中年失恋日记（2022）

Everyone needs the money. Except maybe you don't.
每个人都需要钱 也许你不需要
With your hot, rich husband.
毕竟你的老公性感又有钱
We have our own separate bank accounts. It's not any of your fuckin' business.
我们有各自的银行账户 况且这他妈不关你的事
Why so touchy? I was just making conversation.
为什么这么敏感？我只是在聊天而已
It's really nice.
真的很不错
Can we have a minute to sit here and feel the vibe of the place?
我们能不能坐在这里 感受一下这里的气氛？
Sure, yeah. Take all the time you need. I'll wait for you in here.
当然可以 慢慢来 我在卧室里等你们
[sighs]
[sighs]
[sighs]
（你的回忆 2021年12月15日）
Motherfucker!
他妈的混♥蛋♥！
We're leaving, but they love it. I'll see if I can nudge them up to two.
我们要走了 不过他们很喜欢这里 我会试着说服他们出价到200万
I like them.
我喜欢他们
I'd really like to see them get this.
我真的很希望他们能买♥♥到这里
I don't trust you.
我不信任你 这房♥子有什么问题吗？噪音？
Is there something wrong with the apartment? Noise?
Mice? A bad smell?
老鼠？难闻的味道？ 你最好现在就告诉我
It's better you tell me now.
Nothing, I promise.
没有问题 我保证
I'm just rooting for love.
我只是在为爱加油
This is who Colin left me for.
这就是让柯林弃我而去的人
[Billy] Oh!
He's cute. How old is he?
很可爱啊 他多大了？
He's not cute. He's diabolical. And that blond hair looks like a dye job.
才不可爱 这家伙像是恶魔 而且金发看起来像染的
I wonder how I'd look with blond hair. It would really pop on screen.
不知道我染金发会是什么样 上电视肯定很惹眼
So how did you find out?
所以你是怎么发现的？
Suzanne. She saw them together moving into Colin's new apartment.
苏珊 她看到他们一起搬进了柯林的新公♥寓♥
What kind of friend tells you these things?
什么朋友会告诉你这种事？
What, was she gonna not tell me? She saw them.
难不成她要瞒着我吗？她亲眼看到了
Is that the hot guy you hate from work?
他是你讨厌的那个帅哥同事吗？
- I think I follow him. - Unfollow him.
-我好像有关注他 -那就取消关注
This is from our company's Christmas party. I introduced them.
这是在公♥司♥圣诞派对上照的 是我介绍他们认识的
- [sighs] - [Billy] That's cold.
太残忍♥了 和伴侣的同事出轨
- Having an affair with someone from work. - Not an affair.
这不叫出轨 他为泰勒离开了我 只不过没勇气承认而已
He left me for Tyler, then didn't have the balls to admit it.
But it's good Colin's with a young guy.
但柯林找了个年轻人 这其实是好事 让他尽情享受中年风流韵事
Let him have his middle-aged fling.
He will quickly realize that having a twink boyfriend
很快他就会意识到 找个小屁孩男友
is a shallow, empty life that leads nowhere.
只是一种没有结局的肤浅空虚生活 无意冒犯
No offense.
Actually, it leads to a life of mind-blowing sex.
实际上是一种尽享疯狂性♥爱♥的生活
- You remember sex, don't you? - Vaguely.
你还记得性♥爱♥吧？
不太记得了
And you're really not helping.
而且你在帮倒忙
Our company has a table
明天晚上 我们公♥司♥ 在中♥央♥公园保护委员会订了晚宴
at the Central Park Conservancy dinner tomorrow.
Tyler is gonna be there.
泰勒也会去 我恐怕会把餐刀插到他的脖子里
I'm afraid I might stick a steak knife in his neck.
That's a nice butch fantasy.
真是个富有男子气概的幻想
But what you should do is just play it cool until it fizzles out.
不过你该保持冷静 让事情平息下来
Really?
真的吗？
You really don't think it's over?
你真的不觉得我们结束了？
No. I do not think it's over.
不 我觉得你们还没结束
I agree. Couples break up and get back together all the time.
我同意 情侣分分合合很正常 你看看乔纳森一家
- Look at the Jonathans. - That's right.
没错 几年前他们也分开过两个月
They broke up for a couple months a few years ago
when Jonathan had that thing with Jorge,
因为乔纳森和何塞搞到了一起
the Mexican travel agent who he thought looked like Ricky Martin.
就是那个墨西哥旅行代理人 他认为他长得像瑞奇马丁
He almost moved to Puerto Vallarta.
他差点搬到巴亚尔塔港
I thought he just loved it there.
我以为他喜欢那里而已
You can like it for two weeks.
住两周还可以 再久一些 感觉就像困在同性恋少女成人礼一样
Then it's like being trapped at a gay quinceañera.
The point is it was a fling.
重点是 那只是一时冲动
He got it out of his system, and they're back together.
他爽完后 两个人又复合了
Thanks. That does give me some hope.
这倒是给了我一些希望
Okay, this is starting to sound like a cautionary tale.
好吧 虽然这话听着像警世故事
Please, do not have a baby with Colin.
但拜托你别和柯林养孩子
I'll have nobody left to go to dinner with.
我已经不剩什么朋友一起吃饭了
Exactly. And we're too old to find a new friend.
没错 我们这种年纪也交不到新朋友
[jazzy music playing]
- Hey, Jack. Hey, Millie. - [Millie whines]
嗨 杰克 嗨 米莉
[panting]
I really am sorry about you and Colin.
你跟柯林的事 我真的很遗憾
What do you mean?
什么意思？
Didn't you split up?
你们不是分手了吗？
- What makes you think that? - The boxes, the suitcases.
你怎么会这么想？
箱子和行李什么的
The U-Haul parked out front.
还有门前的搬家公♥司♥货车
Some hot little number was helping him.
还有个帅气的小伙子帮他
It looked like the beginning of one of my favorite poems,
简直像是我最爱的一首“诗”的开头
Pack My Box. [chuckles]
《快来收拾我》
I still have the VHS somewhere.
我应该还留着录像带
- If you want to check it out. - Oh, thanks.
如果你想看的话
My VCR was stolen in 1992.
不必了 我的录像机 在1992年就被偷走了
Anyway,
总之
I don't care what people say.
我不在乎别人怎么说
I always thought you were the good-looking one.
我一直认为你才是长得帅的那一个
Thank you?
谢谢？
Did he say anything to you?
他有跟你说什么吗？
Yes.
有的
"Goodbye." Hah!
“再见”
- Don't you just hate men? - [bell dings]
男人多讨厌啊
[pensive music playing]
Is Colin ever going to pick up his Wall Street Journal,
柯林到底拿不拿他的《华尔街日报》
or is he just gonna let them pile up?
还是任凭它们堆在这里？
I'll take care of it.
我会处理的
[upbeat music playing]
Happy Central Park Conservancy.
中♥央♥公园保护委员会晚宴快乐
Well, whatever you are selling tonight, I am buying.
不管你今晚要卖♥♥什么 我都会买♥♥
- [laughs]You're not exactly my customer. - Ha-ha!
你不是我的目标客人
- Uh, thought you might need this. - Why?
-我猜你需要来一杯 -为什么？
Good news, bad news.
好消息和坏消息
- Bad news first. - Tyler's sitting next to you.
-先说坏消息 -泰勒会坐在你旁边
Ugh. And did he bring his new boyfriend?
他带了新男友来？
No. He doesn't have a plus-one. None of us do.
不 他没有带另一半 我们都没带
But now for some better news. Claire Lewis is here.
不过说到好消息 克莱尔刘易斯也来了
Did you talk to her?
你跟她谈过了吗？
I started to, but then she just handed me her empty champagne glass
我正要和她聊 但她把空酒杯递给了我
and said, "I'll take another, dear."
然后说：“再给我拿一杯 亲爱的”
[chuckles] Where is she?
她在哪里？
Inside, bidding on the silent auction.
在里面 正在无声竞拍
I'm gonna go say hi and tell her how excited we are
我去打个招呼
告诉她 我们很期待卖♥♥她的公♥寓♥
- about selling her apartment. - Mm! Nice.
不错嘛
[chuckles]
Thank you.
谢谢
No, no. That's for Claire.
不 那是给克莱尔的
Claire! Michael Lawson.
克莱尔！我是麦克劳森
I'm sorry. Do I know you?
对不起 我认识你吗？
Michael Lawson, Stanley's friend?
麦克劳森 斯坦利的朋友？
Uh, broker who came to see your beautiful home.
房♥产经纪人 去看过你那间漂亮的公♥寓♥
Oh! Yes. I'm sorry, the broker. There have been so many of those.
是啊 抱歉 我见的房♥产经纪人太多了
And you're wearing a tux.
而且你还穿着燕尾服
You know, all men look the same in a tux.
男人穿上燕尾服都一个模样
Every time I see a fat ass in a monkey suit, I think it's my husband.
每次看到一个穿燕尾服的胖子 我都觉得是我丈夫
[laughs]
- You bidding on something? - Ah!
在竞拍吗？
A week at the Amanyara in Turks and Caicos.
特克斯和凯科斯岛 安曼亚拉度假村的一周假日
- Ah. - I thought I could bring my daughter.
我想着我可以带女儿去
Although she doesn't want me to call her my daughter since she's nonbinary now.
不过她不喜欢我叫她女儿 因为她现在是非二元性别
Actually, the idea of sharing a room with her,
实际上 和她待在同一个房♥间
I mean them, excuse me,
抱歉 我的意思是“ta们”
would be the opposite of a vacation.
完全称不上是度假
But maybe I'll have a new love in my life by the "one-year expiration date."
不过 在“一年有效期”内 兴许我到时已经找到了新的爱人
"Breakfast and airfare not included."
“不包括早餐和机票”
- I'm sure you will. - Right.
你肯定会的
是啊 也许我还会找到 一只会拉钱粑粑的独角兽呢
And maybe I'll also have a unicorn that shits money.
My partner and I are excited
我和我的搭档很期待
to be showing you the presentation we put together for your apartment.
向你展示一下 我们为你的公♥寓♥做的陈述报告
Um, your timing of the market is just top-notch.
你的挂房♥上市时机简直太合适了
Well, I've always been known for my perfect timing.