两句恐怖故事

两句话恐怖故事
第二季第一集
在学校里 乖乖的
书包人
最后走的人请关灯
别闹了 很烦人
Stop that. It's so annoying.
桑怀斯·甘吉 我活着就是为了烦你
Oh Samwise Gamgee, you know I live to annoy you.
-过来 小子 -你们能让一下吗
- Come here boy. - Can you please move?
他们也让你来了吗
They put you in here too?
惊喜吧
Surprise, surprise.
他们以前也这样
They did it before.
-显然以后也会继续这样 -对
- Clearly they're going to keep doing it. - Right.
你去了那个派对吗
Hey, did you go to that party?
嗯 辛迪亚家的那个派对
Yeah, the one at Cynthia's place.
你觉得那个派对怎么样
What did you think about the party?
桑姆 贾克斯 去坐好
Sam, Jax, take your seats.
加比 现在是留堂时间 不是社交时间
Gabbi, this is detention, not social hour.
找一个离你朋友远点的位置
Find another seat farther from your friend.
加洛校长 这是个离谱的错误
Principal Gallo, this is an insane mistake.
我不该在这里的
I shouldn't be here.
你也知道我绝对不会干出那种事
And you know I wouldn't do anything like what happened.
是的 你们和这件事都没有任何关系
Yeah, none of us have anything to do with it.
我不明白为什么我们...
I don't understand why we're all...
你有证据能证明我们干出...
Do you have any proof that any of us did this...
我了解你们 你们都是好孩子
I know all of you, you're good kids!
但是你说的话听起来可不是这样
Doesn't feel like that's what you're saying.
你说过的那些话
What you've been saying.
那是别的事 温顿
That was something else, Winton.
我已经为
And I already apologized
我以为你也牵扯其中而道过歉了
for thinking that you were involved with that.
听着 我和你们一样 也不想来这里
Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do.
但是总得有人要为你们体育课上
But somebody's responsible for that cherry bomb
那个红色爆竹负责
in your gym class.
我听说这件事和你们中的一个或者几个人有关
And I heard that one or more of you may have been involved.
我们所有人吗 你是认真的吗
All of us? Are you serious?
我不知道谁说的是实话 谁说的是假话
I don't know who's telling the truth and who's not.
所以在该为此负责的人站出来
So until the one who is responsible comes forth
和我说实话之前
and is straight with me,
你们所有人这周末都要留堂
you're in detention for the whole weekend.
加洛先生 这太扯了
Mr. Gallo, this is BS.
我的父母在为一件我没做过的事
Like, my parents are freaking out
对我大发雷霆
over something I had nothing to do with.
你父母也叫生气吗 你真该看看我父母
Your parents? You should see mine.
说真的 加洛先生 这一点都不公平
Seriously, Mr. Gallo. Nothing about this is fair.
我知道
I know.
那个红色爆竹爆♥炸♥后 所有人都陷入恐慌
When that cherry bomb went off, it panicked everyone.
我们都以为那是...
We all thought it was...
所以 我开启了新式封锁技术
So then, I triggered the new lockdown technology system.
警报响起 吓到了整个学校的人
The alarms went off, scared the whole school.
还给每个父母
It sends out these text messages
以及学校董事会的人发了信息
to every parent and every school board member,
他们现在都盯着我
and they're breathing down my neck.
他们想要知道发生了什么
They want to know what happened.
帮帮我吧
So help me.
告诉我是谁干的 我们就都能回家了
Tell me who did it, and then we can all just go home.
好了 交上来吧
All right, fine. Hand them over.
-什么意思 -什么
- What do you mean by that? - What?!
拜托 开什么玩笑
Come on! Are you kidding!
快点 快点 给我吧
Come on, come on. Give them to me.
快点
Let's go.
等留堂结束后 自然会换给你们
Look, you'll get them back when detention's over.
-这太扯了 -谢谢
- This is ridiculous. - Thank you.
也许能用这段时间好好想想要不要告诉我是谁干的
Maybe use this time to think about telling me who did it.
有人告密 伙计
Someone's a snitch, man.
一键紧急封锁
安全系统
妹子
Hey girl.
-劝你小心点 贾克斯 -为什么
- I'd be careful there, Jax. - Why?
-她是拉拉队长 -是啊
- She's a cheerleader. - Yeah.
这基本上就说明她的肌肉堪比体操运动员
Which basically means she's got the muscles of a gymnast
能把你拦腰折成两半 往后折
and can fold you in half. The wrong way.
我就在这儿呢
I'm right here?
我的名字叫加比
And my name is Gabbi.
麦克阿瑟
MacArthur.
但你们可以叫我女士和...
But you can call me ma'am and...
下一位
Keep it moving.
你和那个大块头是怎么回事
Well, what's up with you and the big guy?
女士
Ma'am.
我叫温顿·奥玛威尔
My name's Winton Omawale.
你为什么问这些 贾克斯·班德
And why do you care, Jax Bender?
我只是很好奇
Oh, I'm just curious.
交给我
Okay. I got this.
我确定 一定
Never, nowhere, no chance, no way,
以及肯定不可能
no how, absolutely not.
就算过一百年
Not in a hundred years.
一百万年呢
Not in a million years?
十亿年
Not in a billion years.
就算能拯救全球饥荒呢
Not if it would solve world hunger?
我宁愿从悬崖上跳下去
I'd rather jump off a cliff.
就算我们是世界上唯二剩余的人呢
Not if we were the last two people left on earth?
认真的吗 贾克斯
Really Jax?
跟我说 不
Give me an N.
不
N!
跟我说 可能
Give me an O.
可能
O!
连起来是什么
What does that spell?
不可能
No!
不可能 "今天不行 撒旦"怎么样
No? Okay, how about "not today, Satan?"
-那... -这是谁的包吗
- How about "pas de..." - Hey, is this someone's bag?
你的手♥机♥好像在震动
I think your phone's vibrating.
外语 外语 很不错
Languages, languages, okay.
这句话意思是"我很愿意 只是不想跟你"
Which is "I'd love to, just not with you."
那"等猴年马月"呢
Okay, how about "when pigs fly?"
-回到经典台词了 -是啊
- Oh, we're going back to the classics now. - Yeah.
那可是最经典的台词
Okay, well that's the most classic line there is.
不是我 不是你 那就是我
It's not me, it's not you, it's me.
天 你有什么毛病
Jeez, what is your problem?
那个书包
The bag.
里面有一张脸
Inside. It had a face.
一张脸
A face?
-这招不错 兄弟 -我是认真的
- Yeah, nice try bro. - I'm serious.
你们看
Look.
这不好笑
It's not funny.
我没想搞笑
I'm not trying to be funny.
猜猜我要怎么做
Guess what I'm going to do?
我才不会照你说的往包里看呢
Not look in that bag because you told me to,
不然肯定会有什么蠢东西跳出来吓我一跳
just for something stupid to pop out and scare me.
不 真厉害
No, respect man.
这种恶作剧可是需要一定的策划和远见的
A prank like that takes planning and foresight.
伙计们 我没开玩笑
You guys, I'm not joking.
加比 你看看
Gabbi, look at it.
大个子要躲在你的新女友后面吗
Is big man going to go hide behind your new girlfriend?
你到底什么毛病
What is your problem?
好吧
Fine.
我去看
I'll look.
看
Look.
到底是什么
What is it?
-绝了 -真蠢
- Nice. - So stupid.
你干什么
What are you?
我知道我看到了什么
I know what I saw.
当然了
Sure you did.
你要说我是骗子了吗
You calling me a liar, now?
喂 骗子吗
Hello? A liar?
别耍宝了