替身（2020）

来打我的痛点吧！
Hit me where it hurts.
保证笑死你的15部 黑糖白兰咖主演电影
一、《皮皮辫子妹》
二、《野蛮约会》
三、《游戏结束》
四、《南方女佣》
五、《疯狂单车》
来打我的痛点吧！
Hit me where it hurts.
黑糖片酬创下二千万美元纪录
黑糖白兰咖成为续集天后
八、《高球也疯狂》
九、《修女最疯狂》
来打我的痛点吧！
Hit me where it hurts.
十、《大学玩咖》
十一、《白烂桌球》
票房♥常胜军
十二、《攀岩低手》
十三、《曼蒂的世界》
十四、《跃马嘻哈道》
来打我的痛点吧！
Hit me where it hurts.
我们进度落后 所以要尽快 帮你弄梳化、送你到片场
We're behind, so we really need to get you in hair and makeup and on set as soon as possible.
别忘了还要跟索尼影业的
And remember we have that FaceTime session
续集电影新导演通视讯电♥话♥
with the new director of the Sony franchise.
你1点要跟八卦杂♥志♥进行电♥话♥访问
Plus, you have a phone interview with In Touch Weekly at 1:00.
他们现在在跟灯光替身排练第一景
There's your new first team rehearsal right now, with stand-in.
等一下吃午饭时 要把所有改写部分读剧一遍
And we're gonna do a table read of all the rewrites later at lunch. And don't worry,
别担心 我们会买♥♥ 羽衣甘蓝沙拉 不会买♥♥面包丁
we're gonna get you that kale Caesar, no croutons.
我们得做脸部模型
And we need to do a face cast after that.
我们还要约时间拍沙龙照
Plus, we need to book in some time for a photo shoot.
我会把这件事写在行程上
And I'll put that on your schedule.
还有医生要来看 你上次特殊化妆后起的疹子
There's a doctor coming to check the rash that you got from the prosthetic you wore yesterday
还有帮你打维生素B12
and to give you a B12 shot.
你必须找人跟你读对白 还有多的人手吗？
Do you need somebody to run lines with you in hair and makeup
可是我们必须帮你弄好头发和化妆
Do we have any spare humans But we do need to get you into hair and makeup,
白兰咖小姐 我们现在 真的必须带你去梳化了
Yeah, we really need you to go into hair and makeup right now, Miss Black, like now.
我♥干♥♥你♥妈♥、干♥你♥爸、干♥你♥们全家！
Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!
我他妈干！
Fuck my life!
黑糖白兰咖
好 请等一下
Okay, hold the work please.
我们要跟灯光替身进行第一组排演
We're gonna do our first team rehearsal again with the stand-in.
好 大家预备
All right, everybody set
好 开麦拉
Okay, action.
戒指在我这里
I have the ring right here.
我在奶奶死后从她手指拿下来的
I took it off grandma's finger while she was dying.
其实是快死的时候
Well, almost dying.
我那个贱♥人♥老姐去跑趴 根本不知道戒指在我这里
My bitch sister's at a party.She doesn't even know I have it.
她绝对别想拿到
She's never gonna get her hands on it.
这个绝对打到我的痛点了
That hit me where it hurts.
好 排演结束！
Okay. That's a cut on rehearsal.
好 各位都做得很好 很不错
Okay, guys. That was great. Looks great.
安迪 你可以后退差不多10%吗？
Andy, could you try and take that pull back like 10%,
慢一点 谢谢
little bit slower Thank you.
-芭芭拉 抱歉 -怎样？
- Excuse me, Barbara. - Yeah.
我了解黑糖 她会想在摇椅那边停
I know Candy, and she's gonna want to stop
所以也许能把位置移过去一点
at the arm chair.So, um, maybe we could move the mark over.
好 对耶 谢谢宝拉 我会跟卡麦隆讲
Uh, yeah, yeah. Sure. Thanks Paula. I'll tell camera.
好 谢谢
Oh, great. Thank you.
黑糖来了吗？快一点…
Have we got Candy on deck
第一副导演说黑糖不来了…
Gotta go, gotta go.
天啊！
Oh, my God
你上次那部电影演得很棒
You were great in that last film you did.
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
其实我也是演员
I'm actually an actress myself.
-那很好啊 -不要搞错意思
- That's great. - Don't get me wrong.
我很喜欢当灯光替身
I love being a stand-in.
黑糖和我合作多年
Candy and I have been together for years,
她是其中的佼佼者
and she's the best.
只是我真正想做的是演戏
It's just that my true passion is acting.
你的成功秘诀是什么？ 我这样问请你不要见怪
What's your secret to success If you don't mind me asking.
我很重视保持距离
I guess I believe in boundaries,
跟专业人员保持专业距离
professional boundaries between professionals.
这大概是我的工作哲学
That's probably my whole philosophy.
我想找个演出经纪人
I was just looking for an acting agent,
不知道你…
and I don't suppose...
不行…我得…
Oh. No, I have to...
路易斯
Louis.
路易斯 你♥他♥妈♥拿佣金干什么吃的？
Louis, what actual fuck do you do for your commission
那就叫你的艺人滚出拖车 到片场来
Well, then get your client out of her trailer and onto this set.
你在讲什么？我喜欢黑糖
What are you talking about I love Candy,
但是我还得带领半个剧组执导这部片
but I can't wrangle her while I'm trying to
不能跟她闹翻
direct this picture with half a crew.
路易斯
Louis.
你要我怎么做？
Well, what do you want me to do
要我打给玛莉莎麦卡锡的经纪人吗？
You want me to call Melissa McCarthy's agent
叫她离开拖车就对了
Just get her out of the trailer.
黑糖 我是路易斯！
Candy, its Louis.
大姐 芭芭拉把我骂得很惨
Buddy, Barbara's been giving me a really hard time.
不过管她去死 干
But you know what Fuck her!
导演有做什么事吗？对吧？
Okay What do directors even do Right
他们只会…只会叫演员 做他们早就在做的事
They just... They tell people to do things they were already gonna do
然后说是自己的功劳
and then take credit for it.
所以别为她拍这部片 就算为了我吧
So, don't do this film for her. Do it for me.
为了我们？
For us Huh
因为我相信你可以 来吧 大姐
Because I believe in you.Come on, buddy.
而且你因为那部 在巴贝多拍的电影还欠我钱
Um, you also owe me money for that movie that you did in Barbados
结果你根本就忘了演
that you don't remember making.
怎么样？
So what do you say
不要 你♥他♥妈♥滚开！
No! Fuck off!
至少有个起头了
So, that's a start.
我现在要回片场 让芭芭拉知道进展很顺利
So, I'm gonna head back to set and let Barbara know that this went well.
我相信你马上就会出现了
And I'm confident that I will see you momentarily.
我♥干♥…
Fucking...
想点办法
do something.
黑糖？
Candy.
黑糖 是我 宝拉 你的灯光替身
Candy, it's Paula, your stand-in.
我有话要跟你说
Listen, I have to tell you something.
我刚刚不小心听到芭芭拉说
I just overheard Barbara saying they're going to fire you
他们要开除你 找玛莉莎麦卡锡来演
and hire Melissa McCarthy.
那就祝她成功了
Well, good luck to her.
问题是我跟玛莉莎麦卡锡 长得一点都不像
Well, the thing is, I don't look anything like Melissa McCarthy.
她会带自己的灯光替身 到时我就失业了 所以…
She'll bring her own stand-in,and then I'll be out of a job, so...
请你出来吧
Please come out.
拜托啦
Please
为了我好吗？
For me
好 各位
Okay, everybody
我就别站在茅坑不拉屎了
let's flush this turd down the toilet.
好 快点 开工了！
Okay. Chop, chop. Let's go.
拍戏啦！我们马上开拍
Picture's up. We are going right for a take.
所有人最后检查一次
Everybody, last looks please.
好 快点清场
Okay, come on. Clear the set.
我们早就准备好了 快点
We've been ready.Come on.
第一组请做好准备
We need first team on our marks, please.
好 现在所有人清场
Okay. Everybody off the set now.
场记麻烦请打板
Can we have a slide-in
小薇 我们看得到你 请后退1公尺
Vivian, we can see you.Back off three feet.
请打板 谢谢
Mark it. Thank you.
然后…
And...
开麦拉！
action.
戒指在我这里
I've got the ring right here.
我在奶奶死后从她手指拿下来的
I took it off grandma's finger while she was dying.
其实是快死的时候
Well, almost dying.
我那个贱♥人♥老姐去跑趴 根本不知道戒指在我这里
My bitch sister's at a party. She doesn't even know I have...
-我的天啊！ -老天爷！
- Oh! Oh, my God! - Jesus Christ.
-卡！ -搞屁啊？
- Cut! - what the fuck
搞什么？你在干嘛？
What the hell What are you doing
为什么不拿玻璃瓶打她？
Why didn't you hit her with a bottle
她真的打她？
She really hit her
对 用大理石猫雕刻
Yeah, with a fucking marble cat.
我还没吃早餐