伞学院

The Umbrella Academy S02E02

Part 1 Aug. 16, 2020, 3:59 p.m.

这么快就回来了
Back so soon?
真让人失望
How disappointing.
我打算今晚约莎伦出去
I'm asking out Sharon tonight.
-财会部的莎伦 -不保洁部的莎伦
- Sharon from Payroll? - No, Sharon from Janitorial.
-那个啊 -我喜欢她笑的样子
- Ahh. - I like her smile.
再说了我的公♥寓♥脏乱到爆♥炸♥
Plus, my apartment's a disaster.
-好吧 -我们要处理几个人
- Yeah. - How many pickups we got?
-两个 -太好了因为我饿了
- Two. - Good, 'cause I am starving.
-你已经饿了 -我快饿扁了
- Oh, you're starving? - I am starving.
等完工了去李妈妈中餐店吃炸馄饨
Fried wontons at Mama Lee's when we're done?
-怎么了 -我只是...
- What? - I just...
那里面的味精太多了
It's too much MSG.
-你相信了那些虚假鼓吹 -为什么不信
- Oh, you bought the propaganda. - Yeah.
吃味精不会有害健康的朋友
There's nothing wrong with MSG, my friend.
-好了你准备好了吗我数到三 -好了
- All right, you ready? On three. - Yep.
一二...
One, two...
怎么了
What?
她好像动了
She moved a bit.
不不不没有
No, no, no, no, no.
不可能这上面写着呢她已经死了
No, it... it says right here, she's dead.
可能只是肠胃胀气
It's probably just intestinal gas.
上周我肠胃胀气
I had one last week that
一路放屁到焚化炉这里这...
farted all the way into the oven. It's...
快送我去医院
Get me to a hospital.
这肯定不是肠胃胀气了
Don't think that was intestinal gas.
该死
Oh, shit.
估计你今天是吃不到馄饨了
You can probably kiss those wontons goodbye.
三个月后
该死管理人回来了
Ah, shit. The Handler's back.
她回来了
She's back.
-管理人吗 -她回来了
- The Handler? - She's back.
管理人
AJ
AJ.
欢迎回来
Welcome back.
容我说一句
And let me say,
你的康复对我们来说都是一种极大的鼓舞
your recovery has been an inspiration to us all.
这个嘛...
Well...
要不是之前上海那次任务
...if it wasn't for this
在我脑子里留了一个金属板
metal plate in my head from the Shanghai job,
我估计我就回不来了
I don't think I'd be here.
我还以为要等到开董事会的时候...
I didn't expect to see you until the board...
才能见到你呢
...meeting.
出了什么事吗
What's going on?
在你康复的这段时间
Um, during your rehabilitation,
发生了一些管理层面的变动
certain management changes were made,
不可避免的部门改组
unavoidable departmental reorganizations.
-很抱歉地告诉你... -你不是要开除我吧
- I'm sorry to say-- - You're not firing me.
-当然不是了 -谢天谢地
- Of course not. - Oh, thank God.
我们从没这么想过不过...
We would never dream of it. However...
你将被降级
...you will be demoted.
什么
What?
鉴于你对时间局这么多年的效忠
Due to your long-standing commitment to the Commission,
你可以保留你的福利套餐还有...
you'll keep your benefits package and parking...
-在C区的停车位 -C区
- in lot C. - Lot C?
别激动我老实跟你说吧
Look, if I'm completely honest,
你一向都和上级相处得不太愉快
you've always had a problem with authority.
这都是因为上次的任务不是吗
This is about my last file, isn't it?
黑泽尔和恰恰搞砸了那次任务不是我
Hazel and Cha-Cha screwed the pooch on that one, not me,
更不要提那个五号♥了
and don't even get me started on Number Five,
他背叛组织的无♥耻♥程度
the depth of whose betrayal
可是促使我从昏迷中苏醒的重要原因
served as powerful motivation in waking me from my coma,
也让我挺过了
and all the way through
漫长磨人又痛苦的康复过程回到这间办公室
my long, tedious, painful recovery back to this office.
不仅仅是因为那件事
It's not just one thing.
还记得743号♥事故吗
Remember that whole 743 incident?
你没被解雇就该偷着乐了
Be happy you're still employed.
给我两天时间
Give me two days.
AJ 再给我两天时间我一定能把一切弥补好
AJ, give me two freaking days. I will make this right.
任务已经改派给其他人了
The task has already been reassigned.
叫他进来
Send him in.
赫布
Herb?
你派他去抓五号♥
You're sending him after Five?
别胡说八道
Don't be ridiculous.
我们已经派出特工人员了
We've already sent operatives into the field.
赫布是你的新...
Herb is your new...
上司
supervisor.
这...这是个玩笑对吧
Oh, this... this is a joke, right?
老娘拉的屎都比赫布大
I've dropped turds bigger than Herb.
那你需要多吃点纤维素了
Someone needs fiber.
麻烦你带管理人去她的新办公桌
Please show the Handler to her new desk.
我为了公♥司♥脑袋上都中了一枪
I took a bullet in the head for this company.
我们都非常感谢你的付出
And we thank you for your service.
欢迎回家
Home sweet home.
你的办公桌...在那里
Your desk is... over there.
如果你有任何需要我的办公桌就在...
If you need anything, my desk is...
前面
over here.
今天食堂要庆祝波利尼西亚日
Today is Polynesian day in the cafeteria.
想跟我一起吃捞捞菜吗
Wanna join me for some lau lau?
再问我我就把你的脸订在墙上
Ask me again, I'll staple your face to the wall.
好吧
Okay.
五号♥先生
伞学院
第二季第二集
你到底是怎么了路瑟
The hell is wrong with you, Luther?
我刚刚告诉你十天后世界就要毁灭了
I just told you the world's gonna end in ten days.
听到了可你总说这句话
Yeah, well, you're always saying that.
目前为止我都没错过
And so far, I've been right.
听着你想去拯救世界
Look, you want to go save the world?
那你自己去好吗我已经有工作了
Knock yourself out. All right? I already got a job.
等等你在这个破地方工作
Wait, you work in this shithole?
是的其实这里是我老板开的店
Yeah. Well, my boss owns the place.
我是他的保镖
I'm his body man.
那是什么跟女按♥摩♥师差不多吗
What's that? Like a masseuse or something?
好吧随你怎么嘲笑我的工作
Okay, you can make fun all you want,
但我把鲁比先生保护得很好
but I take good care of Mr. Ruby.
等等鲁比
Wait, Ruby.
杰克·鲁比那个枪杀了奥斯瓦尔德的暴徒
The Jack Ruby, the gangster who shot Oswald?
没错正是他本人
Yeah, the one and only.
没想到还是发生了
Well, it finally happened.
大猩猩的基因占领了你的脑子
That gorilla DNA has taken over your mind.
说话小心点好吗杰克可是我的好朋友
Hey, watch it, all right? Jack's a good friend.
可你还是一号♥呢
And you're Number One.
第一啊还记得吗
Número Uno. Remember?
没有什么一号♥了
There is no Number One.
再没有了
Not anymore.
至少在1963年没有
Not in 1963.
听着我自己一个人被扔在这里一年了
Look, I've been stranded here alone for a year.
-还能怎么样 -我懂好吗
- What did you expect? - I get it, all right?
你眼睁睁看着伯格死在你面前世界崩坏
You watched Pogo die, the world exploded,
而我把你这大傻个丢进了时间隧♥道♥
and I marooned your big dumb ass in time.
我很抱歉好吗
I'm sorry, okay?
但是我需要你的帮助路瑟
But I'm asking for your help, Luther.
-伞学院需要你 -它不需要我
-The Umbrella Academy needs you. - It doesn't need me.
它从来都没需要过我
It never did.
路瑟亲爱的杰克要冲一个傻缺发飙了
Luther, honey, Jack's about to lose it on some half-wit.
-帮一下忙呗 -他妈的
-A little help? -Ah, shit.
-路瑟等等 -听着
-Luther, wait. -Listen.
你是那个说我们应该跳下去的天才对吧
You're the genius who said we should jump. Right?
是你让我们卡在这里
You're the one who got us stuck here.
还有是你带来了范娅
And you're the one who brought Vanya.
所以如果末日要来了说不定就是她造成的
So if there is a doomsday coming, she's probably the cause.
而且就算我要就此做些什么
And if I was gonna do something about it,