新生六居客（2011）

Fresh Meat S04E03

Part 5 Jan. 4, 2021, 3:23 p.m.

没钱包也没法用GPS
no money, no access to GPS,
唯一可以给我指路的是一个古董指南针
and my only piece of navigational equipment is the old fashioned compass.
我想也许你可以帮我
I was wondering if you might be able to help me.
继续说
Go on.
噢
Oh...
不好意思我改变主意了
Sorry, I changed my mind.
我想要我的面试结果反馈报告
I want my feedback.
当时我不想知道我哪里不好
At the time, I didn't wanna know my faults,
但是现在我想知道了
but now I do.
我已经知道我其中的一个弱点了
I mean, I already know one
就是不想知道自己的短处嘛
of my faults was not wanting to know my faults.
不管怎么样现在我准备好了
But... I'm ready now.
你也参加面试了
You were at the workshop?
- 对 -哦不好意思
- That's right. - Yeah, I'm sorry,
我们把没人要的报告都扔了
I think we put all the unwanted feedback in the bin.
- 噢 - 你叫什么名字来着
- Oh. - What was your name again?
呃金斯利·欧文你有没有可能
Er, Kingsley Owen. Could you just maybe...
就告诉我一下我哪里做的不好
maybe just tell me what it was
这样我下次可以改进
so I can be better next time?
喔金斯利
Right, Kingsley.
要怎么说你好呢
Yeah, what did we say about you?
呃
Er...
噢好像呃
Ooh, was it, maybe, um...
我的一些观点还不成熟吗
Some of my opinions were half-baked?
- 呃 - 你觉得我太自命不凡了
- Er... - Did you find me pretentious?
或者烦人有的时候我会有点讨人厌
Or annoying? My personality can be grating?
- 其实 - 我太盲目自信了吗
- Well... - I'm inauthentic, maybe?
我很无趣呃不不不
I'm boring? Um... Oh, no, wait.
我太虚伪总是故意讨好别人
Um, I'm a people-pleaser.
我优柔寡断
I'm indecisive?
不好意思你是昨天来的还是今天
Sorry, were you in today or yesterday?
今天我是我是今天这一批的
Well, today. It was... It was... It was today.
噢因为我们一整周都在面试
Right, it's just we've been
我记不太清了不好意思
running these workshops all week, I'm ever so sorry.
额
Um...
我是那种听够了杰克的歌♥
I'm the guy who listens to I'm ready by Royal Trux
皇家卡车乐队"我准备好了"这种音乐的人
when he gets fucked up on Jack,
- 不过 - 哦对
- but then... - Right, yes!
现在我想起来了
Now I remember, yeah.
我还问你你喜欢什么样的音乐呢
Yeah, I asked what music you liked and...
只不过你说了半个小时
you were talking for about half an hour
我都没明白你的回答是什么
and I couldn't really work out what your answer was.
就好像是哦我才不在乎什么类型
It was all, like, "Oh, I don't really believe in genres."
你也知道我就是想问你
But, you know, all I wanted to know was...
你到底喜不喜欢U2
D'you like U2 or do you not?
不好意思我没搞明白你在问什么
I'm sorry, I don't really understand the question.
削减高尔夫削减击剑
Cut golf, cut fencing,
去他妈的花式足球好吗
cut fucking Juggle Soc, OK,
奈斯我才不在乎呢
Nas, I don't care.
照做就行了
Just do it.
你知道那玩意儿发出的辐射
You know the radio waves from
会全部被你的脑子吸收吧
that thing are being absorbed by your brain?
没事我不在乎
It's OK, I don't mind.
那是...
Is that...?
- 你在写诗啊 - 对
- Are you doing your poetry? - Yeah.
在沙子上写的
You can write better poems
总是比写在书上的好太多了
in the sand than in any of your fucking books.
我起码在沙上写了一千多首诗
I've written over 1,000 poems in the sand.
还写过一个剧本
I've written a whole screenplay in the sand.
- 不错啊 - 写完了以后
- Awesome. - And once they're finished...
也不会有人去读
no-one will ever read them.
对啊但是这是好事吧
Right, and that's good,is it?
嗯那我们开始吧
Right, so, are we ready to begin
好
Yes.
英国著名歌♥手演唱过007系列电影金手指的主题曲
正如雪莉·贝西的那张名为粉色的专辑
In the words of Shirley Bassey, Pink
X 因素音乐选秀节目
和X因素里威尔士人的骄傲
and Welsh hero
瑞迪安·劳勃兹所说
Rhydian Roberts from The X Factor,
- 让我们开始狂欢吧 - 等等
- let's get this party started. - Wait.
喝嗨之前得先扫除障碍
Before you drink, you must cleanse the space.
要说真心话
Speak your truth.
如果不的话今晚可就不好过了
If you don't, you can have a very, very bad trip.
有一次我在幻觉中
I once hallucinated 1,000
感到有一千个赫特族人从我的眼窝里爬出来
Jabba the Hutts crawling out of my eye sockets
电影星球大战中的一只怪兽
射在我的胸上
and ejaculating onto my breasts.
吖
Yeah?
所以啊不像像我一样的话
So, unless you want that,
就把你们所有的怨恨和秘密
get any little grudges, any secrets,
都说出来
out in the open.
反正你们喝了这个之后
Cos once you drink this stuff,
不想说也会全部都说出来
it is all coming out, one way or another.
准备好了就摇一下这个铃铛
Ring this bell when you're ready.
我会来见证你们的蜕变
I'll come and pour the eraldaketa.
对
Yeah.
嗯
Mm-hm.
嗯好的谢谢
Mm-hm. Yes, thank you.
霍华德
Howard...
可以只用
Anyone who can find their way to HQ
经纬度
using nothing more than latitudinal coordinates
和指南针就找到我们公♥司♥的人
and an old-fashioned compass
就是我们
might be just the kind of
地形测量局要找的人才
candidate we're looking for here at Ordnance Survey.
特别是像你这样穿着特有品味的人
And especially one with such great taste in knitwear.
现在你见到我了
Well, now you've got me,
有什么要问的吗
are there any questions you'd like to ask me?
呃
Well...
其实
actually,
我想问你借二十九磅现金
I wanted to ask if you could see your way to lend me 29 in cash?
你想要什么
You what?
二十九块是伦敦到曼彻斯特高峰时候的路费
That is the peak-time fare from London to Manchester,
除非我去找我朋友借
without which, unless I manage to meet up with my friends,
不然我回不了家了
I won't be able to make it home.
当然我会还你的
I would, of course, repay you.
可能
Perhaps...
下次我和你面试的时候还你吧
at my interview.
我承认我是应该去查一下
And, yes, I should have checked
谋杀球是什么东西
what murderball was,
但是我最近有点忙
but I've been really busy
又要忙富布莱特奖学金的事
with Fulbright
要写论文
and my dissertation
还要肖克罗斯奖
and the Shawcross.
我懂得了一个道理
And what have I learned?
我不能信任我的手下
That I can't trust my staff.
而且我感到很郁闷
And I guess I'm also feeling really bad
因为我没有读到一首好诗
because I haven't read any good poems
我要发一首好诗给珍妮特·温特森
and I need to find one to send to Jeanette Winterson.
等我们这里结束了我就去做这件事
But I'll get round to it after we've finished this.
我说完了
Er, OK, I think I'm done.
乔波
Jobbo?
你呢
You got something?
我呢
OK, so, um...
我本来想找个好时机告诉你们这件事的
I was hoping to find a better time to talk about this,
但是我觉得我现在必须要说出来
but I think I need to say it
因为我不想被幻觉吓到
now because I'm quite afraid of having a bad trip.
其实也不是什么大事
Yeah, no big deal,
就是我昨天早上醒来的时候
but I... woke up yesterday morning
我发现我和JP上♥床♥了
and it turns out that I had had sex with JP.
又上♥床♥了
Again.
你啊真是的
You...
其实我们