中年失恋日记（2022）

Hey, FloJo, can you slow down a second?
喂 花蝴蝶 你能慢一点吗？
You know, this could be why I'm one of Manhattan Magazine's 50 most eligible men,
也许正因如此 我才被排在 《曼哈顿杂♥志♥》最合心意男士前50名
and you're not.
而你却没有
It's amazing how many times that comes up in a mile and a half.
你挺厉害的 能在2500米的距离内提这么多次
Are you coming to the event tonight? I'm not the only homo on the list.
你今晚要来参加活动吗？ 我不是邀请名单上唯一的同性恋
You could snag an eligible single of your own.
也许你能找到 某个合你心意的单身男士
Is Stanley gonna be there?
斯坦利会去吗？
No.
不会
It's Friday.
今天是星期五
He's got his table for one somewhere. Remember?
他总是独自外出吃晚餐
记得吗？
PS, if I ever start taking myself out to hot new restaurants on Friday nights
另外 要是我开始在周五晚上 独自去热门新餐厅吃饭
and posting pics of my lonely Negroni,
然后发寂寞尼格罗尼酒的照片
please reintroduce me to my dick.
请让我重新认识一下我的鸡鸡
Hah. Deal.
没问题
And, just asking...
我只想问问
...when is this teen girl nonsense between you two going to end?
你们两个之间的这场少女别扭 打算闹到什么时候？
What? It's not nonsense. He fucking betrayed me.
什么？这可不是胡闹 他居然他妈的背叛了我
W... Would you have gone to a dinner party at Colin's
你会在柯林甩掉我的一周后
the week after he kicked me to the curb?
参加他的晚餐派对吗？
- No! - Well...
-不会！ -那么…
But only partly out of loyalty to you.
但只有一部分原因是出于对你的忠诚
Your boy was a little dull.
那家伙有点无趣
- Bam! - Seriously? You always thought that?
-哎呀！ -真的？你一直都这么想？
Oh no. We are not doing that.
我可不想深聊 今晚务必来参加
- Just make sure you come tonight. - Wha...
I'll try. I've got a busy workday and lunch with my mom.
我会尽量 我今天的工作很忙 中午要和妈妈吃午饭
I'm gonna finally tell her that Colin left.
我终于打算告诉她柯林离开这件事
Oh, damn.
我靠 她不是超爱柯林的吗？
Doesn't she love Colin?
Yeah, for his looks and his money. She's deep that way.
是啊 超爱他的长相和财富 她一点也不肤浅
Hundred bucks says she was at that dinner party.
打赌100美元 我猜她也去了那个晚餐派对
Wait, wait, wait...
等等
（东34街 麦迪逊大道）
Whew! That salad was overrated, right?
那道沙拉也太名不符实了吧？
Eh...
It's crazy. The Times gushes, like the chef reinvented the Nicoise,
真扯淡 《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》都给夸上天了 说是厨师重新发明了尼斯沙拉
everybody trips over themselves to go try it, and then it's like,
大家争先恐后地前来品尝 结果尝完之后
"It was fine! It's a tuna salad. People, take a chill pill."
“还凑合吧！就是金枪鱼沙拉而已 你们吃片药冷静一下”
"Chill pill?" Mom, don't say chill pill. That's not okay.
“吃片药冷静一下”？ 妈妈 别这样说 这可不行
Chillax, honey. I didn't mean to offend your super hip ears.
淡定 亲爱的 我无意冒犯你那双超级时髦的耳朵
What is going on with you?
你怎么回事？
All day, you've either been monosyllabic or kind of a bitch.
这一整天 你要么只说一个字 要么表现得跟个贱♥人♥一样
Did I do something?
我做错什么了吗？
No, I'm sorry. It's not you. I just...
不是 对不起 和你无关 我…
I have something big to tell you, and it's harder than I thought.
我有件重要的事情要告诉你 这比我想象中还要难开口
Colin left.
柯林离开了
Left where?
离开哪里？
Left me.
离开我了
He walked out,
他搬走了
took all his shit, and dumped me in a text.
拿走了所有的东西 然后用一条短♥信♥甩了我
No. No, this can't be.
不 不可能
No, you seemed so in love at the birthday party.
不会的 你们在生日派对上看起来很相爱啊
What did you do?
你做了什么？
Did you cheat?
你搞外遇了？
Uh... Of course not!
当然没有！
This makes no sense! Think back.
这根本说不通啊！好好回想一下
Did you do something to push him away?
你是不是做了什么把他逼走的？
No. Jesus, believe me, I keep asking myself the same question,
没有 天啊 相信我 我也一直在问自己这个问题
but it'd be nice if it wasn't the first thing my mother went to.
可我妈居然劈头盖脸就问这个 我…
My...
Okay, Mom, you don't have to get hyster...
妈妈 你也不必这么歇斯…
- Michael! Down here! - Mom?
麦克！我在下面！
妈妈？
Oh my God. Are you okay?
我的天 你没事吧？
I'm alive!
我还活着！
But I'm very disappointed in you!
但我对你很失望！
I...
我…
- The hospital just sent her home? - Yeah. She's banged up, but she's okay.
医院让她回家了？
是啊 她受了点伤 但没有大碍
Dad's there. I'll check in on her a bit later.
爸爸在陪她 我晚点再去问候一下
The kitchen has a breakfast nook and a walk-in pantry, so...
厨房♥里有早餐区 和步入式餐具室 所以…
Oh!
Oh my God.
我的天
She's back early.
她提前回来了
Careful. You scuff a wall, you're telling Claire.
小心点 要是把墙蹭脏了 你要亲自告诉克莱尔
I'd like to keep my balls, thank you very much.
我还想活命呢 多谢
Stanley! Wow!
斯坦利！哇！
- Nice surprise. - Yes, for all of us, huh?
-真没想到啊 -是啊 我们大家都没想到吧？
Hello, Michael.
你好 麦克
Hi.
嗨
Claire bought a piece at the Sayre Gomez show,
克莱尔在赛尔戈麦斯的画展上 买♥♥了一幅作品
and I wanted to supervise the installation.
我想亲自监督他们安装
Whatever you need to do.
做你该做的吧
He's just hurting, you know.
他只是在伤心而已
I do, but come on, we're almost 50.
我明白 但我们都快50岁了
Girl, didn't I go to your 50th, like, two years ago?
姑娘 我不是两年前 已经庆祝过你的50岁生日了吗？
Shut up, Suzanne. Everybody shaves.
闭嘴 苏珊 大家都会把年龄少说几岁
I'd like to get a peek at your driver's license sometime.
我也想偷♥窥♥一下你的驾照呢
Ooh!
Ooh!
Okay, we've been friends for 20 years.
好吧 我们做朋友20年了
I know you're going through a lot,
我知道你眼下经历了很多事情
but are we seriously not even going to talk?
但我们不打算好好聊聊吗？
Yes.
是啊 你背叛别人时 他们通常不想和你说话
When you betray people, they often don't wanna talk to you.
Okay, come on.
行吧 拜托
"Betray" is a pretty dramatic word.
“背叛”这个词有些夸张了 你能不能让我解释…
- Can you even let me ex... - Ah... I'm in the middle of a showing.
我在带客户看♥房♥♥呢
It's super perfume-y in here.
这里的香水味太重了
I'm so sorry.
真抱歉
No, no. it's great. I'll call you back.
不 好极了 我再打给你
We just got an offer.
我们刚收到一个出价
- Really? - Yes!
真的吗？谁的？谁？等等
From who? Whom? Wait.
It doesn't matter! Someone from last week's open house.
没关系！某位上周参加开放日的人士
It's a smidge under asking, but I bet we can get Claire on board.
比要价稍微低一点点 但我们肯定能一起说服克莱尔
- You think? Oh my God. - Yes!
你这么想吗？我的天 这对我太重要了 我好兴奋！
I need this. I'm so excited!
- Me too! I'm all tingly down there. - Oh-ho!
我也是！我已经兴奋难耐了
You see that text? She says she's coming up the block.
你看到那条短♥信♥了吗？ 她说她正在来街区的路上
- Oh God, I hope she takes this offer. - Yeah.
天啊 但愿她能接受这个出价
Second notice on the liquor bill for Colin's party.
柯林派对的酒水账单 已经给我发第二次通知了
Based on this, everyone there should've died of alcohol poisoning.
根据账单来看 所有人都应该死于酒精中毒才对
He should really help you out with that.
这件事他确实应该帮你 告诉他你需要一些钱
Tell him you need some cash.
Oh, believe me, I'd love to,
相信我 我也很想
but how could I ask him for money without sounding like a pathetic loser?
但如果我向他要钱 不就像个可怜的窝囊废吗？
Like this. "Bitch, you wanna leave? The price is half your shit."
你这样说：“贱♥人♥ 你想离开？ 代价是你一半的家当”
- Hey. - God!
-嘿 -天啊！
Why are you jumping up at me like that the second I walk in the door?
为什么我一进门 你们就这样冲我跳过来？
It gives me flashbacks to when I had to raise my children.
这让我想起养娃那时候
Sorry. We're just all worked up because we got a great offer.
抱歉 我们都很激动 因为我们刚刚得到了一个很棒的出价
Oh!
- It's a bit under asking, but... - No.
-虽然比要价稍低一些 但… -不行
No?
不行？
I am not taking less than asking
我不接受比要价低的出价
just so my cradle-robbing ex-husband can jump-start his bloated new life.
以便我那位吃嫩草的老牛前夫 展开他全新的人生
Yes, he's fatter now.
没错 他现在居然更胖了
Who knew that he could shack up with his Pilates instructor
谁能想到他和自己的普拉提教练同居
and somehow end up with an even bigger ass?
反而长得更肥硕了？
- But... - Me. I knew.
-但是… -我早就想到了
Listen.
听着
I hear you, but we've had dozens of showings, and this is the only bite.
我理解你 但来看♥房♥♥的人已经有好几十位了
而这是唯一一个出价
And our asking price might actually be a little high
况且我们的要价 要比同街区的其他公♥寓♥
for the comps in this neighborhood.
稍微高出一些
That is all gobbledygook to me.
这些对我来说都是胡扯
克莱尔 我们带了很多客户看♥房♥♥ 这是我们唯一收到的出价