三个臭皮匠（2000）

哦，我不是来采访的，霍华德先生
Oh, this isn't about an interview, Mr. Howard.
我来这里是想看看你的一些旧短片，以便播出
I came to the coast to look at some of your old shorts for broadcast.
哦，好啊，好啊
Oh, yeah, yeah.
我记得你也在放映室，对吧？
I remember you from the screening room, right?
莫，别那么无礼，请他进来好了
Moe, don't be rude. Ask him to come in.
你就是今天和我通电♥话♥的那个年轻人吧？
You're the young man I talked to on the phone today, aren't you?
是的，是的。你好。
Yes, yes. Hi.
等等，你认识这小家伙？
Wait a minute. You know this kid?
是你妻子好心邀请我过来的
Your wife was kind enough to invite me over.
我明白了，有阴谋
I see. A conspiracy.
我是来邀请您光临我们那里做访问的
And I came to ask you to honor us with a visit.
访问？
A visit?
不只是你，是希望整个“臭皮匠”三人组都来波士顿演出
And not just you, the whole Three Stooges to do a show in Boston.
什么？你在说什么？演出？
What-- What are you talking about? Do a show?
现场表演，就像过去的杂耍时代一样
A live appearance, like in the old vaudeville days.
一次复兴
A revival.
哦，一次复兴。明白了，听起来很棒
Oh, a revival. Yeah, that's nice.
孩子，你不仅让我筋疲力尽，还让我家门口的地垫也受不了了
Kid, it's not just me you're wearing out, it's the welcome mat.
莫，也许你应该先听他说完
Moe, maybe you should listen.
三个臭皮匠已经完结了，孩子
The Three Stooges are over, kid.
已经成为古老的历史
Ancient history.
彻底消亡了
They're dead.
你看这水，山普，是不是很美？
Look at the water, Shemp. Isn't it beautiful?
谁知道里面有什么细菌呢？
Who knows what kind of germs they got in there?
嘿，他们说这里一年四季都是这样的天气
Hey, they say the weather is like this all year round.
蓝天白云，温暖如春 -我打赌你一年四季都可以烧烤
Blue skies, warm temperatures. -I bet you can barbeque year round.
还有花♥园♥，我们一直想有个自己的花♥园♥
And garden. Always wanted to have a garden.
所有那些人群、人行道还有空气中的污浊都去哪儿了？
Where's all the people, the sidewalks, the schmutz in the air?
听着，如果他们给我们一份合同，伙计们，我建议我们接受
Now, listen. if they offer us a contract, fellows, I say we take it.
我们就是这样做的，我们一直和希利在一起
We do and we're joined at the hip with Healy forever.
在经济萧条的情况下，山普，工作就是工作
With the Depression on, Shemp, work is work.
而希利就是希利
And Healy is Healy.
也许我们应该买♥♥一栋大房♥子，大家一起住
Maybe we should get one big house and all share it.
别做梦了，姐♥妹♥们♥
Nothing doing, sister.
拉里和我要坐头等舱...
Larry and I are going first class.
...豪华酒店，客房♥服务，应有尽有 -没错，要一间套房♥
A nice hotel, room service, the works. -That's right. A suite.
而你会怎么做？在街角卖♥♥苹果？
What would you do instead? Sell apples on the street corner?
回到布鲁克林的妈妈身边？你连高中都没毕业
Go back to Mama in Brooklyn? You never finished high school.
你也是一样
Neither did you.
拍电影又不需要文凭
You don't need no diploma to be in pictures.
哦，你好啊
Oh, hello, there.
嘿，你往哪儿看呢？
Hey, what are you looking at?
给我转过来
Come here.
嘿宝贝，我只是看看，看看而已
Hey, I'm just looking, baby. Just looking.
我们必须展望未来，伙计们
We got to look to the future, fellows,
即使这意味着必须和希利绑定在一起
even if it means sticking with Healy.
现在有了会说话的电影
Nobody's gonna see vaudeville anymore
没人再会去看杂耍了
now that they got talking pictures.
你想说什么，我们得谈谈？
What are you saying, we got to talk?
你还说我是胆小鬼
And you're calling me a scaredy-cat.
我要吃熏牛肉
I need some pastrami.
加利福尼亚是水果和坚果之乡
California is for fruits and nuts.
你就是个水果
You are a fruit.
我不会让你开车的，你个榆木脑袋
I'm not letting you drive, cement-head.
托卢卡湖里真的有湖吗？
Is there really a lake in Toluca Lake?
我想是的，在那边，也许就在那边
I think so. It's over there. Maybe it's over there.
你的房♥子真漂亮
Nice house you got.
是我们租的
We're renting.
也许等电影拍完，我们就能付得起首♥付♥了
Maybe after the picture's finished, we can afford a down payment.
我和山普也在到处找，但还没找到合适的地方
Shemp and I are looking around, too, but we haven't found the right place yet.
啊，我可不想当什么家庭主妇
Ah, none of this housewife stuff for me.
让别人去做吧
Let someone else do the work.
拉瑞和我都喜欢住大酒店
Larry and me, we like big hotels.
我已经厌倦了把家安在手提箱里的生活
I'm sick of living out of suitcases.
我对莫说，要是能安定下来就好了
I was saying to Moe, it would be nice to settle down.
什么，在这个小镇上？
What, in this burg?
这里有点冷清
It's a little quiet.
但是，孩子们玩得很开心呢
Well, the boys are enjoying themselves.
拉瑞从制片厂回家后非常兴奋
Larry comes home from the studio so excited.
他说，他简直不敢相信站在一旁搞笑...
He says he can't believe he can get paid so much
就能拿到这么高的报酬
for standing around and being funny.
我对山普就不太确定了
I'm not so sure about Shemp.
他每天晚上都会像树叶一样颤抖
He shakes like a leaf every night.
我得紧紧抓住他，防止他从床上掉下来
I got to hold on tight to keep him from falling out of bed.
你知道吗，莫说希利比以前更坏了
You know, Moe says Healy's worse than ever.
让希里见鬼去吧
The hell with Healy.
也许我们都有点乐观过头了
Maybe we're all getting a little ahead of ourselves.
我是说，谁知道会不会成功呢？
I mean, who knows if it's even gonna work out?
开什么玩笑？一定会很棒的
Who are you kidding? It's going to be terrific.
对，会成功的
Yeah, it'll work out.
莫会想办法解决的，他总能找到办法
Moe will find a way. He always does.
为成功干杯
To success.
为成功干杯 -为成功干杯
Success. -Success.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
现在我们在好莱坞神话般的的国家剧院
here we are at the fabulous State Theater in Hollywood
参加20世纪福克斯公♥司♥出品、泰德-希利主演的电影
for the world premiere of 20th Century Fox's
《一应俱全》的全球首映式
《Soup to Nuts》 starring Ted Healy.
现在他来了
And here he comes now.
非常感谢！
Thank you very much.
真是个美妙的夜晚，非常美妙的夜晚
It's a great night. A great night.
我告诉我的丑角们
I told my stooges
他们在好莱坞会过的很开心的
they're gonna get along fine in Hollywood.
在这儿，他们有很多伙伴 -你觉得怎么样？
Out here, they've got lots of company. -So, what'd you think?
这里是滑稽戏中心，这里... -呜呼，真臭
This is Stooge Central, the land where.. . -Boo-hoo. A real stinker.
所有优秀的滑稽戏演员都会来这里
...all good stooges go.
很快，他们就会成为这个城市的主人
Pretty soon, they'll be city supervisors.
好了，宝贝，我们走吧
Okay, baby, here we go.
真棒
That's great.
回头见，伙计们
See you, fellows.
上车吧，亲爱的。小心你的头...好了
Here you go, honey. Mind your head. All right.
好好享受吧 -谢谢
Just relax. -Thank you.
我们走吧
Here we go!
福克斯狂欢之夜，对吧？
Fox bubbly tonight, huh?
这才是有格调的旅行 -没错
This is traveling in style. -You betcha.
霍华德先生，我叫巴迪·希恩，20世纪福克斯公♥司♥的
Mr. Howard, Buddy Sheehan, 20th Century Fox.
你好啊 -我就开门见山吧
How are you? -Let me come to the point.
您和您的小伙子们觉得
How does a seven-year contract with the studio
与制片厂签个七年的合约怎么样？
sound to you and your boys?
关于这个，先生，你最好先跟泰德·希利谈谈
Well, sir, uh, you better talk to Ted Healy first.
这一协议不包括希利先生在内
This arrangement would not include Mr. Healy.
考虑一下吧，这个优♥惠♥条件到明天一早之前都是有效的
Think about it. The offer's good until first thing tomorrow.
哦，兄弟们
Oh, boy.
你现在觉得加利福尼亚怎么样啊，傻蛋？
What do you think of California now, huh, chuckle-head?
我觉得很不错
I think it's swell.
真不错
Just swell.
亲爱的，亲爱的！
Honey. Honey.
如果希恩那家伙认为他能从我的节目里面偷走你们...
If that guy Sheehan thinks he can steal you from my act...
别激动，泰德 -你们和我是有合约的
Take it easy, Ted. -You're under contract to me.
也许我们应该...也许我们现在最好...
Maybe it's time for us to.. . Maybe we'd be better off if we just...
这些资源都是我的，莫，连你也是我的
The material is mine, Moe, and so are you.
如果你敢背叛我，我会让你再也找不到工作
You welch on me now, I'll see to it you never work again.
听明白了吗？
You hear me?
我们走，贝蒂
Come on, Betty.
我们有过协议
We had an agreement.
这样的话，你只需要给我们一次机会，希恩先生
Well, just give us a chance, Mr. Sheehan.
不是的，但你说过这条件的有效期是到...
No, but you said the deal was good until ...
他不会这么做的，这不是...
Well, he can't do that. That's not...
你说过这条件的有效期是到...
You said the deal was good until ...
好吧， 我也很抱歉
Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
希利把他给搞定了
Healy got to him.