穿越烟壶（2016）

we will stamp it out.
我们一定会将它铲除的
But we must not be hysterical.
但我们不能听风就是雨
We must investigate the accused with scientific tests.
我们必须进行科学的试验 调查被指控之人
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
Someone reasonable with logic and--and science.
终于有个理智的人了 明逻辑 懂科学
Oh, God!
妈呀
God!
天啊
She bleeds. Ow, my tit!
她流血了 我的奶♥子♥
'Tis a human quality.
只有人才会流血
We must continue the tests.
我们必须继续试验
If she survives, then she is a witch.
如果她活下来了 那她就是女巫
If she dies, then she wasn't.
如果她死了 那就不是
Fuck--
操啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
So water goes in here, tobacco here.
水注入这里 烟草放在这里
You suck out of here--
你就这么吸一口...
This will be a quickie blow job for me.
对我而言 就是个简单的"嘴上活儿"
Great.
好极了
Thank you so much.
太感谢了
Should I wait here, or should I...
我该在这里等着吗 还是...
Not probably.
恐怕不行
First I'll have to gather some dried kindling to start the fire.
首先我得收集些引火柴生火
And then I'll have to travel to Brewster to get the coal,
然后我还得去布鲁斯特买♥♥煤炭
which could take almost half a day.
那可能要花半天时间
Then I'll have to stoke the fritter furnace.
然后我还得把炸馅饼的炉子烧火加热
Okay, um--
好吧 那...
Then Thursday I have a thing.
周四 我还有个活动
Sorry.
抱歉
We have a thing.
是我们有"活动"
Okay, well, then--
好吧 那么...
Let me finish!
听我说完
Gotcha.
明白
The whole thing could take almost half a fortnight,
大约要两周才能修好
but it will be done...
但肯定会修得...
Expertly.
十分完美
You know what?
那好吧
I'm gonna do what I have to do, which is trust you.
我也是走投无路 只能信任你了
You have amazing teeth.
你的牙可真漂亮
Two rounds of braces.
戴了两轮牙套
What?
什么
Um, metal things
就是一种金属产品
you put on your teeth to make them straight.
戴在牙齿上 可以矫正牙齿
Don't worry about it. Okay.
别担心 好吧
All right, well--
好吧 那...
Oh, could you tell me where they took my cousin,
你能告诉我他们把我表妹带哪儿去了吗
you know, that witch?
就是 那个女巫
Don't worry about her.
别担心她
If I were you, I'd go to town, have some fun.
如果我是你 就趁现在去城里寻欢作乐
She's in good hands.
她被照顾得很好
Dunk her again! Oh, God!
再浸猪笼一次 天啊
Oh, God! No!
妈呀 不要啊
Oh, God!
天啊
Oh, God!
妈呀呀呀
Scat, ye devils!
滚开 你们这些小鬼
Leave the witch alone!
别欺负女巫
Girls, help. Please help me.
姑娘们 救救我 求你们救救我
Girl power.
姐妹情谊
Hi, witch.
你好啊 女巫
Gonna help me? Gonna help me out? Come on.
你们能帮我吗 要帮我吗 快来吧
As a matter of fact,
实际上
we were hoping you could help us.
我们希望你能帮助我们
We have our hearts set on some of the men in town.
我们看上了镇上的一些男人
And we are hoping you could put a spell on them
我们希望你能给他们施个爱情大魔咒
so they would love us.
让他们爱我们
And also fix my back.
并且把我的背部治好
But if you can only do one thing,
但如果你只能实现一个愿望的话
definitely the men one.
请务必优先钓男人
God, I'm not a witch!
天啊 我不是女巫
If I was, don't you think
如果我是的话 你们不觉得
I'd fly out of your shitty town?
我会立马逃离你们这破烂小镇吗
Also, why would you want to be with these guys?
并且 你们为什么会想跟那些男人在一起
They're disgusting.
他们太恶心了
They fucking stink-their breath.
他们臭死了 口臭严重
God, when do you get toothpaste?
天啊 什么时候才有牙膏啊
So you can't fix my back?
所以你治不好我的背吗
What are you girls doing near the fat witch?
你们站在那个肥女巫旁边干什么
Um, we're beating her, sir.
我们在毒打她 先生
Good! Put your back into it, ladies.
好极了 给我狠狠地打 姑娘们
Please, no. Come on, dude.
求你们不要 姐们儿
Sorry, witch.
抱歉啦 女巫
Sorry. Sorry.
抱歉 抱歉
Oh-ho, there she is!
你在这儿啊
Sharee!
雪莉
Sharee, it's me, Jeff.
雪莉 是我啊 杰夫
How are you, bae?
你还好吗 亲
Oh, gosh!
天啊
God, I'm glad to see you.
天啊 见到你我好开心
Dude, we did it.
姐们儿 我们成功了
We time traveled.
我们穿越时空了
We're in the 1400s.
我们来到15世纪了
It's 1691, Sir Jeff!
现在是1691年 杰夫阁下
Elias!
伊利亚斯
Sir Jeff!
杰夫阁下
God, the people here are so friendly.
天啊 这里的人可真友好
Am I right? Look at this.
我说的对吧 瞧瞧这个
They gave me this cravat and this vest.
他们给了我这个领巾和背心
I look good, right?
我穿着很帅 对吧
I got a confession, Sharee.
我必须对你坦白 雪莉
I love it here.
我爱这里
Right?
对吧
Yes, high five.
好棒 来击个掌
I'm so glad we did this.
我真高兴我们穿越了
You know what?
话说
Thank you for doing this with me.
谢谢你和我一起穿越
I'm glad we're finally having fun again together, you know?
我很高兴我们又一起找乐子了
Oh, and, dude, the food--
对了 姐们儿 这里的食物
Have you had any of this turkey?
你吃了这种火鸡肉吗
Do you want some of this?
你想吃点吗
Oh, Jesus, Sharee!
天啊 雪莉
Dude, I didn't know it was this bad.
天 我不知道你的情况这么糟糕
I'm so sorry.
*真对不起
We're gonna get out of here, okay?
我们赶快离开这里 好吗
There's a glassblower,
有个玻璃吹制工
and I'm gonna get the bong fixed.
我会把那个烟壶修好
I think he's gonna do an amazing job.
我觉得他一定会修得完美无缺的
Oh, Sharee, you're really bleeding.
雪莉 你真在流血啊
You know I get faint if I see bloo--
你知道我一看到血就会晕...
Witness the trial of a filthy witch!
快来观看女巫审判
Witness the trial of a filthy witch!
快来观看女巫审判
Witch trial? Sharee--
女巫审判 雪莉
Fuck!
操啊
Witness the trial of a filthy witch!
快来观看女巫审判
Witness the trial of a filthy witch!
快来观看女巫审判
Shit.
该死的
You know, it really feels like you've made your decision already.
我感觉你已经做出决定了啊
Order!
肃静
The smelly wench has survived many of our tests,
那个浑身发臭的姑娘通过了多重考验
which only a witch could survive.
只有女巫才能活到现在
But we have decided
但是我们决定
we want to hear witness testimony.
要听听证人的证词