蠢特夫妇（2025）

我先来！
Me first!
给我！
Give it!
这下可好 真行
Oh, nice. Lovely.
很久很久以前
Once upon a time…
有两个特别讨人嫌的蠢货
…there were two terrible twits.
这是一个他们被丢下等死的故事
And this is how they were left for dead.
等等 停！
Wait, wait, wait. Stop!
妈妈
Mum,
你真的要用角色死掉为开头 讲睡前故事吗？
are you actually starting my bedtime story with the characters dying?
我没说他们死了 我说被丢下等死
I didn't say they were dying. I said they were left for dead.
被“随”？ -“谁”
By who? -By whom?
被谁？ -被一群孩子和一家神奇动物
By whom? -Children and a family of magical animals.
哦
Oh.
这是哪门子故事？
What kind of story is this?
你不是总说
You keep telling me
要听情感层次更丰富的睡前故事吗？
you want your bedtime stories to be more emotionally complex
还要求要有“高雅立意搭配低俗笑料” 我是在引用你自己的话哦
with, I'm quoting, "highbrow themes and lowbrow comedy."
没错 我只是不想听 那种无聊普通的故事
True. I just don't want a boring, old, normal story.
那我可以向你保证 孩子 这绝不是一个“普通的故事”
Well, I can assure you, my love, this is no "normal story"
因为蠢特夫妇可不是普通人
because the Twits are not normal people.
对 他们憎恨一切
No, the Twits hate everything,
尤其憎恨彼此
especially each other.
他们结婚已经47年 每一天都活得如坐针毡
They've been married for 47 miserable years.
从没有哪一天 不使出卑劣又肮脏的恶作剧
And not a day has passed without a mean, dirty trick.
不过嘛 就算恨透一切的人 也会有所热爱
The thing is, even people who hate everything love something.
对蠢特夫妇来说 他们的挚爱 是后院游乐园“蠢特乐园”
For the Twits, it was a backyard amusement park called Twitlandia.
他们从零开始建起了“蠢特乐园”
They built Twitlandia from the ground up.
那是唯一能带给他们快乐的东西
It was the one thing that brought them joy.
是他们唯一真正在乎的东西
The one thing they truly cared about.
也是他们唯一想向全世界炫耀的东西
The one thing they wanted the whole world to see.
欢乐与刺♥激♥孕育结晶
取名叫蠢特乐园
这里有歌♥舞狂欢秀
There's a song And dance extravaganza
还有马桶打造的游乐设施
And rides made out of toilets
欢迎来到蠢特乐园！
This is Twitlandia!
全世界独此一家的游乐园
It's the world's only amusement park.
就算并非被全世界注意到
And even if the whole world didn't see it,
但我们故事的真正主角
the true heroes of our story,
孤儿比莎…
an orphan named Beesha…
哇
Wow.
…和她最好的朋友巴布西…
…and her best friend, Bubsy…
哇！
Whoa!
…看到了
…did.
快来参加蠢特乐园的盛大开园仪式
Come to Twitlandia's grand opening this week.
这简直是世界上最… -最棒的地方 对吧！
That looks like the most-- -Amazing place in the world?!
我绝对没打算说“可怕又弱智”
I definitely wasn't gonna say "horrifying and lame."
但比莎你看 它有歌♥舞狂欢秀
But, Beesha, it has a song-and-dance extravaganza
还有用马桶做的游乐设施诶！
and rides made out of toilets!
谁会不想要这两样东西啊？
And who doesn't want both of those things?
好吧 小巴布西 我答应你 在下周你永远离开我之前
All right, Bubsy boy, I promise I'll take you to Twitlandia
我一定带你去蠢特乐园
before you leave me forever next week.
Whoo-hoo!
蠢特乐园！
Twitlandia!
（蠢特乐园 盛大开幕！）
Oh, Jim.
吉姆
Ah!
快看 我们迎来了第一位游客！
Look, it's our first visitor!
但比莎还没来得及兑现 对巴布西的承诺…
But before Beesha could fulfill her promise to Bubsy…
欢迎来到蠢特乐园
Welcome to Twitlandia.
Ahem.
嘿！没付钱不准进！
Hey! You can't go in without paying!
…事实上 连开园都没来得及…
…in fact, before the park even opened…
“已被查‘寸’”？
"Condem-ned"?
…市政♥府♥就查封了蠢特乐园…
…the city shut Twitlandia down…
这是什么？
What's this?
…谴责该建筑存在安全隐患 结构缺陷 还有 其原话是…
…condemning it for being dangerous, structurally unsound, and, quote…
“散发着变质热狗的恶臭”？
"Stinking of rancid hot dog meat"?
吉姆！
Oh, Jim! -Huh?
市政♥府♥…他们要关掉我们的乐园！
The city's… They're shutting down our fun park!
不…
No--
不！
No!
这就像有人夺走了他们的孩子
It was as if their baby had been taken from them.
奇葩的孩子
Strange baby.
奇葩的父母
Strange people.
不过我倒是挺喜欢比莎和巴布西
I do like Beesha and Bubsy quite a bit, though.
没错 这两个孩子 即将与蠢特夫妇正面交锋
Yes, well, Beesha and Bubsy are on a collision course with the Twits,
而后者正准备做出 史上最恶毒的恶作剧
who are about to play their dirtiest trick yet.
这场恶作剧将惩罚整座城市
A prank that will condemn the city
就像城市查封他们的蠢特乐园一样
the way the city condemned Twitlandia.
他们打算怎么干？ 让城市也有变质热狗的恶臭？
What are they gonna do? Make it stink of rotten hot dog meat?
你真聪明
Clever boy. Now, no more questions. Just listen to the song.
好了 不准再问了 听歌♥吧
这是音乐剧吗？
Oh, is this a musical?
当然不是 你当我是蟋蟀吗？
Of course it's not a musical. What am I, a cricket?
就一首歌♥而已 安静
It's one song. Settle down.
巴布西告别视频 第一条
Bubsy goodbye video, take one.
准备…开拍！
And… action!
我们会想念你的 巴布西！
We'll miss you, Bubsy!
再见 巴布西
Bye, Bubsy.
我环顾所有这些人们
I look around at all these people
拥有完美人生的善良好人
Nice people with their perfect lives
其实无聊到骨子里
Well, they're bored Out of their skulls
给约翰·约翰投票
Vote for John-John.
单调乏味又无趣
Monotonous and dull
他们不算活着
They do not live
只是没断气而已
They just survive
我们和旁人不同
Now, we are not like Everyone else
这世上再找不到你我同类
There's nobody here That's like you and me
我们独一无二 而且在心底深处
We're one of a kind And deep down inside
只有我们才是真正的
We're the only ones out here
自♥由♥灵魂
Who are free
准备就绪
I think we're set.
好啦 小巴布西 大日子快到了
All right, Bubsy boy, the big day's coming up.
说说你在特里佩罗孤儿院最爱的回忆
Hit me with your favorite memory from the Triperot Home for Children.
我把土豆塞进鼻孔那次？
Oh! That time I got a potato stuck in my nose?
好吧 -小比 你不记得了吗？
Okay… -Don't you remember, Beesh?
你把我逗到笑喷
You made me laugh so hard that I snorted,
结果土豆从鼻孔飞出来 掉进你牛奶里
and the potato shot out, and it landed in your milk.
害得我现在自愿乳糖不耐受
And now I'm lactose intolerant by choice.
好了 哈罗德
Okay, Harold.
巴布西下周就要被领养了 你想给他留什么纪念？
Bubsy gets adopted next week. How do you want him to remember you?
我…
I…
我留着那颗土豆
I-- I kept the potato.
他留着那颗土豆 真棒
He kept the potato. Cool.
我保证永远带来惊喜
I promise to always surprise you
（查“寸”）
我保证永远有趣好玩
I promise to always be fun
做个彻头彻尾的坏种
To be bad to the bone
你可以昭告天下
And you can tell everyone
不达目的我决不罢休
That I won't stop Until I'm done
我们和旁人不同
We're not like everyone else
这世上再找不到你我同类
There's nobody here Just like you and me
我们独一无二 而且在心底深处
We're one of a kind And deep down inside
只有我们才是真正的
We're the only ones out here
自♥由♥灵魂
Who are free
只有我们才是真正的
We're the only ones out here
自♥由♥灵魂
Who are free
《蠢特夫妇》
好 该我了
Okay, my turn.
所以啊 小巴 我会想念你世界级的舞姿
So, Bubs, I'm gonna miss your world-class dancing,
还有每次你把篮球卡在房♥梁上时
and I'll miss getting your basketball unstuck
我帮你弄下来的日子
when you throw it in the rafters.
我会想念 每晚给你盖被子的时光 还有...
I'll miss tucking you in at night, and, I don't know,
就是看着你长大的时光
just watching you grow up
因为你一直都是个软萌可爱的小肉球