欢迎来到威利茨（2016）

剃须刀 搅拌机
Electric shavers, blenders
烤箱 吸尘器
toasters, vacuum cleaners
立体声音响 电动工具
stereo, power tools
一切尽在离你咫尺之遥的
even being available at Macy's, Gimble's, Two Guys
M&G两个坏小子五金店
and any participating hardware store near you.
这就是绕金星飞行的宇宙飞船
That's the space vehicle which orbited Venus
被美国国家航♥空♥和宇宙航行局故意摧毁
and then pur -- was purposefully destroyed by NASA
因为科学家发现这艘宇宙飞船
when scientists discovered it was carrying
携带一种神秘的高♥强♥度辐射
a mysterious high-level radiation.
你又偷偷吸麦斯了 哼?
You been sneaking that meth again, huh?
- 哇 哇 哇 哇! - 不 不 不是我
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - No, no, not me, man.
住手 不值得这样
Stop, it's not worth it.
你♥他♥妈♥这是干什么?
Why the hell did you do that?
因为你不让我毙了他
'Cause you wouldn't let me shoot him.
暴♥政♥的黑夜已经降临
A dark night of tyranny has descended on..
佩吉?
Peggy?
佩吉?
Peggy?
不
No.
我想回家
I wanna go home.
我不是坏人
I'm not a bad guy.
我不是坏人
I'm not a bad guy.
求你了
Please.
你们到底想从我这知道什么?
The fuck do you want from me?
啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey, hey, hey.
嘿
HEY-
这是哪? 是哪? 是哪?
Where? Where? Where?
我们正在给车加油 宝贝
We're just fuelin' up, hon.
要酒还是要烟 甜心?
Dip or smokes, sugar?
-哦 都要 -好的
- Uh, both. - Okay.
六罐装啤酒 嗯
A sixer too, uh
就是那种...那种小桶装的东西
and one -- one of them little, keg things.
好的 你等一会
Oh, hold on.
- 我昏过去多久了? - 噢 只有几个小时
- How long was I gone? - Oh, only a couple hours?
好的
Okay-
嘿 我要进城去
Hey, I'm gonna, uh, run inside
去买♥♥一两样东西
and -- and grab a couple of things.
嘿 亲爱的 你能帮我们
Hey, sweetie, would you mind braggin'
顺便买♥♥些烟
grabbin' some, some smokes
帮布罗克买♥♥些酒吗?
and -- and some booze for Brock?
便宜的就行 他不挑剔
Whatever's cheapest. He ain't picky.
不要 不要进口的
Nothin' -- nothin' imported.
好的 没问题
Okay, sure.
你还好吗 宝贝
You okay, sweetie?
噢 上帝 佩吉
Oh, geez, Peg-
我来替你接上插头吧
I'm gonna plug this in for ya.
- 快没电了 - 谢谢 宝贝
- It's dyin'. - Thanks, hon.
不明白你为什么要带手♥机♥
I don't know why you have it.
你就从来没给它充过电
You never charge it a day in your life.
所以我才有你啊
Well, that's why I have you.
你们去找自己想要的
You guys get what you need
我要去准备最后一刻的补给
I'm gonna gather some last-minute provisions.
噢 补给?
Oh, provisions?
是的 队长
Affirmative, captain.
我们尽快采购补给
We shall procure rations ASAP
以免后面一团糟
as to avoid future SNAFU.
你真是个变♥态♥ 哥们
You're a fucking douchebag, dude.
哈 是的
Huh, yeah.
我是要确保我们库存充足
I'm just making sure we're stocked.
没必要毁了本次快乐旅程
No need to ruin a good trip.
噢 我会把这根拐杖
Oh, and I just want to pull that stick
塞进你的屁屁里
out of your ass.
嘿 嗯 靴子不错
Hi, uh, n -- nice boots.
嗯哼
Uh-huh.
谢了
Thanks.
刀也不错
Nice blade.
史密斯&韦森?
Smith & Wesson?
好眼力 小姐
Good eye, miss.
- 考特尼 - 考特尼
- Courtney. - Courtney.
我 嗯 其实更喜欢卡秀
I, uh, I actually prefer anything Kershaw makes.
感觉史密斯&韦森适合
I feel like, um, S&W oughta just
紧贴侧臂 对吧?
stick to sidearms, ya know?
噢 嗯 也许耶利米·琼斯没有
Oh, okay, well, maybe Jeremiah Jones doesn't bring
把他最好的刀带来这样的无名小镇
his best steel out in a Podunk town like this.
或许我就是来自这样的无名小镇
Maybe I'm from this Podunk town
也不需要一个游客来告诉我
and I don't need a tourist telling me
他觉得什么该带来什么该带出
what he sees fit to bring in and out.
哇
Wow.
说真的 刚好
Well, it just so happens
我就是来自北边几英里的地方
that I'm from a few miles up north.
所以也算是这个无名小镇的权威了吧
So, that makes me an authority on Podunkery.
无名小镇 嗯 你肯定是来自
Podunkery, yeah, you must be from somewhere
附近什么大气的地方吧
around here, handsome.
大气?
Handsome?
你从来没有离开过这个地方?
So you've never left this area?
- 是的 从来没有 - 不
- No, not at all. - No.
不 其实 嗯 我 嗯 我正在上学
No, actually, um, I, uh, I was just at school.
我刚回来
I just came back.
我会跟家人待在一起
I'm gonna be staying with family
直到一切安顿好
until I get all settled.
噢 耶利米·琼斯承认错了
Oh, Jeremiah Jones stands corrected.
耶利米·琼斯一直用第三人称
Does Jeremiah Jones actually refer to himself
来代指他自己吗?
in the third person all the time?
不 不
No. No.
不 但我...我刚才有点 嗯
No, but what I -- what I do do is tend to, uh
一见到漂亮女孩
get a bit goofy and become an idiot
就有点愚笨像是个傻瓜
when I meet a pretty girl.
其实 嗯
Actually, um
如果你想见识真的白♥痴♥傻瓜
if you wanna see some real foolish idiots
那你该到我打工的酒吧来
you should, uh, come down to the bar. Where I work.
或许 星期一?
On Monday, maybe?
我第一次轮班
It's my first shift back.
到时再跟你慢慢聊
I could give you a long pour
然后你可以对付那些人♥渣♥
and you could fight off the scumbags.
- 你到那边去 - 什么?
- Just go over there. - What?
朝那边走
Just go that way.
我不想让你惹麻烦
I don't want you to get in trouble.
去吧
Go.
- 克劳斯 - 什么?
- Klaus. - What?
要让我说 大脚野人应该
If you ask me, Sasquatch was responsible
对他们的死负责
for them deaths.
只是说他们失踪了 没说他们死了
Just says they're missing. Doesn't say they're dead.
你听说过有人在森林里失踪
You ever hear of someone goin' missin'
两个月后又露面
in the woods, showin' up two months later
还烤着棉花糖?
roastin' marshmallows?
大脚黑人杀了他们 绝对的
Sasquatch got 'em, for sure.
除非你相信有外星人
Unless you believe in aliens.
我确实一直在看发现频道
Well, I do watch all that Discovery Channel
历史频道什么的 所以目前看来
History Channel stuff, so at this point
我会非常相信这种
I'll pretty much believe any hare-brained
愚蠢的解释 对吧?
explanation, am I right?
- 克劳斯 - 什么?
- Klaus. - What?
对不起 我想说的是 嗯
Sorry, what I mean to say is, uh
真的很高兴听你这么说
it's really nice to hear it
比较合理的一手资源 嗯?
from a legitimate, first-hand source, hm?
你在这丢东西了?
You lose something in there?
没有 我只是查一下商标
No, I was just checking out the brand.
嗯 包包不错
Um...cool bag.
有没有听说过Karma?
Ever hear of karma?
没有 嗯
No, um