新生六居客（2011）

我如何能把三万块钱的比目鱼报销了
How am I supposed to get three grand of turbot past accounts?
这件事就是在原地打转
This thing is spiralling.
欧西亚 如果你有困难就提出来
Oregon, if you're struggling, just reach out
请别人来帮你
and ask for help.
没关系 我能处理好
No, it's fine. I can bury it.
问题总会解决的
These... will not be a problem.
必要的话 我会对预算
I can just make the necessary...
作出调整
adjustments to the budget.
所有事情都会
Everything will be...
托尼 这该死的鞋也是新的
Those are new fucking shoes, Tony.
我都能看见鞋底的标签
I can see the soles!
你们知道他们要在哪举办毕业舞会了吗
Have you seen where they're holding the Graduation Ball?
他妈的乱心酒吧
Fucking Distractions!
我喜欢乱心酒吧
Oh... I like Distractions.
真是太坑了
It's a worm-pit.
基本就是地狱大门
It's basically a portal to hell
上面还装了一个卖♥♥黏糊糊牙刷的自动售货机
with a chewy toothbrush dispenser.
主持人戴了一个可笑的假发 那一晚特别棒
The DJ wears a funny wig. It is a solid night out.
看起来像个绿毛的婊♥子♥
It was like a green quiff,
如果你们能想象出来的话
if you can imagine such a thing.
我想说 为什么不直接去野生豆咖啡店举办呢
I mean, why not go all out and hold it in the fucking Wild Bean Cafe?!
听起来也不是很离谱啊
That's not as mad as it sounds.
小金如果你不喜欢 你为什么不自己搞一个
If you don't like it, why don't YOU sort something, Kingo?
维多 说的对 我要自己搞一个
Oh, yeah, Vod - I'll sort something out.
这事就这么定了
Cos that's the sort of thing that happens.
我们开个派对吧
"Oh, let's have a party.
我的派对上应该放什么音乐
"What sort of records will I play at my party?
大家应该把衣服放在哪呢
"Where will all the people put their coats?
还是我把所有衣服都放在一个大袋子里
"Or should I just put all the coats in a big bag?"
行行好吧 维多 你醒醒吧
Wake up, Vod, fuck's sake. Huh?
另一个毕业舞会 好好想想吧
Alternative Grad Ball. Think about it.
我已经写完第一稿了
So... I have a first draft.
我的简历
My CV.
精编霍华德·马基高的一生
The life and times of Howard Redacted MacGregor.
你能注意到的第一件事就是它完美的格式
The first thing you'll notice is the impeccable formatting.
不和谐的混合字体 一下就能抓住你的眼球
And then almost immediately your eye will be drawn to a jarring blend
混合的字体有 主体是阿米尔中等体
blend of fonts - Avenir Medium for the body
标题是富兰克林哥特式加粗体
and Franklin Gothic Bold for the headers.
这是一种细微的差别 这会让你往别的地方看
A kind of niggling disparity which wills you to look away but
但是你不能往别的地方看
of course, you cannot.
- 脚背 - 献血小组
- Instep? - Blood group?
- 醉酒引起的牙病史 - 我能看一眼吗
- Potted dental history? - Oh - can I see that?
兴趣爱好 不适用
Hobbies and interests, N/A?
不适用
Not applicable.
我都不知道你的前臼齿是这样的
I did not know that about your premolars.
霍华德 你得有兴趣爱好 随便写点什么
You need interests, Howard. Just put anything.
我可以写古老的日本色情小说
I could put vintage Japanese erotica.
这个别往里写
Yeah, don't put that.
你的牙听起来都怪怪的
Even your teeth make you sound weird.
霍华德 随便写点什么吧 撒个谎
Just make something up, Howard. Lie.
我要出发 去李·德尔
Well... I'm off to "Lee Dull"...?
你指的是来德尔吧
Lie-Dull?
有免费食物的糟糕的地方
The horrible place with the free food.
乔西 我有点困惑
Josie... I'm a bit confused,
你觉得我们能稍微聊一下我们的协定吗
Do you think maybe we could have a little chat about our trade agreement?
关于时不时偶尔在你的港湾歇息一下
Re. er, docking at Smuggler's Cove.
这可能是我最不喜欢的阴♥道♥的委婉说法
Probably my least favourite vagina euphemism.
就是想澄清一下
So, just to clarify -
我是不是能继续
erm, I am... still free to, er,
拿着我的香蕉去我感兴趣的地方交易
trade my bananas with other interested regions?
JP 你不能这样
No, JP.
因为我太爱你了
Because I'm so in love with you.
乔西爱上JP了
"Oh, Josie loves JP!
她可能要个JP一个情人节贺卡
"Maybe she should get him a Valentine's card!"
简单地说 你死了我也不会那么伤心
Basically, I wouldn't be that upset if you died -
我是想说 我会伤心的 不过我很快就会好的
I mean, I'd be sad, but I'd rally pretty bloody quickly.
我们应该把整件事都忘了
So... yeah, maybe we should just forget the whole thing.
当然 如果这就是你想要的
Oh. Fine, yeah, I mean... you know. If that's what you want?
这样你就不用担心你蛋蛋深入的时候我插嘴了
Well, that way you don't have to worry about me barging in on you when you're balls-deep.
- 你真想知道这是怎么回事吗 - 是的
- Do you really want to know what this is? - Yes.
这是个不要钱的约炮集♥会♥
It's a fuck-fest free-for-all,
我们刚好是两个饥渴的人
and we're just two horny atoms
不小心撞到了一起 明白了吗
who keep... accidentally smashing into each other. Capiche?
明白了
Yeah. Capiche.
很高兴我们讲清楚了
I'm really glad we cleared that up.
很好 我现在要出发了 打羽毛球去
Good. Now I'm cocking off. For now - we badminton!
羽毛球酒干一个
Shuttlecock shot!
我们再来十五个签名 然后就可以去弹劾了
We only need 15 more and then we can move for impeachment.
这是弹劾书 把欧西亚·肖克罗斯踢出办公室
It's a petition. To have Oregon Shawcross kicked out of office.
对不起 我不能签这个
Yeah, sorry. I can't sign this.
她实际上是我的一个朋友
Erm, she's actually a friend of mine.
她是要彻底毁灭学生会
She's running this union into the ground.
削减资源 天知道她给自己的项目拨了多少款
Slashing resources and jizzing away God-knows-how much on her thing.
那你最好走吧
Think you better go.
戴尔
Dale?
朋友们 你们认真的吗 你们想让我走
Guys... Seriously? You want me to go?
我是跳跳乔西 羽毛球社的死忠粉
I'm Jumping Josie Jones. The mad slag of Bad-Soc.
我就是觉得 你待在这里应该有点不舒服
I just don't think that you'd be particularly comfortable,
我们脑子里都有这么激进的想法
with the kind of activism WE'VE got in mind.
什么想法
Like what?
我们要在楼前的广场把欧西亚的肖像烧了
We are going to burn an effigy of Oregon in the quad.
好吧
Wow. OK, yeah. Erm...
我就是想先说句话 这句话不是我说的
first off can I just say, and this didn't come from me...
烧掉女巫 烧掉女巫
Burn the witch, burn the witch, burn the witch!
我显然是在开玩笑 她是个很好的朋友 不过
Erm... I'm just joking obviously, she is a really great friend but...
你能给我们提供任何信息
Y'know, any information you could give us...
我们都会很感激你的
would be really appreciated.
我一直在思考举办另一场毕业舞会
So, I've been thinking about this Alternative Grad Ball.
我觉得这能让我之前的简历看起来好看一点
I think it could look pretty good on the old CV.
6Music 英国广播公♥司♥一档电台音乐节目
再厚脸皮一点 学学6Music那帮人
Plus, bit of a cheeky middle digit up to those goons at 6Music.
作为顾客 我的第一个问题是 无聊吗
My first question as a punter is, will it be boring?
怎么会无聊呢
Why would it be boring?
你快帮帮我
I do need your help.
我给你六十秒 然后我就要看书了
You've got 60 seconds then I must get back to the books.
主题是什么
Right. Theme?
威尼斯狂欢节
Oh, erm, Carnevale di Venezia.
威尼斯狂欢节 那就是面具舞会
So, Carnival of Venice. A masked ball.
狂欢
So an orgy?
迷幻舞会 一种大型迪斯科舞会
不是狂欢 迷幻舞会那种
Not an orgy.
更像谷仓派对 但是是在一个方形的帐篷里
Like a warehouse party, but in a marquee?
就是一个意式风格的房♥子
Italian Hard House.
你知道的 就像一场狂欢 有各式各样的奶酪
You know, like a rave but, erm, sort of with cheese?
一个大帐篷里时尚的假面狂欢 有很多奶酪
A classy masked rave in a large tent, with loads of cheese?
好吧 我们来谈谈厕所的问题
Right, let's talk toilets.
以十个女性为单位
One unit per ten females, er,
你要为这些人准备槽式便池
trough-style urinals for the blokes.
去和场地所属的农民聊聊 他就会
Speak to the farmer whose field it is, he'll, er,
让你在他的贮窖里方便
let you dump your turds in his silo
这样你就能节省用水量
and that way you'll save on pumpage.
- 继续 - 恩...
- Next? - Um...
所以 在奶酪种类方面
So, erm, yeah, er, so in terms of types of cheese,
我觉得 哥瑞纳·帕达诺和
I was thinking, erm, Grana Padano
佩科里诺·罗马诺奶酪不错
and Pecorino Romano?
老兄 你只剩十五秒了
Dude, you've got 15 seconds left
你就只想问我关于奶酪的事吗
and you want to ask me about cheese?
- 额...当然不是 - 停车场怎么办
- Erm... no? - What about car-parking?
还有车票 手环 保安
Ticketing, wrist-bands, security,
保险 帆索具 灯光 领班这些问题
insurance, rigging, lighting, gaffers?
舞台租用 场务 手压模 好了时间到
Stage-hire, roadies, hand-stampers, and that's time.