大男孩（2022）

触发警告：本集内容涉及我过去的一段经历
Trigger warning - this ep does pertain to a period of my past.
从那以后 我个人一直对此深感懊悔
I have since expressed immense personal regret.
也就是我曾尝试成为诗人的那段时间
Otherwise known as the time I tried to be a poet.
#我是MC 大家叫我乌菲
♪ MC am I people call me Uff
#当我点燃派对气氛你会兴奋不已
♪ When I rock the party you bust a nut
#费兹正在打破节奏
♪ Feadz is breaking out the beat
#这比我还火爆秀逗
♪ Shit be hotter than me
#我和他 我们的团队如军队般牢固
♪ Me and he our crew's a militia
#最好小心点 我的帮派会…
♪ Better watch out my clan gets... ♪
MUSIC: Perfect 10 By The Beautiful South
有时候我的歌♥曲会突然中断
Sometimes my songs would cut out
因为我愚蠢地把我的spotify和我妈妈的亚马逊Alexa设备绑定了
because I'd stupidly linked my Spotify to my mum's Amazon Alexa.
Alexa 把音量调高三度
Alexa, turn the volume up by three.
谢谢 亲爱的
Thanks, hon.
她总是会放一首 我知道会让她想起爸爸的歌♥
She'd always be asking for a song I knew reminded her of dad,
所以我会让她控制我的Spotify
so I'd let her hijack my Spotify
让她借此怀念他 因为我心地善良
to remember him, cos I'm nice
而且我太穷了 付不起高级家庭共享账户的会员费
and I was too tight to pay for a premium family account.
哦 Jack!
Oh, Jack!
我很高兴和你一起开始新的一天
I'm so excited to start my day with you.
哦 是吗？
Aw, are you?
不 当然不是 你为什么戴着贝雷帽？
No, of course not. Why are you wearing a beret?
我只是想尝试点新东西
I'm just tryin' somethin' out.
Meow Meow：一种街头药物 PureGym：连续运动俱乐部
你就不能像其他同龄的孩子一样 试试喵喵或者PureGym吗？
Can't you try meow meow or PureGym, like the rest of the kids your age?
Meow Meow：一种街头药物 PureGym：连续运动俱乐部
好吧 我只是在探寻自我
Well, I'm figuring out who I am.
哦 我明白了 毕业焦虑症犯了 是吗？
Oh, I see. Final year panic, is it?
残酷的大世界在等着你 突然之间你意识到
The big bad world awaits and suddenly you realise
你需要有个“特长”才能引人注意 才能找到工作
you need "a thing" to be noticeable, to be employable.
但不幸的是 Jack…
But sadly, Jack...
在你追求个性的过程中 你犯了大忌
..in your quest for individuality you have committed the cardinal sin.
什么? -你变得矫揉造作了
What? You've become pretentious.
不 我没有
No, I haven't.
你手里拿的是什么？
What you holding?
一个环保咖啡杯
A sustainable coffee cup,
一本《纽约客》杂♥志♥
a copy of the New Yorker
还有一本无印良品的新笔记本 用来…
and a new Muji notebook for my...
写我的诗
..poetry.
欢迎大家
Welcome all.
我的名字是Bamboo Armitage
My name is Bamboo Armitage
而你们 喜欢创意写作的伙伴们
and you, creative writing comrades,
选择了这个为期八周的口语课程
have chosen this eight-week spoken-word course
来找到自己的声音 因为你们的声音很重要
to find your voice. Because your voice is important.
虽然不如我的声音重要
Not as important as my voice
但希望它会比前更有重量一点
but hopefully it'll be a bit more important than it was before.
带着这份重要性
And with that importance,
这门课程将以分享我们的声音而告终
this course will culminate in a sharing of our voices,
当我们讲述我们迫切的
as we tell our urgent,
至关重要的 真实的真♥相♥时
vital and our-thentic truths,
这最终…
which ultimately...
这很重要
..it's important.
这就是我第一次迷上长篇诗歌♥的时候
And this was where I first got hooked on big fat lines of poetry.
#扣动格洛克手♥枪♥ 打开格洛克手♥枪♥
♪ The pop the Glock, the Glock you pop
《大男孩》第三季第三集
#扣动格洛克手♥枪♥ 打开格洛克手♥枪♥
♪ The pop the Glock, the Glock you pop
《大男孩》第三季第三集
《大男孩》第三季第三集
#扣动格洛克手♥枪♥ 打开格洛克手♥枪♥
♪ Pop the Glock, the pop the Glock
《大男孩》第三季第三集
#打开格洛克手♥枪♥
♪ The pop the Glock
#你扣动的格洛克手♥枪♥
♪ The Glock you pop. ♪
到底搞什么鬼？
What the actual fuck?
那小子开始把自己当回事了
That boy has started taking himself very seriously.
听着 我见多了这种情况
Look, I've seen this all before.
有天开始写诗 突然间口头禅就变成
Someone, they start writing poems, and all of a sudden it's,
“哦 来听我的脱口秀表演吧 ”
"Oh, come to my spoken word gig."
“哦 来看我的个人演出吧 ”
"Ooh, come to my one-man show."
“哦 求你了 来这个发霉摇摇欲坠的艺术空间吧
"Ooh, please, no, no, come to a mouldy ramshackle arts space
"Ooh, please, no, no, come to a mouldy ramshackle arts space
“在鸟不拉屎的地方 我写了一部关于我死去的父亲的戏剧 ”
"in the arse-end of nowhere, I've made a play about my dead dad."
哦！太可怕了
Oh! It's terrifying.
我是认真的 我们现在就得把这苗头掐灭
I'm serious, right? We need to nip this in the bud now.
哦 别闹了！
Oh, stop it!
我很期待明天看他的演出
I'm excited to see his spoken word showcase tomorrow.
不过有人真的读过他的诗吗？
Although has anyone actually heard any of his poems?
嗯我读过一些 听着 写得还不错 但是
Yeah, I've read some. Look, they're decent, but
我不明白他干嘛要这么装
I don't know why he's got to be such a wanker about it.
为什么他就不能做点很酷的事 比如学打碟
Why can't he do something cool, like learn to DJ.
打碟DJ 可能在别人眼里同样很装逼 Danny
One man's DJ is another man's wanker, Danny.
嘘 他来了
WHISPERS: Sh, he's coming.
伙计们 Tim刚才指责我太矫揉造作了
Guys, Tim's just accused me of becoming pretentious.
耶 我很高兴终于有人跟你说了
Yeah, I'm glad someone's finally told you.
我才没有很做作 -你莫名其妙就变成了诗人
I'm not pretentious. You are a poet, all of a sudden.
没错 而且你都不看《X音素》了
Yeah, and you've stopped watching X Factor.
Louis Walsh：欧洲著名音乐经纪人 Rita Ora：英国90后女歌♥手
Louis Walsh：欧洲著名音乐经纪人 Rita Ora：英国90后女歌♥手
嗯 他们把路易斯换成了丽塔·奥拉
Well, they've replaced Louis with Rita Ora.
什么? ! 呃! !
What?! Urgh!
这个国家已经完蛋了！
This country has gone to pot!
真的!
Honestly!
首先是克拉克森退出《疯狂汽车秀》
Like, first it's Clarkson off Top Gear,
沃尔什离开了《X音素》 我告诉你
Walsh is off X Factor. I'm telling ya,
This Morning：英国电视台长寿访谈节目
This Morning：英国电视台长寿访谈节目
用不了多久菲利普·斯科菲尔德 也会离开《今天早晨》的
Phillip Schofield's going to be off This Morning before we know it.
This Morning：英国电视台长寿访谈节目
Jack 我能跟你单独聊一聊吗？
Jack, can I borrow you, please?
你别让大家都紧张兮兮的行吗？我今天要告诉他们
Can you not stress everyone out? I'm telling them today.
哦 终于啊 你都拖了三个月
Oh, finally. You've had three months,
这些秘密和谎言快把我逼疯了
and the secrets and the lies are killing me.
谢天谢地 我能通过写作真心话来发泄
Thank God I've had writing my truth as an outlet.
嘘
Sh.
我想在你明天的诗歌♥演出之前告诉他们
I want to tell them before your poetry gig tomorrow,
到时候他们会非常沮丧的
when they'll be really depressed.
你怎么敢这么说？听着 告诉他们真♥相♥对我来说是件大事
How dare you? Look, telling them is a big deal for me.
而且 我明天不能来看你的表演 因为…
And also, I can't come to tomorrow because...
嗯说实话 我也不想来 但是…
..well, honestly, I don't want to, but, also...
我星期六就离开
..I leave Saturday.
周六就走 Yemi 搞什么?
Saturday. Yemi, what?
我已经找到住的地方了
I've found somewhere to live.
所以你能不能为我高兴点
So can you please try to be happy for me
我也会尽量支持你投身诗歌♥世界的
and I will try to support your descent into the spoken word.
好
OK.
抱一个
Come on.
怎么了?
What's wrong?
简单来说
Two words.
阿努什卡·德拉方特说我得再去做个怀孕测试！
Anoushka Delafonte says I need to take a pregnancy test - again!
呸！呃！
Ffff! Urgh!
我就知道我万圣节的时候看起来过于性感了
I knew I looked too sexy at Halloween.
我真的出了门
I have literally gone out
买♥♥了三瓶薄荷百利甜酒准备过圣诞
and bought three bottles of Mint Baileys for Crimbo.
我现在一滴也不能喝了 这简直是闹剧
I can't drink a drop now. It's an absolute farce.
-冷静点 -不 我本来要
Stay calm. No, I am supposed to be launching
推出珊和南派对策划有限公♥司♥
ShanAndNanlgans Party Planners L-T-D Incorporated
在2016年第二季度 Peggy
in Q2 of 2K16, Peggy.
我觉得带一个孩子
I've kind of found it hard enough
就已经够难了 -我知道亲爱的 但你已经做得很好
with one baby. I know doll, but you've done so well.
哦 该死！该死！
Oh, fuck! Fuck!
我昨天真的去了慈善商店
I literally went to the charity shop yesterday,
把我所有的婴儿装和孕妇装都送人了
I've given away all my baby and maternity clothes.
那可是400英镑打水漂了
That's 400 quid down the drain.
我甚至就不是个爱做慈善的人 Peggy 你知道吗？
I'm not even a charitable person, Peggy. Do you know?
我只是需要空间放我的天鹅绒矮凳
I just needed space for my crushed velvet ottoman.
哦 让我看看？
Ooh, let's see?
邓洛普？邓洛普
Dunelm? Dunelm.
哦 Tariq会疯掉的