女大当自强

罪恶摇滚俱乐部
终极体验
你好 我是来吃工作日自助午餐的
Hello. I'm here for the weekday lunch buffet.
7块钱
Yeah, seven bucks.
你可以在除了大腿舞区域外的任何地方吃
You can eat anywhere except the lap dance area.
卫生规范很严格
Health codes are very strict.
为什么 确保屁♥股♥不会碰到食物吗
Why is that? Just to make sure that no ass gets in the food?
你是卫♥生♥部♥的吗
Are you from the Health Department?
-不不 因为如果你是的话
- No, no. - 'Cause if you are,
你得表明身份 不然就是诱陷
you have to say. Otherwise it's entrapment.
不不 我发誓我不是
No. No, no. No, I swear I'm not.
我其实是新闻工作者
I'm actually, um, I'm a journalist.
我工作的报社派我来这儿
Yeah, I'm here to write a review of the buffet
写一篇自助餐点评
for the paper that I work for.
-酷 -是挺酷的 对吗
- Cool. - Yeah, it is kinda cool, right?
我们都在这儿干活 做我们的工作
We're both here workin', doin' our jobs.
没事 你们不用跳的
Oh, it's OK, you don't have to do that.
我主要是来吃虾的
I'm mostly here for the shrimp, so...
我们必须跳
We literally do.
只要有顾客 我们就得跳
If there's a customer here, we have to dance.
-休息室里有标牌 -好的
- There's a sign in the break room. - Oh. OK.
我的天
Oh, my God.
这是你们做的吗 还是说这里有厨师
Do you guys make this, or... is there a chef?
中餐外卖♥♥
It's Chinese delivery.
是吗 感觉很新鲜
Oh. Really? 'Cause it's so fresh.
街对面就有家中餐馆
There's a Chinese restaurant across the street.
好的
OK.
酷
Cool.
你想要什么
So what do you want?
我之前在想我从没穿过丁字裤
Oh. Well, I was thinking I've never worn a thong before,
我也不知道 我感觉会把我逼疯
and I-- I don't know, I just feel like it would drive me insane,
我会担心
and, like, I would be worried
上面会沾上我的屎
that I was gonna get... my poop on it.
屁♥眼♥脱了毛才能穿丁字裤
You don't wear a thong unless you have a waxed asshole.
如果屁♥眼♥脱了毛 就不会沾上屎
Yeah, if you have a waxed asshole, then you can't get poop on it.
好吧 当然了 很有道理
OK, that's... Of course. That makes total sense.
我开始感觉我对自己的屁♥眼♥一无所知
I'm starting to feel like I don't know anything about my own asshole.
这么说吧
Put it like this.
-你有一杯布丁 -嗯
- You have a cup of pudding, OK, - Mm-hmm.
你把它倒在光滑的厨台上
and you dump it on a smooth, nice countertop.
-然后你擦干净 -嗯
- And then you wipe it up. - Yeah.
如果你把那布丁倒在草坪上
And then you dump that pudding on grass.
情况会怎样
What do you got?
一团糟
A mess.
这 这些对我来说是新点子
Wow. That's-- OK, these are new ideas for me,
不过很有道理
but they make sense.
我能问问你们 你们会感到奇怪吗
Could I also ask you, like, does it ever feel weird
穿着内♥裤♥ 然后男人到这来
to be in your underwear and then have men come in here
指挥你们做什么
and tell you what to do?
男人没资格指挥我该做什么
Men do not tell me what to do.
我有丰臀和大奶 只能我指挥他们
I've got a fat ass and big titties. I tell them what to do.
我从没这么想过
I never thought about it that way.
我知道有的人会说
Yeah, I know some people are gonna say,
你知道 "她就是个脱衣舞娘"
you know, "She's just a stripper."
但我很擅长 我赚钱 我自己定规矩
But I'm good at it, and I make money, and I make my own rules. So...
是的
Yeah.
真好 我喜欢
That-- that's so great. I-I love that.
-我肯定做不到 -你可以的 贱♥人♥
- I could never pull that off. - Yes you could, bitch.
你也有丰臀和大奶
You've got a fat ass and big titties.
你该指挥男人该做什么
You should be telling men what to do.
谢谢
Thank you!
刚才好棒
That was so nice.
真有意思
This is really fun.
你下来后 这是给你的
When you come down, this is for you.
女大当自强
第一季 第二集
弗兰 你屁♥眼♥有脱过毛吗
Fran, have you ever waxed your asshole?
惊喜吧 恭喜你的第一篇文章
Surprise! Happy first article!
你太好了
Oh, this is so, so nice!
我们要开两人派对吗
Are we having a little two-person party?
不 你只是早到了 还会有人来
No, you're just early. There's gonna be other people here,
为了庆祝你的成功我们要轰趴
and we're gonna get fucked up in your honor.
我的天
Oh, my gosh.
我这么早赶回来是想写文章的
Well, I only rushed home 'cause I was gonna write my article,
但我想得等到我们开完派对再写了
but I guess I'll write it after we have a party...
天 有人在门口
My God. There's someone at the door.
而且他们就站在那
And they're just standing there.
-是谁 -为什么不敲门
- Who is it? - Why aren't they knocking?
我们该怎么办
What should we do?
我该去开门吗
Should I get it?
-是瑞恩 -天
- Oh, it's Ryan-- - Oh, God!!!
天 为什么
Oh, God, why?!
天啊 你还好吗
God-- God, are you OK?
你在哪
Where are you?
这事我可以把你告到小额索偿法庭上去
I could bring you to small claims court for this.
小额索偿法庭要30块 你有30块吗
Small claims court costs $30. Do you have $30?
当然 我看着像什么
Of course! What do I look like?
性冷淡的泰德·卡钦斯基[炸♥弹♥客]
Norm-core Ted Kaczynski.
还有灼烧感吗
It's still burning?
抱歉 但我也不知道你为什么会来
Well, I'm sorry, but I also don't know why you're here.
我想跟你谈话 安妮
I wanted to talk to you, Annie.
嗯 再见
Yeah, bye.
接受你用胡椒粉喷雾喷我给我的道歉
Apology accepted for pepper-spraying me in the face.
我不给白人道歉
I don't apologize to white people.
我不知道
I really don't know
还有什么可说的
what there is to talk about.
真的 说什么
Honestly. What?
我刚在门廊上想我要说什么
I was trying to figure out what I was gonna say out on the porch.
你离开我家后
When you left my place,
真的让我慌了
that really freaked me out.
好吧 怎么个慌法 难过 害怕 还是什么
OK. Freaked out how? Like sad, scared, what?
不害怕 不难过 也不是不难过
Not scared, not sad, not not sad...
我不知道 我想
I don't know, it's like I guess--
我不知道你想说什么
I don't know what you're trying to say.
我喜欢你
I like you.
好吧
Ok.
你喜欢我
You like me.
我也喜欢你 我一直喜欢
I like you, too. I always have.
可是
But
我感觉我没法告诉你我生活中的这件大事
I didn't feel like I could tell you this huge thing in my life.
堕胎的事吗
The abortion thing.
是的
Yes.
而这 这很糟糕
And that's-- that's so bad.
如果是这样的话 我们就不该在一起
And if that's how it is, then we should not be together.
嗯 可是...
OK, but...
你不能就这么走了
you can't just be gone.
我没意识到我会这么难受
I didn't realize I was gonna feel this bad.
我需要你在我身边
I need you with me.
就像那些陪着戴墨镜的人的狗
Like... like one of those dogs with those guys in sunglasses.
你是说盲人的导盲犬吗
What, like a blind person and a seeing-eye dog?
不 我也不知道 我不会说话
No, like-- I don't know. I'm not good with words.
告诉我你想要什么
Just tell me what you want.
你现在说的都是对的
OK, but you're saying all the right stuff now,
尽管你说得很混乱
even if it is in your like, garbled way,
但你得真的做到才行
but you have to actually do it.
我们去约会吧
Let's go out on a date.
你是说户外
Like... out?
在户外的约会吗
Like an "Out" Date?
是的
Yeah.
好
Ok.
我可以
I'll do that.
好
Good.