜
And that was just the appetizer.
主菜来了
There's the main course.
还有甜点
And there's dessert.
除了消化有点困难
And besides a little indigestion,
它是完美的隐形杀手
he's the perfect hidden hitman.
必须纳入我的阵容
And a must for my lineup.
可惜像我这种国际名人是别想低调了
Sadly, with my international notoriety, I've no hope of going incognito.
但光靠潜伏是无法完成任务的
But you do not get the job done with undercover work alone.
我们需要情报 大量的情报
We need intel, and lots of it.
（密歇根）
大多数动物都遵循着大家熟知的规矩
Most animals out there subscribe to the same tired deal we all do.
努力工作 尽力而为 循规蹈矩 你就会得到回报
You work hard, you try your best, follow the rules, and you'll be rewarded.
但我们骗子有几个词
Well, we hustlers have a word
专门形容轻信这套规则的动物
for animals who fall for those instructions:
傻瓜
suckers.
靶子
Marks.
猎物
Targets.
笨蛋
Morons.
这些森莺过着典型美国梦的生活
These warblers are living the all-American dream.
有小小的白色栅栏
Teeny, tiny white picket fences,
为了养家糊口日复一日工作
working day in and day out to put food on the table
好让它们几个孩子能成长茁壮
so their 2.5 kids can grow big and strong.
但孩子们对父母
And deeply resentful of their parents
和他们的辛劳工作深怀不满
and all their hard work.
对 那群小屁孩
Yes, those little won't understand it
要等到自己有小孩才会明白
till they have their own kids.
但其中一只雏鸟
But one of their little ones is turning out to be
长得比其他雏鸟大得多
much bigger than the others.
要理解为什么
To understand why that is,
我们要倒回去看一下
we need to rewind the tape a little.
（暂停）