生活点滴（2015）

那 你们两只小兔子要留下来喝咖啡吗
So, you bunnies want to stay for coffee?
管它呢 喝一杯 - 好
What the heck, what's one cup? - Yes.
太好了 - 太好了 对了 你们
Great. - Great, great. Hey, say, do you, uh...
你们有什么关于喝咖啡的营歌♥吗
you have any camp songs about drinking coffee?
我们参加夏令营的时候还小
We were children at camp.
那时候还不喝咖啡
We didn't drink coffee.
没错 但我们喝劣质酒饮料
Yeah. But we did drink bug juice!
哦对 劣质酒
Oh! Bug juice!
那 你在外宿营过吗 彼得
So, did you go to sleepaway camp, Peter?
对 彼得 参加过霹雳舞营
Yeah, Peter, uh, went to break-dancing camp.
哦 你回来啦
Oh. Oh, you just getting home?
我刚刚 查看芥末酱过期了没
I was just, uh, checking the expiration date on the mustard.
还有两个月 不过不知不觉就过去了
Still got two months, but that'll sneak up on us.
抱歉 昨晚没有回你信息
I'm sorry that I didn't text you back last night.
我手♥机♥丢了
I lost my phone
就在道奇球场的休息区
in the dugout at Dodger Stadium.
昨晚玩太疯了
Crazy night.
话说 原来球员都人超好的
It turns out the players are super nice, by the way.
是啊 在电视上他们看着就很棒
Yeah. They seem really nice on TV.
对
Yeah.
那什么 要不然
Hey, uh, next time,
下次我们约个暗号♥
maybe we could just have a signal
好让我知道你没事
so that I know you're okay.
比如回个短♥信♥
That signal could be that you text me back.
完全可以
Totally.
其实一开始你说
Hey, when you first said
我们分手吧 我
that we should break up, I...
还有点犹豫 但现在我了解自己多了
wasn't so sure, but I am learning so much about myself.
比如 原来我超级幽默
Like, it turns out I'm super funny!
不管我说什么 大家都会笑
Guys laugh at everything I say,
甚至我没觉得有什么笑点
even when I don't understand the joke.
瞧见了吧
See?
看我多棒
Look at me.
对 你真棒
Yeah. Look at you.
克莱呢
Where's Clementine, anyway?
去看道奇队的客场比赛
The Dodgers have an away game,
显然 她运气不错
and, evidently, she's good luck.
是啊 多少人梦寐以求
Oh, yeah, that's the dream.
像她那么年轻性感招人爱
To be a young, nubile woman.
还那么有趣
And so funny!
对吧 - 是啊
Right? - Yeah.
她...
She's...
但你也不错啦
But what you got's not bad.
你得活跃起来 让姑娘们知道
You got to get out there and let the ladies know
你回归单身狗了
you're down to clown.
我正考虑过个离婚的蜜月
I'm respecting the honeymoon period of our divorce.
我觉得我和克莱需要一点时间
I think Clementine and I should take some time
检验我们的感情
and examine our feelings.
一开始就是感情把你拉进了坑
Oh, feelings are what got you in this mess in the first place.
婚姻 责任 还有那蠢房♥子
Marriage, responsibilities, that stupid house.
小伙子 嗨起来 找点乐子
Man, get out there and have some fun.
反正毫无负担
No strings attached.
我不确定自己准备好了没
I don't know if I'm ready.
给我听好了
You listen to me.
听同样仓促结婚的人一句忠告
You take it from a man who also got married too soon.
一旦结婚 自♥由♥就一去不复返了
You never get these years of freedom back.
听着 我爱你妈妈
Now, I love your mother.
懂吧
You know?
我对所做的选择非常满意 但是
Very happy with the choices I've made, but...
如果我有机会重来
if I had a chance to do it all over again,
我会稍事改变
I'd do it a little different.
然后好好痛快
And I'd do a lot more of it.
懂吧
You know?
再说一遍 我爱你妈
Again, love your mom.
非常幸福
Very happy.
但你得在外面浪一下
But you got to get out there.
为了我俩 你得享受生活
You got to live life for both of us.
咱俩匹配成功让我很高兴
I am so glad we matched.
我以为一个离异人士专属APP里
I thought an app for divorcees
肯定挤满了
was gonna be filled with a bunch of
孤独的失败者
lonely losers.
和皮肤这么光滑的人约会
God, it is just so fascinating to meet someone
真是让我神魂颠倒
who's this naturally smooth.
谢你夸我
Oh, thank you.
很高兴咱俩有很多共同点
I love that we have so much in common
例如咱们都还和前任一起住
still living with our exes,
刚刚开始找人约会
just got on the market,
只是想找点艳遇
not looking for anything serious.
就是 来吧 咱们一起风流快活
Yes! Let's just go crazy and have fun, you know?
反正咱们都有性病
We all have HPV anyway.
咱们 - 是
We do? - Oh, yeah.
你真光滑
So, you're so smooth.
好
Okay.
两个杯子
Two mugs.
成功啦 成功啦
We did it! We did it!
等等 你办没办成
Oh, wait, did we do it,
你是不是在假装
or are we just telling people we did?
对我来说不重要
Doesn't matter to me.
我做到了 - 棒
No. We did it. - Yes!
这杯给亚莉丝
This is for Alex.
亚莉丝 小伙子
Alex! Oh, buddy.
听名字她应该很火♥辣♥
Ah, she sounds hot. Yeah.
是女的对吧
I mean... "she," right?
没关系 没关系
Not that it matters. Doesn't matter.
你开心就好
Just want you to have fun,
这才是咱们男人该过的日子
'cause this is the life that we were meant to lead.
爸 谢谢你
Thank you, Dad.
应该我谢你
No, thank you.
这是男人专属一♥夜♥情♥
This is... a one-night stand for man,
是人类专属一♥夜♥情♥
and one giant-night stand for mankind!
我爱你母亲 我也不会后悔
I love your mother, and I would never choose
自己所走的路
to do anything different.
知道
Okay.
行了 就这样 - 我走啦
Yeah, okay. - I can go?
好
All right.
出去吧
Get out of here.
这家伙
Man.
等等
Hold on.
嗨
Hi.
我
So, I, uh,
穿了你的衬衫
borrowed one of your shirts.
希望你不介意 我穿着有一点
Hope that's okay. It's a little,
紧 - 我肩窄
tight on me. - Yeah, I have really narrow shoulders.
方便我把双手搭在你肩上
Oh, well, easier to wrap my arms around you.
你像一个性感
You're like a sexy...
细长的奶酪
string cheese.
我等不及今晚把你脱♥光♥
And I cannot wait to peel off another piece tonight.
好呀 咱们一起过周末怎么样
Sure. Why don't we make a weekend of it?
就等这句话 去换锁吧
Great. Go ahead and change the locks,
狗♥娘♥养♥的
you son of a bitch.
我和这孩子找到了住的地方
The kids and I have a place to stay.
咖啡 我想喝
Whew! Coffee. Yes, please.
谢谢你 - 不客气
Thank you. - Sure.
我抓到了你
I got you!
别乱跑 拜托
Hey, no running, please.
糟糕 我告诉过你们
Gosh, guys, I told you
别把衣服放这
not to leave your clothes here.
妈 这味道和咱们的苹果汁不一样
Mom, this doesn't taste like our apple juice.
快帮我擦屁屁
I need someone to wipe me!
亲 帮我一下
Honey, can you do it?