穿越烟壶（2016）

Yeah, and Sharee.
没错 把雪莉也抢走了
Where did they take her?
他们把她带去哪儿了
There's an incinerator room at the core of the Nomsanto Center.
在都山孟中心 有个火化间
Oh, my God.
天啊
I have to save her.
我必须去救她
Sharee!
雪莉
Actually, I don't know my way around here.
实际上 我对这里不熟
Can you guys show me how to get to the Nomsanto Center?
你们能给我指一下去都山孟中心的路吗
Yeah, definitely.
当然了
All right, let's hurry, though.
好了 我们快走吧
Get my gloves.
得拿上我的手套
Guys, please, no.
求你们了 不要
What are you gonna do to me?
你们要把我怎么样
You were found in possession of plant life,
你被发现持有植物
which is illegal.
那是违法的
That is such bullshit.
真是放狗屁
Nature rules us, not the other way around.
大自然统治着我们 而不是我们统治大自然
We can go no further.
我们不能继续向前走了
Our ID chips might sound the alarms.
我们的身份证芯片可能会触响警报
You must go alone.
你只能一个人去
I don't know if I can do this alone, guys.
我不知道我一个人能否完成
Here, take this.
给 拿着这个
It is your only hope to escape.
那是你逃出来的唯一希望
But promise us, Jeff, you will come back for us.
但是答应我们 杰夫 你会回来救我们的
Together we must save the planet.
我们必须一起拯救这个星球
Uh, I mean, I'll try, yeah.
我会努力的
I gue... I'll try.
我...我尽力吧
Okay? Cool.
好吗 好极了
So is there, like, a secret entrance,
有没有什么秘密入口
or, like, can you override an access code?
或者 你们能不能破解进门密♥码♥什么的
Can you hack into the system
你们能不能黑入系统
and shut down security so I can...
把安保系统关掉 好让我...
Nope. That'd be great, right?
没有 那样真是太棒了 对吧
We can't.
我们做不到
Just can't do it. I wish.
真的无能为力 我也想啊
That'd be so cool.
要是可以真是太酷了
But there is one way you can get inside undetected.
但有一条路让你可以神不知鬼不觉地进去
You must climb through the biohazard chute.
你必须从这个生物危害排放槽爬上去
This shit?
就这烂玩意儿吗
Through there will take you straight to the n'energy core.
从这里可以直接进入能源中心
I can't climb up there.
我不能从这里爬上去
There's condoms and syringes and shit.
那里面有避孕套 注射器和屎呢
What if I get AIDS?
万一我感染了艾滋病毒怎么办
What? Oh, no, AIDS has been eradicated.
什么 不 艾滋病毒已经被灭绝了
It has?
真的吗
Wow, I guess that's one good thing about the future.
哇 那倒是未来的好处之一
Okay. Thank you, guys.
好了 谢谢了 各位
I'll never forget you.
我永远不会忘记你们的
You are coming back for us, though, right?
你会回来救我们的 对吧
Yeah, I'll do my best.
那个 我会尽力的
Oh, this is just open.
这个直接就是开的啊
This is the only way? No other way?
只有这一条路吗 没其他路了吗
Okay.
好吧
Okay. Oof, Jesus.
好吧 天啊
God, it stinks!
妈的 臭死了
AIDS hasn't been eradicated.
艾滋病毒并没有被灭绝啊
I know.
我知道
It's worse than ever.
反而比以前更加猖獗
But he was freaking out, so that's life.
但他刚刚吓得不敢行动 人生就是这么艰难
Oh, God.
天啊
Please, no.
求你们不要
Please, please, please.
求求你了 求求你了
Please, please.
求你们了 求你们了
What are you doing?
你要干什么
No!
不要
Oh, God!
天啊
Oh, God damn it!
妈的
That was just starting to heal.
我的奶♥子♥才刚开始愈合呢
I can't do this.
我坚持不下去了
Where am I?
我这是在哪儿
Okay.
好吧
You are an illegal citizen,
你是个非法公民
and possession of plant life is punishable by death.
持有植物 是可以被判死刑的
This is the third computer you've destroyed.
这已经是你搞坏的第三台电脑了
Destroyed.
搞坏
It's not my fault everything breaks
现在的东西喷点"精华液"在上面就坏了
if a drop of jizz hits it.
又不是我的错
Drop of jizz hits it.
喷点"精华液"在上面就坏了
Aim, Jeff.
瞄准 杰夫
Aim.
瞄准
You can do it, Jeff. Come on.
你可以的 杰夫 加油
I can't get off without porn.
没高清黄♥片♥ 鸡♥巴♥软绵绵
I can't get off without porn.
没高清黄♥片♥ 鸡♥巴♥软绵绵
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff.
杰夫 杰夫 杰夫
Please.
拜托了
Come on. Come on, Jeff.
醒醒 快走 杰夫
Come on. Come on.
快走 快走
Sharee, I came without porn.
雪莉 我刚刚没靠黄♥片♥也射了
I saw. I literally couldn't look away.
我看到了 我真是移不开眼
I have the bong.
烟壶在我身上
Yes! We can smoke it and go home.
好棒 我们可以抽一下 就回家
It's going to be hard without this.
没有这个 也回不了吧
No!
不要啊
I'm gonna kill you, bitch!
我要杀了你 婊♥子♥
Britney!
布兰妮
Yes!
好棒
Ow, God.
天啊
Oh, my God! We're home!
天啊 我们回家了
We're home!
我们回家了
We're home!
我们回家了
Wait, wait. Yes.
等等 等等 好棒
Did you just smoke your hair? Yeah.
你刚刚烧的是头发吗 是啊
Remember in 2007 when Britney Spears had her meltdown?
你还记得2007年小甜甜布兰妮精神崩溃的事吗
She shaved her head
她把头发全剃光了
'cause she didn't want to be tested for THC
因为她不想做四氢大♥麻♥酚检测
'cause she would lose her children.
那样的话 她就会失去孩子的监护权
And I realized
我突然意识到
I must have enough THC in my hair,
我的头发里肯定也有很多四氢大♥麻♥酚
so I smoked it, and it worked.
于是我就点燃抽了 竟然起作用了
That's genius. You are so smart.
真是太天才了 你好聪明啊
I am. I'm smart now.
没错 我现在是聪明人了
Crispin! Crispin! Hi!
克里斯宾 克里斯宾 嗨
Crispin! Oh, my God!
克里斯宾 天啊
Oh, we missed you, buddy.
我们想你了 小家伙
Oh, my God, there is so much I missed.
天啊 我怀念这里的好多东西
Me too.
我也是
Running water.
自来水
Medicine.
药
Toilet paper!
厕纸
Food!
食物
Oh, God, yeah.
天啊 好吧
Come on, let's go.
快点 出发吧
Applebee's happy hour ends in 30 minutes.
苹果蜂餐厅的半价活动半小时后就结束了
I'm not paying full price for shit.
我才不要付全价呢
Jesus. Okay, we're not dating anymore.
天啊 我们已经不是情侣关系了
I'm breaking up with you.
我要跟你分手
Cut the bullshit, fat tits. Come on, let's go.
少他妈废话 肥奶♥子♥ 快啊 我们走
You know, I might have fucked my cousin,
我可能跟我表哥上过床
and it was a healthier situation than this.
那种乱♥伦♥关系都比我们的关系要健康些
Wait a minute. What did you say?
等等 你刚说什么