生活点滴（2015）

不
No.
打爆爆
Down.
伙计们 你们肯定爱死这个了
Oh, guys, guys, guys, you are gonna love this.
坐等看我拿的东西
Wait till you see what I got.
你手上是有其他东西吗
Is it something other than what's in your hand?
听着
Listen, I know
我知道自从我们家失火后
it's been a lot having our whole family here
住在这边打扰到你们 所以就做了这个家务转盘
since our house fire, so this chore wheel
这个家务转盘 可以给你们 "休斯[息]"一下
is gonna help us... pay our Hughes.
真是个好笑话 - 是吗
That's a fun joke. - Right?
每次你干这些事情
Every time you make it,
我就觉得 "哦 有趣儿"
I think, "Oh, fun."
苏菲亚
Sophia,
我们来转转盘 看看谁会
let's spin it and see who gets
协助妈妈做晚餐
to help Mom-Mom with dinner tonight.
妈 等等 等等 等等
Oh, Mom, wait, wait, wait.
我来 我来拿 我来拿
Me. I'll get that. I got it. I got it, got it,
我来 - 谢谢你
got it. I got it. - Thank you.
耶 当然 这是...
Yeah, sure. It's...
咳 这么多空酒瓶子
Whoa. There's a lot of empty wine bottles in here.
我们不是几天前才喝完的吗
Didn't we just empty this a couple days ago?
哦 耶 嗯 这是好观点
Oh, yeah. Well, it's a good point.
现在我要去酒行买♥♥酒
Now I can go to the liquor store.
总之 结果这是只鸭子
Anyway, turns out it was a duck.
我想老妈有酗酒问题
I'm pretty sure that mom has a drinking problem.
好吗 因为我一直住在这里 我看着她
Okay? Now that I've been living here, I'm watching her.
她喝了很多红酒
She's drinking a lot of wine.
你觉得会发生什么事
What do you think is going on?
我不知道 格雷
I don't know, Greg.
我是说 也许她意识到
I mean, maybe she realizes
她浪费了人生的美好年华
that she wasted the best years of her life
养了三个不知报恩的孩子 哼嗯
raising three kids that don't appreciate it. Hmm?
总之 我挺确定老妈有酗酒问题
Anyway, I'm pretty sure she's got a drinking problem.
这张是格雷宝宝在洗澡
And here's baby Greg taking a bath.
他屁屁的毛三个月内就掉光了
All that tushy hair fell off at three months.
嗯 现在一些头发回来了 - 嗯
Yeah. Some of it came back. - Mm.
嘿 嗯 妈妈 要再斟满红酒吗
Hey, uh, Mom, you need a refill on your wine?
不 谢谢 亲爱的 我很好
No, thanks, dear. I'm fine.
妈妈 等等 让我来帮你
Oh, Mom, wait, wait, wait. Let me help you with that.
这会很有趣的
this is gonna be so fun.
不 我-我学了相当酷的... - 不 甜心 我-我真的
No, I-I learned a really cool... - No, honey, I-I really
觉得应该一个人... - 不
think that this should be a one-per... - No.
我刚学了个相当酷的办法
I just learned a really cool way
来削鳄梨的果皮
to get the pit right on out of the avocado.
等等 嗯... -看 看
Wait. Uh... - Watch. Look.
哦 喔
Oh, wow.
多棒呢...
How great...?
这是有多棒呢
How great is that?
真是生活小智识呀
That's a wonderful life hack.
我是说 这是...
I mean, this is...
谢谢你帮我倒酒
Oh, thank you for that.
因为你知道...
because you know...
酒精是最重要的材料之一
this is the most important ingredient.
这是只有你知我知的秘密喔
It's a secret. No one tells you,
但它是... 它是用来做鳄梨色拉酱的
but it what... it's what gives the guacamole the-the thing.
不不不 妈妈
No, no, no, can't drink
不能把神秘配方喝掉
the secret ingredient. Mom!
好吧 所以妈妈可能会喝酒
Okay, so Mom may be drinking,
但她肯定没有酗酒的问题
but she definitely doesn't have a drinking problem.
不 妈妈有一个希瑟问题 - 对
No. Mom has a Heather problem. - Yeah.
马特 你成长了不少啊
Matt, you are moving up in the world.
欢迎加入顶尖二人组 - 耶
Welcome to the top two kids. - Yeah.
我愿你喜欢其中关于马特的笑话
I hope you enjoy inside jokes about Matt.
我是说 希瑟
I mean, Heather.
关于希瑟的笑话
Jokes about Heather.
嘿 妈妈 - 嘿 甜心
Hey, Mom. - Hi, honey.
呃 我们正在谈...
Um, we were talking...
并且-且我们注意到
And-and we've noticed that, uh,
希瑟住在这里
well, you seem a little bit overwhelmed
好像让你有点不知所措
by having Heather here.
没有 我很高兴才对
Oh, no, no. It-It's joyous.
就像彗星在大气中燃烧
It's like when a comet blazes into the atmosphere,
世界各地的原住民都觉得地球将要毁灭
and primitive people everywhere think the world is ending,
它可能不会再出现在你的生命中
and yet it may never come again in your lifetime,
所以你应该珍惜
and so you should treasure it.
如果希瑟在打扰你的话
You do know that it is okay
说出口也没关系喔
to say when Heather is bothering you?
她没有打扰... -呃...
She's not! Mm. - Uh...
希瑟一番好意
Heather means well.
所以她才把视频录像机里
And that's why she deletes entire seasons
全套的鲨鱼周删掉
of Shark Week on the DVR.
为了释放空间
To free up space.
我录下来的执法悍将都去哪了
Where's JAG, damn it?
这剧都已经斩了 也不再播
They don't make it anymore,
一旦删掉了 就不能再回味了
and once you delete it, they're gone forever.
妈妈 第一步
Yeah, okay. Mom, the first step
解决你的希瑟问题
in dealing with your Heather problem
就是承认你有希瑟问题
is admitting that you have a Heather problem.
你说得对
You're right.
我已经跌到谷底了
I've hit rock bottom.
但是别告诉希瑟
But don't tell Heather.
她会崩溃的
She'll be crushed.
说到 "崩溃"
Speaking of "crushed,"
不如咱们在她回来之前
why don't we whip up a batch of daiquiris
调几杯鸡尾杯喝喝
before she gets back?
来吧 孩子们
Come on, kids.
虽然老妈不会承认
Yeah, I don't think Mom would admit this, but I think
不过我觉得 她是因为不知所措才会喝酒的
maybe all the drinking is just from her being overwhelmed.
格雷 废话哦
Oh, Greg, well, duh.
我们全家都在这里陪她
I mean, yeah, of course, she's overwhelmed
她当然会开心极了[不知所措]
with all of us here.
哦 不 我认为你没理解到
Oh. No, I don't think you understand.
她的问题事实上是...
Her problem is actually with...
没事没事
Uh, uh, uh, it's okay.
希瑟自然会懂
Heather gets it.
我懂了
Oh. I got it. Yeah. Oh.
你们是最棒 最亲的兄弟
You are the best, sweetest brothers.
要成为顶尖二人组 就是要让第三人倒下
Part of being in the top two is letting number three fail.
说的对
Right on.
等等 那就是说你们这些家伙...
Wait. Does that mean that you guys...?
嗯额 很久了
Mm-hmm. For a long time.
发生了什么
What-What's going on?
我们觉得你需要有宁静的时间
We thought that you could use some peace and quiet.
耶 所以我们要一起去迪士尼乐园
Yeah, so we're all going to Disneyland.
我会假装中暑
I'm gonna fake sunstroke
然后整天在急救棚里闲逛
and then hang out in the recovery tent all day.
谢谢你 谢谢你
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.
等他们走了
And while they're gone,
你和我就能在家泡一天温泉了
you and I are gonna do a little at-home spa day.
就像一颗彗星 - 嗯哼
It's like a comet. - Mm-hmm.
一生中只有一次
It only comes once in a lifetime,
必须珍惜它
and you must treasure it.
你真的有很大的感触喔
You are... you are really feeling this.
是我帮你约好的男人呀
It's a man I'm excited for you to meet!
妈妈 不
Oh, Mom, no!
我不会和提姆离婚
I am not divorcing Tim!
你得别再问了
You have to stop asking.
希瑟 这是 赫克
Heather, this is "Hecor."
他是工程承包商
He's a contractor.
他现在开始会重整你的家了
He's gonna start work on your house!