爱上朋友妈（2015）

we are gay for each other.
-我爱你 宝贝 -噢
- I love you, babe. - Aw.
额 真的有东西出来了[指两人出柜]
Well, something definitely came out.
情况已经越发不可收拾了
Guys, this is getting out of control.
你差点就把我们暴露了
You're the one who almost outed us to Gammy.
我那时还能怎么说呢 宝贝
What was I supposed to say, babe?
你 吉米 外婆不在这里的时候
You--Jimmy, you don't have to call me babe
你用不着叫我宝贝
when Gammy isn't here.
别担心 外婆今晚就走了
Don't worry, Gammy's leaving tonight.
一切都在掌控之内
Everything's under control.
噢 是啊 你说得倒是容易
Oh, yeah, that's easy for you to say.
你又没有陷入一段奇怪而虚假的恋情中
You're not the one stuck in some weird fake relationship.
-噢 是吗 -好吧 你这例子举得不好 但
- Oh, really? - Okay, bad example, but--
嘿 我应该要一部什么颜色的特斯拉好
Hey, guys, what color Tesla should I get?
你要买♥♥特斯拉吗
You're getting a Tesla?
是啊 那是我沉默的酬劳
Yeah, that was the price for my silence.
别告诉他
Don't say that to him.
为什么我什么都没有
Why am I not getting anything?
你能在外婆的眼中继续保持天使形象
You're getting to remain an angel in your Gammy's eyes.
蠢旺旺
Stupid Barky Mark.
那只狗的鬼魂会永远缠着我的
The ghost of that dog will haunt me forever.
没有什么比含羞草和早午餐
Nothing says hello, world, we're gay,
更具有同性恋的气氛了
like mimosas and brunch.
外婆 我得说 我有点惊讶
Gammy, I have to say, I'm a little surprised
你竟然对这件事这么坦然
you're so okay with this.
为什么 如果教皇都能接受
Why? If the Pope is okay with it,
我还能说什么呢
who am I to judge?
再说了 我一直都知道你是同性恋了
Besides, I always knew you were gay.
你太挑三拣四了
You're so fastidious.
妈 那才不是他同性恋的原因好吗
Mom, that does not make him gay.
不是 但吉米主动暗送秋波 那才是原因
No, but Jimmy slipping it to him, that kinda does.
爸爸 为什么你会说吉米是
Dad, why would you suggest Jimmy is the one
送秋波的那一个啊
slipping it to me?
别感到难为情 亲爱的
Don't you be ashamed, Darling.
如果你想要变成攻 我们都会在你身后支持你的
If you prefer a dominant man, we are all behind you.
特别是吉米
Especially Jimmy.
尽管我有点担心你们这一对
Though I am concerned about the pairing.
你是那么地聪明 有雄心
You are so smart and ambitious, and--
而吉米 额 只是个迷恋圣经的怪小孩
and Jimmy is, um, an immature Bible humper.
额 我不会再这么做了 外婆
Well not anymore, Gammy.
我已经准备好认真地投入到一段感情中去了
I'm ready for a serious relationship.
和你的孙子一起
With your grandson,
这个我所深爱的人
who I love, dearly.
-你在干嘛呢 -把戏演足啊
- What are you doing? - Just setting the stage.
看看这温馨快乐的大家庭
Well, look at this big, happy family.
内特发信息告诉我他说出了真♥相♥ 这两个人的关系
Nate texted me that the truth is out, just like these two.
你们太会藏了
You sneaky poofters.
欢迎 现在让我去准备
Welcome! Now let me go prepare
含羞草的配菜 然后我们就可以祝酒啦
the fixings for the mimosas so we can have a toast.
额 莉迪亚 哈里森 你们能来帮帮我吗
Uh, Lydia and Harrison, can you help me?
好的
Yes.
你到底为什么要把戏做得这么足啊
What exactly are you setting the stage for?
额 依我看来 如果我能向外婆证明
Well, the way I see it, if I can prove to Gammy
我值得你拥有 那她就会知道
that I'm good for you, then she'll know
我也值得你妈拥有
I'm good for your mom.
然后我们就可以告诉她真♥相♥了
Then we can just tell her the truth.
你要怎么向她证明呢
How are you gonna prove that?
向外婆展示我的爱有多深
By showing Gammy how deep my love goes.
好无语
Holding my tongue.
向她展示我所有绝顶的生意点子
And by pitching her all my best business ideas.
这样她就知道我养得起你了
That way she knows I could provide for you.
养你妈妈 不好意思 这有点混乱
For your mom, sorry. It's a little confusing.
你知道吗 你应该先和我们说说
You know, you should probably run these by us first.
我是说 这样可以得到比较客观的意见
I mean, just to get an objective opinion.
好主意
Good idea.
请允许我向你们展示吉米实业公♥司♥的
Allow me to tell you about Jimmothy Industries
新发明 淋浴烤面包机
newene invention... the shower toaster.
你们再也不用在洗澡和
Never again will you have to choose between
早餐之间纠结啦
bathing and breakfast.
面包不会被弄湿吗
Won't the toast get wet?
好问题
Good note.
我也在想开一间
Yeah I'm also thinking about starting
手工果酱公♥司♥叫 果冻面包
an artisanal jam company called toasts Jelly.
这将会是整个果酱产业的一大劲敌
It will be the envy of the spreadable fruit world.
你的所有点子都和面包有关吗
Do all of your ideas involve toast?
大概百分之七十吧
Like 70%.
我想到一个你能说的 如果你想要的话
I've got one you can have if you want.
它还没有名字 但基本上
It doesn't have a name yet, but, basically,
这是一个上面有句习语的门把手
it's a doorknob with a phrase on it.
这样每一次你开一个门 你就玩转了习语措辞
So every time you enter a room, you turn a phrase.
这样你就能散发文化底蕴地来来去去了
So you always come and go thoughtfully.
这可真妙啊
That's pretty clever.
嗯 我其实挺喜欢这个想法的
Yeah, I actually kinda like that.
-谢谢你 -我不知道
- Thank you. - I don't know...
这得好好想想 这不是我所擅长的
It's kind of a thinker. It's not really my brand.
但我有很多其他的点子
But I've got plenty more ideas.
所以你们就坐好了 放松 我们可以耗上一整天呢
So just sit back, relax. We could be here all day.
所以 你们两个
So, what do the two of you really
对他们两个是怎么看的呢
think about the two of them?
噢 我觉得只要他们开心就够了
Oh, I think as long as they're happy, that's all that matters.
你真的觉得他可以让我们的内特开心吗
Do you really think that he can keep our Nate happy?
我也一直在想同样的事情
I've been wondering the same thing.
他当然可以咯 他是个好男人
Of course he can. He's a good man.
他很聪明 很忠诚 他是个很好的聆听者 他很博爱
He is smart, he's loyal, he's a good listener, he loves people.
他听起来像只金毛猎犬
He sounds like a golden retriever.
妈妈 如果你给他个机会
Mom, if you just give him a shot,
我保证你会看见 内特眼里的他
I'm sure you'll see what--what Nate sees.
吉米有很宽广的胸怀 还有很多没有开♥发♥的潜能
Jimmy's got a really big heart, and a lot of untapped potential.
噢 我很确信那已经被开♥发♥了[指同性恋的潜能]
Ooh, I'm pretty sure that's been tapped.
我不知道 我总感觉他们两个之间
I don't know, I still feel there's something off
有点不对劲
with the two of them.
没有
No.
-吉米 拜托 别说了 -再说一个
- Jimmy, please, no more. - Just one more.
-叉勺 -已经有这个东西了
- The spork. - That already exists.
那是用来的吃的 我这个是新的性体♥位♥
For eating. Mine's the new sexual position.
有点像侧进式 又带点调情的意味
It's like spooning with a little how you doing.
这听起来像是能大干一场的主意
Well that sounds more like a get down to business idea.
那你打算怎么推广它呢
Now how are you planning on marketing that?
别问我这个问题 我只负责想点子
Don't ask me that. I'm the idea man.
这些点子不会改变任何事的
These ideas aren't gonna change anything.
他们之前也是这么说青霉素的
That's what they said about penicillin.
没有用的
I don't think it is.
你们渴了吧
Hope you're thirsty.
-噢太棒了 你们回来了 -我想要祝酒
- Oh, good, you guys are back. - I would like to make a toast.
为了爱 任何形式的爱
To love, in all its forms,
传统的和非传统的
traditional and not-so-traditional.
同性恋婚姻能让它变得传统
Made even more traditional by gay marriage.
我希望你们能在结合之前好好考虑一下
Which I hope you will consider before you consummate.
知道了知道了
Hear, hear.
干杯
Cheers.
-这个时候要亲一下 -噢
- I think a kiss is in order. - Oh.
-你们两个可以吗 -嗯
- You two okay? - Yeah.
-我们好着呢 -当然
- We're fine. - Of course.
噢 不要因为我感到害羞
Oh, don't be shy on my account.
如果你们和对方在一起真的很开心
If you're really happy with each other,
你们就应该亲亲 不要怕羞
you should kiss and not be ashamed.
来吧 亲亲对方
Go ahead. Give each other some sugar.
亲亲 嗯 当然要亲啦
Sugar, yeah. Of course.
-嗯 -好的
- Yeah. - Okay.
-嗯 -嘿
- Um, hey. - Hey.
-嗯 -嗯