卡戴珊家族（2022）

食物看起来真棒 真的
The food looks amazing, if I do say so.
我要中份炸薯条和鸡块吧
I think I want regular fries and chicken nuggets.
-我也要中份薯条 -薯条稍微多一点 对
-I'll have regular fries too. -A little more fries, yeah.
谢谢
Thank you.
我大部分时候是吃素的
I'm a vegan most of the time.
百分之九十八的时间吧
Ninety-eight percent of the time.
不过今天 我要…
But today, I'm...
放肆一回了
going wild.
我现在就像活在梦里
I'm just, like, living a dream over here.
对 这就是一个孕妇的美梦
Yeah, this is a pregnant woman's dream.
美梦
Dream.
特拉维斯会来吗？
特拉维斯吗 会
Travis? Yeah.
特拉维斯和考特妮大姨来了吗
Travis and Auntie Kourtney are coming?
考特妮
伙计们
Guys!
他们来了
There they are.
闪亮登场
There they are.
-超短裤啊 -你好啊 天
-Talk about short shorts. -Hi. Oh, my God.
特拉维斯·巴克
-你好 -你好
-Hi. -Hi.
不用在镜头前生活简直是个梦
Living my life without cameras was an absolute dream.
我花了很多时间陪我的孩子
I've been spending a lot of time with my kids,
感觉好像让生活打开了
and I've just, like, let life unfold.
然后…
So...
特拉维斯是我男友
Travis is my boyfriend.
我俩的家只有一个街区的距离
Our homes are a block away from each other.
他以前是我最亲密的朋友 能有八年时间
He was one of my closest friends for probably eight years.
我们以前总是一起去健身
We used to work out together all the time,
就是我俩作为朋友的日常相处
just us doing stuff on a friend level.
我们可以放心做自己
We could just be ourselves.
我们相爱了 现在他成了我的男友
We fell in love, and now, he's my boyfriend.
你可以坐这里 我给你额外留了位置
他俩这段感情
This is a relationship
我觉得大家都没想到
that I don't think anybody saw coming
毕竟他俩已经认识那么久了
because they've known each other for so long
一直都是好朋友
and they were such good friends.
我早就想到了
I definitely saw this coming.
有好几年了 我们一直跟考特妮说
For years, we have been telling Kourtney
她和特拉维斯应该在一起
that her and Travis should hook up.
他们非常开心 看起来非常相爱
They are so happy, seem so in love,
时刻都在卿卿我我 每时每刻
and never stop making out, by the way, like ever.
大家快看… 罗布乐思里这个
-怎么了 -咱们怎么才能不…
-What? -How're we gonna stop...
谁弄的
Who made that?
-谁弄的 是谁 -我不知道
-Who made that? Who is it? -I don't know.
我再看看
Let me see.
点一下
Click on it.
等等
Hold on.
科勒 看这个
Khloé, look at this.
怎么了 给我看看
What? Let me see.
我可以在椅子上放个枕头
I could put a pillow in the chair.
科勒 快来
Khloé, come here.
我觉得可能只有你能看懂
I feel like you're the only one that would understand.
不太合适吧
-好吧 我来了 -我不确定这是什么意思
-Okay, I'm coming. -I'm not sure what this means.
这是罗布乐思里的一个游戏角色 可是上面说…
This is a character in Roblox, but it says...
-什么 -是吧 所以我才找你
-What? -I know. That's why I said...
不是我的角色 那是个游戏
-是个游戏吗 -对
-Oh, it's a game? -Yeah.
那我们就要告他们 滥用我的名字和照片
Well, then, we're suing them if it's a game with my name and picture.
上面有一张我哭的大头照
There was a picture of my cry face,
然后我又仔细看了看
and then I looked at it
有一些非常不当的言论
and it said something super inappropriate
比如 “金的新性♥爱♥录像”
like "Kim's new sex tape."
他的游戏里蹦出关于我的这些内容
No, it was an inappropriate thing
实在太不妥了
that popped up on his Roblox about me.
上面说他们会放出一些东西… 有人说的
That says they're leaking something that someone said.
那应该是我早年的性♥爱♥录像里
This is supposed to be unreleased footage
没公开过的内容
from my old sex tape.
作为一个母亲 我最不希望的
The last thing that I want as a mom
就是我的过去又被提起 都二十年了
is for my past to be brought up... 20 years later,
尤其是我们正在办大派对 我全家人都在
especially when it's this big party and my whole family's here.
这实在太令人难堪了 我必须要处理
This is some real embarrassing shit, and I need to deal with it.
我也绝对会处理
And I will deal with it.
我只是不敢相信现在居然出了这种事
I just cannot believe this is happening right now.
好了 咱们去外面吧
Okay, let's go outside.
走了 你们两只爱情鸟
Come on, little lovebirds.
等到了外面坐上桌再卿卿我我吧
You can make out out there by the table.
-我们坐这儿 -这是你的位置 宝贝
-We're sitting here. -This is you, babe.
肯达尔没来 她好像感冒了还是什么的
Kendall's not here because she's just got the flu or something.
卡戴珊一家
我其实没感冒 我得了新冠 太糟糕了
Hey, I actually didn't have the flu. I had COVID, and it sucked.
不过呢
But, you know what?
这一季剩余的内容还是会有我
You're going to get me for the rest of the season anyways.
我会在这里 不用担心
And I will be here. So don't you worry.
伙计们 你们能相信吗 今天就开始了
Guys, can you believe that this is day one?
-是啊 -是啊 看看那些摄像头
-Yeah. -Yeah. I can. Look at all the cameras.
这是第一天
This is day one.
我知道 我其实有点焦虑
I know. I have a little anxiety about it.
是吗
You do?
就感觉 我们怎么又开始了
Just like what the are we doing again?
是啊 同感
Yeah, same.
你会很棒的 坚持住 亲爱的
You're going to be good. Just suck it up, honey.
我从来都很棒
Oh, I'm always good.
对了 伙计们 妈妈和我前几天跟
So, guys, Mom and I had lunch the other day
《周六夜现场》的洛恩·迈克尔斯一起吃了午餐
with Lorne Michaels from SNL...
-嗯 -他们邀请我去主持
-Yeah. -...and they asked me to host it.
-所以… -这可是大事
-And so... -That is huge!
-可你答应了吗 -我答应了
-But did you say yeah? -I said yes.
等等 你俩在听她说话吗
Wait. Are you listening to this?
-没有 抱歉 -你妹妹要去主持SNL了
-No. Sorry. -Your sister's going to host SNL,
《周六夜现场》
Saturday Night Live.
-真棒 -去纽约
-Super. -From New York.
哪天开始
What day is it on?
我身边的所有人都说 “你一定得去”
Everyone around me is like, "You have to do this."
我懂 这真的很酷
And I get it. It's so cool.
但我总是让自己… 说真的
But I always put myself in these situations
我好像总在完成
that I think I'm fulfilling
别人的梦想 比如我妈妈的梦想 我…
other people's dreams, honestly, of, like, my mom's. I...
我不知道当初为什么参加 《与星共舞》
don't know why I did Dancing with the Stars.
我表现糟透了
I sucked.
你得走出来让观众买♥♥账 撩拨他们
You just have to come out and sell it and sizzle.
可你没做到
And you didn't.
太糟糕了 那根本不是我
Absolutely sucked. That's just so not me.
如果你了解我的话 那根本不是我
If you know me, like, I... It's not me.
-我不是那种搞笑的人 -你很搞笑
-I'm just not funny like that. -You are funny.
-只是… -你很搞笑 时机是关键
-It's just... -You are funny. Timing is everything.
但你是搞笑的
But you are funny.
我们总说你不搞笑 可你其实很搞笑
We've always told you you're not. But you really are.
真的 而且你的搞笑能力比舞技强多了
You really are. You're more funny than you can dance.
-想想好的一面 -好吧 好
-Just look at it on the bright side. -Good. Yeah.
我和科勒才是出了名的搞笑能手
Khloé and I are known to be the funny ones.
但金毕竟跟我们是血亲 所以她应该也能搞笑
But Kim's related to us. So, I think she can be funny.
我觉得她基因里是有搞笑天赋的
I think she has it in her.
-不过呢… -我有点犹豫不决
-But also... -I'm kind of going back and forth,
毕竟坎耶出了专辑 我要不要找他当我的…
like, since Kanye's album is out, do I want him to be my...
那肯定会是个大场面
That would be epic if, like,
如果让他当我的音乐人嘉宾
he was my musical guest.
可问题又来了
But then,
我想不想要属于我自己的高光时刻呢
do I want my own moment?
坎耶和我现在还在走离婚的程序
Kanye and I are still going through a divorce now.
我们想摸索出
We're just trying to figure it out,
如何一起当好孩子的父母
how to be good parents to our kids together,