艾伦秀 20150408 Amy.Schumer

-我知道 它在哪 -我不知道 怎么了
- I know, I know. Where is it? - I don't know why? What's wrong?
为什么 呃
Why? Um,
我都不知道我要去主持了
I didn't even know I was up for the job.
我以为是在卡内基音乐厅 讲脱口秀呢
And I got to do a show in Carnegie hall,
-你知道的 梦想得到提名的地方 -是啊
- You know, dream for a nominated. - Yep.
我从纽约飞过来 所以我
And I'm from New York so I um...
那天晚上我只是很激动
And that night I was just so
我所有高中朋友都在那
excited all my high school friends were there
然后我的宣传员 凯里·比亚利克
and then my publicist, Carey Biolic,
比亚利克 差不多就是这个名字
Biolic, something like that um..
她是我最好的朋友 我当时很紧张
She's like my best friend and I was just like nervous,
但她 她对我说你一定能行
but she um, she was like you've got it!
然后我说怎么可能
And I was just like what? It was...
她说是你要主持
And she said you're
我高中的朋友们都激动疯了
hosting and my high school friends went crazy,
他们终于觉得我实现了梦想
They now they finally think I've made it.
他们一直大喊MTV
They're just like, MTV!
我就说都多大了 我们都三十了 放轻松
I'm like how old? We're frekin' in our 30s, relax, but...
我的朋友事实上
Yeah I don't know my friends actually the,
有这么一个文章 我上了娱乐版的封面
there is an article, I was on the cover of entertainment
-是个周刊 我特别骄傲 -我知道 就是这个
- weekly. Which I'm so proud of. - I know. Look at this!
看看封面上的是谁
I mean look at the cover. Yeah!!!
是我
Me!!!
-上了杂♥志♥封面 我特激动 -是啊
- I was so excited about that. - Yeah.
很多小小的 酒瓶
Many little little uh.. Alcohol bottles.
它们是实际大小 但我跟个巨人一样
Those are actually full size but I am a giant.
我出演了权力的游戏 你喜欢吗
I'm on game of thrones, do you like me?
但我最好的朋友谢尔希·帕拉提 对我做了一句评语
Um... But one of my best friend Shelcy Pareti she did quote
他们问了些关于我的问题 然后她说
they asked questions about me she said,
"艾米不在乎别人对她的看法
"Amy doesn't care about anyone thinks
她极其冷酷客观"
of her to a clinical degree."
然后 我有点感到被侮辱了
And uh... I was like kind of an insult,
但 但是她是对的
but... but she's right,
所以我就 我只是想活的开心点
so I'm just, I just wanna have a really good time
我想让大家都能开怀大笑
and I want everybody to laugh.
-这才是最好的生活方式 -是啊
- That's how everyone should live, - Yeah.
这种不在乎别人想法的心态
This did not worry about what anybody thinks,
这是活出自我的最好方式
that's the best way to be full of yourself.
-没错 -你在这部电影里
- Yeah. - So this movie, you
是主演 还是编剧
are starring in it, you wrote it,
-贾德·阿帕图导演的吗 -是的
- Judd Apatow is directing? - Yes.
-他还是制片人 对吗 -我还是那里的技术指导
- and producing right? - I also do craft service on it I um...
我还开了那些拖车
I drove the trailers,
是的 贾德是导演
uh yes, Judd directed it,
你是编剧呢 你写的这部电影叫
But you wrote it, I mean that so it is called...
-生活残骸 -生活残骸
- Trainwreck. - Trainwreck?
现在
Now...
-是关于什么的 -是关于我的吗 是的
- What's it about? - Is it about me? Yes, yes it is,
是 当然是关于我的故事
yes, it is um of course it's about me
生活残骸 这部电影
yeah, Trainwreck, it's um,
这部电影讲述了一个女孩的故事
it's a story about a-a girl,
她三十多岁时 你认识了她
uh who's you know in her 30s,
然后 她的行为举止不再那么可爱
and like her behavior isn't really cute anymore,
整日酗酒 想干的事情很多
all the drinking and spreading herself
却有一事无成
a little too thin and...
太以貌取人了吧
Well judgmental, and uh...
别担心 我不在乎 然后
Guys, I'm fine, and then the...
然后她陷入了爱河
and you know she falls in love and she...
这部电影什么时候上映
And when is this coming out?
-不上映了 决定禁播这部电影 -好吧
- It's actually not, they decided not to release it. - Okay.
-七月十七日 -七月十七啊
- July 17th. - July 17th.
在那之前 我可以和你呆一起吗
Yeah, can I stay with you till then?
因为我还没拿到我的影薪
Because I haven't got my first check for the movie.
-可以吗 还是 -当然可以
- Was that... is that cool or... - Plenty of room.
-太好了 -嗯
- Okay cool - yeah,
-谢谢你 -我们十分欢迎你的加入 那太棒了
- Thank you, - We would love to have you, that would be great,
把你的海姆斯沃斯兄弟带来
bring your uh your Hemsworth brothers, uh
我会的 我到哪儿都带着它
I do, I travel with that,
-那就太好了 你确实有这个 -没错
- Okay good, you have it with you - Yeah
你的真人秀节目会回归吗
Um and your show was coming back
在喜剧中心播出第三季
on Comedy Central for the third season?
-是的 -又上舞台了 恭喜啊
- Yes. - Starting up again? Congratulations,
谢谢
Thank you,
-这一季节目 我感到很自豪 -是吗
- this season, I'm so proud. - Yes?
-是的 四月二十一日 -四月份啊
- Yes, April 21st, - April...
大家一定要来捧场 别光鼓掌
Please watch it, don't just clap
然后不去看 好吗
and then like not watch it, okay?
当个真君子 真实点
Be cool, be real.
天啊 你总能逗我发笑 你太逗了
Oh my god, you make me laugh so, you're hilarious,
2015MTV音乐奖
so 2015 MTV Movie Awards
将在东部时间周日八点上映
are live Sunday at 8 eastern on MTV,
节目稍后继续 这是艾米·舒默
we'll be back. Amy Schumer everybody.
我是女生联谊会的 她们对我很友善
I'm at a sorority, they're very nice to me.
我想要个百吉饼
I want a bagel.
该把陌生人们聚到一起了
It's time to bring total strangers together
通过我们叫做"走跳板"的游戏
in a game we're calling Walk the Plank.
让我们的选手上台吧
Alright let's find our contestants,
-特维奇你知道她们都是谁了吗 -当然
- Twitch you know who they are? - I do.
我都知道了 有请特妮莎·比姆 杰西卡·洛克
I do, we have Tenisha Beam, Jessica Lock,
奥莉维娅·埃克莱森
Olivia Eckleson,
还有珍妮弗·曹
and Jennifer Chao.
你好啊
Hi,
-怎么样 -你好
- How are you? - Hi!
嗨
Hi.
-嘿 -你好
- Hi! - Hi.
你是谁
Who are you?
珍妮弗·曹
Jennifer Chao,
-你是哪里人 做什么的 -我住在北好莱坞
- Where do you live what do you do, - I live in North Hollywood,
刚刚从护理学校毕业
I just graduate from nursing school,
不错啊 太好了 好工作
Oh good for you, wonderful, wonderful job.
特妮莎·比姆 来自贝尔兰迪 我是个保姆
Tenisha Beam, from Belenty, I'm a nanny.
-保姆 -是的
- Nanny? - Yeah.
你都照看多大的小孩
How old are the babies that you take care of?
最近都照看高中和初中的孩子
Well freshly and high school and middle school,
嗨 我是杰西卡 来自拉德尔湾
Hi I'm Jessica I'm from Ladelran
我兼♥职♥教师 在家当主妇
and I'm a bio teacher trainee and a stay at home mom.
不错 那你是
Okay great and you're?
我是奥莉维娅 来自明尼"速"达州 然后我是个学生
I'm Olivia from Minneso-ta, and I'm a student,
明尼"速"达 你在学"系"什么
Ah- Minneso-ta ? What do you "Stoting"?
-舞蹈专业 -舞蹈吗
- Ah dance. - Dance?
你学的是舞蹈专业 真棒
Ah you're studying dance that's fantastic,
你得告诉那些"孩子"
You need to tell those babies that they're not,
我理解你需要一份工作
they... I know you want a job,
但他们不需要保姆了 他们
but they don't need you anymore, they're... you know.
-可是我有钱拿 -好吧 我能理解
- I'm gonna get paid - Alright, yeah I understand.
游戏规则是这样的
Okay here's how you play,
每支队伍要踩着木板
your team will have to make its way through
穿过越野障碍训练场
the obstacle course by doing the plank walk,
就像安迪和杰森这样
just like Andy and Jason are doing.
他们会展示怎么玩
They will show you how it goes.
好的
Okay.
这就是一只队伍
So that is the team.
好的
Okay.
他们会帮你们
Alright. So they will help you.
把装备穿好
Go get your set up.
你们从这里开始 走过这里
You start here. You go through here.
再穿过这里
And then you go through here.
然后绕过这个
And then you go around that way.
接着绕过这个锥形路标
And then you go around this cone.
然后走过这个 听起来不错哦
And you go over this which will sound great.