女大当自强

安妮 醒醒
Annie. Wake up!
你♥他♥妈♥太聪明了
You're fuckin' smart.
你好 我很肥
你相当于是个作家了
You're, like, a writer.
我都勃起了
I've got a boner right now,
部分是因为你的奶♥子♥ 但也是因为这个
and it's partially because of your boobs, but it's also this.
等等 你看了我的文章
Wait. You read my article?
你把我叫醒就为了告诉我这事
And you woke me up to tell me,
你还勃起了 这可真棒
and you have a boner? That's nice.
是啊 我是说...
Well, yeah. I mean...
我们现在是男女朋友关系了 所以...
we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, so...
我们得支持彼此的工作
we gotta, like, support each other's work stuff.
你也听我的播客 对吧
You listen to my podcast, right?
是的 当然了
Yes. Yes, I do.
我经常听
I... I always do.
第二篇文章的这个作者气坏了
And this guy that wrote the second article is fuckin' pissed.
你们写文章都喜欢用"你好"来开头吗 还是...
Do you guys use "Hello" to start all your pieces, or...?
你好 我很健康
等等 竟然是盖博
Wait. Fuckin' Gabe?
"为什么我的钱包越来越瘦
"Why should my wallet get skinnier
你的肥臀却可以一直肥下去"
just so your ass can stay fat?"
他竟然谈论我的屁♥股♥
He's talkin' about my ass.
该死的 去他妈的
Fuck. God damn it.
除了我 没人可以谈论你的屁♥股♥ 混♥蛋♥
Nobody talks about your ass but me, motherfucker.
-这家伙在跟你调情吗 -没有
- This guy flirting with you? - No.
你确定吗 他找你麻烦了吗
Are you sure? I mean, is he, like, giving you trouble?
因为 我可以解决这家伙
'Cause I can take care of this guy.
我很有信心地表示我可以
I can absolutely tell that I can.
不是从他的文章看出来的 是从照片看出来的
Not from his writing, but from his picture.
他是我老板 他就是个噩梦
He's my boss. He's a fuckin' nightmare.
天呐 阿马迪肯定也看过了
God, Amadi must've read it
因为他给我发了无数条短♥信♥ 老天
because he's texted me, like, a million times. Jesus.
该死的盖博
Fuckin' Gabe.
他是个蠢货
He's fuckin' stupid.
不 他其实很聪明
No, he's actually smart,
所以这事才烦人
which is what makes this so fuckin' annoying.
没事的
It's OK.
-不会有事的 -好吧
- It's gonna be fine. - Yeah.
我得去工作了
I have to go to work.
但是 你还要回到这张床上来
But... you're gonna get in this bed again,
我是说 今晚
like, later tonight...
你得为此做好准备
and, uh, you're gonna have to be ready for that.
谢谢
Thank you.
-拜 -拜
- Bye. - Bye.
去死吧
Fuck you.
女大当自强
第一季 第六集
操 你看到我的钥匙了吗
Shit, have you seen my keys?
没 或许瑞恩知道
Nope. Maybe Ryan has.
我昨晚听到你房♥间里传出他的呻♥吟♥声
I heard his guttural moans coming from your room last night.
-好吧 -我很感激他照顾邦邦
- OK. - I appreciate that he looked after Bonkers,
但我在入睡前意识到 我还是不喜欢他
but as I was falling asleep, I realized I still don't like him.
拜托 弗兰
Come on, Fran.
我期待恋爱已经太久了
I've wanted this for so long,
你就不能允许我拥有一次吗 他已经很努力了
can't you just let me have it? Like, he's really trying.
照顾我们的狗狗一下午
One afternoon of cuddling our dog
并不能抵消他持续了一辈子的可怕行为
doesn't erase a lifetime of horrible behavior.
如果替我照顾邦邦的萨♥达♥姆♥ 我也不会说
If Saddam Hussein looked after Bonkers, I wouldn't be, like,
"萨♥达♥姆♥ 你应该跟我最好的朋友约会"
"Saddam Hussein, you should really date my best friend."
好吧 真正的问题到底是什么
OK, what is the actual issue here?
就是他自始至终对你像屎一样
That's he's treated you like shit forever.
你背叛了你的每一任女朋友
You cheat on every woman you date,
更别提
not to mention
你因为一些超级傻♥逼♥的理由跟女朋友分手
you break up with girls for the dumbest fuckin' reasons.
你跟上一个女朋友
Like that last girl you broke up with
分手的理由是她听有声书
just because she listened to audiobooks.
听书可不叫"阅读"
You can't listen to a book and then call it "Reading."
好吧 你几乎就是女性版的瑞恩
OK, well, you're basically the female Ryan.
你♥他♥妈♥竟然对我说了这种话
Did you really just fucking say that to me?
是的 你经常抨击他
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you say shit about him all the time,
但我们现在已经在一起了
but we're, like, actually together now,
所以我...我也要抨击你
so I...I'm gonna say some shit back.
听着 我很高兴你迎来了这次"蜕变"
Look, I like that you're having this metamorphosis,
或者是其他的东西
or whatever's happening here,
但我觉得你这种情感出现了重大偏差
but I think this sentiment is incredibly misdirected.
弗兰 我现在没空跟你扯这些
Fran, I can't fucking do this right now.
我必须赶快找到我的钥匙
Like, I have to find my fucking keys.
-我必须去上班 -我可以送你去上班
- And I have to get to work. - I can take you to work.
你可以坐在他的车把手上 真可爱
You can ride on his handlebars. Adorable.
我没骑自行车来 弗兰 我开的是我妈的车
I don't have my bike, Fran. I have my mom's car.
好了 我们走吧
OK. Let's- - Lets just go.
弗兰 我很抱歉
Fran, I- - I'm sorry.
希望你不要认为这就算道歉了
I hope you don't think that counts as an apology.
我要求更诚恳的道歉
I demand a better one.
你或许得买♥♥礼物来道歉
And you might have to buy me stuff, too.
这挺酷的
This is pretty cool.
像是成年人的恋爱 一起开车上班
Like an adult relationship. Driving to work together.
是啊 我喜欢
Yeah, I like it.
我只是...你把我送到以后 会去上班吗
I just, um- - Are you going to work after you drop me off?
不 我会回家 继续睡觉
Nah, I think I'm gonna go home and take a nap.
好棒
Cool.
是啊 我很激动
Yeah, I'm excited.
你看了盖博的文章吗
Have you read Gabe's article?
好吧 那简直是疯了
Yeah, that was fuckin' insane.
他现在完全在针对我 我都无法...
He's, like, going after me so hard right now. I can't even- -
喂 老兄 怎么了
Hello? Dude. What's up?
我只是看到你很高兴而已 没被谋害死亡
Oh, I'm just happy to see ya, you know? Not murdered and dead.
什么
What?
你没看到我从「骏马秀」场给你发的几百条短♥信♥吗
You didn't see the hundreds of texts I sent you from the horse show?
天呐 骏马秀
My God. The horse show.
没错 骏马秀
Yeah, the- - the horse show.
操 阿马迪 我就是个烂人
Fuck, Amadi, I am such a piece of shit.
真正的烂人 我真的很抱歉
A true living piece of shit. I'm so, so sorry.
我昨晚跟父母大吵了一架
I, like, had a huge fight with my parents last night,
我回到家 发现瑞恩在那里
and then I got home and Ryan was there,
他真心地支持我 于是我...
and he was really there for me, and I just- -
我错了 我忘了
I fucked up. I forgot.
我真的很抱歉 求原谅
I'm really sorry. Please.
你知道那不是我的为人方式
You know that's not my style.
好吧 反正你错过了很精彩的表演
All right, well, you did miss a very good show.
-操 -有一匹小马
- Oh, fuck. - There was this tiny horse,
它竟然会跳"太空歩"
and he did, like, a moonwalk thing,
最后还表演了一招"扫腿舞"
and then he stanky- legged at the end.
-什么 -真的
- What? - Yeah.
再配上酥炸士力架 天呐
Fried Snickers? Hello.
-那听上去像是美梦一般 -的确是美梦
- That sounds like a fantasy. - It was a fantasy.
真的发生了
It's happening.
好吧 我...
OK, I'm- -
我去跟着她
I'm gonna follow her.
-搞清楚是怎么回事 -的确有点吓人
- And find out wassup. - That was creepy as hell.
是啊
Yeah.
我想办法查到了评论用户的IP地址
So I figured out a way to link the IP addresses with the user comments,
也就是说...
Which means that- -
你查到了我喷子的地址
You found the location of my troll.
是的 没错 你抢了我的精彩时刻
Yeah. Yeah, you stole that moment from me.
好吧 我...对不起 只是...
OK. I'm- - I'm sorry. I just- -
我只是听到那些喷子的消息 格外激动
I've got all this troll adrenaline, 'cause I'm all jacked up.
基本上就是 我查出了哪些是他的评论
So uh, basically I just gotta figure out which comments are his
哪些是其他网络喷子的评论
and which are just, like, other terrible people's.
-好的 -我们来看看这些评论
- OK. - Like, let's just go through it here.
-这条写的是"猪叫" -好吧
- This one says, "Oink." - Yeah.
这条写的是"叫吧 叫吧 你个猪女荡♥妇♥"
This one say, "Oink, oink, you little piggy slut."