卡戴珊家族（2022）

你给珍妮佛·洛佩兹做过发型
Right. You did it with J Lo, too.
当时珍妮佛那些假发都是你做的吗
Did you do all of Jennifer's wigs when you guys did it?
克里斯·阿普顿 金的发型师
-还是节目组做的 -假发是他们做的
-Or did this show do it? -They made the wigs.
他们可以做 我跟她一起去
They'll make it. I'll go with her,
他们会量一下头部的尺寸
and they'll do a head measurement.
有时间做整体造型和换装吗
Is there time for looks and changeover?
不 就只是不停地换假发
No. It would literally be wig on, wig off.
特蕾西·罗穆卢斯 首席营销官
不过我可以做一个给她戴上 时间够用
But I can make one and put it on. There would be that much time.
我真不该答应下来
工作人员让我做的一些事情
There's certain things and preparation
还有准备工作 让我超级紧张
that people are telling me to do that are making me way more nervous.
我那天在大都会艺术博物馆 遇见了彼得·戴维森
I ran into Pete Davidson at the Met.
我跟他说 “我紧张死了
I was like, "I'm so scared.
我真不知道自己到底答应了什么”
I don't know what I signed up for."
他说 “你总会念手卡吧 那就没问题”
He's like, "Can you read cue cards? You're good."
然后我想 “念字我还是会的”
And I was like, "I can read."
斯科特想来 乔纳森也想来
Scott wants to come and Jonathan wants to come.
斯科特来应该没问题
I think Scott's fine 'cause Kourtney
因为考特妮和特拉维斯不来
and Travis aren't coming.
-嗯 -这样应该挺好
-Yeah. -So, that'll be nice.
考特妮来不了 只要妈妈能在
So, Kourtney can't come. As long as I have my mom,
还有我最好的朋友们和科勒在就行
and my besties, and Khloé, I'm good.
当然了 我是想邀请斯科特的
And, of course, I wanted to invite Scott.
我爱斯科特 我永远欢迎他
I love Scott. He's always welcome.
他永远是我们的家人 我很高兴他能来支持我
He's always family, and I'm happy that he's coming to support.
但如果考特妮不带特拉维斯 自己来
But I probably wouldn't invite Scott
那我可能就不会邀请斯科特
if Kourtney was coming without Travis.
不然气氛很快就会变得诡异
I think that would just be weird so soon.
你们对她出场
But what are you guys thinking for hair
做独白那段的发型 有什么想法
when she walks out to do her monologue?
初亮相无疑应该是最隆重的
The first look should obviously be the most
因为剩余的时间就是不停地换假发
because the rest of the time, it's wig on, wig off.
-到时候会有点乱 -但你会有…
-It's just kind of ruffling there. -Are you gonna have...
我只需要到场 快速帮她弄好
I just have to be there and quickly ruffle her up...
-然后会有人推她上场 -十分钟都没有吗
-Then someone grabs and pushes her out. -Not even 10 minutes?
没有 只有几秒钟 他们是真的会推她
No, like, seconds. They literally are pushing her.
就好像你坐着轮椅
It's like you're in a wheelchair
而他们 就那么把你推向人群
and they push you to the crowd.
非常疯狂 你会头晕目眩
It's crazy. Your head's gonna be spinning.
你的假发会被扯落 他们会立马换上新的
Your wig's ripped off and they change it.
然后你需要非常镇定
And then you just have to be really calm
走出去淡定自若地说
and go out and be like,
“好了伙计们 接下来是…”
"Okay, guys, next up..."
莎拉·斯尔弗曼说 “不如这样 到时候你就说”
Sarah Silverman was like, "What if you're like,
“好了 我想问观众几个问题”
"'Okay, I'm gonna ask some questions to the audience'
“然后我就点一个人
"and then, I go, 'You.'
那人其实是伪装过的坎耶”
You konw, It's really Kanye in a disguise.
“但你能看出来是他”
"But you know it's him.
“然后他说 ‘你相信 婚姻还有第二次机会吗’”
"He goes, 'Do you believe in second chances in marriages?'
我说 “绝不” 然后进行下一项
And I go, 'No!' and go to the next one."
我喜欢这主意
Love that.
-太棒了 -很搞笑
-That's amazing. -That's funny.
这就是你需要的
That's literally all you need.
-他会答应吗 -我们光是想想就觉得很好笑了
-Would he do that? -We're laughing thinking about it.
-如果戴夫让他那么做的话 -他会同意的
-Yeah, if Dave tells him to do it. -He'll do it.
如果戴夫·查普尔说好笑 那就是真好笑
If Dave Chappelle says it's funny, it's funny.
-对 -我只需要他认可
-Yeah. -That's all I need.
我可不需要所有观众的认可
I don't need a whole audience.
我觉得你会很棒的
I feel you're gonna be great.
万一他们问 “你会唱歌♥吗” 不会
What if they were like, "Can you sing?" No.
“你会跳舞吗” 不会
"Can you dance?" No.
“你会表演吗” 不会 “你会模仿口音吗” 不会
"Can you act?" No. "Can you do accents?" Nope.
我不知道我还能干什么
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
宝贝 你光是做自己 就有了非常成功的剧集和事业
我觉得你肯定行
你肯定行
You'll be fine.
记得享受其中就好
你一定会很棒的
You're gonna kill it.
幸运之家 牛排 猪羊排 海鲜 鸡尾酒
小金 我对你有一点不满
Hey, Joge, I do have a bone to pick with you.
是吗 这就开门见山吗
-是关于SKIMS的 就一件事 -说说看
-Just about SKIMS. One thing. -Okay.
是这样 你总是取笑我
So, you know, I... You always make fun of me
说我的阴♥部♥比平常人都大
for having a bigger vagina than most.
-我现在穿了… -我来了
-I'm wearing... -Hi.
我在跟她说我对她有点不满
I'm telling her about a bone I have to pick with her.
你知道有一款紧身衣
You know, the body suit one,
就是这里有褶边装饰的那款
It's like, the one that there's ruching here.
我现在正穿着 很舒服
I'm wearing it right now, and it's amazing.
但是下面那一片也太窄了
But it's a slivered...
难道只需要遮住我的阴蒂吗
Is it supposed to just cover my clit?
阴♥部♥需要更多衣料 再宽一点就好
The vagina needs a little more fabric, just a little wider.
对你们这些小贱♥人♥来说 这有什么大不了的
For all you little bitches, why does it matter?
言之有理
大阴♥部♥
Big puss club.
大阴♥部♥俱乐部
她说的那个宽度的问题
The width wise is what she's talking about.
谁也不想自己的阴♥部♥吊在紧身衣两边
You don't want your vagina hanging out of the sides of the SKIMS.
没错
Yeah.
-你真美 -我之前都吼起来了
-You look fab. -I was, like, screaming
吼坎耶和他的发型师 因为我说了
at Kanye and his stylist 'cause I said
衣服必须在十一点前到我家
the clothes have to be at my house at 11 o'clock,
结果十二点半都没来 我不等了
and by 12:30, I'm leaving.
我要出门了 所以我现在看起来
I'm going out the door, and now,
就像在演《黑客帝国》
I look like I'm in the Matrix.
我只希望要穿的衣服 在我房♥间依次挂好
I just want the outfits lined up in my room,
周一的 周二的 我就是个机器人
Monday, Tuesday, I'm a robot.
我必须按规律运行
I will operate as such.
-有人会帮你解决吗 -其实是坎耶
-Is someone gonna do that for you? -Well, it's Kanye.
他说他想退出一切
He says he wants to quit everything
专心做…
and just dedicate his life to being...
-你的造型师 -我的造型师
-Your stylist. -...my stylist.
我觉得他还是应该做点音乐
I think he should still maybe do a little music,
做点阿迪达斯的设计
a little Adidas designing,
可以把造型师的事当成副业
and then he can do that on the side.
我和坎耶仍然是朋友
You know, Kanye and I remain friends.
他总是替我搭配衣服 帮我做造型
Kanye's always dressed me. He's always styled me.
2000年出头那会 他会发给我一些随机的邮件
In the early 2000s, he would literally just send me random e-mails
里面全是各种造型 以及我应该是什么风格
with all these looks and what my style should be.
他会说 现在只穿露脐装和直筒裙
Only wear crop tops and pencil skirts right now,
或是靴子配半身裙
or it's all about a boot with a skirt,
他会给我发非常多的参考图片
and he'll send me so many reference pictures.
所以一直以来 默认就是他给我设计造型
So, that's always really been our thing.
但我心里也有个声音希望能自己做主
But there's also a side of me that wants total independence too.
-你好 -你好吗
-Hi. -Hi, how are you?
谢谢
Good, thank you.
我要一份烤洋蓟
I'm gonna get a grilled artichoke...
天 我被她吓到了
God, she scared me.
配蛋黄酱 还要薄洋葱圈
with a side of mayonnaise and the skinny onion rings.
我要一个不可能汉堡 还要红薯条
I'm gonna get an impossible burger and sweet potato fries.
我还要一份卷心莴苣 但要切碎的
May I please get the iceberg lettuce wedge as well, but all chopped?
上面能加西红柿吗
Can I add tomato to it?
我还要鸡蛋和牧场沙拉酱
And can I add egg and ranch dressing?
给我也来一份
May I get that, please?
-也要切碎的 -切碎的
-Chopped as well. -Chopped.
-她很懂行 -我也要这个
-She just knows what she's doing. -I'll just get that, too.
得了吧你
Shut up, are you?
我们都是吃货
We are foodies.
我们走的就是这个路线
That's why we work out the way we do
我们会点一大堆东西 狼吞虎咽地吃掉
because we'll order everything and we scarf it down,
之后再祈祷能被宽恕
and we pray for forgiveness later.
非常可怕
It's horrible.
蓝莓地是什么
Ooh. What's a blueberry patch?