天堂镇警局（2018）

做脱衣舞男 名叫炖香肠 我听说他不只是收小费
named Simmer Sausage, and I heard he took more than tips.
小心
Look out!
离退休只有6小时了 差点就死了
Almost died, and with only six hours to retirement.
天哪 碧翠丝会难过吗？
Boy, would Beatrice have been sad.
而且 她是坐轮椅的人
Plus, she's in a wheelchair
而我是唯一能照顾她的人
and I'm the only one who can take care of her,
但幸运的是
but fortunately,
很快我们将在
soon we'll be dining
杰克逊维尔最好的餐厅
in the finest restaurant in Jacksonville:
澳拜客牛排店用餐
Outback Steakhouse.
开始绽放洋葱吧 伙计们
Start blooming that onion, mates,
因为我和碧翠丝大脑的右侧一样活跃
because I'm as alive as the right side of Beatrice's brain!
是的 那家伙玩完了
Yeah, that guy's fucked.
我想既然我拥有你我别无选择 只能接纳你
I guess since I own you, I have no choice but to take you in.
热饼干
Hot crackers!
自从我成为鲍勃巴克的私人性♥奴♥后我就没住过狗屋
I haven't lived in a doghouse since I was Bob Barker's personal gimp.
是的 他一直想让我进到…他的喉咙去
Yeah, he always wanted me to come on down... his throat.
或许节目终究还是会很有趣
Maybe show funny after all.
很好 霍普森
Nice, Hopson.
我还认为朗普尔曼就很肤浅了
And I thought Ron Perlman had a low brow.
朗普尔曼说好话说的过早了
Ron Perlman speak too soon.
住手
Stop it!
达斯提 这到底是怎么回事？
Dusty, what the hell's going on here?
罪犯们厌倦了俄♥罗♥斯♥方块所以他们都改玩真人快打了
Criminals got tired of Tetris so they all switched to Mortal Kombat!
过来
Get over here.
Get over here是真人快打里面标志人物蝎子Scorpion的标志语句
干掉他！
吉娜赢了！
完美的胜利
Flawless victory.
这一段为游戏经典的终结场景
要么我的血糖低要么吉娜是个该死的恶魔
Either my blood sugar's low or Gina's a goddamn demon.
爸爸 外面发生了骚乱！你在做什么?
Dad, there's a riot out there! What are you doing?
我要对这家伙进行水刑直到他承认自己是首脑
I'm waterboarding this guy 'til he admits he's the Kingpin.
克劳福德把waterboard理解成了water(水)和board(木板)
谢谢
Thanks.
我认为你做得不对
I don't think you're doing that right.
我想你♥爸♥爸在网上找到了一份酷刑方法的清单
I think your daddy found a list of torture methods on the internet,
但是没有花时间去找出它们到底是什么
but didn't take the time to find out what they actually were.
好吧 为此 我要让你再受点刑
All right. Just for that, I'm putting you back in the rack.
这个是我最喜欢的
This one's my favorite.
你真的认为罗比是首脑吗？
Do you really think Robby is the Kingpin?
不 我要折磨镇上的每个人
No. I'm just going to torture the piss out of everybody in town
直到我发现是谁
until I find out who it is.
你是下一个 凯文
You're up next, Kevin.
这太疯狂了
That's insane!
我一直都很尊敬你 爸爸
I always looked up to you, Dad.
我想成为像你一样的人但我终于意识到事实
I wanted to be just like you, but I finally realize the truth.
你不是一个好警♥察♥
You're just not a good cop.
凯文 你怎么能这么说？我是个好警♥察♥
How could you say that, Kevin? I am a good cop.
警长 我需要点帮助
Chief, I need a little help.
其中一个囚犯偷了我的枪朝我开了七…
One of these prisoners stole my gun and shot me seven--
八枪
...eight times.
你想来第九枪吗？滚出去
You wanna make it nine? Get out!
这对你的案子没有帮助 爸爸
It's not helping your case, Dad.
哦 真的吗？我会向你证明我是个好警♥察♥
Oh, really? I'll prove to you that I am a good cop.
呆伯特 你在这儿
Delbert, there you are!
伙计 警长一整天都在折磨我
Man, the chief's been torturing my ass all day.
他也折磨我 他把我放进了“铁娘子”乐队
He tortured me too. He put me in the Iron Maiden.
我一点也不喜欢重金属
I don't even like heavy metal.
我不明白 我要回去看看
I don't get it. I'm gon' go back in there
我能不能再吮吸警长的奶头
and see if I can suck on Chief's titties again.
（招租 联邦调查局）
好吧 达斯提
All right, Dusty.
我要从联邦调查局偷回我的证据
I'm going to steal my evidence back from the FBI
找到那个混♥蛋♥首脑
and find that son of a bitch Kingpin.
谢谢你跟着我放哨
Thanks for tagging along to be my lookout.
谢谢你来派对城 我终于买♥♥到这件猫盗窃装了
Thanks for stopping by Party City so I could buy this cat burglar costume.
喵
Meow!
天啊 在我找首脑证据的时候看好门
Oh, Jesus! Just watch the door while I find the Kingpin evidence,
不能让他们知道我们在这里
but they can't know we're here,
所以 你做什么都行 就是不要碰任何东西
so, whatever you do, don't touch a thing.
哎呀 我不是故意这么做的
Oops. I didn't do it on purr-pose.
妈的 有人来了
Shit, someone's coming.
不是我 我就是这样呼吸的
Not me, that's just how I breathe.
快点 进来
Come on, in here! - Whoa!
克拉珀探员 你在吗？
Agent Clappers, you in there?
-我们完蛋了！-没这么快
We're screwed! -Not so fast.
这件戏服不是我在派对城买♥♥的唯一东西
This costume ain't the only thing I picked up at Party City.
嗨 我是克拉珀探员
Hi, I'm Agent Clappers.
你竟敢打开我办公室的门
How dare you open the door to my office.
我太生气了 我决定不动嘴说话
I'm so mad, I decided to talk without moving my mouth.
我是克拉珀探员
I am Agent Clappers.
对不起 先生 我不知道你在这里 有人闯入了大楼
Sorry, I didn't realize you were in here. Someone broke into the building.
我闯进来测试你 你失败了
I broke in to test you and you failed.
现在出去吧 乒乒乓乓 鸡♥巴♥奶♥子♥
Now take a hike. Bing bang boom. Dick titties.
我是克拉珀探员
I am Agent Clappers!
是的 先生 对不起 先生
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir!
我不敢相信他相信了
I can't believe he bought it.
那是一个糟糕的克拉珀模仿秀
That was a terrible Clappers impression.
谁在我办公室？乒乒乓乓 鸡♥巴♥奶♥子♥
Who's in my office? Bing bang boom. Dick titties.
-我是克拉珀探员-警长 我们得离开这里
I am Agent Clappers. -Chief, we gotta get out of here.
不 我不能空手而归
No, I can't leave empty-handed.
这附近一定有证据 快看
There's gotta be some piece of evidence around here. Ooh! Look!
标有“首脑”的地址 找到了 走吧
An address labeled "Kingpin." Bingo! Let's go!
抱歉 克拉珀探员 我不知道你在这里
Sorry, Agent Clappers. I didn't realize you were in here.
等等
Wait a minute.
克拉珀探员从来不工作到这么晚
Agent Clappers never works this late.
另外
Also,
我才是克拉珀探员
I am Agent Clappers!
开始吧 达斯提！是时候抓到我们的首脑了
Let's roll, Dusty! It's time to catch us a kingpin.
看起来这只小猫又一次正好落在他的…
Well, it looks like this little cat has once again landed right on his...
睾丸上
testicles.
好险
That was a close one.
离退休还有4小时23分钟
Four hours and 23 minutes until retirement
我差点被一只大型性感猫压死
and I was almost crushed under a giant sexy cat.
没有人喂碧翠丝 她会慢慢饿死
Beatrice would have slowly starved to death with no one to feed her.
乌鸦会吃掉她的眼睛
Crows would have made a meal of her eyes.
哦 对不起 乌鸦
Well, sorry, crows,
我今天不能死
I'm not gonna die today.
是啊 那家伙会没事的
Yeah, that guy is going to be just fine.
我开玩笑的 他完蛋了
I'm kidding. He's fucked.
我不是一只坏猫咪吗？
Ain't I a bad kitty?
好的 她来了
Okay, there she is.
我们要把门踢开 把那个白人老婊♥子♥打晕
We're gonna kick down the door, knock that old white bitch out,
然后拿回我们的钱
and take our money back.
老板 那个计划简单而有效但不够搞笑
That plan is simple and efficient, boss, but lacks comic hijinks.
所以 让我们来上演古老的“非洲王子”骗局
So instead, let's pull the old "African prince" scam.
嗨 亲爱的
Cheerio, my love.
我是来自非洲最黑暗地区的尼日利亚王子
I am a Nigerian prince, here from darkest Africa.
我知道 我收到你的邮件了
I know. I got your email.
我很想把我所有的钱都给你
I'd love to give you all my money,
但是我已经把所有的钱都捐给了天主教会
but I already donated all of it to the Catholic Church.
太好了
Great.
瓦坎达万岁
Wakanda foreve-e-er!
你下作的爸爸这次真的过分了 凯文
Your dirty, dirty daddy's really crossed the line this time, Kevin.
不 这不可能是我爸爸
No, this couldn't have been my dad.
他也许是个不称职的警官但他不是罪犯
He might be an incompetent police officer, but he's not a criminal.
如果你真的相信你那愚蠢下作的爸爸是无辜的
If you really believe your ding-dong dirty daddy is so innocent,
你为什么不证明呢？
why don't you prove it?
-怎么做？-戴窃听器
How? -By wearing a wire.
我想帮助我爸爸但我不是很想戴窃听器
I wanna help my dad, but I don't know about the wire.
你没看过《火线》？那是有史以来最好的剧
What do you mean you don't know about The Wire? It was the best show ever.
我喜欢那个英俊、闷骚的上尉丹尼尔 他常说
I loved it when that handsome, smoldering Lieutenant Daniels was like,