末日哲学家

我得回家换身衣服
I have to run home and change.
留在这儿吧
Lets just not go.
我现在就得走
I'm leaving now.
五分钟 多待五分钟
Five minutes, five more minutes.
嘘
Pssst!
他们都知道你在这儿
They know you'r here.
别睡回笼觉哦
Don't go back to sleep.
不会的
I won't.
早上好
Selamat pagi.
早
Pagi.
知道莎士比亚关于守时的名言么
You know what shakespear said about punctuality?
宁可早三点钟 不可迟一分钟
Better three hours too early, then one minute too late.
我的手掌准时到了
My hand was on the door on time.
不管怎么说 总算到齐了
So here we are, at the end of it all
我已经倾囊相授 现下你们必须独♥立♥思考
I've done what I can for you, now you have to go out and think on your own
是振翅高飞 还是坠落身亡
time to fly or die.
您还是亚里士多德那一套 泽米特先生
Still defending Arist髏eles, Mr. Zimit.
不是上就是下 不是零就是一
Up or down.0 or 1.
不是对就是错 不是飞就是死
True or false. Fly or die.
您是二元论的奴隶 没觉得
You'r a slave to binary logic, you know that?
逻辑 存在
Logic, being?
关于理性的知识
The science of reason.
更具体一点
Or more precisely?
形成批判的思维力量
The power of the mind to form judgment
基于严谨的合法性原则
based on strict principles of validity.
逻辑
Logic...
人类生活了近万年
Remains after 10,000 years of the human experience,
哲学依然是渡日的最佳方式
the best way to get through the day.
过夜的时候就没什么用了
Though it still doesn't do much for you at night.
对了 昨晚我在床头读到一句妙语
Oh, right. I've read a great line in bed last night
我正想说呢
I was going to mention this.
哲学之于现实 就像手♥淫♥之于做♥爱♥
Philosophy is to real life, as masturbation is to sex.
读书总是好事
At least you're reading.
这就带来一个有趣的问题
That brings up an interesting point though
哲学对人们的现实生活是否有所裨益
wether philosophy makes any difference to help people actually live.
我是说 泽米特先生
I mean, Mr. Zimit
您认为那些没学过哲学的大众
would you say that most people
也能生活地很好么
who never study philosophy do ok in life?
猴子我都评价不了 更别提大众了
I couln't give a monkey's, wether most people do ok in life.
我是说 以谁的理念来区分好坏呢
I mean according to who's vapid creed, is doing ok?
如何定义有意义的人生
"The definition of a meaningfull existance?"
如果我们真的要讨论普罗大众
If we really want to talk about most people..
大多数人终身漫无目的
Most people are waddling through their days
芝士泡芙填满了肥肠
stuffing cheese puffs down their gullets,
大多数人整天呆若木鸡
Most people are so mush brains
不愿思考复杂的问题
they have no hope of solving of the intricate problems
他们浑浑噩噩地成长为人
they come up against as adult human beings
不到40岁就成了怨天尤人的疯子
most people by the age of 40 have turn into blubbering nutters
我是说内心深处
at least on the inside.
幸运的是 你们还不是大多数人
Fortunatly, you're not "Most people".
你们还有机会
So for you, theres a chance to
免于世上的污七八糟
clear apart through the muck of the world
认知事物的更深层面 53
And see ahead to the deep truth of things.
所以我们花费了一整年
Which is why we spent the last year
用聪明人用过的方法
strengthening your mind with the same tools
锻炼你们的头脑
used by some of the best brains in history.
笛卡尔 牛顿 维特根斯坦
Descartes, Newton, Wittgenstein,
探求那些现实中
to explore in the imagination
难以企及的想象世界
what they were constraint from exploring in the physical world.
不妨重温一下 大家最喜欢的思维实验
Do we feel like recaping some of our favorite thought experiments?
无限猴子定理
The infinite monkey theorem.
无限猴子定理
The infinite monkey theorem...
是灌输 无限 概念的经典方式
the classic way to wrap your head around the concept of "infinity".
给予无限的时间 把猴子放在打字机前
Which is so endless that if you put a monkey at a typewriter
让它永无止境地敲打键盘
and let him bang away at it forever,
它最终能够依靠随机的打字动作
he'll eventually, almost surely.
打出一部完整的哈姆雷特剧本 一字不差
Completly randomly type out the entire play of hamlet, word for word.
让它在特定的日子
I mean, the odds are nanoscale
打出一行正确的文字
but he's gonna hit all the rights keys on a row
概率也微乎其微 但如果时间达到了无限
on any given day, but over the strech of eternity
没有任何时间限制
across time, without any limit
任何事件
every event has some
在数学概率上 都会有实际发生的可能
actual mathematical probabilty of really happening.
还有谁要发言
Who else?
我喜欢电车难题
I like the trolley problem.
一辆失控的电车正全速冲向5名
An out of control trolley car is speeding towards 5 people
被绑在铁轨上的人
tied to a track
不过你可以拉动转辙器
but, you can pull a lever
让电车驶向另一条轨道
and make the trolley swerve into another track
那儿只绑了1个人
where only 1 person is going to get run down.
你会做何选择
Should you do it?
如果从功利的角度来看 你会说
If your being utilitarian about it, you can argue
牺牲了1个人 拯救了5个人是正确的行为
that you did the right thing letting 1 person die to save 5.
如果情况稍加变动会怎样
But what if the situation was slightly different?
假设当时没有道岔
This time there's no lever to make the trolley swerve
不过铁轨旁边站了个胖子
but theres an obese man standing next to the track
你算了下 他的体重足以
and you calculate that he wheights just enough
让电车脱轨
to derail the trolley.
你会把他推下去么
Do you push him in front of it?
当然不会
Absolutly not!
比起第一种情况 第二种为何难以接受
How's it less acceptable than the first version?
你同样是牺牲了1个人 拯救了5个人
You'r still sacrificing 1 person to save 5.
两种行为都不对
They're both wrong.
别让算计让你成了傻瓜
Don't be fool by the arithmetic
前后两者 都是谋杀
it's murder, eithir way.
还有人要发言么
Anyone else?
无知是福悖论
The ignorant bliss paradox.
你悬在雅加达的高楼上
You're hanging off the highest tower in Yakarta
距离地面有百米之高
it's a thousand foot drop to your death
所以你向三位好友呼救
so you call your three best friends for help
他们冲过来救你
they rush out to save you
可他们担心拉你的时候
but they're afraid if they try to pull you up,
自己会被拽下去
they might be yanked over themselves
于是三人却步了
so they step back.
你摔了下去
You fall...
却没有死
and live.
你会希望回到从前 当做没考验过他们
But do you wish you never tested your friends, in the first place?
还是接受现实 心知他们靠不住
Since now you know you can't count on them
在生死关头也无从依赖
when it's a matter of life or death.
选择无知 一辈子当朋友会
Would it be better if you stayed ignorant of what their truly good for
让你更开心么
and gone on being friend forever?
我会选择了解真♥相♥
I'd wanna know the truth
忘记旧友 大步向前 你会交上新朋友的
cut your loses, and walk on. you'll find other friends.
那你会从其他高楼上掉下来
You'll fall off other towers.
好消息是
The good news is:
尽管诸位将要分道扬镳
although we're about to part ways.
不过没人与文凭失之交臂 被迫进入社会
Not one of you leaves here, lacking the credentials to thrive in the world
你们准备充分 将在大学继续深造
your all well equipped, to push on to university
成为21世纪后工业社会快乐
and become happy, energetic members
积极的一员
of a post industrial twenty-first century society.
不过话说回来 要是社会不复存在了呢
On the other hand. what if that society ceases to exist?
要是你们的文凭不再有价值
What if your credentials don't mean what you expected?
要是你们的理想全都一文不值
And your expectations mean nothing at all?
我知道这很难想象
I know it's hard to concieve of everything
你们的人生规划 一瞬间全都破灭
you'ved based your plans on, being wiped away at a single stroke
前事不忘 后事之师
but I'ts happened before and it can happen again
让我们来谈谈这种情况
so let's say things do change
我要开始最后一场思维实验
I propose one last good ancan experiment
一场终极实验 作为本学期的最后一课
a final thought experiment, for our final session together.
蔚为大观 栩栩如生的实验
Something on a grand scale, something juicy.