中年失恋日记（2022）

The number of young guys who wanna hook up with an older man is ridiculous.
想和大龄男人交往的年轻人 简直数不胜数
That's because you're on TV.
那是因为你是电视名人
Every shallow twink in the city wants to be with someone on TV.
这里所有的肤浅毛小子 都想和电视名人在一起
- Don't give yourself too much credit. - I've seen your profile on Grindr.
别把自己想得太厉害
我看到过你在Grindr上的资料
Nobody wants to fuck a post of a Donald Judd stack.
唐纳德贾德的书架帖子 可没什么性吸引力
That's my Instagram profile, dummy.
那是我的照片墙资料 傻瓜
I'm not on Grindr. It's nothing but bottoms.
我可不用Grindr 那上面全是受
And tops who are also bottoms.
就连攻也都受不拉几
Being single's an attitude.
单身是一种态度
The minute you are desperate for a relationship, never gonna find one.
一旦你过于急切 你就永远都找不到另一半
- Mm. - Well, Michael did. He hated being single.
麦克找到了 他不喜欢单身
We would go dancing and to bars.
我们总会去夜店跳舞 然后去酒吧
All he wanted was someone to settle down with.
他只想找个人安顿下来
I was not desperate.
我一点儿也不急切
Umm... Okay, you were focused.
好吧 你的目标很明确
I was not... Okay, yeah, I didn't love being single. All those planks.
我并没有…好吧 我不喜欢单身 平板支撑太累人了
Exactly.
没错
- So whatever it is, work it out. - Yeah.
所以不管怎么回事 把它解决掉
柯林是个了不起的家伙 我相信你们两个
Colin's a wonderful guy, and I believe in the two of you.
Hear hear.
同意
Thanks, guys.
谢谢你们
- Any word from Colin? - I'm sorry. He's a no-show.
-柯林有消息吗？ -抱歉 他不来了
Don't worry about it. I am sitting you with Claire Lewis.
别担心 我把你和克莱尔刘易斯安排坐一起
She and her husband are major league art collectors. They're getting a divorce.
她和她的丈夫是高级艺术收藏家 他们正在离婚
They're selling everything, including... the apartment.
准备把所有东西都卖♥♥掉 包括公♥寓♥
You're welcome.
不客气
Ooh. Claire!
克莱尔！
- Hi. - Hello.
-嗨 -你好
Mwah!
Claire, this is my dear friend
克莱尔 这位是我亲爱的好友
- and fabulous real estate agent... - Oh!
也是一位了不得的房♥产经纪人 麦克劳森
...Michael Lawson.
Michael, Claire Lewis, collector extraordinaire. Enjoy.
麦克 这位是 杰出的收藏家克莱尔刘易斯 慢聊
Interesting.
真有意思
This is my first time in years at the singles table.
这么多年来 这是我第一次坐在单身人士桌上
Oh! Uh...
I'm not single.
我不是单身
Oh.
I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood. I was sure Stanley...
抱歉 肯定是我误会了 斯坦利之前说…
No, my partner just couldn't make it. That's all.
我的另一半今晚来不了 仅此而已
I'm just single for the night.
我只是今晚单身
Oh, and my soon-to-be ex-husband is in a hurry to sell the apartment.
即将成为我前夫的那家伙 想快点卖♥♥掉我们的公♥寓♥
He says it's a white elephant. He doesn't want the headache in a dicey market.
他说那是个没用的累赘 也不想面对未知市场的风险
No, no, no. No, no. You cannot let him do that. I know that building.
不行 你可不能让他那样做 我了解那栋大楼
Anything with a terrace is extremely desirable.
只要是有露台的公♥寓♥ 绝对抢手
Well, I guess that makes me extremely desirable adjacent.
这么说来 我也成了抢手货
Oh!
Which, trust me, is the best thing I've heard in a long time.
相信我 这可是我近来听过最好听的话了
Oh, come on. You're fabulous.
拜托 你很漂亮啊
Well, we haven't picked a broker yet, so you're welcome to come and take a look.
我们还没选房♥产经纪人 所以欢迎你来看♥房♥♥
How about tomorrow?
不如明天吧？
Sure. Be there at 11 o'clock.
当然可以 11点见
But FYI, you've got competition.
不过顺便告诉你 你是有竞争对手的
I love a challenge.
我喜欢挑战
Well.
Cheers.
干杯
Hey, Suzanne, I'm close. Are you here?
苏珊 我马上就到了 你呢？
What? How far?
什么？还有多远？
Well, hurry up.
好吧 快点
Come on, you know how much this listing means.
拜托 你也知道挂出这个公♥寓♥ 对我们有多重要
Michael Lawson to see Claire Lewis.
麦克劳森 来见克莱尔刘易斯
I don't wanna fuck it up because one of us didn't prepare
我他妈的可不想搞砸了 就因为我们中的某一位
for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!
没有为纽约的交通堵塞做好准备！
- Is everything all right, sir? - Yeah. I'm sorry.
没事吧 先生？
没事 抱歉
- It's just been a rough couple of... - Elevator to the penthouse.
我只是这两天…
顶层公♥寓♥的电梯到了
Okay. Thanks, thanks.
好 谢谢
Hello, Michael. What was all that shouting on the phone downstairs?
你好啊 麦克 楼下在电♥话♥里大喊大叫是怎么回事？
- What? How did... - We have very proper doormen.
-什么？你是怎么… -我们的门卫很负责任
A raised voice, the use of profanity. It sets off alarm bells.
有人♥大♥声说话或者骂脏字 都会引起他们的注意
After all, one's ears are not garbage cans.
毕竟人的耳朵可不是垃圾桶
Just FYI, if there's a next time. Please do come in.
顺便告诉你 可不能再有下一回了 请进来吧
Oh my God.
我的天
This is...
简直是…
I feel like I'm in one of those 1930s movies
我感觉 仿佛身处一部 20世纪30年代的电影里
where the Depression is happening outside,
外面的世界正经历着经济大萧条
but up here, it's just Fred Astaire,
但这里却歌♥舞升平
and cocktails, and soirées.
人们把酒言欢
Well, I'm afraid there's been a good amount of depression happening
这里发生的事情 恐怕也不比萧条好到哪里去
up here as well.
That tends to be your emotional state when your husband of 28 years,
我当然会抑郁 毕竟结婚28年的丈夫
with whom you've raised two children in this apartment,
和你一起在这间公♥寓♥里 养了两个孩子的丈夫
comes home one day and tells you you're not fun anymore and moves out.
有一天回家 突然告诉你 他不再觉得你有趣 然后就搬走了
- So it was just like that? No warning? - None!
-就这样搬走了？没有任何警告？ -没有！
Goes off to work in the morning. "What do you want for dinner?"
出去上班时还问： “晚餐想吃什么？”
Came back, ruined my life, and then took a few things to his new apartment.
回家后就毁了我的人生 拿走几样东西 搬到了新公♥寓♥
So he'd already rented an apartment?
所以他已经提前租好了公♥寓♥？
I'm not fun?
我不再有趣？
He misses his poo window in the morning, his whole day is shot.
他是那种错过早上拉屎时间 就别扭一整天的人
You live with a person for decades, you think you know them,
和一个人同居几十年 以为自己了解对方
结果某一天却发生了这种事
and then one day, you find out this can happen.
Was he, you know, in hindsight, showing signs of unhappiness
事后回想一下 他有没有表现出任何不开心的迹像
that now you go, "That should have tipped me off?"
让你恍然大悟： “我本该意识到这一点”？
No, nothing! Completely normal.
不 没有！他完全正常
And then all of a sudden, the fat fuck says, "I need some space."
然后突然间 那个死胖子说： “我需要一些空间”
I didn't understand what he was talking about.
我不明白他到底是什么意思
There's 5,000 square feet in this apartment
这间公♥寓♥有460平方米
and a home in Amagansett.
阿默甘西特也有度假房♥
How much more space do you need?
你还需要多少空间？
And then he has the nerve to tell me
然后他居然还有胆量跟我说
I'm not being supportive enough about this.
在这件事上 我不够支持他
So he was asking you to be more positive about his need for space?
所以他需要一些空间 他还要求你表现出积极态度？
Can you even imagine?
你能想象吗？
He's leaving me, and I'm supposed to be all sympathetic and encouraging about it?
他要离开我 我还得表现得富有同情心、鼓励他？
He can go suck a dick. No offense.
滚去给人吹♥箫♥吧 无意冒犯
Please. But back to the space thing.
没关系 说回到给他空间那件事
Was he saying that you guys could maybe work it out
他有没有说过 如果你能理解他的空间需求
if you understood his need for space?
你们也许还能继续在一起？
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
我他妈的该怎么办？
Start all over again at my age?
我这个年纪 还要重新开始？
What if I never have sex again? What if I end up paying for companionship?
万一再也没人和我上♥床♥了呢？
万一我最终要花钱找人陪伴呢？
Oh, I don't think...
我不认为…
Uh, you're a very attractive...
你是个很有魅力的…
Don't kid yourself! I know women like that. Men too.
别胡扯了！ 我认识这样的女人 男人也是
Everybody wants young, young, young! No one is looking for someone my age.
大家都想找年轻人 没人稀罕我这种老家伙
I'm going to die alone.
我会孤独而死
How did this fucking happen to me?
这种事怎么会他妈的发生在我身上？
How in the fuck did you get up here? You are supposed to be announced.
你♥他♥妈♥的是怎么上来的？ 应该有人通知我才对啊
Thank you for coming.
谢谢你们过来
We'll be in touch.
我们再联♥系♥
Oh, and, Michael, don't forget our little talk about lobby etiquette.
对了 麦克 别忘了我们之前聊过的大堂礼仪
What is lobby etiquette?
大堂礼仪是什么？
It's about yelling and cursing in the lobby.
就是不能在大堂里大喊大叫骂脏话
Apparently, all bets are off once you get upstairs.
显然上楼之后 就没有这个规矩了
Well, she did seem to respond to us,
不管我来之前到底发生了什么
despite whatever the hell was goin' on before I got here.
她似乎对我们还是有回应的
She started talking about her husband leaving her, and it spooked me.
她开始聊自己的丈夫如何离开她 有点吓到我了
Our situations are not dissimilar.
我们的情况并没有什么不同
Ah! Tyler Hawkins.
泰勒霍金斯
Oh my God, déjà vu!
天呐 真是旧景重现啊！
The last time I ran into you guys was at the Beresford.
上一次撞见你们 还是在贝雷斯福德呢 真抱歉
Sorry. Oh...
Mm.
- I assume you're here to see Claire Lewis. - Oh! Love Claire.