生活点滴（2015）

谢谢你外公
Thanks, Pop-Pop.
我觉得更安全了
I already feel safer.
天呐
Oh, my God!
我们最好离开这
We'd better go.
是的 我们赶紧走
Yeah, let's get out of here.
你怎么想
So, what do you think
有关泰勒要宣布♥什♥么吗
Tyler's announcement is?
可能是克莱怀孕了
Either Clementine's pregnant
或者他们想让我们听首新歌♥
or they want us to listen to a new song.
老天 我希望她怀孕了
God, I hope she's pregnant.
大家
Hi, everyone.
谢谢你们能来
Thank you for coming.
在重重决议
So, after much consideration
和推特投票后 克莱和我决定
and a Twitter poll, Clementine and I have decided
我们的婚姻随着时间而走到尽头了
that our marriage has come to its natural conclusion.
什么 不
What? No.
不行不行不行
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
所以婚姻都有到头的时候
All marriages come to a natural conclusion.
你得坚持呀
Y-You stick it out.
没关系的妈妈 这是最好的决定
It's okay, Mom. It's for the best.
你就不能跪求她要回你这屌♥丝吗
Can't you convince her to take you back?
不 这是我的主意
No, it was my idea.
如果泰勒都能离婚了
If Tyler gets to quit his marriage,
那我能不打乐乐棒球了吗
can I quit tee-ball?
我都打两回了
I've been doing that twice as long.
真的很抱歉 亲爱的
I'm really sorry, honey.
好怪啊
So strange.
你还没离婚呢 你家孩子倒先离了
You always think you'll divorce before your children.
可不是呗
Yeah.
可怜的泰勒和克莱
Oh, poor Tyler and Clementine.
我还没有跟她道别呢
I-I didn't get to say good-bye to her.
不过我好像也没跟她打过招呼
I don't think I ever said hello to her.
我好像压根就没跟她说过话
I don't think we ever even had a conversation.
算了吧
Oh, well.
大家好
Hey, family.
给 - 谢谢
Here. - Thank you.
爱你
Love you.
我也爱你
I love you.
希瑟 你这个骗子
You're a liar, Heather,
真是屡教不改
the same damn liar you've always been.
嗨
Hi.
那什么 这怎么个情况
Hi. Wh-Wh-What's going on?
你不是跟我们说你离婚了吗
You told us that you were getting a divorce.
我是说 从法律上讲我们是申请离婚了
Well, I mean, legally, we have filed for divorce,
但是并不妨碍我们住一个
but that doesn't mean we can't still share
房♥子 一起听音乐 一起养猫啊
a house or our music or our cat.
是滴 我们刚养了只猫
Yeah, we just got a cat.
尽管可能现在不是时候吧
Probably wasn't the best timing, though.
但是 点就在于
Look, the point is,
我和泰勒还会一如既往的是好朋友
Tyler and I are still gonna be best friends
互相关爱 支持对方
who just love and support each other
然后大家还能开始新的恋情
as we explore new relationships.
我们管这个叫开放式浪漫 - 开放式浪漫
We're calling it romantic unsyncing. - Romantic unsyncing.
写信给圣诞老人时
Is it okay if in the Christmas letter,
能直接写你们已离婚吗
if I just call it divorced?
不可以 琼
No, Joan.
好吧
Oh, okay.
和你的小谈话很愉快哦
I've enjoyed our little chat.
其实你一开始说
You know, when you first said
我们应该变成开放式
that we should unsync,
我还有点担心
I wasn't so sure,
不过这个主意简直棒呆了
but it was a great idea.
我们的关系不该被这些标签框住的
We don't need labels to define our relationship.
这倒是提醒我 我应该把网上的状态改一下
Which reminds me, I should define what we are online.
我也是
Me, too.
好了
Okay.
单身
Single.
我也是 单身
Me, too. Single.
我的电♥话♥肯定坏了
Oh. Mine must be broken.
我们能谈谈吗
Can we talk?
嗨 孩子们
Hey, guys.
听着 我们刚刚...
Listen, we were just thi...
亲爱的 - 是这个房♥子变小了吗
Honey. - What, did this house get smaller?!
我们得给猫腾个地方
Uh, we had to make room for the cat.
我的神啊 - 天啊 亲爱的 对不起
Oh, God. - Oh, geez, honey, sorry.
你站在他的猫砂上了
You're standing in his litter box.
对不起
Oh, sorry.
你能先别管这些事了吗
Will you just cut it out, Tim?
我...
I'm...
好的
Okay.
在你们作出这个会
Before you guys make this permanent
永远改变人生的决定之前
life-altering decision,
我们能先聊聊吗
could we talk about
你们的婚姻生活哪不好了
what it is that went wrong in your marriage?
我们平时都没什么可聊的
We just don't really have anything to talk about
除了是一起看电视的时候 - 对
unless we watch a TV show together. - Yeah.
然后我们滚床单 也就
Yeah, and then we'd only have sex, like,
一周五次吧
five times a week.
只算床上的
Only in the bed.
你们刚刚说的
What you're talking about,
那就叫婚姻生活
that's marriage.
对 而且事实上还是很不错的 - 对
Yeah. It's-it's a really good one, actually. - Yes.
看见没 我就知道你们不会懂
See, I knew you guys wouldn't understand.
婚姻关系是你们
Relationships have evolved
这代思想传统保守
way beyond your generation's limited,
的老年人理解不了的
conventional view of love.
我现在还能打他屁屁吗 - 亲爱的...
Is he too old to spank? - Honey...
我要准备一下了
Oh, you know, I have to go get ready
不然一会儿的约会就迟到了
or I'm gonna be late for my date.
你已经开始有约了
You have a date already?
对啊 这才是这件事的意义所在
Yeah, that's why we're doing this.
你希望我去送你吗
Hey, do you want me to drop you off?
好啊
Sure.
谢谢
Thanks.
看见没
See?
现代的关系里不一定只有两个人的
Modern relationships don't have to be binary.
你们好好学着点
Let that wash over you.
好吧 我真的要打他屁屁
All right, he's getting spanked.
他爱几岁几岁 过来
I don't care how old he is. Come here.
别呀 - 揍他 揍他
No. - Hit him. Hit him.
过... 你别跑了 只会适得其反啊
Get... don't you run away from me. You're only making it worse!
你真的确定我们要这么做吗
Are you sure we should be doing this?
一定会特别棒的
It's gonna be great.
你需要我陪你过去吗
Do you want me to walk you in?
别了吧 感觉会有点怪怪的
No. That might be a little weird.
也对 万一他是那种爱吃醋的人呢
Yeah, he might be the jealous type.
而且今天的我也是元气满满呢
And I am having a good hair day.
所以我们是要亲亲 还是抱抱 还是...
So, do we kiss or hug or...?
不如我们同时深呼吸一下吧
What if we just took a deep breath at the same time?
好的 - 好的
Okay. - Okay.
迷倒他们哦
Knock 'em dead.
你知道吗 我想 也许
You know what? I think, maybe,
我们对于婚姻的理解太过时了
maybe our idea of marriage is antiquated
婚姻关系也许真的变了呢
and relationships really are changing.
是啊 不得不说 我知道...
Yeah, I got to say, I know it...
我打他的时候也许没有表现出来
it didn't look like it when I was spanking him,
但是泰勒也让我觉得很骄傲
but I am so proud of the man Tyler's becoming.
是的呢
Oh, yeah.
喂 咋了
Hey, what's up?
她比我好看辣么多
She's so much prettier than me.