女大当自强

《女大当自强》前情提要
你喜欢那个减肥食谱吗
Are you liking the thin menu?
我可喜欢死了
I am loving it.
6颗杏仁能让我饱好几个小时
Six almonds keeps me full for hours.
有时我吃了6颗杏仁
Sometimes when I have six almonds,
感觉像吃了12颗
I feel like I had 12 almonds.
你不介意再次从后门走吧
You're cool with going out the back again, right?
不
Um...yeah.
知道吗
You know what?
我只是想帮你 你个胖婊♥子♥
I was just trying to help you, you fat bitch.
安妮 拜托走开 你是个至关重要的零件
Annie, please go away. You're a vital and tiny cog.
男人没资格指挥我该做什么
Men do not tell me what to do.
因为我有丰臀和大奶
'Cause I'm the one with the fat ass and the big titties,
只能我指挥他们
so I get to decide what we do.
我想要你做我女朋友
I want you to be my girlfriend.
好
Okay.
我也不知道 我现在感觉无比强大
I don't know. I feel very fucking powerful right now.
我今天在派对上 看到那么多人
At that event today, there were so many people
欣赏自己 享受生活
living in their bodies and enjoying their life,
真的很不可思议
and that shit was un-fuckin'-believable.
你背叛了你的每一任女朋友
You cheat on every woman you date.
你几乎就是女性版的瑞恩
You're basically the female Ryan.
或许你应该好好照顾自己
Well, maybe just take care of yourself.
有人吗
Hello?
薇拉
Hey, Vera.
温哥华
Vancouver?
你觉得你在干什么
What do you think you're doing?
你似乎把这杂♥志♥当成是你的了
Seems like you think this is your paper.
我不懂你在气什么
I don't really get what you're upset about.
如果你现在不赶紧离开
You know, I think this is gonna end badly
这事的结局一定会很难堪
unless you just walk away right now.
我认真的 我不干了
I'm serious. I quit.
有19000的点击量了
19,000 people clicked on it. Holy hell.
你查到了我喷子的地址
You've found the location of my troll.
-你来这干嘛 -你就是那个该死的怪物
- What are you doing here? - You're the monster
每天都在折磨我
who's been torturing me every day.
-操♥你♥妈♥ -操♥你♥妈♥
- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
滚开
Hey, get the fuck out of here!
操♥你♥妈♥
Fuck you!
你最好跑 肥婊♥子♥
You better run, you fat bitch!
我要按哪个键才能让恐龙吃掉你的头
What button do I press to make the dinosaur eat your head?
滚 我才不会告诉你
Fuck you, I'm not telling you that.
你能去你房♥间吗
Would you go in your fucking room?
-你会害我们都生病的 -不
- You're gonna get us all sick. - No.
我的窗户是敞开的 进来好多虫子
My window's stuck open, and bugs are rushing in.
我就是个婊♥子♥ 但我很喜欢
I'm a fucking bitch, and I love it.
女大当自强
第二季 第一集
怎么了 你还好吗
What happened? Are you okay?
我很好 我好得不行了
Yeah, I'm good. I'm really fuckin' good.
我这辈子或许从没这么好过
I'm maybe the best I've ever been in my life.
我找到了那个在网上喷我的人
I found the guy who's been trolling me online,
我叫他滚蛋
and I told him to fuck off.
然后我把一个水泥花盆
And then I threw a cement flower pot
砸向了他的车窗 他气死了
right through his car window, and he was so fucking mad!
闭嘴 麦克
Shut the fuck up, Mike!
-继续说 安妮 -然后我开始跑
- Go ahead, Annie. - And then I was running
他在后面追我 大喊着
and he was chasing me and he was screaming
我从那片高级社区一路跑到这里
and I ran all the way from the fancy neighborhood here,
而我平时从不跑步的
and I never run.
但我跑了这么久
But I ran for so long.
现在 讲真 我感觉我能永远跑下去
And right now, honestly, I feel like I could fucking run forever.
此刻我感觉很疯狂 很美妙
Like, I feel insane and amazing right now.
爽呆了
Fuck...yeah!
这是我听说过的最酷的事
That is the coolest thing I have ever heard anybody do.
-闭嘴 -我控制不住
- Shut the fuck up! - I can't help it!
有喷嚏就打出来 我叔叔就是这样失去眼睛的
Hey, do not hold back a sneeze, that is how my uncle lost his eye.
等等 你在流血吗
Wait, wait, did you-you're bleeding?
你来月经了吗
Like, are you having your period?
没有 我砸花盆的时候
No, no. I cut my hand
割破了手
when I smashed that fucking flower pot.
这意味着你在现场留下了DNA
That means you left your DNA at the scene.
嗯 但他已经知道我是谁
Yeah, but he already knows who I am.
那他或许会来找你
Then he might be after you.
也许 我跑的时候应该已经甩掉他了
I mean, maybe. I think I lost him when I was running,
但是 我确实砸了他的车
but I mean, I did smash his car and--
他在网上无数次威胁要杀我
and he did threaten to kill me like, a thousand times online.
操
Fuck.
我觉得我们该出城
I kinda think we should leave town.
-没错 -嗯
- Fuckin' definitely, yes. - Yeah.
我为这种场合专门准备了应急包
I packed a go bag for just this occasion.
靠
Shit!
最后 该用上这个了
And finally, it's time for this.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
操 你知道怎么用吗
Fuck! Do you even know how to use that?
不 但如果有必要的话
No, but if I need to,
我的动物本能会生效
my animal instincts will kick in.
我们得走了
We gotta go!
靠
Aw, fuck!
我没有我妈的车
I don't have my mom's car.
等等
Wait...
我有我妈的车
I have my mom's car.
这地方很完美 非常偏远
This place is perfect. It's real remote.
我以前在童子军的时候经常去那
We used to go there when I was in the Scouts,
从来都没人
and there was never anybody there.
我们这么做是对的吧
I mean, we're doing the right thing right?
出城
Like, leaving town?
我只是... 我辞了职
I just-you know, I quit my job
现在我们在去露营的路上 这疯狂吗
and now we're going camping. Is this insane?
不 不疯狂
No, it's not insane.
不不 我们的决定是对的
No, no, no. We're doing the right thing, okay?
你没有在逃避任何事
You're not running away from anything.
你是在朝你自己跑去
You're running towards yourself.
没错 我是说
Yeah, exactly. I mean,
做个坏坏的人
it actually feels, like, very, very good to be, you know,
-感觉挺好的 -没错 我就是这意思
- a little bit fuckin' bad. - Yes! That's what I'm saying.
-等下 -怎么了
- Wait a minute. - What?
我的天 极品
Oh, my God. The ultimate.
等下
Hold on.
完美
Oh, perfect.
*有些事我再也不会做*
* There were things I'd never do again *
*但它们似乎总是对的*
* But then they'd always seem right *
*有些夜晚充满无尽的喜悦*
* There were nights of endless pleasure *
*超越法律允许的范畴*
* It was more than any laws allow *
没错
Yes!
*亲爱的*
* Baby, baby *
*如果我这样吻你*
* If I kiss you like this *
*如果你那样私语*
* And if you whisper like that *
*很久前就遗忘*
* It was lost long ago *
*但现在我又记起来了*
* But it's all coming back to me *
-*我无法抗拒* -*抗拒*
- * I can barely resist * - * Resist *
*但现在我又记起来了*
* But it's all coming back to me *
*我几乎不记得*
* I can barely recall *
*但现在我又记起来了*
* But it's all coming back to me now *
皮特妈妈把这些东西都装在车里
Pete's mom had all this stuff in the car.
你说我穿行吗
You think it's okay if I wear it, right?
嗯 你穿着比刘夫人好看多了
Yeah. You look way better than Mrs. Liu.
我喜欢对母亲刻薄的赞美
Aw, I love a compliment that's mean to a mom.
弄好了
All right, there you go.
欢迎来到你的新家
Welcome to your new home.
这就是我们睡觉的地方吗
Wow. So this is where we're gonna sleep.
这上面要搭帐篷吗