哺乳动物星球（2024）

哺乳动物
保罗
你好啊 美人
你什么时候回来？ 星期一
我想你 我也想你
我想念你的屁♥股♥ 我想念你的小♥弟♥弟♥
♪ Hold me close and hold me fast, the magic... ♪♪
♪ This is la vie en rose... ♪♪
♪ To turn into love songs... ♪♪
我们要错过了 -错过什么？
We are going to miss it. - What?
日落 -加速前进
The sunset! - Put your foot down!
你看到这些路了吗？
Have you seen these roads?
在网上 有一对夫妇 泡着热水浴
On the website there is a couple sitting in a hot tub,
喝着香槟 看日落
drinking champagne, watching the sunset.
那就是我们 我们付钱就是为了这个
That's us. That's what we paid for.
要是我们死了呢？ -环顾四周
What if we die? - Look around you.
我在看… -你能不能…
I'm watching the fucking... - Can you honestly,
想到更好的死法？
seriously think of a better way to go?
如果我们越过那座悬崖
If we go over that cliff,
翻滚250米 还燃烧起来
roll eight hundred feet and burst into flames,
我们就会成为我们认识的最酷的人
we'd be the coolest people we know!
好吧 等一下
Okay, hang on!
好的 等等
Okay. Hold on, hold on.
我们做到了-
We made it. Okay.
是哪一间？ -我不知道
Oh. Which one is it? - I don't know.
我不记得是那间蓝色小木屋 还是另一间了
I can't remember if it's the blue cabin or the one that isn't blue.
没信♥号♥♥
Oh, shit! I've got no signal.
我想就是那间了 -快走 但要小心点！
I think that's the one. - Quick, go, but be careful!
好的 漂亮
Yes. Whoo! Beautiful.
没时间了！
No. No time!
你要干什么？
What are you doing?
没时间了！
There's no time!
快进来
Get in!
我不能进去！ -跳进热水浴缸
I can't get in. - Get in the hot tub!
好了 -好了
Yay! Okay! - Okay.
我们成功了！
We made it.
看看这景色
Look at that.
所以呢
So...
你是想先打开行李 还是先做♥爱♥ 再打开行李？
Do you want to unpack or fuck first and then unpack?
第二个
B.
如果你可以和我
If you could be sitting with me
或者历史上任何一个女人 坐在一起 你会选择谁？
or any woman in history, who would you choose?
真是难以定夺…
Ah, it's a toss-up between you,
你、简、曼斯菲尔德和方达
Janes Mansfield and Fonda,
黛比哈莉 还是碧昂丝 我都摇摆不定
Debbie Harry, or Beyoncé at any point in history.
你呢？
You?
马龙白兰度
Um... Marlon Brando.
阿尔贝加缪…
Ah. - Albert Camus...
拉斯普♥京♥
Uh-hmm. - Rasputin...
俄♥罗♥斯♥最伟大的爱情机器
"Russia's greatest love machine."
保罗纽曼
Um, Paul Newman,
伊基波普 -那位年轻的猫王
Iggy Pop, the young Elvis Presley.
这里越来越拥挤了
It's getting crowded.
亨利米勒
Henry Miller.
瑞恩高斯林
Ryan Gosling.
还有你
And you.
不 等等 史蒂夫麦昆
Oh, wait! Steve McQueen.
亨利米勒
Henry Miller.
瑞恩高斯林
Ryan Gosling.
奥蒂斯雷丁
Otis Redding.
普林斯和你
Prince. You.
我们能在这些事情上坦诚相待 真是太好了
It's nice that we can be honest about these things.
是我造成的
Ow. - Ah, I made him do that.
他醒了
Oh, he's waking up.
是吗？
Yeah?
是
Yeah.
感觉到了吗？ -嗯
Feel that? - Yeah.
你认为他会喜欢我们吗？
Do you think he's gonna like us?
一开始会
At first.
之后他会觉得我们很丢人
Then he'll find us embarrassing.
之后就会讨厌我们
Then hate us.
希望过段时间 他又会喜欢我们了
Then hopefully after a while he'll like us again.
但别太喜欢
But not too much, eh, so when we're gone,
这样当我们离开人世 他会有点想念我们 之后就把我们忘得一干二净了
he misses us for a bit, and then forgets all about us.
周年快乐 白金汉夫人
Happy Anniversary, Mrs Buckingham.
白金汉夫人
And you, Mr. Buckingham.
你来听听
Listen to this!
“在寻找终极休闲吗？
"Looking for the ultimate in relaxation?"
“来自普利茅斯的合格按♥摩♥师索尼娅
Qualified masseuse, Sonia, from Plymouth,
“提供热石、瑞典式深度按♥摩♥
provides hot stone, Swedish slash deep tissue massage,
“灵气按♥摩♥或耳烛疗法
Reiki, and slash or ear candling.
“75英镑起”
"From seventy-five quid."
我们做吗？ -好啊！
Shall we? - Do it!
好吧
All right.
来自普利茅斯的索尼娅…
Sonia from Plymouth.
今天是你的幸运日
It is your lucky day.
请给我预约两位灵气按♥摩♥
Two Reiki slash massages, please!
阿曼丁？
Amandine!
阿曼丁 出来
Amandine! You gotta get out here!
有条鲸鱼
There's a whale!
我不是在开玩笑 那边有条鲸鱼
I'm not joking, there's a fucking whale!
快出来 有条鲸鱼啊
Come and... there's a fucking whale...
嗨
Hi.
你好
Hello.
阿曼丁！
Amandine!
这里有条鲸鱼 还有汤姆琼斯 真正的汤姆琼斯
There's a whale and Tom Jones, an actual Tom Jones!
阿曼丁？ -杰米…
Amandine... - Jamie,
我在流血
I'm bleeding.
会没事的
It's gonna be okay.
感觉不像没事
No, it doesn't feel like it's going to be okay.
你不能进来 -我不想离开她
Excuse me, you can't come any further. - I don't wanna leave her.
你得在这里等着
Sorry, you have to wait here.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
你感觉怎么样？
How are you feeling?
兴奋
High.
太好了
Well, that's something.
我们往好处想吧
Let's look on the bright side.
至少现在他永远不会恨我们了
At least now he'll never hate us.
是啊
Yeah.
你昨晚做什么了？
What did you do last night?
我…
I, uh...
我喝了一杯苏格兰威士忌
I had a scotch.
然后我花了六个小时上网查资料
And then I spent like six hours on Google.
我现在知道所有与蓝鲸
I now know all there is about blue whales.
及汤姆琼斯有关的事了
And Tom Jones.
你可以考考我
You can test me.
地球上最大的哺乳动物吗？ 汤姆琼斯
"Largest mammal on Earth", Tom Jones.
他的舌头重达2.7吨♥
His tongue weighs 2.7 tons.
汤姆琼斯的阴♥茎♥ 是所有生物体中最长的
Tom Jones' penis is the largest of any living organism.
有3米长
Ten feet.
天啊 没关系的 没关系的
It's okay. It's okay. Shh, it's okay.
宝贝
Oh, baby. It's okay.
你还好吗？
Are you all right?
你有什么需要？
What do you need?
我们有必要告诉大家
We need to tell people. - We don't.
没必要 -事情发生了
We don't need to do anything. - It's happened.
我没有他们的电♥话♥号♥码 宝贝
I don't even have everybody's numbers, baby.
我有
Here.
给大家打电♥话♥吧
Call everyone.
我想要办一个葬礼
I want a funeral.
不是葬礼…
Not... Not a funeral... - Okay.
一种道别仪式
...something, something to say goodbye.
没问题
Sure.
医生把你推进手术室的时候