末世家园（2018）

你们可能已经知道发生了什么事情
You probably already know what happened.
不过话又说回来 也可能不知道
Then again, you might not.
你们可能漠不关心
You might not even give a shit.
无论如何 我都得告诉你们
But I'm gonna tell you anyway.
我们都会处理日常生活
We all went about our daily lives,
尤其是世界上发生的糟糕的事情
oblivious to how bad things were in the world.
然后他们按下重启键
And then they hit the reset button,
抹去他们所有的问题 以数以万计的生命为代价
erasing all of their problems along with hundreds of millions of lives.
没人看到它的到来
No one saw it coming.
结尾
The end.
幸运的人们瞬间死去
The lucky ones were dead in seconds.
但是 对于我们其他人
As for the rest of us,
对黑色毒药免疫的人 我们不得不决定
immune to the black poison, we had to decide.
坚持过去的礼节
Hang on to the civility of the past,
还是成为新黑暗未来的野蛮人
or become savages in a new dark future.
嘿 孩子们 这是99.2 KILU...
Hey, kids, this is 99.2 KILU...
你们正在收听的是疯狂阿尔的广播派对 最后的广播秀
and you're listening to Crazy Al's radio party, The Last Radio Show.
对于身处末世家园的你们 今天又是安全的一天
Here's another safety update for all you domestics out there,
努力活着
just trying to stay alive.
如果你对该地区一无所知 听好了
If you're new to the area, listen up,
我会让你们知道我们这里 曾经美丽的中西部
and I'll fill you in on all the shit we've been dealing with
正在发生的破事
here, in the once beautiful Midwest.
美国政♥府♥继续保持沉默 多么恐怖啊
Still no word from the US government. What a shocker.
但我猜想当你们决定用致命药品喷洒你们国家的时候
But I suppose when you make the decision to crop dust your country
真的没什么可说了
with deadly chemicals, there's really not much more to say.
我猜民♥主♥制度变成专♥政♥时就会发生那样的事情
I guess that's what happens when a democracy turns into a dictatorship.
你们认为我们以前有各种问题?
You thought we had problems before?
债务 疾病 资源减少?
Debts, disease, dwindling resources?
某些咖啡师在你们该死的玛奇朵法布奇诺里放了太多的糖浆?
Some barista put too much syrup in your macchiato fucking Frappuccino?
你们知道 我那天看到什么吗?
You know what I saw the other day?
一个戴着该死的鹿头 拿着一把AK-47的家伙
A guy wearing a goddamn deer head holding an AK-47.
疯狂的是 那个婊♥子♥养♥的♥曾经是我的邻居
The crazy thing is, the son of a bitch used to be my neighbor.
这个坐落在上帝的绿土上的曾经伟大的国家
This once great nation on God's green earth
不再属于上帝
no longer belongs to God.
它现在属于帮派
It belongs to the gangs.
的确 妈的 中西部或许是
That's right, daddy-o, the Midwest may have been
砂锅面通心粉 刚割过的草坪和舒力茨啤酒之乡
the land of macaroni casserole, fresh cut lawns and Schlitz beer,
我们却有这个国家最差劲的帮派
but we've got some of the worst gangs in the country.
斧头帮 犁地小子帮
Nailers, Plowboys,
赌徒帮 樱桃帮 幽灵帮
Gamblers, Cherries, Sheets,
只是举几个例子
just to name a few.
他们都是坏消息
They're all bad news.
所以睁大你们的双眼 给你们的枪上膛
So keep your eyes open, your guns loaded,
因为在这个世界 你得先开枪 然后拼命奔跑
because in this world, you shoot first, then run like hell.
你们懂了吗?
You dig?
嗯 我胡扯得够多了 让我们放点音乐吧
Well, that's enough of my bullshitting, let's play some music.
今天是我们周末怀旧马拉松第902天
We're on day 902 of our weekend oldies marathon.
你们或许在问
You might be asking,
"疯狂阿尔 现在不是没有周末了吗?"
"Crazy Al, is this not the weekend anymore?"
嗯 宝贝 我才不管呢
Well, honey, I just don't give a fuck.
先聊到这儿 请听罗斯福·奈特 棋盘专辑
With that said, here's Roosevelt Nettles on the Chess label
漂泊的心
with Drifting Heart.
你真的要这样做
So you're really doing this.
嗯 - 为什么?
Yep. - Why?
你们需要的 这里都有
You got everything you need right here.
你以为我不知道吗?
You think I don't know that?
我知道这或许是我做过的最愚蠢的事情
I know it's probably the stupidest thing I've ever done.
但是我还爱着她
But I still love her.
你瞧 这就是我不结婚的原因
You see, this is why I never got married.
听着 马克 我不多说
Look, Mark, I'm not gonna tell you what to do,
是因为我知道你清楚那里的情况
because I know you know what's out there.
有一只轮胎漏气 你们就死定了
You get one flat tire, you're fucking dead.
如果你还是感觉这是拯救你们婚姻的唯一方式
If you still feel this is the only way to save your marriage,
感谢上帝的垂青
for the love of God,
换辆车吧
take a different car.
我修好了
I fixed it.
你修好了? - 是的
You fixed it? - Yep.
呃 我们说的是同一辆车吗?
Uh, are we still talking about the same car?
我修好了
I fixed it.
疯狂阿尔的广播派对 音乐时间机器...
Crazy Al's radio party. The music time machine...
嗨 我是疯狂阿尔
Hi, this is Crazy AI.
看起来今天又会是操蛋的一天 妈的
It looks like it's gonna be another shitty-ass day, daddy-o.
感谢你们收听KILU广播
Thanks for tuning into KILU radio.
未经允许 未提前告知
No requests, no dedications,
只是你们新生活中一条很拽的声道
just a kick ass soundtrack to your new way of life.
远离高速公路 小心那些狙击手
Stay off the freeways and watch out for those snipers.
而且 如果你看到有人穿的像幽灵
And if you see someone dressed like a ghost,
朝那个混账东西开枪 因为幽灵帮不是在玩不给糖就捣蛋的游戏
shoot that motherfucker because Sheets ain't trick-or-treating.
正如那个伟大的思想家 巴巴-呜-哞-哞(歌♥曲:迷惑)之前所说
As that great philosopher Baba-Oom-Mow-Mow once said
"以其人之道还治其人之身"
"Doo-wop unto others as you would have them doo-wop unto you."
快点 我们动作快点
Come on, let's make this quick.
那些笨蛋还在那里
Those fuckers are still out there.
他妈的幽灵帮 该死的胆小鬼
Fuck the Sheets. Fucking pussies.
那些该死的胆小鬼刚刚痛击了我们
Those fucking pussies just kicked our asses.
快点 我们吃点豆子 他妈的离开这里
Come on, let's eat some beans and get the fuck outta here.
路上的城镇还是我们的地盘
We still got that town up the road.
把车门打开
Open the door.
踩油门
Hold down the gas.
你们要盐和辣椒吗?
You guys want any salt and pepper?
快点
Come on.
对于身处末世家园的你们 今天又是安全的一天
Here's another safety update for all you domestics out there
勇敢面对荒凉的乡村
braving the barren countryside.
官方认为 幽灵帮与斧头帮在火拼
It's official that Sheets and Nailers are in a turf war.
知道你们这些蠢货那里可以听到我的声音
know you fuckers can hear me out there.
那么帮我们大家一个忙 自相残杀
So do us all a favor and just kill each other
让我们继续生活
so we can get on with our lives.
说到这儿 该躲起来了
With that said, it's time to get safe.
把车停在路边 找个避难处
Pull off the roads, find some shelter,
因为太阳要落山了
because the sun is going down.
一个小时已经过去了35分钟 你们正在收听的是疯狂阿尔的广播派对...
thirty-five past the hour and you're listening to Crazy Al's radio party...
我们应该远离公路
We should stay off the roads.
在这里凑合一夜
Crash here for the night.
你觉着安全吗?
Do you think it's safe?
我们会知道的
We'll find out.
这绝对不会发生在我们身上 我保证
This will never be us, I promise.
密尔沃基小姐 我是老鹰 结束
Miss Milwaukee, this is Eagle. Over.
密尔沃基小姐 我是老鹰 结束
Miss Milwaukee, this is Eagle. Over.
妈妈?
Mom?
好吧
Okay.
我只是想让你们知道我们已经动身了
I just wanted to let you know that we're on our way.
我想听到你们的声音
I wish I could hear your voice.
我知道马克想修复我们之间的关系
I know Mark wants to fix things between us.
只是我不知道如何修复 我们的关系已经破裂太久了
I just don't know how. We've been broken for too long.
我希望你们能告诉我 一切都会好起来
I wish you could tell me everything's going to be all right.
我想你们
I miss you.
你记得吗? 我们以前经常抱怨密尔沃基的路
You remember when we used to complain about the Milwaukee drive?
需要5个小时
Five hours.
现在感觉没什么
Seems like nothing now.
你觉得这次我能 呃...
You think I'll be able to, uh...
让你♥爸♥爸把他的枪送给我吗?
To get your dad to give me his gun this time?
你总会从他放的地方偷出来的那把?
The one you always steal from his safe?
嗯 那把威尔迪·马格南左轮手♥枪♥? 是的
Mmm. The Wildey Magnum? Yeah.
恐怕不能
I doubt it.
他不喜欢你
He doesn't like you.
是啊 他不喜欢我
No, he does not.
其实 我非常确定他最后向我说的是
I'm actually pretty sure the last thing he said to me was
"把你的烂摊子收拾好 你这个小丑"
"Get your shit together, you clown."
说得好
It was nice.
听起来是对的
That sounds about right.
晚安 马库斯
Good night, Markus.