蠢特夫妇（2025）

Ouch!
你们没事吧？
Are you okay?
你们这些狡猾的小鬼！
You little sneaks!
我得把门锁上
I gotta lock the door.
不好意思啊 是我不好
Sorry about that. That's on me.
冒失的伯尔又来了
Here I go again, bumbling Burl.
嘿 小姑娘
Hey, little girl. Little girl?
你很厉害
Mm, you're good.
真的厉害
You're very good.
你先用偷♥拍♥害我们坐牢
You tricked us with your hidden camera. Got us locked up.
又偷走我们偷来的麻瓜·旺普一家
Then stole our stolen Muggle-Wumps.
然后又用假门骗我们
Then you tricked us with that pretend door.
你简直是个蠢特预备役
You are a Twit in the making, is what you are.
真的吗？
Really?
当然 这也是为什么 我们有个特别的提议要给你
Yeah, which is why we have a very special offer for you.
绝对诚信 不耍花招
It's on the up and up. No tricks.
我们在往后退 看到没？
We're backing away. See?
别指望他们说的是真的
Don't even think about trusting them.
放心 我有分寸
I won't. I got this.
我没事
I'm fine.
那特别提议是什么？
So, what's this special offer? Hmm?
我们想要“另养”你
We would like to adapt you.
要…“另养”我？
To "adapt" me?
对啊 你懂的 让你变成我们亲亲宝贝女儿
Yeah, you know, make you our very own precious little baby daughter child.
你只要把麻瓜·旺普一家还给我们
All you gotta do is give us back the Muggle-Wumps.
我们就能重新开园 成为幸福的一家人 共享天伦
Then we can open up our fun park, become a happy family, the whole deal.
Huh?
嗯…
Yeah…
算了
No.
一个像你这样的孩子 应该感激有人愿意要你
Hey, a kid like you ought to be glad someone wants you,
毕竟你就像盘发霉的剩饭一样 被扔在这里
after being dumped here like a plate of moldy leftovers.
我不是被扔在这的 我爸妈会回来找我的
I wasn't dumped here. My parents are coming back for me.
她居然以为爸妈会回来！
She thinks they're coming back!
这是我这么多年听过最好笑的笑话！
That's the funniest thing I've heard in ages!
你听着 小鬼 我被我那 不负责任的爸妈扔在了马戏团
Thing is, kid, I was abandoned at the circus by my deadbeat parents.
我爸妈把我丢在了保龄球馆
And mine abandoned me at a bowling alley.
所以你看 其实你和我们一模一样
So you see, you really is just like us.
只是更小更笨些
Only smaller and less intelligent.
我绝不会变得像你们那样
I will never be like you. -Oh…
我绝不会交出麻瓜·旺普一家 而且这家孤儿院是特里佩罗的
I am never giving up the Muggle-Wumps, and this orphanage is owned by Triperot.
所以 除非你是那个臭烘烘的市长
So unless you're the stinking mayor,
不然我劝你离我们远点！
I suggest you keep out!
隆重介绍
Here she is, the greatest dancer in the history of Loompaland,
隆帕兰史上最伟大舞者
曼迪·麻瓜·旺普！
Mandy Muggle-Wump!
我们的第一个自♥由♥之夜
Our first night of freedom.
我开心得都要“噗咻”了 我都能…
I am so snozzing happy, I could just…
Wa-hoo!
好！
Yes!
怎么回事？
The heck?
人类不会发光吗？
Oh, do humans not glow?
当然啦 被逼用眼泪发电时
I mean, obviously you don't when your tears are being harvested
肯定不发光 这不用说
to power an amusement park because, like, duh.
但平时会发光对吧？
But otherwise, you glow, right?
我应该不会发光
I don't think I glow.
真是活到老学到老
Huh. Well, learn something new every day.
妈妈！
Mama!
Whee!
加油 哈罗德！
Go, Harold! Go, Harold!
别被蠢特夫妇影响心神
Don't let the Twits get into your head.
你把我们救出了笼子 比莎
You got us out of that cage, Beesha.
我们赢了
We won.
对！
Yeah!
比莎！我们自♥由♥了！
Beesha! We're free!
来吧 和我一起跳舞！我们自♥由♥了！
Come on, dance with me!
We're free!
当孩子们和麻瓜·旺普一家欢庆时
While the children and the Muggle-Wumps celebrated,
蠢特夫妇却在密谋
the Twits schemed,
新一轮的恶作剧 而这将在接下来的几天里
cooking up a trick that, in the coming days,
给特里佩罗市以及我们的主角们
would have truly explosive consequences
带来真正爆♥炸♥性的后果
for the city of Triperot and for our heroes.
批评我的人说我打击犯罪不力
My detractors say I'm soft on crime. -Ooh!
说我搞垮经济
They say I tanked the economy.
但本次选举我根本没对手
Well, I say I'm running unopposed.
所以投票选市长时
So when you vote for mayor,
请记住 投票给约翰·约翰 就是投票给欢欢乐乐
just remember, a vote for John-John is a vote for fun-fun.
玛丽！快过来！赶紧的！
Mary! Get in here right now!
Please hurry!
快看 他们可以通过窗户 看到一个世界
Look, they've got this window that looks into a world
里面有个小小人 接过另一个人给他的棍子
where a little tiny man gets handed a stick by another man
然后去打一个白球
who whacks this white circle.
然后所有住在 这个小世界里的小人们都鼓掌
And all these tiny people who live in this little world, they clap.
嘿 打得好 伙计！
Hey, good hit, buddy!
那是一种高尔夫的运动
That's a game called golf.
对 这叫电视 麻先生
Yeah, and this is a TV, Mr. M.
你可以换频道 看各种节目
You can change channels and watch all kinds of stuff.
欢迎收看特里佩罗市长竞选辩论
Ooh! -Welcome to the Triperot mayoral debate.
我是贝弗莉·洋葱
I'm Beverly Onion.
除了原本无竞争对手的 韦恩·约翰·约翰·约翰市长
In addition to previously unopposed Mayor Wayne John John-John,
还有两位最后一刻参选的候选人
we have two last-minute additions to the race.
克雷登扎·蠢特太太 和吉姆·蠢特先生
Mrs. Credenza Twit and Mr. Jim Twit. -Ah!
经济…犯罪…
The economy, crime…
蠢特夫妇要竞选市长？
The Twits are running for mayor?
天哪 这对谁都不是好事
Oh boy, that doesn't seem like it's good for anybody.
Whee!
怎么回事？ -我爸一紧张就会呕出压力球
What the heck? -My daddy barfs up stress balls sometimes.
好
Okay.
科学术语是“咕噜哇出弗洛波”
I mean, the scientific term is to glorvin up a florbnorble.
我一有点焦虑就会这样
It's something that happens when I… …get a little anxious.
别担心 麻先生
Don't worry, Mr. M.
大人再蠢也不至于选蠢特吧
Grown-ups are dumb, but not dumb enough to vote for a Twit.
感谢大家来参加我的选举便便论
Thanks for coming to my rebate.
我得去上厕所 马上回来 小巴
I gotta run to the bathroom. I'll be back in a sec, Bub.
我要当特里佩罗之王
I'll be the king of Triperot.
所以我先说话 你们负责听
So I'm gonna speak first, and you're gonna be last to listen.
蠢特先生 如果您当选特里佩罗市长会怎么做？
Mr. Twit, what will you do if you become mayor of Triperot?
问得好 让我来展示一下我的“屎作”模型
Glad you asked. Let me show you my diarrhea.
你说什么？
Excuse me?
我做了个“屎作”模型 我想给你们看看
I made a diarrhea, and I wanna show it to you.
大可不必
Please don't.
这是我的“屎作”模型
I have this diarrhea.
是立体模型 -什么？
Diorama. -What?
“这是我的立体模型”
"I have this diorama."
好恶心
That's disgusting,
这种事让自己的屁♥股♥和马桶知道就好
and a secret best kept between you, your bum, and the toilet.
这是蠢特乐园
Now this is a diarrhea
世界第一游乐园的“屎作”模型
of the world's number-one fun park, Twitlandia.
蠢特先生就爱谈论他的“屎作”模型
Mr. Twit just loves to talk about his diarrhea.
但他从来不提
But what he won't talk about
蠢特乐园没有我们的麻瓜·旺普一家 就没法开园
is how Twitlandia can't reopen without our Muggle-Wumps,
而这孩子偷走了它们
which were stole by this child.
等我当上市长 我就把麻瓜·旺普一家夺回来
When I'm mayor, I'll get them Muggle-Wumps back,
把特里佩罗再次变成世界欢乐之都
turn Triperot into the fun capital of the world again,
还让投我票的人个个变亿万富翁！
and make everyone who votes for me a billionaire!
我爱你 蠢特太太
I love you, Mrs. Twit.
我也爱你
I love you also as well.
各位 拜托
People, please.
你们真的相信所谓的麻瓜·旺普一家
Do you really think these so-called Muggle-Wumps
能让特里佩罗 再次成为世界欢乐之都？
can make Triperot the fun capital of the world?
我不信
I don't.
其实要我说
In fact, if you ask me,
唯一略懂欢欢乐乐的候选人
there's only one candidate who knows a thing or two about fun-fun,
就是约翰·约翰
and his name is John-John.
那这位候选人 怎么一口都没吃特里佩罗蛋糕？
Then how come that candidate ain't eaten any of that Triperot cake?