中年失恋日记（2022）

（格拉梅西公园 东21街）
- Oh my God! - Really?
天啊！
认真的吗？我特意给你发了照片 就是为了避免这种反应
I sent you a photo to prepare you
specifically so I wouldn't get that reaction.
Sorry. It's a little angrier in person.
抱歉 真人似乎更愤怒一些
Kind of like Ellen DeGeneres.
有点像艾伦德杰尼勒斯
But don't worry, you'll look like a cover girl by the time I'm through. Sit.
不过别担心 等我搞定后 你会像封♥面♥女♥郎♥一样漂亮 坐吧
Oh! And, uh... this'll make you feel better.
这东西能让你感觉好些
Hmm.
We got our big-ass commission check
我们拿到了 克莱尔公♥寓♥的大笔佣金支票！
on Claire's apartment!
Oh, snap!
天啊
Oh, look at all those lovely zeroes.
瞧瞧这些可爱的零 真是一笔特别的数目
- Mm. - They really get that number on its feet.
I'm gonna use this money as a down payment to buy out Colin's half of the apartment.
我要用这笔钱做首♥付♥ 买♥♥下柯林手里的公♥寓♥份额
Seriously?
真的吗？
When did you talk to him?
你什么时候跟他聊的？
I will today, at the wedding.
我今天会在婚礼上找他
It's supposed to be on the market six months after we separated,
我们分居六个月后 这个公♥寓♥就要在市场上出♥售♥了
but I really wanna stay here.
但我真的想留在这里
In spite of everything that's happened, I love this place. It's my home.
尽管发生了这么多事 我还是喜欢这里 这是我的家
Of course it is. Did you always have this little scar above your eye?
当然了 你的眼睛上面一直有这个疤吗？
No, that's a permanent souvenir of the gay ski weekend smackdown.
没有 这是同性恋滑雪周末 带来的永久纪念品
Does it happen to look... sexy?
看起来性感吗？
- Sure. - Ugh, I really should sue Billy.
当然
我真的应该起诉比利才是
Because of him, I have to see Colin
多亏了他 我要顶着这张脸 在几个月后第一次见柯林
for the first time in months, looking like this.
He'll probably be with his new boyfriend, the hot architect.
他可能会和他的新男友 那个帅气建筑师一起
How do you know? Did you ask the Jonathans?
你怎么知道？你问乔纳森一家了吗？
No, but I was invited with a guest, so I'm sure he was too.
没有 但我的邀请函上可以带同伴 他肯定也是
And by the look of those pics in Miami, they seem pretty serious.
从迈阿密的照片看 他们的关系似乎挺认真的
- Sorry, baby. - Thanks.
-真遗憾 宝贝 -谢谢
I've been meditating on it. I bought an app.
我一直在练习冥想 我买♥♥了一个应用
So I think I'm in a pretty zen place.
所以我觉得我现在很平静
- Okay. - Yeah.
-好吧 -是啊
There's nothing I can do about any of this.
反正我什么都做不了 我只能
- That's right. - I just have to...
...let it all go.
放下一切
- That's right. - Jesus! Can't you fix this?
-没错 -天啊！你不能完全遮盖住吗？
I look like the last one out of Chernobyl!
简直就像 切尔诺贝利最后一个幸存者！
Yeah, you seem super chill about the whole thing.
是啊 你似乎对一切的反应都很平静
Well, look, so Kai's friend told me that Kai found his father on 23andMe.
听着 凯的朋友告诉我 说凯在基因检测网上找到了他爸爸
Apparently, the guy lives in New York, and Kai is planning to meet him.
那家伙居然住在纽约 凯准备和他见面
Wow, bury the headline.
哇 这么大的新闻你还藏着
Not so much "bury" as "wait for Michael to unravel, and then you can have a turn."
与其说“藏着” 不如说是 “等麦克发泄完 你就有机会开口了”
Fair enough. How do you feel?
好吧 那你感觉如何？
Weird.
很奇怪
You know, this is a guy that I had a one-night stand with 26 years ago
我和这个人在26年前有过一♥夜♥情♥
in Amsterdam, Berlin, or Rome.
不在阿姆斯特丹、柏林 就是在罗马
And... I mean, it's been me and Kai all these years,
这么多年来 一直都是我和凯两个人
and now he suddenly wants a dad?
现在他突然想要爸爸了？
You have absolutely no memory of any of these guys?
你对这些人一点印象都没有吗？
Before you start slut-shaming,
你先别急着荡♥妇♥羞辱
do you remember all the one-nighters you had in your 20s?
你还记得自己20多岁时 有过一♥夜♥情♥的那些人吗？
I withdraw the question.
当我没问
Oh.
As much as I'm dying to talk to him about everything,
虽然我很想跟他好好谈一谈
- I don't wanna push it. - Yeah.
但我不想逼迫他
这样做是对的 让他自己找时机告诉你
You're doing the right thing. Let him tell you in his own time.
It's like coming out. You shouldn't force someone before they're ready.
就像出柜一样 在别人没准备好之前 别强迫他们
Like Brittany Blumberg did to a very confused 15-year-old boy
比如布列塔尼布伦贝格 强迫那位极其困惑的15岁男孩
just because he happened to know all of the lyrics to "Express Yourself."
就因为他知道 《表达自我》的全部歌♥词
Sure I look okay?
我看起来真的没事？
Yes! Just avoid direct sunlight and favor your good side.
没事！只要避开直接光照 一直展现脸的另一边就好
Hey, guys. You remember Wyatt from Colin's birthday?
嗨 各位 还记得柯林生日派对上的怀亚特吗？
That night was a blur for many reasons, but yes, nice to see you again, Wyatt.
诸多原因导致那晚的记忆很模糊
不过是的 很高兴再次见到你 怀亚特
You too. I'm sorry to hear about you and...
我也是 我很遗憾听到你和…
It's all good now. Manageable, anyway. Haven't seen him in a while.
现在已经没事了 至少能应付了 我好久没见到他了
The last time was not great.
上次见面可不顺利
I guess am a bit nervous. Do I look like I have makeup on?
我可能有点紧张 能看出我的脸上有妆吗？
Oh my God. Here, drink this, and calm the fuck down.
老天 给你 快喝吧 他妈的放松点儿
- Billy's wearin' more makeup than you. - I came right from the studio.
比利的妆比你还厚呢
我是直接从电台过来的
Yeah, but you touched it up in the car.
但你在车里还补了妆
I think we may need to have a talk
我们可能需要聊聊 成年人在私下做的事 年轻人
about what grown-ups do in private, young man.
You keep it up, Wyatt. Billy's chops could use a little bustin'.
继续努力 怀亚特 比利需要有人捉弄他一下
I gotta go to the ladies'. Any idea where it is?
我得去下女士洗手间 知道在哪里吗？
It's upstairs. I'll walk you.
在楼上 我带你去吧
Funny, and a gentleman with skin like a baby's ass.
风趣又有绅士风度 皮肤像婴儿的屁♥股♥一样嫩滑
Whatever do you see in him, Billy?
你到底看上他什么了 比利？
Wow, this may actually be a first second date.
这可能是你头一次和某人二度约会
Yeah, it's been a while since I've had one of those.
是啊 我已经很久没和人二度约会了
But I've been thinking about him,
我一直在想他
and he called, so I asked if he wanted to come.
他打电♥话♥给我 于是我问他想不想一起来
I really like the kid, Mikey.
我真的挺喜欢这孩子的 麦奇
I think I might give it the old college try.
我可能会像上学时那样全力以赴
That's so great, Billy.
那真是太好了 比利
Even if what you're trying for is literally still in college.
哪怕你全力以赴的对象确实还在上学
Ha ha.
I haven't seen him. I don't think he's here yet.
我没还看到他 他应该还没来
Well, then here's to the calm before the storm.
那就享受暴风雨前的宁静吧
Mm...
- There's Stanley. - Oh.
斯坦利来了
What's going on with him? He looks so sad.
他怎么了？看起来一副悲伤的模样
That's his gay wedding face.
那是他的同性恋婚礼表情
It's like every time he hears another "I do,"
他每次听到别人说“我愿意”
it just reminds him that he don't.
就会想起自己还是孤身一人
Hey, honey, how are you?
嘿 亲爱的 你好吗？
I'm...
我…
I...
我…
Oh, come on, now.
拜托 别为婚礼伤心 乔纳森一家找到了彼此
Don't be down about the wedding. The Jonathans found each other.
There's hope for everyone. You still have plenty of time.
大家都有希望 你还有很长的人生呢
Thank you for the patronizing sentiment,
感谢你如此屈尊俯就的安慰 但我并没有在为婚礼担心
but I'm not worried about the wedding.
As for having plenty of time, I'm not so sure about that either. I...
至于很长的人生 我也不敢太确定
I got a call from my doctor this morning.
我今天早上接到了医生的电♥话♥
- On a Saturday? - He got some test results.
-周六打电♥话♥？ -他收到了一些检查的结果
It's...
结果…
not good.
不太好
Uh... You're scaring me, Stanley. What is it?
你吓到我了 斯坦利 怎么了？
I have...
我得了…
breast cancer.
乳腺癌
- What? - He's joking.
-什么？ -他在开玩笑呢
I wish I were.
我倒是希望呢
Oh my God.
我的天
- I can't believe it. - Me either.
-真不敢相信 -我也是
But it's true. I have stage-one breast cancer.
但确实是真的 我得了一♥期♥乳腺癌
But you're a dude.
但你是个男人啊
Wait, have you always been a dude?
等等 你一直都是男人吗？
Sorry.
抱歉
Apparently, they caught it early,
显然他们发现得很及时
but I have to see my doctor on Monday to discuss treatment.
但我周一要去看医生 讨论治疗计划
Will you go with me? I need another pair of ears.
你能跟我一起去吗？ 我需要有人帮我听着点
I'm so wobbly, I'll probably miss half of it.
我情绪很不稳定 会错过一半他说的话
Of course. Don't worry. It'll be okay.
当然 别担心 不会有事的
That's what people say when they have no idea if it will be okay.
人们不知道是否会有事时 通常会说这句话
Don't look now.
别回头
There's Colin.
柯林来了
You know...
Oh, and the hot architect.
还有那个帅气的建筑师
You should go over, say hi. Get it out of the way.
你应该去打个招呼 趁早解决
He's right. Don't worry. It'll be okay.
他说得对 别担心 不会有事的
Oops.
哎呀
All right, I'll be back.
好吧 我一会儿回来
How do you think you got the titty cancer?